Along those lines
by Nightrayspath
Summary: He had spent the last 16 years being dead. Silently watching over his son and his friends. Now after the war had finally been won he woke up. He woke up in the seventies when he was eleven with the knowledge of the future.
1. An old new Beginning

Chapter 1

An old new beginning

Well, this was unexpected. Unexpected and weird. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Rubbing his eyes and making sure that what he was seeing was really true. When even after all the blinking and squinting in the world his reflection did not change he had to concede that what he was seeing was reality. A weird and bizarre reality but reality none the less. He hadn't expected to wake up and be alive. Well, they had said that they would bring him back from the dead but they had forgotten to mention when they would bring him back. He stared at the reflection of himself. He was eleven years old, again. It would seem as if he would have to go through puberty twice. He groaned. Who could claim that they went through puberty twice. He also would have through the horrid clothes that they all had worn in the seventies again. Just great. He had been dead for 17 years, stuck in the in-between because he couldn't leave his friends and son behind. The in-between was the place where one decided to go to heaven, become a ghost or waited for somebody. He and Lily had been watching over them for 16 years. He had watched their every breath. He had welcomed Moony and Padfoot when they died and his two friends had chosen to wait with him for Harry when they had suddenly brought him back to life. They had to transfer his dead soul into the body of his very much alive eleven year old self of the seventies. Couldn't they have chosen a different age and maybe a different time? Maybe when he was an adult and not a squirt? They had a twisted sense of humor.

"Bloody Fates", he muttered under his breath. How the hell was he supposed to stop Voldi when he was stuck in the body of an eleven year old. He stared at his reflection some more. He had nearly forgotten just how much he looked like Harry when he was younger. His son had the same unruly black hair as him. Even their stature and face looked very similar. Only their eyes were as different as night and day. The hazel eyes staring back at him were so very different from his sons emerald ones.

Lily would be laughing at him right now. She would find the whole thing bloody hilarious. He groaned again as he thought of Lily. He had to live through six and a half years of her hating him again. Well, maybe he could change things this time around. Maybe she wouldn't hate him. The thought made him realize something. It made him realize that he could change a lot of things for the better. Not everything but maybe the things that were manageable. He needed a plan and fast.

From the way the today was marked on the calendar next to his desk today was the first of September. The day he would go to Hogwarts for the first time. And just like he remembered his trunk was not packed at all. He could vividly remember now how he had scrambled to pack everything at his mother's call at 10 o'clock. Quickly his eyes landed on the clock above the door. He still had half an hour before his mother called him. Enough time to pack. He quickly grabbed his wand. He smiled as his fingers closed around the familiar wood. He had missed his wand. Being without it in death had felt wrong.

He raised his wand and went through the motions his younger self had not known back then. The rule of not allowing underage wizards from performing magic outside of school had one gigantic loophole. They could not identify the caster. That meant that children with magical parents could perform magic without being suspected. That Loophole had caused Harry all the trouble with Dobby back in second year. He watched as everything flew into his trunk. Everything neatly taking its place inside the trunk. He also put inside his first aid kit for which he still needed to get some salves from his mums cabinet. The last item flying into it was his invisibility cloak, which had once been his fathers and in the future had been his sons. One of the deathly hallows. The thing which would protect his son and his friends from prying eyes. He gently touched the cloak before he shut the trunk. He kept his wand in his trouser pocket. Not daring to leave it far from his person especially after he had been killed so easily without it. He checked the clock again. He still had time before she called him and he would embarrasses himself horribly by hugging her tightly. He quickly grabbed an empty piece of parchment, ink and a quill before flopping down on his bed. He needed to make a list of all the things he would need to change this time around. After a few minutes of scribbling his list contained the following things:

_1\. Lily - Making sure that Lily doesn't hate him as much as last time. Don't insult Snape while she is standing next to you. Don't make jokes about her hair. Don't try to play it cool. Stop showing off in front of her. __No asking her out every day!_(he needed to make a better impression on her than the first time around but he didn't want her to fall head over heels for him immediately. He could wait till seventh year again. In a sense he had liked their cat and mouse game. It had given their relationship a certain balance and strength that he didn't want to miss.)

_2\. Sirius - Get him out of the Black family earlier! NEVER say that he is like his family! Never let him near Azkaban in any way! Never let Dementors near him! work on his temper! Try to stop him from going overboard! But still let him be himself! And most importantly: __Warn him about killer curtains!_ (He looked down at the words fondly. He had missed his best friend more than he cared to admit. Even if he had been beside him the last two years after his unfortunate incident with the curtain of doom. It didn't make up for the 15 years he had been without him.)

_2\. Remus - Be there for him! Don't drag him through Hogwarts after a full moon, get a lunar chart! Be more gentle when revealing that you know about his furry little problem! __Don't ever doubt him!__ Don't mess with his books and don't try to take away his chocolate! _( He winced as he thought about how they had doubted him. He couldn't imagine the betrayal Remus must have felt. He would never doubt him again. He would value his unspoken trust more than ever before)

_3\. Regulus - __prevent his death!__ making sure that he and Sirius don't hate each other, turning Reg into an accomplice? Lessen his parents influence on him _(This one would give him a headache he knew. He knew first-hand what Regulus had done. He had told him so in death. He knew the kid had a good heart and this time around he would make sure that Sirius saw it and not the perfect child of his mother. Also he would make sure that he didn't die like that. He would come with him to destroy the locket. But he needed the sword of Gryffindor or Basilisk fangs.)

_4._ _Snape_ (He had no clue what he was supposed to do about this one. After all he could never ever possibly like Snape but he knew what Snape would do for Lily and he had to respect that. Snape may have gone about it the wrong way but he loved Lily. He wouldn't be able to resist playing a prank on Snape form time to time but there would be no more bullying this time around.) _-__ No bullying but a few pranks are allowed!_

_5\. Voldemort - ? (_He would deal with this after he had dealt with everything else. This problem was too big to make certain plans yet. He also had no clue about the current situation concerning the reign of the not yet Noseless bastard)

_4\. The Basilisk! - Kill it or let someone know about it? _

_5\. The Horcruxes - Finding and destroying them! Problem: The diary (_Since he had no clue where Voldemort had hidden it. Maybe it was with the Malfoys but he couldn't be sure.)

_6\. Peter Pettigrew - Wormtail _(He felt torn. He felt anger for his betrayal but he also missed the friend he had been during his Hogwarts years. Maybe he could prevent it from happening. Maybe he could stop Peter from turning dark. Also even if he turned dark he wouldn't make him his secret keeper. Maybe he could save him.) - _making sure on whose side he is, prevent him from turning dark, stop ridiculing him, try to install some confidence into him, make him stand up for himself, stop protecting him from everything, teaching him to stop hiding behind powerful people and maybe __save him__. _

_7\. The willow incident - __STOP IT FROM EVER HAPPENING!_

_8\. Map and Animagus - maybe start a little earlier?_

_9\. Avoid Malfoy at all costs! (no repetition of the frog incident!)_

_10\. Same goes for Bellatrix! And for Ms. Black!_

_11\. Less harmful pranks! No serious injuries!_

_12\. Dobby - freeing him from Malfoy!_

_13\. Kreacher - TRY to make Sirius act civil with him! (Emphasis on try!)_

_14\. Don't go along with Sirius grand master plan number 26 and 31!_

"James!" His mothers call cut through his furious scribbling. He folded the piece of parchment neatly and put it in his trousers pocket before he jumped out of the bed.

"Coming!" He called as he hastily left his room and nearly fell down the stairs because he hadn't been looking where he was stepping while running. Taking two steps at a time. He more or less slithered into the dining room where his parents were putting out the plates for a very late breakfast.

He stopped dead at the sight of the two of them. His mother was just about to put the handmade cherry marmalade on the table. She looked slightly startled at his sudden entrance. The eyes he had inherited were looking at him with love. Her long copper hair was falling in waves over her shoulders. There were less grey strands than he remembered. The last time he had seen her hair had been completely silver. It was the day they had lowered her coffin into the ground. He bit his lip and tried to furiously suppress the tears that threatened to spill.

He threw his arms around her and hugged her. He soaked in her warmth and relaxed in her familiar scent. Her arms came around him automatically and she gently started to stroke his hair probably making it even messier. He had forgotten how it felt to be hugged by his mother. Something his son had never experienced. He hugged her a little tighter.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly as her finger trailed through his hair. He could hear the worried undertone in her voice. It was unusual for him to hug her like this when he was already eleven. He had always insisted that he was too grown-up for the cuddling, not that it had stopped his mother. He pulled back slightly.

"Nothing is wrong. Can't I just hug my mother for once?" He asked with a small smile. She raised an eyebrow clearly not believing him. But she didn't press the issue. His father was watching him with a questioning look. He looked nearly like him. The same unruly yet black hair, the same nose and mouth but different eyes. His were a dark blue whereas James were just as hazel as his mums eyes. His black hair was lined with silver. Before his dad could say anything James had hugged him as well.

He could hear his father's heartbeat. He could feel the sense of safety that he had always felt in his father's presence return. He had lost that feeling of safety with his father's death and the lurking danger of Voldemort. To be able to feel it again was like a fresh breath of air.

"All right, you're acting weird. What are you planning?" His father's voice asked from above him.

"I'm not planning anything!" He exclaimed with a pout. His father just laughed his deep and carefree laughter.

"Right and I'm supposed to just believe that?" He asked as he ruffled through James hair, which made James pout all the more.

"Boys!" His mother said with a fond smile. James took a seat between his parents at the table that was way too big for three people. The table was filled with all kind of foods. Last time he was unable to savor the food because he had to rush in order to pack his trunk. This time around he could eat as much as he wanted. He put all kind of food on his plate.

"Did you pack you're trunk?" His mother asked as she took a sip of her tea.

"Yes!" James said while chewing. He had forgotten just how good his mothers pancakes were. His mothers wrinkled her nose. She opened her mouth to admonish him for his table manners but they beat her to it.

"No talking while eating!" His father and him said at the same time in a bored voice. They shared a small wicked grin whereas his mother just huffed.

His father pulled out the daily prophet and started reading it which elicited another eye roll from his mother. She had tried for years to stop him from reading during breakfast with no success. In the end she had given up. James sniggered. She would be annoyed if she found out that he would do the same in the future. An idea came to James. Maybe there was something written about Snakeface.

"Dad, can I have the daily prophet please?" His father raised an eyebrow in question but handed him the wizard newspaper. Quickly James scanned through the articles. He was so busy checking them that he missed the worried looks his parents shared. There was nothing written in there. That meant he had to sneak into his dads study and find the files his father had on the Deatheaters. Having the Head Auror as a father was quiet handy. Not that he liked using his father's influence. He also needed to get some tinctures and salves from his mum for the first aid kit. He put the daily prophet down and came face to face with his parents stares.

"What?" He asked after his parents didn't stop staring at him.

"Are you sure that you're all right?" His father asked while his mother said: "You don't have a fever, right?" James groaned. Was it that weird for him to read the daily prophet? From the way his parents were acting it seemed to be. As annoying as it was he had missed their concern and worry.

"I'm fine", He said with a fond smile and an eye roll.

**oOo**

**A.N.: This was originally just a vague idea. **The whole Snape travels back in time and changes the future stories gave me the idea. So I thought what would one of the marauders do. **I wrote it during one of my more boring History seminars to pass the time. It is more or less a side project, which is why it will probably only be updated when I'm updating Revival of the past. I might update it sooner but I don't want to let any of my stories down. **

**Anyways I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and reviews are very much appreciated :)**

**Thanks for reading ~**


	2. A reunion and Exploding Snap

Chapter 2

Exploding snap and a reunion

James was tapping his foot nervously. He had already found a compartment, the same compartment as last time. His trunk was already stored overhead together with his owl, Raleigh. It was a long-eared owl with piercing yellow eyes. His name meant roe deer's meadow and James had to concede that the name fit strangely well. He hadn't known the meaning of the name when he had named his owl but Lily had told him the meaning of it back in seventh year. She had liked knowing the meaning behind names. Thinking about Lily made him even more nervous. Couldn't Sirius finally get his ass in here and distract him. But James could see through the window that Sirius was still talking to his mother who was clutching Sirius wrist in a tight grip or rather his mother was talking while he pretended to listen. He could also make out Remus in the distance talking to his parents. With a groan James had to concede that it would take a while till Sirius was able to escape his parents clutches. With sigh he opened his bag and pulled out the files he had stolen from his dads office.

There had been a few murders of Muggleborns and Muggle in which dark magic was clearly involved but till now there was nothing concrete tying these murders to Voldemort or his Deatheaters. James scowled. Last time he hadn't even realized that even in his first year there had already been incidents happening all over the place. The current Aurors hadn't made the connection yet but James knew enough about the bloody scenes Voldemort and his supporters left behind to recognize that these crimes were committed by them. He stared at the pictures of the destroyed houses and killed families feeling a sense of cold dread settling in his stomach. The war had been bloody and dark. He would have to go through everything again and this time he would not have the blissful ignorance he had during his Hogwarts years. He knew what was out there. He knew what awaited him. He knew how much blood and death there would be.

oOo

Sirius could finally breath freely as he stepped onto the Hogwarts express. He was finally free from his mothers prying eyes and his father's cold gaze. With a loud thunk his trunk his got caught in the corner of corridor in the new wagon he had just entered. He felt a dull ache in his left wrist as he pulled at his trunk. With a frown he pulled his long sleeved shirt back. There was a bruise in the shape of his mother's hand slowly appearing on his pale skin. He muttered a few curse words before he pulled the sleeve back down to hide it. With a sharp tug he freed his trunk from the corner and continued to make his way down the corridor. He passed one full compartment after the other. It was loud as students were laughing loudly and shouting at each other. A few of the older students were patrolling up and down the corridor. Their perfect badges proudly presented on their chests. Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They were way to stuck up for his liking and rule lovers. He didn't give a damn about rules. Especially the rules of his family. the next compartment he passed by he could see his cousin Narcissa and her boyfriend Malfoy and he hurried past it as quickly as possible. He did not want to go anywhere near any of his mad cousins. The only cousin he would talk to was his cousin Andromeda. She may also be a Slytherin but at least she was sane.

With brought him to the thought of Slytherin and he had to shudder. He would rather kill himself than end up in the same house as his family. He would not end up in Slytherin. It seemed as if all compartments were full. In one of them a boy around his age was sitting studying what seemed to be files. Maybe he could make his first friend. He knocked softly on the doorframe. The boy looked up startled. Messy black hair, that stood up in all different directions and round rimmed glasses.

"Is here free?" He asked. He saw in a relieved smile bloom on the boy face as he nodded. Sirius pulled his trunk into the compartment. His short-eared owl , Basset was hooting indigently at the rough treatment.

"Let me help" The boy exclaimed as he saw Sirius struggle with his trunk. Together they managed to secure the trunk and the owl cage. With a relieved sigh he let himself fall on the seat next to the boy, who chuckled. He was putting the files away and Sirius noticed the seal of the Auror department on each one of the files.

"I'm James. Nice to meet you!" James held out his hand a grin on his face. The hazel eyes were dancing with laughter. A part of Sirius was relieved that James hadn't introduced himself with last name. So he didn't have to tell him his family name. He didn't want to scare away his first possible friend with his families dark reputation.

"Sirius" He said with a grin as he shook James hand.

oOo

James could barely contain the mad grin that threatened to overtake his features. He looked at Sirius and had to resist the urge to hug him. He looked so much better than after his stay in Azkaban. His shiny black hair was not as long. It was framing his face in a mass of shaggy black hair. There was no gaunt look to his skin. His storm grey eyes were not haunted. He looked like any other eleven year old boy. James felt almost giddy with relief.

"Care for some exploding snap?" James asked with a grin. He didn't need to wait for Sirius eager nod. He pulled out his card set. He had gotten it for his birthday. On each card famous wizards and witches were painted. There were always two cards of each wizard or witch.

"Classic exploding snap?" Sirius asked. James nodded and sat down on the floor of the compartment. Sirius followed him down without question. They made themselves comfortable on the hard floor.

James knew that Sirius was way better at exploding snap than him. He had nearly always beaten him in the past, which is why he had suggested it. During the first ride there had been a bit of awkward silence. He hoped that like this he would be spared the awkwardness.

After around 30 minutes he regretted his decision. As he had expected Sirius had won every round. What he had not yet expected was Sirius endless gloating.

"How may wins does this make?" Sirius asked with a smirk. James scowled and brushed the black grime that was clinging to his glasses away with the hem of his t-shirt.

"And how many times did you lose, Jamsie? 20?" He asked with broad grin.

"Oh shut up!" James exclaimed before he tackled Sirius. The two of them were rolling across the floor in a mock fight. They were laughing so hard that their stomachs hurt. He had missed this simple silliness. They were still wrestling on the floor when the compartment door opened. Sirius had James pinned to the floor and had been tickling his sides mercilessly. James had been about to retaliate when the door opened. The two boys looked up. James felt like someone had punched all the air out o his lungs. In the doorway Lily stood in all her glory. Dark red hair framed her face and her emerald eyes were looking directly at them. He face was filled with freckles. He had forgotten just how cute she had looked when she had been eleven. She had raised an eyebrow in question at their antics.

"Can we help you?" Sirius asked with an annoyed voice. James used the chance and rolled them over. So that Sirius was now the one beneath him. Even with his focus on Lily he noticed Sirius small flinch when he had touched his left wrist. James had a suspicion but wouldn't dare voice it anywhere near Lily or Snape. He grabbed Sirius near his elbow instead.

"Do you need something?" James asked. Internally he was glad that he had not stuttered. Lily seemed a little caught off guard. He smiled at her.

"Actually, yes." Lily said after a moment still staring at them in amusement, which was better than what happened during their last first meeting. "We wanted to know if there were still some seats free here? Our compartment has been filled with upperclassmen." This time James could see a scowling Snape standing behind Lily. He looked just like he had remembered him. Pale, black eyes and greasy looking black hair. James nodded and got up pulling Sirius to his feet with him.

"We are the only ones here, so obviously there should be free seats." Sirius said as he dusted himself off. James looked around. They had managed to scatter the cards all over the compartment. With a sigh he started to collect them. Sirius gave him the cards he had collected but with a frown James noted than one was still missing.

"Here!" Lily held out the last card to him.

"Thanks!" He said with a small smile and took the card from her. Lily and Snape made themselves comfortable on the seats opposite of him. James knew what conversation would soon follow and when they started talking about houses he couldn't help the small snort that escaped him. Somehow they were so predictable, probably not only because he had already lived through the whole thing.

"And in what house do you expect to end up?" Snape sneered and James realized with a start that he had snorted when Snape had mentioned Slytherin. He groaned mentally. Hadn't he planned on not doing this, this time around.

"Probably like my dad in Gryffindor, where the brave at heart dwell!" James exclaimed and he couldn't resist pulling an invisible sword. Sirius laughed next to him and he could even see a small smile on Lily's lips.

"More brawn than brain" Snape said with an eye roll and James could feel Sirius stiffen next to him. It was sweet how protective Sirius was even during their first meeting and it didn't help that Slytherin supporters always riled Sirius.

"Well, you are neither." Sirius retorted hotly. Snape glared at him. James could see how Lily started to feel angry on behalf of her friend. It was all going to happen the same way again. If he didn't intervene somehow the whole thing would go down the drain. He didn't want Snape as a friend but he also didn't want him as an obvious target for Sirius hatred and as an enemy. Carefully he pulled his wand making sure that none of them saw it. With a small wave aimed at the trunk above them he managed to stop Snapes angry retort. The trunk fell down and sprang open in the middle of the compartment. Sirius disheveled clothes flew everywhere. One of his socks ended up hanging on James glasses. He shared a look with Sirius. A shirt had landed on Sirius head. They burst out laughing at the same time. And once they started they couldn't stop. He heard the disdainful sniff from Snape who plucked a pair of boxer shorts from his lap to throw them on the ground. Instead of making them angry it made them laugh all the more. It was bloody hilarious.

"Let's go, Sev." Lily said. He could hear the eye roll that accompanied her words. But unlike last time her voice was not filled with as much anger as it was during their past first meeting.

oOo

Sirius took a deep breath trying to calm down but every time he looked at James with the sock hanging on his glasses he had to start laughing again. Especially when he started pulling grimaces.

It took them a while but eventually they managed to calm down. James plucked the sock from his glasses. Together they repacked all of Sirius stuff and locked the trunk but before he could put it back up James pulled his own trunk down. With a small click he opened the trunk. It looked a lot neater than Sirius had looked. He pulled out a small square bag. It was filled with vials and salves, He pulled something out before putting the bag back inside and closing the trunk.

"Can you help, please?" James asked as he struggled to put his trunk back up. Sirius nodded and together they put his as well as James trunk back up next to the owl cages.

"Hand!" James asked holding his own out. Confused Sirius put his right hand in James.

"The other hand." James said with an eye roll and a small smile. Sirius gave him his left hand still feeling confused. He felt like a dog who was asked to give paw. James fingers enclosed around his hand and before he could react James had pulled his sleeve back. The bruise that marred his wrist was in stark contrast to his skin. James breath came out through clenched teeth sounding like a hiss. Sirius wanted to pull his hand back but James grip didn't relent. He couldn't look at James and turned his head away.

"I knew it." Sirius thought he heard James mutter but he couldn't be sure. All sound around him sounded muted through the roaring in his ears. He hadn't wanted him to see. It he didn't need his pity and he didn't want it. He didn't want to be pitied by his first friend. For they were friends. He didn't dare look James in the eyes but after a while of silence he slowly turned towards James. James was staring at his bruise. Not making a sound.

"James..." Sirius said softly hoping that his friend wouldn't turn his back on him. James head jerked up. To Sirius surprise there was no pity in his eyes only blazing hot anger. Yet it wasn't directed at him but at whom had given him the bruise. The anger was directed towards his mother.

"P-Sirius, next time your injured tell me. I wouldn't have tackled you." James said as he stared intently at Sirius. There was an apology clearly heard in his voice. He felt relief flood through his system. He wasn't asking about whom he had gotten the bruises from. He didn't know if he would have been able to answer.

"A little bit of wrestling won't harm me." Sirius said with a small smirk. James smiled back but the anger in his eyes was still lingering.

He jumped when something cool was smeared across his bruise. James was smearing some salve onto it at Sirius questioning look he elaborated.

"Reduces bruising. It's made by my mum. She's a healer at St. Mungo's" James answered as he smeared the stuff all over his wrist. That must have been the thing he had pulled out of the small black bag

"Thanks" Sirius said softly. James grinned at him. He pulled his sleeve back down and the bruise disappeared beneath the black cotton.

A woman's voice sounded from the corridor. The witch with the trolley full of sweets was here. The two of them shared a grin before hastily searching for some sickles and galleons.

oOo

**A.N.: I hope you enjoyed the second chapter and reviews are always welcome. Please also tell me if you find any errors. My english is not perfect since it is not my native language. Thank you.**

5


	3. Boats and Baths

Chapter 3

Boats and Baths

Remus felt lost as he got off the Hogwarts express surrounded by a mass of laughing and chattering students. He hadn't talked to anyone inside his compartment, as they had been students of higher years, who had mostly discussed the gossip of the previous school year. He had pulled out his book and had read throughout the ride, so, he had more or less hidden behind his book. He bit his lip nervously as he followed the giant that had introduced himself as Hagrid with the other students.

He was afraid and he knew it. All his fears were swirling around his head. The fear of this all being a dream. He was a werewolf and it was a wonder that he had even gotten his Hogwarts letter. A part of him was waiting for it all to be nothing more than a dream. He was still waiting for somebody to tell him that all of this was nothing more than a horrible joke. He was also afraid of his first full moon. Professor Dumbledore hadn't explained where he would transform and he had pretty much no idea what would await him, and that scared him more than anything. He followed the other students silently till they reached the lake where boats were tied to the landing.

"Four per boat!" The booming voice of Hagrid called. Slowly he approached the water. He looked and saw that most of the boats were already filled with the new students. At the corner there was a boat where only two boys were sitting. They had their backs turned to him and seemed to be in a discussion which was underlined by laughter. He took a deep breath, telling himself over and over again that he was fine and that no one knew his secret. He tried to clamp a lit on his nervousness as he approached the boat.

oOo

James saw Remus slowly approach and once again he couldn't help the relief that swooped through him. Remus still looked pale and sickly. His brown hair was hanging into his golden eyes that he held firmly fixed to the ground as he walked over to them. There were no grey hairs yet and no deep sadness engraved into his very bones. This time he would make sure that there would be nothing that made his life unbearable. He would protect his friend.

He would also make sure that the willow incident would never happen. That incident in their friendship had been the foundation for Remus believing all the lies about Sirius. He would not allow a single crack in their friendship this time.

"Can I sit with you guys?" Even though Remus uttered the words in a soft voice, they didn't reflect the nervousness that he must have felt. He had admitted afterwards in their shared room that he had been nervous. James was about to answer when Sirius beat him to it.

"Sure" Sirius said with a grin. Remus smiled a small timed smile back before he slowly climbed into the gently rocking boat.

"Careful!" James grabbed a hold of his arm when he seemed to lose his balance on the wavering boat. Not for the first time James realized just how frail Remus seemed. He was thin and combined with his sickly look the urge to protect was nearly overwhelming. He knew that Remus was anything but weak, but he still knew that they would once again be overprotective, much to Remus annoyance and amusement.

"Thanks" Remus said softly as James helped him steady himself.

"You're welcome." James answered with a smile.

Remus took a seat opposite of Sirius. James looked around with a small frown. Peter was supposed to get into the same boat as them or at least that was how it had been the last time. He was still unsure whether or not he would simply throw him overboard and sacrifice him to the giant squid.

He noticed Peter slowly approaching in the distance. This time he would not be the one to welcome Peter, he feared that he would punch him straight away. He climbed into the boat and took his seat next to Sirius, who was rubbing his wrist. James new that the salve was starting to itch like hell but it helped.

"E-Excuse m-me, are the-there still s-eats free?" Peters stutter was so much worse than he remembered. James turned his head away and took a deep breath trying to stay calm. He closed his eyes trying to not let his anger show.

"Yes, there are." Remus answered kindly as James knew he would. Remus had always been kind and patient with Peter whereas he and Sirius had been brisk and impatient. Maybe that had been one of the reasons why he turned against them. James fists were clenched tightly. He felt Sirius worried look and shook his head before smiling at him. Sirius frowned. Oh well, the smile must have been more strained than he had thought.

With the call from Hagrid the tiny boats started gliding across the lake.

oOo

Remus frowned. The glasses wearing boy's friendly and easygoing nature had disappeared as the new boy had gotten on the boat. There was no laughing or joking with the boy next to him. Instead, his expression had become closed-off, distant as his hands were clenched into fists. Remus watched him curiously as he gave the boy next to him an obviously fake and strained smile.

"You're not seasick, right? James, I hope you aren't gonna puke all over us." The boy with the shaggy, longish black hair asked with a small smirk, obviously trying to distract his friend. James laughed and shook his head.

"No worries, Sirius. I'm not going to ruin your expensive flares!" He exclaimed with a grin. The darkness that had been in his expression had almost disappeared.

"Just what do you have against my trousers?" Sirius said with an affronted expression,

"Except that they look absolutely horrible?" James teased with a laugh.

"Muggles wear them all the time!" Sirius answered proudly.

"Yes, well, as much as I like Muggles, their taste is sometimes ... questionable!" James said with a small grin. "Isn't that right?" He turned towards Remus who was a little caught off guard to be included in the conversation.

"Well..." Remus thought about the flowery shirt his mum had brought for his dad last week and had to concede the point. "You're right."

He didn't feel bad for admitting the truth. After all, he had first hand experience. His mother was a Muggle and she often brought home things that were... a bit weird in the appearance. Especially her taste in clothes. His father just nodded when she presented him with another article of clothing that was completely cool in the Muggle world but truthfully looked quite ridiculous. His father accepted each of them and hid them away in his closet never to be seen again.

"Ha, you see!" James said with a triumphant laugh. Sirius just grumbled. Remus couldn't help the small quirk of his lips.

"But so is the taste of wizards." Remus said. Now Sirius was the one who grinned and James grumbled. Before either of them could say anything else, the boats slowly moved around a bend and Hogwarts in all his glory could finally be seen. The castle was beautiful and gigantic. Stone towers were towering high, looking as if they could touch the stars that were starting to appear in the sky. The brightly lit windows were emitting a warm glow. The cry of an owl filled the awed silence that had fallen over the boats.

He looked around at his companions. The chubby boy was staring open mouthed at the castle. Sirius was looking a little more composed but one could see the awe clearly written in his eyes. James looked pleased and happy but there was no surprise at the magnificent of Hogwarts in his face.

Slowly but steadily the boats moved towards the castle that was still far away. It was the place where they would spent most of the next seven years. Remus couldn't help feeling giddy. It was a dream come true. After his bite, he had never thought that it would be possible for him to ever step foot on the grounds of Hogwarts. Like most of the other children, his eyes were glued to the castle.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed suddenly "Look at that!"

Remus pulled his gaze away from the castle to see James and Sirius peering over the edge of their boat into the dark waters of the lake.

"There it was again!" James said and pointed his finger at a point where something had disturbed the water's surface.

"Maybe Sirens?" Sirius asked and now Remus couldn't help himself and leaned over the edge next to Sirius.

"Rather Selkies. Sirens live in warm water around Greece somewhere. Here in the colder water there could only be be selkies or maybe even irish merrows." Remus said as he peered into the dark water. This time he also saw the dark shadow moving beneath the waters dark surface. If it was daytime and they had more light than the small glow from their boats lanterns they would probably be able to tell what it was.

"You're like a walking encyclopedia!" Sirius exclaimed with a whistle. Remus felt a blush rising. He liked to read. Since he had no friends after the bite, books had become his friends.

"Or it could have been the giant squid." James said with a grin. A fearful squeak came from the chubby boy behind him.

"His tentacles are capable of pulling our boats under with one swipe!" Sirius said with smirk eliciting another fearful sound from behind them. Remus rolled his eyes. He was just about to turn around to reassure the boy that the giant squid doesn't pull boats under when the cubby boy exclaimed:

"E-H guysss?!" There was a fearful note in his voice and Remus immediately realized why. The weight inside the boat was not distributed evenly and their boats tilted dangerously. Quickly, he turned towards James and Sirius trying to get them back on their seats and prevent their overturning. But the two of them were still leaning over the edge with mad grins on their faces. Remus sighed and prepared himself for an early bath.

oOo

With a loud splash they overturned. James felt something fishy brush past his right leg as he swam back to the surface. He took in huge gulp of air as soon as possible. His vision was distorted by the water droplets clinging to his glasses. He brushed his wet hair back. He could have prevented the overturning since he knew it was going to happen but where was the fun in that?

"You all right?" He asked Remus who broke the water's surface next to him. Remus pulled a grimace.

"Except that I just got my lungs filled with lake water, I'm perfectly fine." He may have said it with a huge amount of sarcasm but James saw the amused twitch of the corner of his mouth. James grinned broadly.

"Oy, Sirius, you still alive?" He hollered across the lake.

"Yeah!" Sirius exclaimed from the other side of the boat. James took a huge gulp of air before diving beneath the boat to the other side. He broke the water's surface next to Sirius who was just helping a petrified Peter towards the boat. Peter clung to the boat for dear life as soon as it was in reach. He was stealing nervous glances around as if he expected something to grab him and drag him under. James suppressed the snicker that wanted to break through. Remus reappeared on Sirius side. He had swum around the boat not wanting to dive again.

"Everyone's all right?" Remus asked as he swam to Peters side. All three of them nodded even though Peters nod was a little shaky.

James was just about to say something when he was pulled out of the water by a big hand. He came face to face with the barely illuminated face of Hagrid.

"Hi!" He said with a grin and a small wave. Hagrid just raised an eyebrow at him.

Somehow they managed to make it to the Boathouse. It may have involved an umbrella of which they were not allowed to speak of.

"I lost my shoe" Peter said dejectedly as he wiggled with his toes. James snickered. Peter would once again be the only student to be sorted with only one shoe.

"At least you don't have seaweed stuck everywhere!" Sirius exclaimed as he pulled some more of the green stuff out of his hair.

"I don't think they will notice. After all, the fact that we are all a dripping wet mess will capture their attention more than enough." Remus said as wringed out his clothes.

"Right, the award for wettest entrance to Hogwarts will most definitely go to us ... ehh. What was your name?" Sirius asked sheepishly.

"We didn't do introductions, yet?" James asked and he was honestly surprised. He had simply forgotten. After all he already knew each of their names. "Oh well, I'm James. Eleven years old like everyone else here. Quidditch fanatic and to 100% a Gryffindor!" James said with a small mock bow.

"Sirius. Age obvious. Rule ignorer and to 200% never in Slytherin!" Sirius said as he also bowed. James noticed that he had stiffened slightly. The nervousness of the sorting had started, it seemed.

"I'm P-Peter. ... ehhh to 50% a Hufflepuff..." Peter said sounding slightly unsure. James bit his lip to keep the angry snarl inside that wanted to escape inside. The rat was neither a Gryffindor, Huffelpuff, or Ravenclaw. Maybe not even a Slytherin. It was easier to see the man the boy would become in the future than seeing the boy he currently was. He was not supposed to forget that but it was so easy to resent him while knowing what he would do. James took a deep breath trying to erase the image overlapping with the current Peter.

"I'm Remus. Bookworm and probably a Ravenclaw." Remus voice had gotten soft towards the end and James just knew that he was dwelling on his furry little problem.

"Follow me!" Hagrid exclaimed. They left the boathouse and started ascending the stairs towards the castle. Sirius was walking next to him whereas Remus and Peter were trailing behind them. He saw how Sirius' expression become more closed off the closer they got to the castle.

"Don't worry. You're not going to end up in Slytherin." James whispered towards him.

"How can you be so sure?" It was the first time he let his anxiety bleed into his voice. James grinned.

"Trust me. I know."

oOo

**A.N.: First of all a huge thanks to MSupernatural for betaing this chapter. Thank you very much. **

**For those of you who have read my other fanfiction Revival of the past this chapter will seem really familiar. Well after all it is based on one of the flashbacks in Revival of the past. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are as always very much appreciated. **


	4. The sorting and a food fight

Chapter 4

The sorting and a food fight

Even though James had tried to reassure Sirius, he was still a ball of nervous energy as they waited in front of the doors to the great hall. The other two were not faring any better, though. Remus' fists were clenched and his eyes were wandering restlessly. Peter looked like he was about to faint. He had gone all green in the face, but at least it matched the seaweed that was stuck in his shirt collar. None of them had noticed it up till now and James had no urge to tell him about it either.

He seemed to be the only first year that was completely calm. Lily was biting her lips nervously and Snape was wearing a very stony expression. Alice was hobbling on her feet. As he saw her, he realized what he had forgotten to add to his list: Don't let Neville's parents lose their sanity through one the unforgivable curses. As he watched her, he was overcome with a new steely determination.

"And just what happened to you four?" James was pulled out of his thoughts by the voice of Professor Minerva McGonagall. She looked as strict and prober as ever. Only her face was more youthful and her hair had less grey in it. Just as with his friends and parents, he had to resist the urge to hug her for all she had done for Harry. She had also always been like a second mother to the Marauders.

All four of them looked slightly embarrassed, but also a little bit amused.

"We took a small dunk in the lake, Professor." James said with a sheepish smile and small shrug of his shoulder. She sighed and with a small wave of her wand dried them. But, again, she forgot to conjure another shoe for Peter.

"Thank you, Professor." All four of them chorused.

"All right. We are ready for you. Please follow me." She said as she turned around and opened the doors to the great hall. As all the other students were looking around the hall in awe, James was looking at the students sitting on the House tables. At first, he looked at the Hufflepuff table. The boy on the far right corner would break his leg during a Quidditch game against Ravenclaw, the girl next to him would become a healer at St. Mungos. The Hufflepuff girl next to her he recognized from a gruesome scene he wish he hadn't witnessed, she had died during a bloody Death Eater attack. He looked at the Ravenclaw table recognizing the faces of those that would die or fight alongside them or with Voldemort. He recognized the future Death Eaters that were sitting at the Slytherin table talking with laughs among themselves. A lot of these students would become murderers. Malfoy was talking with Rodolphus as he held hands with Narcissa. Bellatrix was cackling madly next to her.

She had been the one that had pushed Sirius through the veil, she had hurt his son and his friends. James' hand clenched around his wand, which he was holding hidden beneath his rope. He forcefully turned away and let his gaze travel over to the Gryffindor table. Most of the students sitting at his house table would fight against Voldemort and a lot of them would fall. He saw Frank sitting among the second year students laughing at something his colleague had said. It hurt him to think that calm and kind Frank would be driven to insanity by that scum.

"Milantha Aubrey." Professor McGonagall called and immediately the great hall fell silent. So silent that one would have heard the sound of a pen drop, in fact. James had been so lost in thought that he had overheard the song and Professor McGonagall's explanation of the ceremony. Oh well, he knew the ceremony already so it was no problem.

A black haired, pale skinned girl stepped forward and nervously took a seat. The sorting hat was put on her head. After few seconds of silence it exclaimed: "Ravenclaw!"

The table of the Ravenclaws exploded in applause. James joined and soon the other students yet to be sorted were clapping as well.

"Sirius Black!" The hall fell silent again and James could see that all the Slytherin students were looking at Sirius with something akin to certainty. They would learn just how wrong they were. Sirius was almost frozen next to him. James gave him a small push and slowly Sirius took a step forward to the sorting hat, a step towards Gryffindor.

oOo

He took a deep breath as he slowly walked towards the stool. He felt all eyes on him and he stole quick glance at James hoping that knowing who his family was would not put him off. James was grinning and holding two thumbs up. Sirius let out a breath of relief he hadn't lost his first friend. James was mouthing the word Gryffindor with a small wink. Sirius knew that getting into Gryffindor was almost a dream, after all, every single member of his family had been in Slytherin with a few exceptions. Some had been in Ravenclaw. He would be happy as long as he did not end up in Slytherin.

The last thing he saw before the hat slipped over his eyes was the grinning face of James.

'_Well, well certainly a different kind of Black',_ Sirius heard the voice of the sorting hat inside his head.

_'Don't put me in Slytherin. Not Slytherin. Anything but Slytherin' _Sirius thought over and over again.

_'Not Slytherin? Ah you want to be different from your family. But you have the potential to be someone great and Slytherin could make you into that.' _The hats voice whispered. The condemning tone the hat used irked him.

_'I. Don't. care! Don't you dare put me in Slytherin.' _Sirius thought angrily.

_'And what if I did?'_ Amusement was underlining the voice inside Sirius head.

_' I will turn you into a goldfish without a water bowl.'_ Sirius didn't know the spell for that but he would do it.

To his surprise the hat actually started to laugh out loud. A booming laugh that filled the great hall. The next thing Sirius knew was that the hat had cried: "Gryffindor!"

The hat was raised from his head. In a daze he got up and made his way over to the Gryffindor table, which was applauding and cheering loudly. They were pleased to have managed to turn a Black against his family house. He let himself flop down on the bench. As soon as he sat down, the older students started congratulating and clapping him on the back.

"Connor Davis!" McGonagall called. A blond haired boy timidly made his way over to the stool. It didn't take long for the Hat to shout: "Hufflepuff!"

He felt a cold stares filled with contempt upon his back. He turned around and saw his cousins glaring at him from the Slytherin table. Sirius stuck his tongue out towards them before turning back around.

"Lily Evans!" Sirius watched as the girl from the train made her way over to the stool. James' eyes were following her as well. She was no Slytherin material, no matter what her slimy friend said. It took a while but then the hat shouted "Gryffindor!"

She made her way over to the table with a huge grin on her face. As soon as she sat down, she started bombarding the upperclassman with questions. The next boy, Eduard Groath, was sorted into Slyhterin, the one after him, Samuel Hearth, became a Hufflepuff, whereas Dorothy Harper became a Slytherin as well. A girl with wild curly blond hair, Amanda Jackson, turned out to be a Ravenclaw.

"Remus Lupin!" McGonagall called. Remus slowly made his way towards the stool looking highly uncomfortable to be under the spotlight. Sirius kept his fingers crossed for Remus, hoping that he would end up in Gryffindor as well.

oOo

Remus had to remind himself to breath normally. A small part of him had still held onto the belief that all this was some joke and that his name wasn't on the list. As McGonagall had called his name, he had let out a small breath of relief before a new nervousness had settled over him.

Gently, he sat down on the stool. The hat felt slightly heavy as it sat on his head.

_'Ah a werewolf, haven't had one of you in many years.' _A voice whispered in his head. It took him a few seconds to realize that the voice was the sorting hat's. The meaning of his words sunk in and he felt ice freeze his veins. Fear enclosed his heart.

_'I won't tell. The things I see in a student's heart and head remain a secret."_ Remus let out a small breath of relief at the hat's words.

_'The issue is where to put you. Slytherin, you may have cunning side to you but you wouldn't be happy there.' _Remus had to agree with it. If the Slytherins ever found out about him being a werewolf they would have no qualms telling everyone and expelling him from Hogwarts if they gained something from it.

_'Hufflepuff is not your house. You certainly have a bright head on your shoulders, Ravenclaw could suit you but you see too much with your heart instead of your mind.' _The hat mused as Remus listened patiently. He had thought that Ravenclaw would suit him the best.

The hat fell silent and Remus started to worry again.

"Gryffindor!" The hat bellowed for all the students to hear. He hadn't expected to end up in Gryffindor. He was not courageous, he feared the full moon and really anything that concerned his transformations. He was not brave at all. Remus took the hat of before laying it on the stool.

The Gryffindor table was cheering loudly and he could hear Sirius loud and clear among them. His lips quirked into a small smile as he sat down next to Sirius, who clapped him so hard on the back that he nearly crashed face first into the table. Sirius was grinning madly at him.

Remus turned around as the rest of the students were sorted. He knew none of those students. James was still looking very relaxed whereas Peter couldn't seem to stand still.

They group of students yet to be sorted was shrinking significantly.

"Peter Pettigrew." She called. Finally it was Peter's turn. Peter stumbled over to the stool still with only one shoe. It was one of the few times where the hat didn't cover the student's eyes. Still, Peter's eyes were squeezed shut. It took the hat longer than with anybody else to announce his decision. Peter was constantly muttering soundlessly.

"Gryffindor!" The call resounded through the great hall as Peter let out a breath of relief. He stumbled over to them with a huge grin. Remus made room for him as he let himself flop down on the bench with a sigh of relief.

"James Potter!" McGonagall called next. James walked over to the stool confidently without any of the worries any of the other students had shown.

oOo

'_A Potter and an old soul' _The hat said inside his head. James grinned.

_'It's nice to see you too'_, James thought with a small chuckle.

_'Since you already seem to know everything, let's make this short and painless' _The hat said and before James could think anything else the Hat had shouted: "Gryffindor!"

James put the hat down with a pout. He had had the perfect prank or rather irritating discussion laid out and the sorting hat backs out. Maybe he had read in James mind what he had had planned and decided that it was better for his nerves to get it over and done with. With a grin, he sat down between Remus and Sirius. Sirius and James high fived.

"Severus Snape!" James didn't need to turn around to know that he had been sorted into Slytherin. He saw Lily's face fall slightly.

After the last students were sorted, Dumbledore rose from his seat and moved forward. He made his welcome speech and he warned them about the forbidden forest, the same old rule James and his friends would break over and over again. He sometimes thought he knew Hogwarts and the forbidden forest better than his house.

"Now, let the feast begin!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together and the tables became filled with food. James just realized just how hungry he was, but before he could start eating, the ghosts appeared. After a small chat with Sir Nicholas, he put a few roasted rosemary potatoes and a bit of the roasted chicken, a bit of the carrots and a bit of the roast beef on his plate.

"Evans. Can you hand me the mushrooms, please?" He asked Lily, who raised an eyebrow at his already relatively full plate but handed him the fried mushrooms without a comment. Lily seemed to be in a deep discussion with Alice about something or another. James guessed that it had something to do with school work or with the wonders of magic.

Sirius next to him was wolfing everything down with enthusiasm.

"Don't you have any table manners?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't care about table manners at the moment. After years of only eating Kreacher's horrible cooking, this is heaven!" Sirius exclaimed between bites. James chuckled whereas Remus still looked slightly confused.

"Horrible House-elf with even more horrible cooking skills." James stated before chewing on some mushrooms. Remus nodded before going back to his food. He looked to his right only to see that apparently Peter had no table manners as well. He let out a resigned sigh and continued eating. James chuckled as filled his goblet with more pumpkin juice.

"Can I have the jug next, please?" Lily asked politely while eyeing the mess Sirius and Peter were making with something akin to disgust. James nodded but instead of handing her the jug, he poured the pumpkin juice directly into her goblet.

"Thanks." She said with a smile and James nodded at her. Sirius made some undistinguishable noise around the food in his mouth.

"What was that?" James asked with a quirk of his lips and a raised eyebrow. "I heard swallowing before speaking is quite useful."

Sirius waved with his hand as if it didn't matter but he did swallow before talking. "You're acting awfully polite. May I inquire as to why?" A sly grin was making his way onto Sirius face. James groaned. It seemed like the teasing about Lily would start very early this time around. Last time it had only started in second year, and, by third year, teasing James about Lily had become a daily constant of the marauders. James shook his head. When Sirius smirk got wider and he was about to make an embarrassing comment James did the only thing he could do to prevent it. He stepped hard onto Sirius foot.

"Ouch!" Sirius exclaimed before glaring at James. "Oh, you're so going to pay for that!" Sirius grabbed a bit of mashed potatoes and threw them at James, who managed to evade at the last minute. The mashed potatoes hit Peter on the ear. Remus, who had kept an eye on the two of them, had managed to evade as well by leaning backwards.

"Missed me!" James said as he stuck his tongue out.

"I won't miss this time!" Sirius said as he grabbed a bit of yorkshire pudding. James used an empty plate as a shield. The pudding, for some odd reason, pounced of the plate and hit a third year student in the face. From then on, absolute chaos ensured. The third year student took a spoon and loaded it with ketchup. The red projectile hit the student next to Sirius on top of the head. She retaliated by throwing boiled potatoes. In the end a food fight broke out on the Gryffindor table. McGonagall was already seeing red when a projectile in the form of yorkshire pudding hit a Hufflpuff student. From then on there was no stopping the food fight. All four houses started throwing food at each other. It had become an all-out war.

James laughed as threw more mashed potatoes at Frank, who was grinning before throwing a piece of roasted chicken at another person.

The only reason it ended was because Professor McGonagall exploded. After that, dessert was a more subdued event. James was cleaning his glasses from the ketchup whereas Sirius tried to get rid of the peas that got entangled in his hair. Yet whenever James and Sirius met eyes, they started snickering. Remus was rolling his eyes at them but he had an amused twinkle in his eyes as he plucked the carrots from his hair. Peter was chuckling quietly as he put more of the dessert on his plate. The fact that he had a bit of Yorkshire pudding in his hair didn't seem to bother him.

All in all, James felt that it as a wonderful start to the term.

oOo

**A.N.: Well, here is another one. I know that Bellatrix went to Hogwarts from ca. 1962 to 1970 but I couldn't resist putting her in Hogwarts while the marauders are there, at least they will only have to bear with her for a year. The thing that bloody frustrated me was the fact that Alice Longbottoms maiden name can't be found and I dislike creating last names for original character. So whenever somebody calls her it will be without last name or there will be ? written. **

**So Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are as always welcome.**


	5. Shortcuts and friendly banter

Chapter 5

Shortcuts and friendly banter

"First years, follow me!" The perfect, Daniel Trey, shouted at the head of the group of first years. James could distinctly remember him ducking a lot of points from his own house because of the Marauders. Well, he wouldn't have more luck the second time around. Gryffindor was still going to lose a lot of points, James thought without remorse.

"No dawdling!" He called and James choked on the laugh that wanted to escape him. He sounded like Percy back when he had escorted Harry to Gryffindor tower, which made James have the sneaking suspicion that all Perfects were briefed on saying '_no dawdling_' when escorting the first years. The briefing seemed to have stayed the same for over twenty years. That really was not very innovative. Sirius, who was walking next to him, raised an eyebrow at James choked laugh that sounded more like an extremely weird cough. His eyes were clearly saying '_do I want to know what that was?_', and it only made James want to laugh all the more.

To top it off the perfect was taking the long way, all the way through half of Hogwarts. Percy had been faster at getting Harry and his friends to Gryffindor Tower than Daniel, who had started droning on and on about the history of Hogwarts. Lily was listening fascinated, even though she had probably read it all in the same book Hermione had read. Not probably but certainly, James decided as she corrected the perfect on something he had gotten wrong.

"Boring." Sirius whispered at that moment quietly to James. He nodded in response. An idea came to his mind.

"Want to take a short-cut?" James asked with a sly grin. They were the last of the students and Remus and Peter were in front of them. "Dad told me about one." James added. It would have seemed strange if he knew the way otherwise.

"Why not?" Sirius answered with a small smirk. The two of them made sure that no one was watching them before sneaking away.

oOo

"What do you think, James?" Remus asked as he looked over his shoulder to come face to face with nothing but empty air. James and Sirius were gone.

Remus suppressed a groan. Just great, James and Sirius had disappeared. They were lost somewhere in this huge castle.

"Peter, I think we have a problem." Remus said as he turned towards the boy beside him. Peter also looked over his shoulder before a small worried frown graced his features.

"That we most definitely have." Peter stated. The two of them made their forward to Daniel ignoring their new housemates annoyed mutters as they pushed towards the front.

"We've lost James and Sirius." Remus informed the perfect.

"They've disappeared." Peter added. The Perfect blinked slowly as his brain tried to process the information.

"What do you mean?" The perfect asked disbelievingly. From his shocked expression Remus guessed that this was the first time first-year students had gotten lost on the way to Gryffindor tower under the watchful eyes of a perfect.

"They disappeared, as in, they are no longer here." Remus said slightly irritated. "They are gone" he said as he pointed at the empty space were James and Sirius had been.

Slightly stupefied, the perfect started counting the students that had been following him. He paled as he realized that there were only eight instead of ten, his gaze starting to travel hastily around the corridor but there was no sign of the two missing students. The perfect took a deep breath trying to calm down to think of a way to find the wayward students.

"Since when have they've been missing?" He asked Remus after a he had thought the matter over. Peter and Remus exchanged a look.

"No idea." Their answer made Daniel sigh.

"All right, let's get you guys to Gryffindor Tower. I will look for the two after I dropped you guys off." He decided before they started moving once more. If he went to look for the two of them with the eight first years, he would likely lose some more students.

This time, their pace was a lot faster. The information about Hogwarts castle had stopped as Daniel walked in tense silence. Remus and Peter, who had been nearly last in the line at the beginning, were now walking directly behind Daniel. Lily and Alice, who had been the first in line before the disappearance, were walking behind them. Lily had a small frown on her face.

"Careful now that everybody is on the stairs. They change directions from time to time, we don't want to lose anyone else!" Daniel said as the students descended the stairs. They made their way through Hogwarts till they finally seemed to have reached their destination. Daniel stopped walking suddenly, so suddenly that Remus and Peter nearly walked into him. On the wall next to the portrait of a rather corpulent lady, Sirius and James were leaning with wide grins.

They were covered in spider webs and dust but it didn't seem to bother them.

"Where were you guys?" Peter asked before Daniel had a chance to recover.

"I accidently leaned against the entrance of a secret passage." James answered with sheepish smile.

"He fell through a portrait." Sirius stated with a broad grin.

"Yeah, well, you were the one that followed me through." James said as he plucked a small spider off his shoulder.

"Should I just have left you in there?" Sirius asked with playful smirk. James rolled his eyes at him.

"Anyways, when we managed to get back out of the secret passage you guys were gone." James continued.

"We asked the portraits for directions." Sirius added. Remus looked from one to the other something seemed off about their story and when the two of them sent him innocent grins, he knew that something was most definitely up. The perfect just let out a breath of relief, happy that he didn't have to search for the two of them.

With the words _'aureus animus_' the portrait of the fat lady moved aside and let the new students inside.

"The left door leads to the boys' dormitories and the right to the girls'. The girls' staircase is enchanted so that no boy can go up there." Daniel informed them before he left them to it. He sat down on the couch in the common room with a small relieved sigh.

Remus, Sirius, James and Peter eagerly ascended the stairs and made their way towards their room. Sirius and James jumped onto the next best bed with a laugh. Remus rolled his eyes as he sat down on the bed closest to the bathroom. Peter chose the bed near the door to the hallway.

"Alright, out with it. Where were you guys?" Remus asked as he pulled his pajamas from his trunk.

"We told you." Sirius said with an air of innocence while he fiddled with his wand.

"And I don't believe that story" Remus stated plainly.

"Aw don't you trust us, Remy?" James asked in a slightly muffled voice as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"Don't call me, Remy." Remus protested weakly. He didn't answer the question. He didn't know if he could trust them. He had after all only known them for a day. And most of all he could never entrust anyone with his secret.

"Now we will definitely call you Remy!" Sirius exclaimed with a laugh. Remus sighed. He should have kept his mouth shut. He had the sneaking suspicion that it would take more than a lifetime to get rid of the nickname.

"So were you guys telling the truth or not?" A slightly confused Peter asked as he struggled to get rid of his socks.

"Both." James and Sirius answered. They shared a quick smirk before James made his way over to the bathroom. "Dad told me about a secret passage." James called from inside the bathroom. "A shortcut to Gryffindor Tower."

"A shortcut behind a portrait. As I said, he fell through a portrait." Sirius said with a sly grin. A muffled reply could be heard from inside the bathroom. "He was checking for a way to open the passage when he just simply fell through it. His stumped expression was priceless." Sirius snickered.

"Mhmhmm mmhm!" James unintelligible protest could be heard as his head appeared in the doorway to the bathroom. He had his toothbrush in his mouth and toothpaste was clinging to his lips as he glared at Sirius, who just sent him an innocent little grin. "Mhmmh mhm mmhm nhm mhnnm!" James protested again.

"Maybe you should finish brushing your teeth before trying to argue with Sirius?" Remus asked with an amused quirk on his lips. Peter snickered and Sirius grin broadened. James sent him a look that spelled something along the lines of traitor before disappearing inside the bathroom once more.

Not even a moment later, James stepped back into the room with a scarlet towel hanging over his shoulders.

"As I was saying, Sirius' expression was way more amusing. He nearly had a panic attack when I disappeared into the portrait." James said with a smirk as he flung the towel into his trunk.

"I did not have a panic attack!" Sirius' reply was just on the right side of indignant. Peter snickered quietly as he made his way into the bathroom. James smirked.

"James!" He squealed in what Remus assumed was supposed to be Sirius' voice during the moment he fell through the portrait.

"Oh Shut it, Jamsie!" Sirius exclaimed with a glare as he grabbed the next best projectile, a cushion, and threw it a James. He evaded gracefully by stepping to the side.

"Missed me!" James stuck his tongue out at Sirius. Remus had a feeling of déjà vu. The food fight had started in nearly the same manner. He suspected the evening would end with a pillow war. Sirius grabbed the next best pillow he could reach and threw it at James, who caught it midair to throw it back towards Sirius.

When Peter stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later he was greeted by a pillow to the face. Remus had given up trying to read his book after he had been hit by the third stray pillow (which wasn't stray at all) and was currently just trying not to get hit by the fluffy projectiles.

He took his chance to escape the pillow war zone and locked himself inside the bathroom. He stripped out of his clothes causing his expression to darken when he looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His thin and frail looking body was covered by thick scars. In fact, his whole body was a map of scar tissue. He would never be able to change in front of the others without raising unwanted questions. His reflection managed to drain away the simple happiness he had felt. He was a monster, a monster that pretended to still be human, a skin-clad wolf. He forcefully turned his eyes away from his reflection.

oOo

James frowned slightly as he watched Remus disappear inside the bathroom with his pajamas. He evaded the pillow a yawning Peter threw easily. He had forgotten that Remus always changed somewhere hidden so that no one saw the scars that littered his body. He had forgotten it because after they had found out Remus slowly started to stop worrying about his scars. At some point he had gotten comfortable to run around shirtless with them just like he and Sirius. Remus' fear and anxiousness had lessened largely over the years they had been friends, and this time it would be the same way again. Maybe even more so since he would not allow the willow incident from happening again.

He was so distracted with his thoughts that he didn't register Sirius next attack till it was too late. Sirius tackled him hard and they both collapsed on the bed in heap of arms and legs.

"Got ya!" Sirius said with broad grin and James couldn't help the lump that built inside his throat. This was the way Sirius was supposed to look, laughter illuminating his eyes a teasing smirk on his lips. He should never have lost his joy to those Dementors. The thirty-year-old Sirius should have been able to laugh just as much as his eleven year old self.

He wasn't supposed to cry till his tears had dried up and scream till he lost his voice.

He wasn't supposed to beg for his death instead of endless torment of his worst memories. He wasn't supposed to be tormented by James' death.

Sirius wasn't supposed to end up in a cold lonely cell in Azkaban. He wasn't supposed to starve.

Sirius was supposed to laugh and live freely, not behind bars.

He wasn't supposed to nearly lose himself.

"James?" When James failed to answer a worried undertone entered Sirius voice. James mind was caught inside memories of pain, of being unable to help.

"James, what's wrong?" The open worry that was bleeding in Sirius' anxious voice snapped James out of the screams resounding inside a cell of the future. He blinked up at Sirius. He had to blink repeatedly to clear his vision from the unshed tears that had gathered in his eyes. Sirius' worried face was looking down at him. James took a deep breath trying to banish the images of invisibly sitting next to Sirius as he slowly lost more and more parts of himself. He needed to banish them but never forget them; they were one of the fuels needed for changing the future.

"James?" Sirius asked again but the anxiousness in his voice had lessened.

"I'm fine, Sirius." James tried to smile but he doubted that it looked right.

"Bullshit!" Sirius exclaimed angrily surprising James. "You're not fine! Your eyes looked hollow and empty like you weren't in there!" A barely noticeable shiver ran down Sirius' spine. With a start James realized that he had been afraid. The fear had turned into anger.

"I'm fine." This time a soft sincere smile graced his lips. "It was just-" James took a slightly shaky breath. "Just a memory."

Sirius eyed him suspiciously for a minute or two. He was saved from elaborating when Remus stepped back out of the bathroom.

"What time is it?" Remus asked as he dried his wet hair with a towel.

"Too late to still be awake." Peter muttered from his bed on which he had collapsed after the pillow fight had been finished.

"We should probably go to bed." Remus was as always the voice of reason. Sirius glanced at James suspiciously once more before he went into the bathroom. James let out a small breath of relief. Peter was out like a light the minute he was wrapped into his blanket. Remus pulled the curtains close with a whispered good night.

James lay down when he heard the bathroom door open. The blanket pulled up till his chin listening to the sounds of his friends. Peters gentle snores, Remus soft breaths and Sirius muttering curses as he stumbled around in the dark to find his bed. He heard Sirius slip beneath the blanket. His deep and even breaths soon joined Peter and Remus. They were like the notes of a lullaby to James. The only notes missing were Lily's and Harry's, he thought faintly before sleep claimed him as well

oOo

**A.N.: First of all I would like to apologize for taking so long to update. I had and still have a writing block. So writing is currently slow ... slower than slow. Which is also the reason why the revival of the past chapter will take a while longer to be finished. And the start of my classes is coming closer and closer additionally I'm currently running around like a headless chicken from one appointment, seminar and birthday party to the next all the while trying to juggle work and university stuff. So once again I'm sorry for the delay. Also in case you haven't noticed I like to keep the pace relatively slow, I love developing story and character at a pace where there is no rush towards the end of the story. So this fanfic will probably turn out to be a longer one than even I'm expecting. That concludes my longest author note yet ^^'**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are as always welcome. **


	6. Burning Howler and a Tabby Cat

Chapter 6

Burning Howler and a Tabby cat

"Did ya' have to dump water on me?" Sirius grumbled as they walked down the corridor towards the Great Hall. This morning, Sirius had suffered a horrible way to wake up, and considering he had been woken up by his mother and Kreacher for the last 11 years, that was saying something, for sure. He was dreaming quite peacefully and was forcefully and rudely woken up by a douse of cold water being thrown at him. After cursing his friends with some colourful words, he only calmed down when Remus managed to dry his hair.

"You weren't waking up." James answered with a small smirk.

"Still, did it have to be a cold shower?" Sirius whined.

"You weren't reacting to us screaming into your ear." James said with a small shrug of his shoulders. "By the way, I think you should clean them. Your ears, I mean. There seems to be all kind of stuff stuck in there to prevent you from hearing."

Sirius sent him a dark look and shoved him with his shoulder as James laughed.

"And you guys, why didn't you stop him?" Sirius asked darkly as he turned towards Remus and Peter.

"You weren't waking up any other way." Peter said with a small smile and a shrug of his shoulders. "Be happy that he didn't push you out of your bed like he did with me."

"And I doubt we could have managed to stop James anyways." Remus added.

"Well, you could have tried to." Sirius said as he crossed his arms with a pout.

"Aww poor Siripoo." James said as he patted Sirius' head. Sirius glared at James but there was no real heat in it. He was drinking in the teasing and laughter like a sponge, feeling truly at ease with who he was for the first time in his life.

The Great Hall was already filled with students eating breakfast when they entered it, but the four friends still managed to find a spot for themselves at the end of the Gryffindor table, a spot that was pretty close to the professors, much to Sirius' discomfort. Slowly, way slower than normal, they started eating.

"Hand me the scrambled eggs, please?" James asked as he piled sausages on his plate. Sirius, who was chewing his fried egg, handed him the plate after he had taken some of the scrambled egg for himself. His plate was already filled with food, making Remus just shake his head at the amount of food.

"Where's the pumpkin juice?" Peter asked as he searched the table for the jug. His plate had even more food than Sirius' on it. Peter was as good as inhaling the food on the table.

"Evans! Can you hand the jug pumpkin juice over... please?" James called. He added the please as if it was an afterthought. Sirius was fascinated. He had known James for not even a day and he could already notice that his behavior around Lily Evans was different than usual. He acted more polite, it was as if he was walking on egg shells around her. As if he feared some huge explosion of some kind and at the same time he had this ridiculous besotted expression on his face. It was the perfect teasing material of all teasing materials Sirius would probably ever find.

Evans looked at James with a raised eyebrow but handed the jug over without comment. James thanked her before handing the jug to Peter. Sirius glanced over to Remus who was watching James with a raised eyebrow. It seemed that he was not the only one who had noticed it. He sent Remus an impish grin before turning towards James to tease him. He opened his mouth to start his merciless tease but never got to say anything when somebody cleared their throat behind him.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew." It was Professor Minerva McGonagall and Sirius had the urge to proclaim that he was innocent even though he had done nothing that would suggest otherwise, yet. He had no illusions that they would probably get into trouble more often than not, which was just the way he liked it.

"Your timetables." She said as she handed the papers out to them. "You will be in my class during the second period and I expect all of you to be on time." Her stern gaze made him twitchy.

"Aye, aye ma'am!" James and Sirius exclaimed at the same time, both of them even saluting. Sirius grinned at James. The professor just looked at them dryly, one of her eyebrows arched high but otherwise she gave no indication to having heard them.

"Mr. Lupin." Her gaze softened as she turned towards Remus, whose grip on his glass of pumpkin juice was tight. "Professor Dumbledore requests your presence in his office after my class." With those words she left them and continued to hand out the timetables to the rest of the first years.

"What did you do?" Sirius asked Remus with a raised eyebrow. "To have to go to Dumbledore's office on the first day?"

"Nothing." Remus said tensely with shrug of his shoulders.

"Do you know why he wants you in his office?" Peter asked as he paused eating for a moment. Again Remus shrugged with his shoulders and shook his head but he stabbed the tomato on his plate a little more forcefully, a clear a sign that he wanted them to stop prying. Still Sirius knew when there was a secret. He would figure it out eventually.

"Today we have charms with the Hufflepuffs and Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws." James said absently as he looked at their timetable.

"Just a simple question, does anyone of us know the way to said classrooms?" Peter asked after a moment of silence.

"I've got a general idea where they are." James said after a moment but before Sirius could ask how he knew that the distinct sound of flapping wings could be heard. The post was arriving.

Sirius blood ran cold as he saw the familiar owl of his father fly towards him a red envelope clutched in its claws. His head whipped towards the Slytherin table, where he saw Narcissa and Bellatrix smirking broadly. Those bloody cousins of his had probably immediately sent a letter to his parents after the sorting.

The large black owl, the irony of it being black was not lost to Sirius even in the face of a howler, dropped the howler in his lap before flying away with on indignant hoot. Sirius stared at letter in his lap as if it was time bomb, which in a way it was.

"Open it. Waiting will only make it worse." Remus said with a small wince.

"I already know what it will scream." Sirius muttered darkly as he dropped the letter onto his plate. His appétit was most definitely gone now. He ripped the envelope open as quickly as possible, like ripping a bandage off.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK-!"

"Hello to you too, mother." Sirius muttered darkly. He could hear the snickers of the Slytherin table from the other side of the room.

"HOW DARE YOU?! HAVE YOU NOT DISGRACED THE NAME OF OUR FAMILY MORE THAN ENOUGH?! TO LET YOURSELF BE SORTED INTO THAT SHAMEFUL HOUSE! A HOUSE FULL OF MUDBLOODS AND BLOODTRAITORS! DRAGGING THE NAME OF THE MOST ANCIENT AND NOBEL HOUSE OF BLACK THROUGH THE MUD! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU'RE NOT MY SON ! NO SON OF MINE IS A MUDBLOOD LOVER! YOU WILL NOT BECOME ONE OF THEM!" Sirius hands were clenched into fists as he tried to even out his breathing. The words would have ripped him apart once upon a time when he had been younger, but now he was used to his mother's hatred and disappointment so they only infuriated him.

"STAY AWAY FROM THOSE FREAKS! THEY DIRTEN OUR PURE BLOOD! DON'T YOU DARE BRING MORE SHAME TO OUR NAME!" Anger was cursing through his veins. He looked up startled when he felt James feet nudge his. James had pulled his wand and was currently pointing it at the still raging howler. He made a small movement and the next thing Sirius knew the Howler burst into flames. An explosive flame enveloped the Howler, a flame nearly as long as his arm. It was a beautiful, artistic sight, but his mother's voice continued to screech.

"Huh" James said as he looked at his wand, it was most definitely not what he had wanted to achieve. Limiting his range of spells and curses to those of a first year was definitely not easy, but he couldn't go around using seventh year spells when he hadn't been at Hogwarts for more than a day.

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF SUCH DISGRACEFUL BEHAVIOUR! WE WILL DISOWN YOU! IF YOU SO MUCH AS MOVE A TOE OUT OF LINE YOU ARE NO LONGER MY SON-" The burning letter continued to scream in his mother's voice.

"Remus, can you hand me the pumpkin juice?" James asked calmly as if there wasn't a burning howler on the table. If Sirius hadn't still been screamed at by his mother, he would have laughed at Remus' stumped expression. Upon seeing that Remus had frozen, Peter handed James the jug, which James promptly emptied on the still burning letter. His mother's voice made some weird gurgling sound as she tried to continue screeching. At least now her words were no longer distinguishable.

"Is there anything that can shut your mother up?" James asked with a raised eyebrow as he poked the still screeching letter with the tip of his wand.

"Not that I know of." Sirius muttered darkly.

"Anyone here know a silencing charm?" James bellowed at the top of his lungs trying to drown out the undistinguishable screeching of Sirius' mother. He wanted nothing more than use a well-placed silencing charm on the letter, but again he decided against overusing his previous knowledge.

"I can try it." Remus said as he pulled his own wand. There was a gleam in his eyes that clearly spelled that he would gladly do it.

"Silencio!" It didn't surprise Sirius all that much that Remus could perform a fifth year spell on the first try. A self-satisfied smirk was gracing Remus features as the letter finally fell silent. Sirius let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Behind him the Slytherin table burst into spiteful laughter, causing Sirius' spine to stiffen.

"Ignore them." Peter whispered. James was glaring darkly at the Slytherin table, and even Remus was glaring at them. Had Sirius not looked at James at that moment he would have missed the subtle movement of his wand and that he had muttered something under his breath.

The sound of wood breaking filled the Great Hall and the tumbling as all the Slytherin students landed on the floor could be heard. The legs of their benches had broken. Confused, Slytherin students were sitting on the floor not knowing how they ended up there whereas the rest of the Great Hall burst into laughter.

"Well, it seems as if even their benches could not hold the weight of their meanness." James said with a small smirk. Peter was chuckling next to him and Remus tried to keep a straight face but failed miserably. Sirius joined in the laughter that filled the great hall. Even with his mother's angry howler he felt lighter than he had felt ever before in his life.

oOo

James was bored. Like seriously bored. He had nothing against charms but it was so freaking boring, and now that he knew every single one of those charms by heart, it had only gotten worse. He had to resist poking his feather with his wand out of boredom. He knew what happened when poking his feather and he actually wanted to do it, just to cause some distraction, but he decided against it. Professor Flitwick was repeating the wand movement for Wingardium Leviosa or what felt like the eleventh millionth time. It could even be the twelfth millionth time. He would have loved not to make the movement with the rest of the class but that would have become slightly suspicious so he dutifully preformed the movement.

Peter, who was sitting next to him, was listening attentively.

Finally, after what felt like forever they were allowed to perform the charm on their feathers. James didn't perform his charm immediately after all he did not want to disturb someone's first achievement.

"Ohhhh! Look the first person succeeded!" Professor Flitwick's voice exclaimed sounding delighted. James smiled he knew without looking who it was.

"Wonderful, Ms. Evans!" Lily's smile widened under the professors praise as she watched he feather float towards the ceiling with a delighted expression. "Five points to Gryffindor!"

"Wingradium Leviosa!" Peter exclaimed but his feather did not move even a millimeter. His wrong pronunciation didn't go amiss, as Remus quickly corrected him.

"Wingardium Leviosa" James said the spell and preformed the wand movement with practiced ease. His feather rose steadily into the air.

"Ohhh! Another one! Good job, Mr. Potter!" Professor Flitwick praised. "Another five points for Gryffindor! What a wonderful group of Gryffindors we have this year!" Sirius, who sat behind him, clapped him on the shoulder with a broad grin.

James somehow survived the lesson, even though he didn't quite remember how he managed it without dying of boredom. Sirius and Remus had been the next ones to manage to make their feathers float, after having James '_success'_ as motivation to try hard. James and Sirius had started a mock duel with their floating feathers, but Peter still hadn't managed to make his float enough. James had tried to help him but even then he had only managed to let his feather float a few millimeters above the ground.

James sincerely hoped that Transfiguration was at least a little bit more interesting. But considering how good (and consequently, bored) he had been even in his first time around, he hadn't high expectations.

oOo

Lily had already put her stuff neatly on the table, a beginner's guide to transfigurations lying open in front of her. She had obviously read the book in her free time before Hogwarts started. She had in fact literally swallowed all her school books up. Magical knowledge fascinated her. After a successful first lesson in charms she couldn't wait to start with transfiguration. Charms and transfigurations were lessons that really interested her… Who was she kidding, she was looking forward to every single bloody lesson. Well, maybe flying not so much. She felt slightly queasy when thinking about flying.

The classroom was slowly filling with students. Potter and his friends made their way inside and chose the tables in the last row behind her. They were laughing and teasing each other and they were quite loud. After the feather fight in the middle of charms, which hadn't even earned them a scolding because Flitwick had been so impressed with their control over the feathers, she was slightly miffed with them. Well, more with Potter and Black than with Lupin and Pettigrew. She could hear them talking loudly behind her. There was still no professor present only a tabby cat was sitting on the desk watching the students with keen eyes.

"Leave the cat alone, Sirius!" She heard Potter exclaim behind her. At least he seemed to have a sliver some common sense in him.

"Why?" Black asked and she bet he was pouting. It seemed that the incident at breakfast had already slipped his mind. She couldn't help but feel glad. She also never wanted to meet Ms. Black. Alone hearing her howler was more than enough.

"Why? Well, because the cat is an animagus and she is our professor, you idiot." Potter said as he tried to whisper but still his words carried across the whole room. For some reason, he slapped himself on his forehead, which Lily obviously found strange. The cat jumped down from the table and turned into their Professor McGonagall. The students stared at her in silent awe before exited chatter and clapping started breaking out.

"Thank you." Professor McGonagall said dryly. After a few seconds complete silence reigned in the room. "First of all I do not tolerate any sort of drivel in my classroom." She sent a meaning full look around the classroom.

"Secondly I do not tolerate laziness. Transfiguration is very hard work. You have to get each spell exactly right in order for the transfiguration to be successful. Therefore Transfiguration is one of the more scientific forms of magic... unlike Divination, for example." A small frown of displeasure graced her features. Lily was listening attentively, nearly sitting on the edge of her seat. She frowned when she heard Potter try to suppress a snicker behind her.

"Mr. Potter!" Lily felt a small amount of satisfaction that Potter had been called out on his behavior.

"Yes, professor McGonagall?" Potter sounded absolutely unfazed, which irked Lily slightly.

"After you have giggled more than enough with Mr. Black could you enlighten us about the four branches of transfiguration?" Lily had an idea of the answer. It was written in their book but she doubted that Potter had read it, much less understood it, considering she herself had read it quite a few times but still hadn't grasped the concept fully. Lily turned around to watch Potter.

"Of course I can." Potter answered with small shrug of his shoulders. "The first branch is Transformation which consist of three sub-types namely Human Transfiguration, Switching and Trans-species Transformations. The sub-types can overlap in certain areas. The second branch is called Vanishment, to make things, as the name suggests, vanish. The third branch is Conjuration, which is the opposite of Vanishment, obviously. And the last branch the fourth branch is Untransfiguration." Potter stated simply. Lily stared at him baffled like the rest of the class.

"Correct Mr. Potter. Six points for Gryffindor" Professor McGonagall was smiling if one squinted. "Even if you know the answers, please refrain from disturbing the lesson. The same goes for Mr. Black."

"Yes, Professor." Both boys answered as Black high fived Potter. Lily turned back around with a slight huff.

Professor McGonagall started writing on the blackboard and students hastily pulled out ink and parchment to take notes. Lily pushed Potter to the back of her mind as she wrote down the complicate notes.

After they were finished taking notes, she started handing out matches to the students, which they were supposed to turn into needles. She had shown them the wand movement and everything. Lily's match failed to show even the slightest change. The rest of the students didn't fare any better as it seemed, and she saw that Potter hadn't even tried yet, as he was reading some kind of book. She focused back on her match, and, after some more tries, if she looked really closely, her match started to appear slightly silver. She was tired already, though, as that had only been after about thirty tries at changing the stubborn thing.

"Ah Mr. Potter, let me see." Professor McGonagall walked past Lily to the back. Lily turned around to look behind her. Professor McGonagall picked up his match, which was no longer a match but a perfect needle.

"Excellent job, Mr. Potter! Eighteen points to Gryffindor. Hardly any first year manages to turn it into a needle during the first lesson, and I haven't seen one who managed to do so so perfectly." Professor McGonagall praised. She took the needle to the front of the room and proudly showed it to the class. Lily made an annoyed noise at the fact that Potter was better than her as she turned back to her own match and tried to turn it into a needle a few more times.

oOo

**A.N.: Thank you so much for the reviews up till now and I hope you continue to enjoy it. **


	7. Full moon howls and a Troll

Chapter 7

Full moon howls and a Troll

James was proud of himself. The potion class on Friday had not ended in disaster, even though it had been a close call. Potions with the Slytherins was, to say the least, always stressful.

He had had to keep an eye on Sirius for most of the lesson, and having Snape and Lily two rows in front of them had not helped at all. James had somehow managed to distract his best friend enough for Sirius not to make a single degrading comment towards Snape, even though the greasy git had made a comment that sounded suspiciously like the one he had made on the train. James had ignored it and Sirius had luckily overheard it since at the moment Alice's potion had done some strange noise, something it most definitely was not supposed to do. It had sounded like the potion had let loose a fart in a way, which amused Sirius, Remus, Peter and him greatly. Alice hadn't found it as funny and had gone red before cursing her faulty potion in a fairly colourful language that Neville probably didn't know about and probably shouldn't know about, which obviously just made the boys laugh more. It seemed his mother was not a very big fan of potions either. Slughorn had fretted for a while before they had gone back to work. The rest of the day had thankfully been fairly uneventful. If Peter falling into the lake pulling Sirius along could be counted as uneventful, that is.

Saturday had passed in the blink of an eye. They had spent the day with a bit of exploring. Well, that was a lie. They had spent the day with loads of exploring. It was actually all they had done Saturday. Remus had grumbled something about homework quite a few times but no one had listened to him as usual. They had walked through the castle that would become their home for the next seven years with awe etched across their features. It is not as if James didn't already know every single stone and its underside of course, but he had still enjoyed the exploration of the castle just as much as his friends. It had felt good to be so carefree and to see all of his friends laughing.

It was finally, but sadly, Sunday evening. The four of them were lying sprawled across the Common Room. They had made Remus sit on the couch after they had noted how pale he had become.

After a huge amount of pestering from Sirius, Remus had even conceded that he had a headache. James knew that it was not all that was currently bothering Remus' mind and body, though, as tonight was the full moon and it was Remus' first full moon at Hogwarts. James bet that Remus was also feeling nauseous and that probably every bone in his body hurt, even if the only sign of his discomfort was his pale complexion. James had managed to wrap Remus into a blanket without getting his head bitten off by the disgruntled werewolf. He knew that Remus considered himself slightly allergic to mothering, but it had ever stopped any of the marauders from mothering him. Today however he was only glared at as Remus grudgingly huddled deeper into the blanket. Peter had gone to the kitchen to get all of them some cups of hot chocolate, even though it was in the middle of summer.

Hot chocolate always managed to soothe Remus and it had worked this time as well. The empty mugs were sitting on the coffee table and Sirius and Peter were currently sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace engaging in a fierce battle of wizard chess. James had tried to warn Peter about Sirius' cheating tactics but Sirius had quickly managed to shut him up with a cushion to the face. So much for his effort to help Peter not lose in a pathetic way…

He left them to their game and leaned against the couch as lay sprawled on the floor, an open Quidditch magazine lying in his lap but he wasn't reading it. He was watching Remus, who was staring into the flames with a blank expression on his face. He knew that Remus was afraid, he could see it in the tight grip Remus had on the blanket and in the way he was clenching his jaw. He wanted to help and relieve his pain but he couldn't. He was not yet an official animagus. Or as official as he had been, that is. So he would have to resort to what they had always done before they could turn into animals. He would sit beneath the trapdoor tonight listening to Remus screams of agony and angry howls. He shuddered as he thought of spending the night there without either Sirius or even Peter by his side but he wouldn't let Remus be alone when he went through the pain of the transformation.

He turned his head towards the portrait hole as he heard the sound of it being swung open. Professor McGonagall was here to take Remus to Madam Pomfrey. She had only done this the first time. In his mind a mantra of 'don't call her _Minnie_' started playing repeatedly.

"Good evening, professor!" The four boys chorused and James congratulated himself mentally for not calling her Minnie. With a small snicker, James noted how Sirius sat up a little straighter. She nodded at them once before turning towards Remus.

"We received note that your mother's condition has worsened." McGonagall's expression softened slightly as she said the lie. Nothing gave her away and James would have believed her had he not known the truth. Sirius and Peter head whipped towards Remus with worried expressions on their faces.

"C-can I visit her?" Remus voice sounded slightly strangled as he asked the question. He was tapping his foot nervously, a clear sign that he was telling a lie.

"Your father requested your presence, so yes, you may visit her. Actually you may visit her right now." She answered smoothly. Instead of getting up and following McGonagall out of the portrait hole he sat there completely frozen.

"Go." James nudged Remus softly. Remus guilt ridden gaze snapped towards James. He knew that he felt guilty about lying to them. "Go to your mum. We will take notes if you're still not back tomorrow."

"If you can read Peters scrawl!" Sirius exclaimed trying to lighten the mood.

"Oy, your writing is just as worse as mine!" Peter protested.

"It's all right, so go to her and tell your mum to get well soon." James said as he nudged Remus again. The other two nodded along. With one last guilty look towards them, Remus followed McGonagall out of the portray hole.

oOo

Remus silently followed Professor McGonagall through the deserted hallways of Hogwarts. He had hated lying to his new friends. He bloody hated it. He didn't know how he would do it for the next few months or for the next seven years. Especially when he had seen the worry in his friends' eyes for his mother, which was perfectly healthy if slightly overworked.

Professor McGonagall knocked softly on the door of what Remus suspected was the Hospital Wing. She opened the door with a small creak that might have as well been a shout in the silence.

"Poppy?" She called into the seemingly empty hospital wing.

"One moment, Minerva!" A voice called from inside. A door on the far corner opened and a woman in the clothes of a Victorian nurse stepped out. She was wearing the traditional white cloth over her blond slowly greying hair. She was holding a blanket in her arms, which lay neatly on an empty bed. She smiled as her eyes landed on Remus, her blue gaze turning soft.

"You must be Mister Lupin. It's nice to meet you." she smiled at him nothing in her gaze betrayed in any way that she was disgusted by what he was.

"It's nice to meet you" He answered with a small smile as he shook her hand.

"I will leave him in your care, Poppy" Minerva said with a small smile as she squeezed Remus shoulder once before leaving him alone with Madame Pomfrey.

"You will be fine, no worries." She said gently as she led him out of the hospital wing. Fine was not what he would have said but he knew that he would survive. He just wasn't looking forward to the transformation, putting it mildly. He was terrified. He was terrified each full moon, since the day strong teeth had sunk into his flesh and had turned him into a monster.

Silently they made their way outside. They walked through tall grass towards the Whomping Willow. The branches of the tree were moving dangerously, their movement sounding like whips slicing through the air.

"Can you see the knot on the root of the tree?" Madame Pomfrey asked as she pointed at said knot with her wand. Remus nodded. She moved her wand with flourish and a small twig started floating in the air. Its tip touched the knot and the tree ceased all movement. "Touch it and the tree will freeze."

Gently she helped him through the hole that was between the roots of the tree. The tip of her wand was the only source of light in the otherwise pitch black darkness of the tunnel. He followed her silently, fear sizzling through his veins, up to a trap door locked with a heavy iron lock that was over their heads at the end of the tunnel. With a small key, Madame Pomfrey unlocked it and ushered Remus through.

Quietly and with his fist clenched, Remus sat down on the couch in the Shack. He tried to keep his breathing steady as he felt the familiar fear of the transformation fill his mind. Soon the unbearable pain would start again. Soon he would be screaming again.

"It will be all right" Madame Pomfrey was standing in front of him, a kind yet sad smile on her lips. Before he could answer, he was enveloped in a warm hug. She smelled like lemon balm, thyme and if he concentrated enough he could make out the faint smell of lavender. All these different smells should have made him feel nauseous but they did quite the opposite. They soothed his restless stomach and the pain beneath his skull. He relaxed in her embrace. "Everything will be fine. You will wake up in the morning and I will heal each scratch. Soon you will be back to Gryffindor tower laughing with your friends. The transformation will pass. It will always pass and then you will be nothing more than a normal boy that I will patch up if he's injured"

She had hit the nail on the head. The pain of the transformation always seemed endless. It felt like the pain would never stop. He needed to be reminded that it would stop, that the transformation was not all that was his life.

"Thank you." Remus answered softly. With a gentle smile she stepped back and released him.

"The moon is nearly up. I should go back. I will see you tomorrow morning." She said softly as she squeezed his shoulder. He nodded and watched her as he disappeared through the trap door.

He was left behind in utter darkness. He took deep breaths trying to remind himself that the pain would end that it was no permanent. He tried to think about what would come after his transformation. The hospital stay was not something he was looking forward to, but he was looking forward to returning to Gryffindor tower, to returning to his friends. The first friends he could remember having after he was bitten. He had forgotten how much joy simple friendship brought.

He tried to block out the ache that grew in his body by thinking of his friends, thinking of James' teasing and intelligent grin, Sirius' booming laughter and Peter's quiet chuckles.

He couldn't lose them now that he knew what it was like to have friends. They could never find out about his secret. They could never find out what he truly was.

A ripple of pain ripped every single thought out of his mind. He slumped forward, his fingers cramping as he tried to breathe through the pain that felt like someone had set every part of him on fire. '_So it begins again' _was his last coherent thought before he got lost in the sea of pain. He was no longer aware of the screams that were torn from his throat. The only thing he knew was pain.

oOo

James flinched as he heard the first scream of pain through the sealed trap door above him. He was huddled in thick blankets leaning against the wall of the tunnel. His hands were clenched into fists as he tried to breathe calmly. Remus' screams of pain were echoing from above and he couldn't do a damn thing. At least when he had been able to turn into an Animagus he had been able to stay beside Remus during his transformation. They had never been able to lessen the pain but at least Remus hadn't been through it alone.

James hated it. He hated to know that one of his friends was in pain. He hated not being able to do anything. It was the worst feeling. He had felt like that the whole time he had been dead. Even though he was alive again, he couldn't do a damn thing. James' heart broke when he heard a small whimper of pain. He closed his eyes tightly trying to continue to breathe evenly as the tears started rolling down his cheeks. He wasn't ashamed of them. Another pain filled scream resounded before the screams of pain turned into angry howls. He could hear wood splinter thanks to angry wolf claws, the sound of fabric being ripped apart. The next moment, he could hear Moony trying to tear the trapdoor open. He could smell James through the thick wood.

James felt like time was moving slower than ever as he listened to Moony's growls and howls. At long last, the howls became human whimpers and James gave up trying to resist the urge to see Remus. He needed to make sure that he was all right.

"Alohomora!" The lock clicked open and slowly James opened the trap door and peeked inside. The room was a mess of destruction. Claw marks as deep as his hand was big were ripped into the walls. The couch looked like something big had chewed on it for hours and had ripped the rest apart. A lump was lying in the far corner and James hastily scrambled through the trap door. He ran over to Remus, who was covered in his own blood. He was so pale he looked nearly white. James felt sick as he looked at the claw marks and bites that covered the eleven year old boy. With slightly shaking hands, he laid his fingers on Remus' neck trying to find his pulse. He let out a small sigh of relief when he found it, even if it was slightly unsteady. Softly he brushed Remus' sweat soaked bangs out of his face. A bleary amber eye opened and looked at him. Remus' gaze was unfocused.

"J-James?" His voice was nothing more than a hoarse croak.

"Yup, it's me, mate. I'm here" James whispered softly as Remus eyes drifted shut again. "Everything's all right, you will be fine."

Remus was unconscious again. With a whispered promise that he would visit Remus later in the hospital wing, James tore himself away even though he wanted to stay beside his friend. He needed to leave if he didn't want to get in a whole lot of trouble. Madame Pomfrey would be here soon. He locked the trap door behind him before he forcefully pushed his blanket into his bag. He threw the invisibility cloak over himself before he rushed through the tunnel. Just as he stepped out of the hole between the roots Madame Pomfrey made her way towards the Whomping Willow.

James silently sneaked past her and ran all the way back towards Hogwarts. He only stopped running when he was standing in front of a tapestry that reminded him of something other than Remus being in pain. He was standing in front of the tapestry showing the attempt of Barnabas the barmy trying to teach trolls ballet. A clearly insane attempt, in James' and any other students' opinion. He was standing in front of the room of requirement, the place from where the Death Eaters had invaded Hogwarts. The place where Crabbe got himself killed by a fire he couldn't control. The place where Voldemort had hidden one of his Horcruxes. The diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw. It was nearly a subconscious decision to walk past the room three times while thinking of the room of hidden things. The place in which Harry had taught Dumbledore's army.

Unbidden an image of a small baby with emerald eyes and wild black hair bubbled up in his mind. He could nearly hear the little ones laughter and almost feel the weight of his son in his arms. James bit his lip. He could hear Harrys first word and the lullabies Lily had sung each night. He could hear his sons wailing when Voldemort had killed him. He remembered a little toddler never receiving the amount of love he deserved from his relatives. He saw that toddler grow up into a young child, that was ignored and hated in the home he grew up in.. He saw his son hunted by danger. He saw his son die at the hands of Voldemort. He could hear his son mourn those he lost. He saw the pain and sadness his son had to go through all his life because they had died James clenched his hands into fist. No, this time everything would be different. He would get to see his son grow up enveloped by the love he deserved. He would not allow Harry to fear for his life a second time. He would make sure that his son was safe when he was born. He would be safe from Voldemort when James would hold him in his arms again.

With renewed determination James stepped through the door into the room of hidden things. The room was, in one word, a mess. Unstable towers made of books were reaching near the ceiling, the stuffed troll was as ugly as ever. A mountain made out of damaged furniture was lying on a different corner. James knew that the Marauders would add a few items to the list of destroyed school property that would end up on that mountain in the coming years. He walked past a heap of old and rusted swords. He nearly stumbled over a lance that was lying on the middle of the room. The statue of the first headmaster of Hogwarts seemed to be watching him as he tried to remember the way Harry had taken when he had found the diadem for the first time.

He let out a breath of relief when he finally stumbled over the diadem. It was discoloured and no longer as pretty as it had once been. The blue sapphire that graced its middle had turned into a murky greenish colour. James stared at the Horcrux in his hand with apprehension. He was holding a part of Voldemort's soul in his hands and that was in some ways truly disgusting. But he had bigger problems than just holding snake bastard's horcrux in his hands. There was still the issue of destroying the horcrux. Either he set the whole room on fire with Fiendfyre like Crabbe had done, never mind that Crabbe had killed himself in the process something which james did not want to repeat, or he had to kill the basilisk some way. He actually didn't want to destroy the room. After all, the Room of Requirement and the Room of Hidden Things would have its uses later on. They had used the room to work on their Animagus transformations. So the fiendfyre in here was out of question especially since he had no idea if he could control it with his currently slightly unstable eleven-year-old magic. That left basilisk venom, meaning that he would have to kill the giant snake. He would not do it like Harry. His son had more luck on his side than normal. So he officially needed to update his list. Research on ways to kill basilisks. Another issue was if it wouldn't be better to destroy all Horcruxes at once so that Voldmort couldn't realize what was happening till it was too late. If he destroyed it now there was no doubt that Voldemort would feel it and send someone to check it out. Someone would probably turn out to be more than one Death Eater. He rubbed his temple. The whole thing was giving him a bloody headache especially when he hadn't slept the whole night.

He looked at the diadem one more before he made up his mind. He looked around till he found a chest in which the diadem would fit. He threw all the jewellery that was inside it on the floor before placing the diadem inside. He pulled his wand and started placing protections around the diadem that would alarm him if anyone tried to touch it. He closed the chest and securely locked it with a key that he put in his trouser pocket. He placed more protection charms on the chest making it impossible to open it with magic. Now he just needed a hiding place till he made a decision what to do with the horcrux. His gaze landed on the stuffed troll. He seriously doubted that anyone would look there. No one would suspect the diadem of Ravenclaw to be hidden inside a stuffed troll. With his wand, he made a clean cut in the stomach of the troll. He pulled put out a lot of the cotton like substance inside the troll. He would _sooo_ wash his hands after this. He made a small grimace of disgust before he put the chest inside the stomach of the troll. With a small movement of his wand he sealed the stomach over the chest close till it looked like he had never cut it open. He placed another charm on the troll that would alarm him if anyone tried to touch the troll. He gave small satisfied nod before he quickly left the room. James would have to think of a course of action. The faster he came up with a plan the better.

He looked outside the sun had already raised. From a look at his pocket watch he realized that in a little of an hour breakfast would begin to be served. So no sleep for him. He hoped Slughorn wouldn't be to mad at him if he fell asleep during potions. And since he was awake, there was no way Sirius and Peter were continued to be allowed to sleep. A small smirk hushed over his tiered features, he already had a pretty special wakeup call in mind.

**A.N.: First of all don't ask me why James chose the stuffed troll, I have no idea. Thanks to MSupernatural for betaing and for giving me a nice suggestion. :) I thought it was about time that James started to make some 'plans' what to do. Even though it is not much of plan yet but that will change. Thank you soooo much for the reviews up till now. I hope you enjoy this chapter and reviews are always appreciated. **


	8. Nightmares and Comfort

Chapter 8

Nightmares and Comfort

oOo

"And just how is this my fault?" James asked with a quirked eyebrow. Lily glared at him all the more. Her hair had turned into a lovely shade of purple. And if James looked into a mirror, his usually black hair would be just as purple.

"I have no idea how you did it but it was you!" Lily's voice vibrated with anger. Yet, James was happy to note it was not as angry as it could get. If he looked really closely, there was even an involuntary quirk to her lips.

"Actually, it really was not James1 fault!" Remus said as he peeked at Lily from behind James' shoulder. James had forgotten that Remus had been able to hide behind him when they had been in first year.

"He's right. For once James was not at fault for the explosion." Sirius piped up from James' right side.

"What do you mean with for once?" James asked as he playfully glared at Sirius.

"Oh, well, usually explosions are sort of your thing." Sirius answered with a broad grin.

"Oh really? And they're not your thing at all?"

"Well, since I am not as much of a loser as you are, my cards do not explode as yours. So I would say it is more your thing than mine."

"Oy!"

"Guys, you're getting of topic." Remus interrupted before they could start their full course of bickering.

"I-It was my fault Lily!" Peter spoke up from behind Sirius. He peeked around Sirius to gaze Lily with a nervous and apologetic smile.

"Yep, Pete here thought it was a good idea to add something..." Sirius slung an arm around Peter's shoulder.

"...which he might should not have added..." James jumped in to continue Sirius' sentence.

"...yet." Sirius finished with a wink towards Lily for which James promptly rammed his elbow into Sirius' side. It lead Sirius to start stumbling, which followed by Peter losing his balance thanks to the arm Sirius had still slung over his shoulder. Peter fell towards the floor together with Sirius who grasped for James. He pulled on James shirt and thus James fell atop Sirius and Peter on the floor. Remus sighed and shook his head in mild amusement. Lily looked at them with a dubious expression gracing her face, like she had never seen something like them before. She shook her head before she walked away, her wild mane of red, now turned purple, swaying as she left his sight.

"You are so whipped." Sirius commented from underneath him.

"Oh shut it!" James exclaimed as he slapped the back of Sirius' head. He had hoped to be spared of his friends teasing but it had been a futile hope as he had well known.

"Come one, guys. Get up. We've got History of magic next." Remus said as he held out a hand to help James up. Sirius and Peter groaned beneath him. James noticed the bandage peeking out from beneath Remus sleeve. Usually he would have pulled Remus right on top of them but not when he knew of the bandages that covered his friends body. So he simply took his friends offered hand and let himself be pulled to his feet.

Grumbling and complaining the whole time, they followed Remus to their History of magic classroom. They dumped their stuff next to their seats before nearly falling onto them. History was the subject that every single, really, every single student of Hogwarts did not look forward to. Even Lily Evans. She had confided that she had secretly hated the subject no matter how many neat and proper notes she took during it.

As soon as Binns floated inside, he started droning on about one thing or another. James was not really listening. He had never truly listened to any of Binns' lessons now that he thought about it, but just read the textbooks afterwards. Next to him Sirius was furiously scribbling something on his paper. He bet that it had absolutely nothing to do with their lesson. Peter was yawning every few minutes as he blankly stared at the blackboard. Remus was trying to take notes but from time to time he would simply stare holes into the air. James pulled out a thick book from the library. He opened the page on the subject of Basilisk. He needed a way to kill the basilisk without having to stab it with a sword that Fawkes brought. He doubted that he was as lucky as his son.

After a while, James' eyes began to drop as he regarded the words on the pages. The words slowly merged together forming black blobs that he could not read.

"Go to sleep, Jamsie." Sirius murmured softly from beside him. "I will wake you up before class ends or if anything interesting happens."

"I doubt that." James muttered almost inaudibly before he rested his head on his book. Sirius quiet chuckle was the last thing before he fell asleep.

oOo

Remus had officially found the subject which he would have the most difficulties taking notes. Usually by now his parchment would nearly be completely covered in his neat notes but it was not even half full yet. Professor Binns really had a voice that made it impossible to listen. Like, really impossible to listen. More often than not Remus found himself staring out of the window and into the blue sky, his thoughts taking him elsewhere. His resisted the urge to scratch the healing wound on his arm. His long sleeves hiding the bandages had spared him the explanations he had otherwise thought up. He stole a quick glance at James, who was sleeping peacefully on his book. In the pain induced haze after he had turned back, he had imagined James leaning over him and muttering reassurances. It had been nothing more than a pain induced illusion. There was no way James could have really been there.

Remus let out a sigh and concentrated back to what Binns was saying. He took a few more notes before he was interrupted.

"Remus, Remy?" Peter whispered from beside him. Remus resisted the urge to groan. Now even Peter had picked up that bloody nickname.

"Yes?" Remus whispered back.

"I think something is wrong with James." A worried frown was etched across Peter's features. Remus' head immediately whipped towards James.

"James, wake up" Sirius was whispering as he shook James shoulder. James' hand was clutching the edge of the table so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. Small sounds of distress left his lips even though he had clenched them tightly together.

"James, wake up!" Sirius voice was edging into panicked territory and he shot Remus a worried look over James' head.

With a start James' eyes snapped open. His was breathing fast like his lungs were desperately trying to suck in air. He looked around them with wide terrified eyes. Blank terror and fear were swimming in his eyes.

"James?" Sirius asked softly trying not to spook James. He laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. His fingertips had barely made contact with James shoulder when James' head whipped towards Sirius. When his eyes landed on him a great relieved sigh spilled from his lips. With slightly trembling hands, he brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"I-" James cut himself off as he took a deep breath to calm is racing heart. "I'm all right."

"No, you're not." Sirius hissed quietly, careful as not to make it too obvious for Binns that they were definitely no longer listening to the lecture. Remus nodded. Sirius was right. James was no all right. He was pale and his hands were trembling ever so slightly.

"But I will be." James answer was accompanied by a small smile, so unlike his usual bright grins. Sirius and Remus shared a skeptical look. "Sorry for worrying you guys." James added with a more genuine smile. Peter returned the smile with a hesitant one of his own. Remus frowned. There was something wrong and it ate James no matter how much he tried to make light of it. Sirius was also looking at James with searching eyes. The look promised that Sirius would not forget the nightmare and brush it aside as easily as James seemed to have done.

James was already engaged in a whispered conversation with Peter seeming to be completely at ease. Upon a closer look, though, one could see the underlining tension coiling in his muscles. Remus felt worry tug sharply at his heart. James was not supposed to look so haunted. He should not have that look of terror in his eyes.

The rest of Binns' lesson just passed by without any of them paying attention to it. When they left the classroom, they kept an easy conversation without any real depth going. Mostly Sirius and James complained about the fact that they were not allowed to own a broom in first year. Remus and Peter's inputs to the conversation were minimal as Sirius and James started gesturing wildly while talking in a too-inappropriate volume for the hallway. Remus watched with relief as the tension slowly bled out of James' body. Almost unconsciously, the boys had formed a protective circle around James as they walked. He was in the center, Sirius on his right and Remus on his left. Peter was walking slightly behind Sirius and James. Remus smiled at the realization.

"What are you grinning about Remy?" James asked with a laugh that was so much better than his haunted look as he slung his arm over Remus shoulder.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Remus answered with a another soft smile. James quirked an eyebrow but did not pressure him further for answers.

" So who should we prank?" Sirius voice drifted over. A clearly mischievous note was ringing in his tone.

"Wait! What prank?" Remus asked utterly bewildered. James sigh was as theatrical as it could get.

"You were lost in your own head again." James stated as he gently tapped against Remus forehead. Remus scowled at James' bemused expression.

"They want to play a prank." Peter piped up. A small, still slightly hesitant grin was tugging on his lips.

"No." Remus stated flatly. Any prank played by James and Sirius would potentially end in disaster. Or rather would most likely end in a grand scale catastrophe. One which Remus did not want to be introduced to within his first days at Hogwarts.

"Why not?" Sirius exclaimed sounding truly scandalized.

"I may only have known you guys for six days but I know that letting you guys do any kind of prank will end in a small or rather grand scale catastrophe." Remus' tone was dry. James snorted.

"Just one tiny prank?" Sirius asked. He turned his pleading grey eyes towards Remus.

"No." Remus tried to remain firm but the corner of his mouth had other ideas. It was trying to form a smile. He fought it vigilantly.

"One prank, please?" James asked from beside him. A pleading expression was etched across his face. He was pouting. Wide hazel eyes silently begged from behind his glasses. Remus couldn't quite stop the wry smile from worming itself onto his face. He opened his mouth to deny James plea as well.

"Please?" Peter asked as he looked at Remus imploringly. Watery blue eyes looking up at him as Peter fiddled with his shirt. Three set of eyes stared at him silently begging him to let them play a prank. Remus let out a defeated groan.

"Fine." At Remus' verbal admit of defeat Sirius and James cheered and high-fived with broad grins. Even Peter broke out into a broad grin "But-"

"Just why did I sense that there was a 'but' going to appear?" Sirius muttered towards James who snickered.

"But I will make sure that you guys do not go overboard." Remus finished, ignoring Sirius interruption. "That means no hanging the Slytherins on the ceiling via their underwear-I heard your muttering about it, Sirius, don't try denying it." Remus pointed at Sirius, who huffed as he crossed his arms.

"We also won't flood the Slytherin common room." Remus said as he glanced at James .

"... yet" James mutter was nearly inaudible. Remus sent him a sharp look. James just grinned with his hand raised in playful surrender. A grumble interrupted them. Three pair of eyes turned towards Peter, who blushed lightly.

"It seems that the great beast requires food." James said with a small laugh.

"Then let us feed the beast!" Sirius exclaimed as he pulled an imaginary sword. The invisible blade pointing towards the great hall. Peter chuckled at Sirius' antics. Remus just rolled his eyes even though a smile was playing on his lips. Dinner had probably already started. They had lost quite a bit of time bantering back and forth.

"No talk about the prank till we reach our dorm room." James said just as they were about to enter the great hall. All of them nodded.

oOo

Sirius landed face first on his bed. A satisfied sigh escaping his lips. He thanked Merlin repeatedly for blessing him with such awesome food. It was sooo good compared to Kreacher's cooking. It seemed nearly unbelievable. The only issue was that his stomach now hurt from so much food.

"Learned your lesson?" James laughed from the bed next to his. James had warned him more than once that his stomach would end up hurting if he continued to stuff his face with so much food.

"Oh shut it, Potter!" Sirius exclaimed with a laugh as he halfheartedly threw his pillow in the direction of James' voice.

"Well, you could have not missed me more." James commented dryly. Sirius felt the pillow he had thrown hit the back of his own head.

"Oy!" Sirius protested as he raised his head from where he had pushed it into his blankets to glare at James.

"Since you have now stopped kissing your blankets might we actually get something productive done?" James asked with a grin. Sirius was about to vehemently deny the kissing part when James continued. "Plan our Prank, maybe?"

That got Sirius' attention. Remus groaned, his eye roll hidden behind the book that conveniently covered his face, and Peter stopped trying to wrestle with his trunk to stare at James in eager anticipation.

"Slytherins?" Sirius asked as eager as an excited puppy. James laughed at his expression, which only made Sirius pout.

"I'd say we should start with something more easily accessible." Remus commented from the sideline. Sirius pouted. He wanted to prank his cousins and not his fellow Gryffindors as Remus was implying.

"Who said that the Slytherin common room is inaccessible?" James said with a smirk.

"You've been holding out on us, haven't you?!" Sirius accuses as he narrows his eyes playfully.

"Maybe." James grins as he walks over to his trunk. With great flourish he pulls out a cloak. It looked like liquid silver in his hands. He pulled the cloak around himself and James simply vanished. He was there one moment and then he was not.

"James?!" Sirius exclaimed worry hidden in the undercurrent of his voice. He did not like it when his friends just suddenly disappeared.

"Relax, Sirius." James laughter filled voice rang through the room but they still couldn't see him.

"An invisibility cloak." Remus voice is nothing more than an awe filled whisper. Peter's eyes were so big they looked like they would fall out of his head any given moment.

"That's bloody brilliant!" Sirius nearly shouted as he bouncing over to where James head had reappeared. "This opens up so many things! Hell, it opens whole universes! We can sneak around without being found! Oh Slytherins, you better be careful! Very careful" The mad cackle that accompanied his words was completely involuntary. James looked at him like he had just lost all of his marbles.

"Calm down, mate!" James said while he patted Sirius shoulder with his still invisible hand.

"We can sneak into the kitchen with it." Peter's eyes shone with excitement.

"Brilliant idea, Pete!" Sirius voice was bubbling with excitement even though his stomach protested at the thought of more food.

"First, we would have to find the kitchen." Remus commented from behind his book.

"Easy, I know where it is." James said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"And you didn't tell us?!" Sirius tackled James. James yelped as he crashed onto the ground.

" Get off, you dog!" James exclaimed as he tried to push Sirius off him. Sirius quirked an eyebrow at being called dog. He didn't quite know from where James had drawn the conclusion that he was a dog but whatever. There were more important things going on like punishing James for not telling them about the kitchen. He started tickling James mercilessly. Helpless laughter bubbled forth from James. He was squirming beneath him trying to get away. It was a futile attempt. He would not get away.

"Gah! I'm sorry!" James managed to get out between the laughter that consumed him. With a self-satisfied smirk Sirius leaned back and allowed James to breath for the moment.

"I'm so going to get revenge for that." James glared at Sirius.

"You can try." Sirius shrugged with his shoulder. His face ached from the broad grin that once again adjourned his face.

"Oh, believe me, I will" James grin was slightly predatory. Sirius answered with a challenging grin of his own. His self-preservation was not the best. Sirius slowly stood back up. He held out his hand and pulled James back onto his feet.

"So the prank?" Sirius asked in an eager voice.

"We need something first-years can manage." Peter piped up from where he had made himself comfortable on his bed.

"True, itching powder?" Sirius asked. Remus grimaced.

"Okay, no itching powder. Dungbombs?" James volunteered.

"Where would we get Dungbombs?" Peter asked with a confused frown. James opened his mouth only to snap it shut again. He was going to mention something he definitely shouldn't know about just yet.

"We would have to order them." Remus said. He had finally laid his book aside. "And that could take a while. I guess you guys would want to do the prank immediately?"

Sirius nodded eagerly.

"How about a hair colour change?" James asked as he thought back to the incident in the potion classroom. "We would only need to find a spell for that." He added, deciding he could just pretend to find the correct book for it, despite knowing really well quite a few colour change spells, even some he himself had invented. Or rather, would invent.

"That could work." Remus conceded.

"All right, hair colour change it is." Sirius rubbed his hands together barely suppressing his urge to let loose another mad cackle.

"Who do we want to prank?" Peter asked. Hesitant excitement was sneaking into his voice.

"The maniacal and insane lunatics" Sirius stated darkly. Remus and Peter shared a confused look. James patted Sirius' shoulder.

"To translate Sirius' speech into normal speech, the targets are Narcissa Black, Bellatrix Black and Lucy-eh Lucius Malfoy." James answered the unspoken question in the air.

"That name is awesome!" Sirius exclaimed with a snicker. "I am so going to call Malfoy Lucy!"

"We just need to find the Slytherin common room." Remus said calmly.

"Easy. Sirius and I are going to stalk- eh, I mean, tail a Slytherin student underneath the invisibility cloak. Peter and you can look up spells in the library." James answered with a small crooked grin. Let's make some mischief." James grinned his hand outstretched.

"Chaos and panic here we come!" Sirius laid his hand over James.

"Why am I doing this, again?" Remus muttered as he laid his hand on top o theirs.

"L-laughter as our goal." Peter added quietly as he added his hand.

"All right, let's do this!" James promised with a broad grin and laughter.

oOo

Remus' eyes snapped open. He blinked. It was still dark. Pitch black. Something out of the ordinary must have woken him up.

"No!" The whimper drifted through the silence of the room. Remus cursed. It seemed James had another nightmare.

"No, no, please!" At James repeated whimpering Remus drew his blankets back an hastily stumbled out of his bed. "Stop! No!"

"What's going on?" Sirius mumbled from his bed. He sounded as if he was still half asleep.

"No! Please stop! Leave him alone! Stop! Please!" Remus ripped James' curtains open. He heard Sirius curse and fall out of his bed. James was shaking and sweating. He had tossed and turned so much that his blanket was wrapped around him like a snake slowly suffocating its prey.

"Shit!" Sirius cursed from beside him when his eyes landed on his friend. Remus tried to untangle James as he gently tried to wake him. The pleas continued spilling from James' lips as the nightmare continued to hold him in its claws.

"James, wake up!" Sirius snapped, panic filling his voice as he roughly started shaking James.

"Please! No! Let go of him! No! Stop! Please!" The words continued to tumble from his lips. Sirius send a pleading look towards Remus. "Help him! Please! No! Har-"

"James!" Sirius shouted cutting off the next plea. Distantly, Remus heard Peter stumbling towards them.

"NO!" A gut wrenching scream left James lips as his eyes flew open. James' breath came in harsh pants. His hazel eyes were wide open and swimming in tears. He was trembling, shaking all over.

"James." Sirius whispered his name so softly it could have been inaudible. James turned his head towards the sound.

"S-Sirius?" His voice was a hoarse croak. He squinted against the darkness and the tears that clung to his lashes.

"Yeah, It's me." Sirius kept his voice calm and soothing careful not to let the worry he felt bleed into his voice. With a shuddering breath, James sat up. He reached out towards Sirius and his hand held onto Sirius' wrist as if to make sure that he was there.

"Remus?" At his inquiry, Remus gently laid his hand on James' knee. A sigh of relief left James mouth at the contact.

"James?" Peter's question was asked in a soft and kind voice still James froze. The tension that had just started to bleed out of James returned full force. His grip on Sirius wrist became almost painfully tight.

"James?" Remus gentle question managed to make James tear his gaze away from Peter. The question of whether or not he was all right seemed so inadequate that none of them voiced it. James brushed he tear tracks away with his sleeve before sending them a tired small smile.

"Sorry for waking you up." James murmured softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Remus answered softly. He had enough nightmares of his own.

"Do you want to talk about the nightmare?" At his question, James shook his head.

"More memory than nightmare." The mutter was nearly inaudible and wrenched with so much sadness that Sirius and Remus shared an alarmed look.

"Think you can go back to sleep?" Peter asked quietly. James shrugged with his shoulders.

"All right. Peter, Remus pull your blankets and cushions onto the floor." Sirius said as he pulled everything on his bed onto the floor. Even though they had no clue what he was planning they followed his example. Sirius made on large makeshift bed on the floor. "Reg and me used to do that whenever he had a nightmare. " Sirius said quietly as he spread out the blankets. Nostalgia accompanied his words. He shook his head as if trying to get rid of his thoughts.

"Come on, James!" Sirius dragged James into the centre of their makeshift bed before covering James with a blanket. Sirius lay down next to him. Remus smiled before following his example. All four of them lay snuggled together on the floor.

"Thank you." James whispered. Sirius smiled ruffling through James' hair. James pouted. Remus gently patted his shoulder. Peter grinned. All four of them fell asleep on the floor. During the night they gravitated towards each other till they were one pile of four peacefully sleeping eleven year olds. Remus was using Peter stomach as a pillow. Whereas James was using Remus arm as a cuddly toy. Sirius was using both James and Remus as a mattress. Not one of them was disturbed by the extra weight of the others. No more nightmares disturbed their sleep.

oOo

**A.N: I am soooo sorry *peeks out from behind a suit of armour*.Life had kept me busy and prevented me from writing. I am so sorry. I will try to write more now that I have more free time. So sorry. The next revival of the past chapter will take a while just as the next along those lines chapter will. Again I am sorry. I hope you enjoyed this chapter reviews are as always welcome. **


	9. Brooms and Snakes

Chapter 9

Brooms and Snakes

oOo

James stood next to Sirius feeling utterly bored out if his mind. He knew how to fly. He had been the captain of the Quidditch team for some years, after all. He really did not need to attend this lesson again, considering that even during his first time attending it he had already known pretty much everything their professor was saying, thank you very much. He had long since completely blocked out anything that Madame Hooch was saying. Seriously, just what was he doing here?

"You all right, mate?" Sirius whispered from beside him as Madame Hooch continued to drone on about potential dangers and injuries. It was fascinating to watch as the colour drained from faces as she listed the injuries one could sustain from a fall of a broom.

"Just bored, I know how to fly." James answered as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Sirius grunted. James' gaze strayed over the assembled students. Peter looked like he was ready to faint if their professor listed one more injury. Remus was not fairing that much better. Lily looked faintly green in the face and Snape was trying to reassure her but seemed to be failing. Dorothy Harper looked like she would rather be anywhere else than here at the moment. If James remembered correctly the Slytherin girl was utterly terrified of heights. Alice looked defeated, she kept muttering something along the lines of "Hospital wing, here I come."

James snickered softly. With her clumsiness it would be no wonder if she ended up in the hospital wing, just like her son. He wasn't exactly worried, though, as he did remember that she had not ended up in it the first time around.

"All right, now reach out your hands over your brooms and say up!"

James rolled with his eyes but did as their professor instructed. He had barely said the word and the broom had already jumped into his hand.

"U-Up!" Peter's calls were getting more fanatic as his broom continued to ignore him resolutely. James spontaneously decided that it might be a good idea to try to help him. It was kind of pathetic just how much Peter had always sucked at flying.

"Pete, calm down. Your panic will make the broom ignore you all the more." James said as he calmly laid a hand on his shoulder. James smiled gently, ignoring the mixed emotions that swirled inside of him. He would never be able to completely see Peter as the innocent brother he had been. A part of him would always see the future traitor in Peter's eyes yet that did not mean he would not do his utmost to prevent it from happening. Peter glanced at James, his eyes clearly conveyed his need for some help.

"There is nothing to fear." James said, albeit a bit sourly. "Just take few deep breaths. In and out. Let out your fear with each exhale" He murmured encouragingly. Peter did as James asked. With each breath, the fear that had roared like a storm inside of him calmed down till it was nothing more than the barest hint of wings fluttering fretfully.

Peter took one more deep breath before as calmly as he could he said: "Up!" The broom twitched before it flew up into Peter's outstretched hand.

"See? That wasn't so hard." James said as Peter beamed at him with a proud grin. James returned the grin and turned back towards Sirius, who was no longer turned towards him. He had turned towards Remus and was helping him, James noted with a pleasant surprise. Even though Sirius' help included a lot of muttered cursing. Remus had a bemused expression on his face but Sirius' antics took his mind off of the prospect of flying so it worked.

James looked around. Lily was still fighting with her broom and James resisted the urge to help her. If he went over and suggested anything she would likely bite his head off. She had always wanted to do things on her own. If he went and offered his help, she would think that he thought that she was unable to do anything on her own. She would call him an arrogant toerag that only wanted to show off his 'superior' skills again. James resisted the eye roll at the mental image of the argument that had popped up in his mind. He really did know her well.

Madame Hooch's call for them to climb onto their brooms interrupted his thoughts. With a small annoyed sigh, James climbed onto the broom, hoping to get the lesson over as quickly as possible. Sirius seemed to share his sentiment. He looked bored out of his mind. He had received basic flying lessons from his relatives, which had surprisingly not been all that horrible.

"At my call, push yourself off of the ground." Madame Hooch exclaimed. With the blow of her whistle, the students gently rose into the air. She rose gently with them to keep an eye on them. Lily was clutching her broom in a vice-like grip, and her eyes were as round as emerald marbles, just like the first time. Snape looked like he would much rather be back on solid ground and his face had taken on a slightly green tinge, faintly matching his Slytherin robes. Alice was trying to keep her balance and not fall off. Remus was looking straight ahead, concentration written all over his face. Peter was deliberately breathing in and out slowly to stave off his fear. Sirius was observing Remus and Peter for any sign that they could possibly fall off their broom, while James was sitting on his broom with a look of utter boredom etched across his features. He had even started counting hippogriffs in his head to try and stave off the boredom.

A whimper cut through James thoughts. He had just been at Hippogriff number 48. He turned towards his right. Harper was clutching her broom, which was bucking slightly. Her eyes were screwed shut in fear as she clung to her broom for dear life. Terrified of heights! The accident! The images came rushing into James' head as he remembered what had happened to the girl the first time around and dread filled him.

"Harper!" James called as he flew over to her side. The poor girl was trembling, her face ashen and her breathing was way too fast. "Breathe, everything's all right." James said as he grabbed onto her broom with one hand to stop it from bucking. Under his hand the broom stilled and stopped its jerky movements but Harper did not stop shaking.

"Harper, breathe. Calm down. In and out." James tried to calm the girl down but it didn't seem to work. Well, shit. The girl was caught in a full-blown panic attack. She was shaking, trembling, hyperventilating and her eyes were unfocused. Not good at all.

"Madame Hooch!" James called, worry clearly portrayed in his voice. His tone of voice was enough for Sirius to immediately fly to his side. Madame Hooch was busy trying to explain something to a clearly aggravated Lily. She hadn't heard him, which was just typical.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked with a frown.

"She is having a full-blown bloody panic attack." James said with a scowl as he continued to try and get Harper to calm down. "She is terrified of heights... apparently." He quickly added.

"We should get her back to the ground." Sirius said, surprising James once again. She was a Slytherin and still Sirius seemed to want to help. He hadn't even done anything to warrant Sirius' hatred of Slytherins lessening. James blinked at him dumbfounded for a moment before nodding. James made sure to keep Harper on the broom as Sirius gently lead his and Harper's broom towards the ground. Harper collapsed on the ground as soon as she could. She was still caught in a her panic attack.

"Harper!" James called again as he tried to catch the terrified girl's attention. James let out a curse. "Sirius, get Madame Hooch." Sirius nodded and without comment took off into the air to get her.

"Harper, look at me." James grabbed the girl's chin to make her terrified blue eyes look at him. "You're on the ground. Can you fell it beneath your feet? There is earth beneath your feet, not air." He grabbed her hand and made her touch the soft grass. "Can you feel the grass? You're on the ground. You're not flying. You're safe. You have to slow your breathing down. Slowly, In and out. Try to match my breathing. Slowly." The girl stared into his eyes, her breath finally slowing down a bit. Her eyes were still shadowed by fear, but they also held surprise and gratefulness.

Sirius came rushing forward with Madame Hooch following closely. With no small amount of relief, James let his professor handle the slowly calming down girl. He stepped back to give her more room. A small sigh slipped past James' lips as he watched Madame Hooch gently talking to Harper. Sirius moved towards his side and bumped their shoulders together.

"Thanks." James commented lightly as he grabbed the sides of his head, trying to calm himself now.

"Nah." Sirius waved his thanks off with a small movement of his hand. James smiled at his best friend and was about to say something when he was interrupted by Madame Hooch. Harper had lost consciousness. The panic had drained her completely.

"I will be taking Ms. Harper to the hospital wing. All of you should land. Just slowly lean towards the ground. And if I find anybody who is still in the air when I get back, you will receive detention and suffer loss of house points. All of you!" She glared at her students, before swirling around. She levitated Harper alongside her as she hurried towards the hospital wing. James stared at her dubiously.

"Did she really just tell first years, were a few have never been on a broom before, to somehow manage to land on their own?" James asked incredulously. This was nearly as bad as her telling first year students to stay on the ground. No way in hell would this end well.

"Yeah, sure seems that way." Sirius answered, his voice showing his excitement.

"She does realize that the first landing is almost always a crash landing?" James continued.

"Ah... No idea?"

"She is bonkers." James said flatly.

"Now that you're pointing it out, yes that she is."

"We probably should help them so that they do not kiss the ground face first" James said, looking at Sirius, who looked at him with a smile. James knew that look, he was planning a prank, but as soon as he saw James' face, he dropped the smile.

"Well, we do not want the hospital wing to be flooded this early." Sirius added as he turned around.

"Seems we were too late." Sirius commented as watched Alice clumsily get back up from where she had crashed into the ground. She had mud and grass in her face. Well, there was the crash that she had been expecting all day.

"Are you all right?" James asked her with a small quirk of his lips as he helped her up. She nodded as she grimaced.

"That was an excellent demonstration of kissing the ground." Sirius added with snicker. "And, well, you've got something on your face."

"No kidding, Black." She said in a deadpan voice as she scowled at Sirius, who just smiled at her with the most innocent grin. She rubbed the dirt of her face with her white sleeves. The house elves would not be happy with having to clean that. At least Alice was not injured in any way. The students that came from wizarding families had less problems reaching the ground than those with muggle parents. Lily was currently having some serious issues getting back towards the ground even with Snape's help.

"Seems Ms. Know-it-all doesn't know everything. What a shocker." Sirius stated as he watched the process of her ungraceful landing tries with a bemused expression.

"Book smarts only take you so far." James said with a shrug of his shoulders. "And we should probably try and safe Peter." James added as an afterthought. Sirius followed his gaze. Peter was being ignored by his broom, again. Remus was trying to help but he himself had problems landing.

"Good idea." The two of them climbed on their brooms once more and took off into the air to help the last few struggling students back onto the ground. Their help was appreciated by most students, while Lily, who accepted James' overly hesitant and humble help, just looked at him with a surprised look on her face.

When finally everyone had solid ground beneath their feet James could not help but let out a small sigh of relief. Peter looked ready to cry tears of joy at the feeling of having something solid beneath his feet.

"Remind me to never become a flying instructor." He muttered towards Sirius, who nodded along sagely.

"15 points for each of you, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter, for assisting other students in need" At McGonagall's voice, James and Sirius whirled around startled. They hadn't heard her step behind them. James was even more startled at her words. He usually mostly lost Gryffindor House points. Gaining house points would always be startling for him.

McGonagall was standing behind them. She looked as stern as ever, only her eyes looked at them with a certain amount of warmth with which she looked at almost all students of her house. Sirius looked vaguely uncomfortable under her gaze and James opened and closed his mouth a few times but no sound escaped him.

"I expect both of you on the Quidditch try outs next year." She continued completely undeterred by their lack of response.

"Of course, professor." James answered when he finally got over his surprise. Sirius nodded.

"Good." With one last regal nod of her head, she turned around and left the students standing there. Sirius looked at James in slight confusion, who just shrugged with his shoulders.

"Let's get out of here." Sirius whispered towards James. James nodded. He had had enough of first year flying lessons. He adored flying, it was the best thing in the world, but flying lessons when he was more than capable were just...not good. He didn't care at all that they could possibly lose all the house points that they had just gained by skipping. Not that he had ever cared. James lightly tugged on Remus' sleeve to indicate him to follow him and Sirius. Surprisingly Remus nodded, it seemed he had had enough of flying as well. Peter followed them all to eager to get away from the brooms.

oOo

"Ouch, watch where you step!"

"Sorry but it is seriously cramped under here."

"No kidding! Ouch, Remy, I could have done without your knobbly elbow stabbing my liver unconscious!"

"I would say I am sorry if you would stop trying to poke my eye out with your fingers, James!"

"That was my foot, Sirius!"

"I thought it was a slug!"

"Haha, James stop! He went left!"

"Agh, you're strangling me! Stop pulling in a different direction!"

"Ouch!"

"Ugh, Sorry Pete!"

"It is a wonder he hasn't heard us yet!"

"Ouch! Pete don't just stop walking!"

"Sirius stop trying to kill me with your thick skull!"

"I think you broke my nose!"

"My toe feels broken!"

"Stop your immature whining!"

"I am not whining!"

"Yes you are!"

"Am not!"

"Agh! Just bloody shut up!"

"Remy!"

"Such foul language!"

"Eh, guys...!"

"Oh shit! He is turning around! Hide!"

"Quiet!" James hissed. The four of them stumbled behind a suit of armour as quickly as they could while staying covered beneath the invisibility cloak. They peeked around the armour. Snape had indeed turned around and was now looking suspiciously in their direction. Peter had clasped his own hand over his mouth to stifle any sound he might accidentally make. They barely dared to breathe as Snape's narrowed eyes looked into their direction. They let out a nearly silent sigh when his gaze moved on. Snape resumed his walk towards his common room he was completely unaware of the small group of mischief makers that were following him.

"From now on, not a word from any of you!" Remus hissed quietly. Sirius and James opened their mouth as if to protest but quickly shut them again at Remus' glare. Peter kept his hand over his mouth to prevent any involuntary sounds from escaping.

"Don't suffocate yourself!" James whispered towards Pete, who just nodded silently in response.

As silently as they could, which was not that silent at all. It was seriously a wonder that Snape had not noticed them yet. They followed Snape down towards the dungeons.

"The universe seems to love irony." Sirius muttered darkly. James refrained from commenting. It was kind of symbolic that the Slytherins lived in the dungeons. It did not help their reputation at all. With batted breath, they waited as Snape came to a stop in front of a blank wall.

"Anguitenens." The word rolled of Snape's tongue and with fascination three of the four Gryffindor's watched as an entrance opened.

"They are lucky. They don't have a fat lady that wants to blast their ear drums." Sirius muttered darkly. Apparently Sirius still hadn't forgiven her for leaving him dripping wet, from when James had pulled him into the lake, in front of her portrait to demonstrate her horrendous singing abilities. James snickered quietly. Snape disappeared inside and the wall closed behind him sealing the entrance once again.

"Okay, so what now?" Peter asked as he his gaze strayed along the corridor to make sure that no one was there.

"Now, we wait till everyone has gone to bed." Sirius answered with a devious grin.

"Shouldn't be long now." Remus commented as he looked at his banged up wrist watch.

They had decided after overhearing a few Slytherins complain about the password changing every fortnight that they would need to do it the same evening as they found out the password of the day. The four of them huddled closer together to make sure that all of them were hidden and started to wait. James and Sirius started playing a game, 'I spy with my little eye'. It did not keep them occupied for long. Remus was counting the minutes until he could escape. Peter had fallen asleep and was snoring softly.

They had sat on the cold hard stone floor for about nearly three hours now. Sirius had stopped being able to feel his ass a long time ago. James had also fallen asleep. His head was resting on Sirius' shoulder as he slept peacefully, anf Sirius let him sleep. He needed it. Nightmares continued to haunt him and only the presence of either Sirius' or Remus' seemed to help. Peter only made him more aggravated. They had given up trying to sleep separately. They had pushed all their beds together to make one big bed. Not only did it keep the nightmares at bay it also gave them a whole lot more extra space.

"I think it is safe now." Remus said softly. He gently nudged Peter awake. Sirius flicked James' nose lightly. The effect was instantaneous. James face screwed up into a small grimace before he blinked awake. Flicking his nose was the most effective way of waking him up even when he was having a nightmare. Sirius was eternally grateful for having found that out. It spared him a few of James' heart wrenching pleas. He suppressed a shudder at the memory.

"Is it time?" Peter asked with a yawn.

"Yes, it is time." Sirius answered with a broad grin.

"Good!" James answered. Carefully they shuffled towards the wall.

"Anguitenens." James said loudly, as he pronounced the Latin word correctly. Sirius let a small grin of success slip onto his features as the way towards the Slytherin common room opened. After they stepped through they shed the cloak so that they could move freely without breaking each other accidentally.

Well, it was very green, that was the first thought that popped into Sirius' head. The lamps' lights were green just like the chairs. It seemed the common room was partly beneath the lake. If one looked out of the windows, they could see into the lake. It gave the room a greenish light. It was dark and grand but also cold. The warm and homey atmosphere the Gryffindor common room displayed was utterly missing. He would have never been happy here.

"I found the boy dormitories!" Peter exclaimed. James made a motion with his hand to remind Peter to be quiet. Remus was still staring out of the windows, which were darker during the night but one could still see into the lake. Sirius collected Remus by simply pulling him along, which didn't make Remus all that happy

They opened a door on the left side of the common room. Behind it there was a long narrow hallway illuminated by green burning torches lined on the stone walls. There were seven doors, and on each door a roman number was engraved on a sliver plaque.

"The number seem to be the years." Remus murmured.

"That means we need the last door with the number seven." Peter added. Sirius rolled his eyes at the obviousness whereas James nodded. As silently as possible they opened the door. The sound of gentle waves could be heard. The windows of the dormitory showed the ground of the lake. Five beds stood in the room the deep green drapes were pulled close on each one of them. As silently as possible the peeked inside and closed them again.

"Found Malfoy!" Sirius whisper-called from the last bed.

"Then let's do it!" James pulled back his sleeve as a devilish grin slipped onto his face. A little payback for all the trouble Malfoy senior had put Harry through. James snickered quietly as he imagined Malfoy's face when he woke up the next morning to find his hair in a brilliant shade of orange with pink ribbons braided into it. His skin was turned bright green to match. Sirius was busy changing his clothes from black and green into brilliant pink, canary yellow and neon orange. Colours that just screamed kill me now. Peter was putting Muggle glue, that Sirius had knicked from Evans, into his shoes and on his bag. Remus was exchanging his toothpaste with shoe paste and changing the titles of every single one of his books, not to mention making his prefect badge invisible.

"Who wants to do the honours?" James whispered. Peter's hand shot up. With a grin James handed the bright red marker, also taken from Evans without asking, to Peter. Carefully as not to wake Malfoy up, Peter got to work till Malfoy's forehead was sprouting the words 'I am a royal git'.

"All right, good job. Let's get out of here." Remus whispered and as quietly as they had sneaked in they sneaked back out. Back in the common room they immediately made their way over to the girls door. James grabbed Sirius hand before he could touch the door knob.

"Do you really think they did not put some protection against boys on it?" James exclaimed as quietly as possible.

"Then how are we supposed to get inside?" Peter whispered back so fast that he nearly stumbled over his own words.

"Let me try." James whispered softly.

"No way!" Sirius protested with a quiet hiss. Remus shook his head in agreement with Sirius

"We don't know what could happen. You could get hurt!" James rolled his eyes and ignored Sirius' protest. After all he knew what would happen, he just couldn't tell the others. He reached out towards the doorknob before any of them could stop him. As soon as he touched it the knob grew warmer and warmer. He knew what would happen any second now as quickly as possible he pulled on the knob opening the door. With a small creak it swung inwards.

"Ouch!" James hissed quietly as he pulled his now bleeding hand back. A small drop of blood was oozing out of the two puncture wounds. A snake had bitten him. The door knob had changed into a bundle of snakes that were now hissing loudly.

"I told you so! Let me see." Sirius grabbed James' hand while cursing softly. He inspected the bite marks with a small frown. Remus took his hand from Sirius' grasp to inspect it himself. Sirius glared at James.

"Doesn't seem to be too deep." Remus said quietly. He was the one of them with the most amount of medical knowledge.

"We should hurry, I think the snakes send out some sort of alarm." James whispered not all that concerned with his injury. The snakes were not poisonous so he was fine. Sirius sent him a dark look that clearly said that they would talk later. James didn't particular care. Better him than them. Damn, that sounded like something that Sirius would think.

They quickly pushed the door open. They were careful not to come within range of the snakes. As soon as they were in the hallway James gently pushed the door close and threw the invisibility cloak over them and just in time. One of the doors in the hallway opened and an enraged looking seventh year girl came rushing out of the door. Luckily it was not Bellatrix but a sleepy Perfect. A wand was clutched tightly in her hands. The four boys held their breath as she rushed past them towards the door. With enough force to nearly pull it from its hinges, she opened the door to come face to face with nothing. She glanced around suspiciously but there was no sign of anybody. She closed the door again. She walked back towards her room all the while yawning and muttering about false alarms. The four Gryffindors let out breaths of relief.

"That could have gone seriously wrong." Remus muttered as he leaned back against the wall with a small breath of relief.

"Thank Merlin, for your cloak." Sirius muttered as he nudged James, who grinned at him.

"So, which cousin first?" Peter piped up, still trying to shake of the scare that they had just gotten.

"Narcissa." Sirius answered as he made his way over to the sixth years' room. They were even more careful as they sneaked into the room. It was not hard to find Sirius' female cousin at all. She had the first bed right next to the door and her drapes were not pulled close. Sirius snickered at her appearance.

"Can't we just make her go like this?" He whispered with a gleeful grin. Narcissa had some kind of green slime on her face, probably some sort of beauty mask. The stuff looked horrendous and also smelled quite horrible. Her hair was tied back and she was snoring, something James had not expected from the dignified future Ms. Malfoy.

"Can we use a permanent sticking charm on her mask?" Remus asked James quietly. They had learned the charm together with the colour changing charm (James pretended he had seen his father use it a lot, as he knew how important that charm would be for them). James still thought that muggle glue was better, since it surprised purebloods such as the future Malfoys quite a bit, but he just shrugged with his shoulders. Sirius interpreted that as a yes so he simply did it. James turned her hair a nice bright lime-green. Her skin received a slight purple tan. And he made her hair into one curly gigantic entangled mess. Remus was busy changing the contents of her perfumes into vile smelling liquids. He also changed all the colours of her make-up and hid her wand. Peter changed the colour of all her jewellery and he hid a lot of her other stuff. He put some of the muggle glue beneath the soles of her shoes. Sirius was busy changing the colours of her clothes. A lot of gold, kill-me-now orange, bright turquoise and a nice dash of neon pink to complete the horrible colour regime. Her shampoo was exchanged with mustard and her toothpaste with a potion that would colour her teeth bright red if they had brewed it correctly. If not he wasn't so sure what would happen.

"Who wants to do the honours?" James asked again with a broad grin. All of them turned towards Remus who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Peter pressed the marker into Remus' hand.

The werewolf boy (not that Sirius and Peter knew that) looked like he seriously considered the idea of fleeing. They nudged him till he relented and leaned over Narcissa's forehead. Careful, 'narcissistic snake' was written over her green slimy mask in bright bold red letters. As silently and quickly as possible they made their exit.

"Now onto dear cousin Bella." Sirius look darkened and as he spit out her name. James nodded. He shared his sentiment. He hated her. She had killed Sirius, tortured Alice and Frank, hurt Hermione and hurt his son. Nothing could redeem her in his eyes.

They silently entered the room of the seventh year girls. Bellatrix's bed was not hard to find especially not with the books of torture laying around it. A dark feeling could be felt just by being close to her. James shuddered, but he ignored the feeling as he started his spell work. Golden hair and red skin, Gryffindor colours that would for sure enrage her. Bright pink ribbons were braided into her hair. Sirius hid her wand, exchanged her books for gardening books and changed the colour of her all black clothes into neon pink, canary yellow, lilac, baby blue and kill-me-now orange. Remus made sure that all of her shoes had a permanent sticking charm on them. Peter exchanged her tooth paste for the colour changing potion. Sirius started going through the books that were laying on her nightstand only to completely freeze up. James looked up from where he was sticking her trunk to the floor when he noticed that Sirius had stopped moving.

"That bloody whore." Sirius' curse was venom filled. It made alarm bells ring in James head. He immediately stopped paying attention to her trunk. He hastily walked over to Sirius side.

"What's going on?" James asked him as stopped next to Sirius. He was holding a grumbled piece of parchment in his hand.

"It's a letter from my dear mother." The word could as well have been the worst kind of curse word from the way Sirius was saying it. James gently pried open Sirius' fist to take the letter from him. James' frown become darker the further he skimmed over the letter.

"How proud she is of her favourite niece, how disappointed she is in me, Narcissa's possible future engagement, how disappointed she is in me, pureblood fanatical thoughts, torture tips and how Regulus is forbidden to have any contact with me." Sirius' voice got harsher and harsher. The last part was what truly agitated him.

"Who is Regulus?" Peter asked. James hadn't heard Remus and him coming over to their side.

"Not here, Gryffindor tower." James murmured as he inclined his head towards the door. The discussion would clearly make Sirius uncomfortable and it should not be held in a place where they could be overheard. The other three nodded. James was the last one out of the door. Before he left he muttered a small spell under his breath that ensured that Bellatrix would only be able to talk backwards. A little nasty spell on the sense it was ridiculously difficult to undo, and that the Marauders would only learn by their last year at Hogwarts. They hastily left the Slytherin dungeon and silently made their way back towards Gryffindor tower. Only when they were safely back in their room did they take off the cloak.

"Okay, so who is Regulus?" James asked Sirius before he could close off again. He obviously knew the answer and so much more than Sirius could imagine. The part of Sirius' brother that was good that Regulus would keep hidden so carefully.

"My little brother." Was Sirius' reply as he brushed a hand through his hair. Once the words had left his mouth it seemed like the floodgates had opened. "He is vulnerable but not weak, scared of things that go against what he has been taught, he adores our parents, soaks up their praise like sponge. He is their perfect little son, always listening to them, always good in their eyes, never protests, never argues, always does as he is told, unlike me."

"Sirius" James murmured as he sat down next to Sirius on his bed. He nudged their shoulders together to offer some sort of comfort.

"We couldn't be more different. Yet he has always come to me when he had a nightmare, a problem or simply wanted some company. He is my baby brother. And now they have forbidden any sort of contact between us. No wonder I never got an answer to my two letters. He is once again listening to orders like the perfect little son he is." Sirius' laugh was hollow.

"Maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe he is not following orders at all." James said softly.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked. There was a small spark of hope shining in his eyes that he had not yet completely lost his little brother to his parents teaching.

"Your parents are just as capable to intercept your letters. He might never have gotten them." James said. "Maybe he believes that you have abandoned him now that you are in Hogwarts." James knew that it was what Regulus had probably thought last time. He had been harsh and cold towards Sirius the whole summer holidays that Sirius had spent at home before escaping to James'.

"I wouldn't abandon him. He is my little brother... But now that I am gone, nothing will stop my parents from sinking their claws deeper into him." Sirius said with a hopeless look.

"True, he needs you. You're the influence that has stopped him from completely surrendering to your parents' teaching." James said.

"They are going to turn him into their perfect little pureblood fanatic." Sirius said with no small amount of misery in his voice.

"Your letters would help but if they are intercepting them..." James was coming up with ideas and quickly discarded them again when they couldn't really hold up, or when they involved thing he couldn't possibly know yet.

"Maybe you could try to use Raleigh instead of Basset?" James wondered out a loud.

"Your parents probably wouldn't recognize James' owl." Remus added.

"You could send it directly to Regulus' window." Peter continued in a small voice as if expecting some rebuke. James just smiled encouragingly at the small boy, who rejoiced on the clear approval.

"Do you roughly remember what you wrote in the first two letters?" James continued asking not giving Sirius the chance to reply to their slowly forming plan.

"I-yes." Sirius answered startled.

"Good, then write them again. And do mention the other two letters. Remus, parchment!" Remus smiled slightly as he handed a few pages of parchment to James. "Peter, quill!"

Peter handed a quill to James who pressed both items into Sirius' hands.

"Now?" Sirius asked sounding truly baffled.

"Yes, now." James' tone booked no room for argument. And Sirius was going to obey, because it was his Headboy/Auror voice. He probably sounded just like his father, which was slightly weird. With one last confused glance Sirius started writing away on the parchment.

"We can bring it to the Owlery before breakfast tomorrow morning." Remus proposed as he grabbed his pyjamas to change in the bathroom. James knew that he was uncomfortable changing in front of them because of his scars.

"Good idea and we should probably go to sleep, it is about half past three." James proposed. It came out slightly unsteady because he had said while he was pulling his shirt over his head. Quickly they got ready for bed as Sirius continued to scribble away on the parchments. When James got out of the bathroom and into his bed, Remus and Peter had already fallen asleep. Their soft and steady breaths filled the room together with the scratching of a quill on parchment.

"James?" Sirius called softly just as James was about to drift off.

"Yes?" James reply was slightly drowsy but he still managed to blink his eyes open to look at Sirius.

"Thanks." Sirius whispered softly with one of his genuine gentle small smiles.

"You're welcome." James whispered back before his eyes slid shut and he fell asleep.

oOo

**A.N.: The chapter turned out to be a bit longer than usual. I hope you enjoy it and reviews are as always welcome. ^^**


	10. Prefects and Defence

Chapter 10

Prefects and Defence

oOo

"Have you tried that one yet?" Alice asked as she smeared another thick load of cherry marmalade on her bread.

"Which one?" Lily answered before taking a sip of her pumpkin juice. Before she had gone to Hogwarts, Lily had never even heard of Pumpkin juice, but now that she had tried it, she'd become quite fond of the weird, orange liquid.

"That one." Alice answered as she pointed at the basket filled with baked goods. "I think that one is with raspberry marmalade but I am not quite sure."

The Great Hall was filled with students leisurely eating their breakfast as they chattered good-naturedly. It was a pleasant and peaceful atmosphere. It had been a pleasant atmosphere till the moment the door of the Great Hall burst open. Three seething Slytherin students entered the Great Hall and Lily nearly choked on her pumpkin juice as soon as she saw them. Their appearance was, in one word, surprising. Their hair had the most outrageous colours Lily could think of. Their skin was green, purple and bright red. On their foreheads words were written in bright bold red letters. On the blond girl's face, some green slime clung. The colour of their ropes literally hurt if you stared at them for more than a second. All three had a manic look in their eyes. All four house tables stared at them dumbstruck, as if they were spell bound.

A loud snort echoed in the silent hall. Lily turned her head away from the Slytherin students and searched from where the noise had come from. Sirius Black was shaking, his eyes wide as he held his hand in front of his mouth to block the laughter that tried to escape. His three friends looked no better. Pettigrew was giggling uncontrollably. The hand in front of his mouth did not help to suppress the sound. Lupin was bent over trying to contain his laughter and Potter didn't even try. His laughter broke free and once he started his three friends soon joined in. As if a spell had been lifted the whole Great Hall broke into laughter.

The girl with wild (and now bright gold) curls glared at Black with venom clear in her eyes, but as far as Lily had seen, Black just sent her a smirk. It took a while but at some point the Great Hall managed to return to its former relatively tranquil state. Well, it took longer than a little while.

Potter and Black high-fived across the table. Lily could not help but overhear parts of their conversation

"Remy, can we do another one?" Black asked with a pleading tone.

"Please?" Potter added. Lupin sighed, but before he could say anything Pettigrew spoke.

"Please? No one was harmed and everyone laughed."

"Almost everyone." Potter amended. Black laughed gleefully.

"Ugh, fine." Lupin conceded defeat with an amused sigh. Potter and Black cheered loudly.

"We need more stuff then."

"I can write dad, he would give us some supplies." Potter answered.

"Your father would seriously sent us supplies?" Pettigrew asked with something akin to awe.

"Wicked." Sirius' gleeful chortle followed.

"Did you finish the assignment for Slughorn?" At Alice's question, Lily turned her attention away from the very suspicious conversation.

"Yes, Sev and I completed it yesterday evening in the library." Lily answered. It hadn't been an easy assignment but she and Severus had managed to finish it together after a while.

"You are so lucky that both of you know how to brew a potion without it blowing up in your face." Alice complained. Lily had quickly noticed that Alice and Potions were not a good combination. Her potions tended to explode quite spectacularly. It didn't help that her new found friend was as clumsy as someone could possibly be. Alice more often than not fell out of bed in the morning, tumbled down the stairs and fell over invisible objects. She had also already managed to break three glasses, one mug and pull off the shower curtain completely with the rod. It was no wonder that she had fallen off her broom.

At the thought of their flying lesson, her gaze once again strayed over to James Potter and his friends. He had been surprising during the lessons. Him helping out a Slytherin girl had been a nice surprise. She was once again brought out of her thoughts by a gentle tap on her shoulders. She smiled brightly as she turned around.

"Morning, Sev."

"Morning, Lily." Her childhood friend smiled softly at her as he tried to keep his bangs from falling into his eyes. "Ready for Defence?"

"Sure, just give me a moment." She turned back towards Alice, who still had half a pumpkin pie in her mouth, waved at her to go. She sent her an apologetic look before following Severus out of the great hall.

Alice watched her friend leave as she swallowed. She didn't understand at all what Lily saw in Snape but she withheld her judgement, principally because they had been friends for a while apparently, and she had just gotten to know Lily. With a shrug, she took another sip of her pumpkin juice before taking one more blueberry muffin out of the plate right in front of her. They were utterly divine and Alice already saw a future addiction on the horizon.

With a small self satisfied smile she finished the muffin. She grabbed her bag and just as she was about to get up, her foot got caught in her robe. She stumbled over the bench. Well, there was the accident she had somehow managed to avoid all morning.

Almost blindly she grabbed hold of the next best thing, and, apparently, she managed to grab hold of some kind of fabric. It managed to stop her descend towards the floor.

"Are you all right?" A voice asked that seemed to be attached to the fabric she was holding onto.

"I am okay, that always happens." She answered still slightly breathless as she continued to hang suspended in mid-air.

"Okay?" The voice sounded slightly befuddled. "Then could you let go of my pants?" Alice slowly looked up and indeed she was holding onto a trouser leg which was attached to a boy with short brown hair. He had an embarrassed look on his face as he held onto his pants to stop her from pulling them down.

Alice actually squeaked and let go as if she had been burned. Which resulted in her continuing to fall towards the floor. A pair of arms caught her before she could 'greet the floor with her face', as Black had put it.

"Sure that you're all right?" The boy asked with a bemused expression. She looked up from his arms and Alice just knew that she was beet red. She was utterly mortified. She was thankful for the small mercy of not having pulled down his pants.

He helped her back onto her feet. He was probably only one year older than her but he already quite tall. Especially next to her because she was not one of the tallest of her year, in fact, she was actually quite little for her age.

"Thanks" Alice's reply was nothing more than a very flustered murmur. Internally she cursed herself . Horrible first impression. He just smiled at her. His gaze left her when someone called for him.

"Frank! Hurry up, mate! Professor McGonagall is going to kill us!" Someone bellowed from the entrance.

"Coming!" He called back before he turned towards Alice again. "Gotta go. Try to be more careful." He turned around and ran towards his friends. Alice blinked after him before she realized that she would most likely be late for defence. She ran out of the Great Hall.

oOo

"Did you finish the Transfiguration essay?" Lily asked as she tried to balance her books in her arms, which caused Severus to take the books from her. She sent him a small grateful smile. Had anybody else done it she would probably have complained, but she trusted Sev around her books.

"Not yet, I am still having some issues with the basic concept." Severus said with a small shake of his head.

"Me too but apparently all of us have problems with the concept. Well, almost all of us." Lily amended as she noticed Potter and his friends trailing a distance behind them. They were laughing loudly, the sound echoing in the corridor. They took a left turn instead of going directly to the classroom. Lily hoped for them that they would not be late otherwise they would certainly cost some points.

A dark look passed over Severus face before it cleared again and he asked her about her opinion on Herbology.

oOo

Remus realized that it had been a really bad idea to take what James considered a short cut. Especially when it ended with a furious Bellatrix Black stopping them at wand point. Only James' hand around Sirius' wrist had stopped him from punching his cousin.

"_I wonk taht siht si rouy tluaf! __I ma gniog ot redrum uoy!_" Remus blinked startled. He hadn't expected her to speak backwards. That had not been part of their plan. Maybe the teeth colouring potion had turned out faulty? Anyways, it took quite a lot away from her menacing glower.

"I am sorry dear cousin, but could you repeat that?" Sirius asked sweetly. He was just as surprised but hid it beneath a sneer.

"rotiartdoolB!" She snarled as he raised her wand threateningly. Remus quickly pulled his own wand and pointed it at her and Sirius' and James' wands were already raised. Sirius looked ready to attack her at any given moment should she so much as twitch. (Not that any of them could do much, Remus thought).

"Now, Now Bella aren't you overreacting?" A voice drawled from behind her. She didn't turn around but her expression darkened further.

"teg tsol, repraH!" Bellatrix hissed darkly.

"Really that is not very nice!" A fifth year Slytherin walked forward. His wand in his hand. A silver glinting Prefect badge on his chest. He had dark brown messy curls and his cold eyes watched Bellatrix blankly."Just as it is not very nice to threaten first years."

"evaeL!"

"Ah no can do. You should be the one to leave." Bellatrix's glare darkened even more than any of them had thought possible.

"Or should I tell McGonagall about the incident last year?" He drawled with a bored expression on his face. "The one with that poor second year Hufflepuff? Or better yet the one that happened in the Library in the forbidden section?"

With an angry snarl she whirled around and left them, her bright orange cloak billowing behind her in a dramatic fashion that was severely ruined by the bright colour.

"What just happened?" Peter whispered quietly.

"Truthfully? I have no idea." Remus answered softly.

"Potter!" The fifth year boy said as he walked towards them. James inwardly stiffened as the boy stopped mere inches in front of him. Sirius stepped closer to James' side, ready to defend him if he needed it. He barely stopped himself from growling threateningly at the older boy. The Slytherin smirked at the action.

"So you were the one that helped Dot." The boy drawled and his cold features softened slightly.

The four Gryffindors looked at each other in confusion. "Dot?" James asked after a while. The Slytherin rolled with his eyes in clear expiration at their slowness.

"Dot, Dori, Dorothy whatever you like to call the menace that is my little sister." The Slytherin said. Even though he called her menace, there was a certain amount of fondness implied in his tone.

"Ed!" A voice called and the Slytherin sighed dramatically.

"You're late, Samantha!" He called back in an annoyed voice.

"Do not talk to me about being late, Edmund! And stop calling me Samantha, I hate that name!" The fifth year Hufflepuff girl, Samantha, came to a stop beside Edmund favouring him with a dark look. She was short and seemed very petit next to the tall boy. Her hair was an untameable mess of blond waves that escaped her braid. Her round face was covered in freckles. She had a small scar beneath her right eye that became more noticeable as she glared at Edmund. A Prefect badge was attached to her robes."Who was the one who came three hours late to Prefect duties because he had to gather blackmail material?!"

Edmund rolled with his eyes in answer. A long suffering look passed over his features.

"Do not roll your eyes at me Ed! And what on earth did you do to Bellatrix?! Besides the colour change, which obviously wasn't you since you wouldn't know a prank till it bit you in the ass." She continued "She just stormed past me without attacking or verbally assaulting me even once! That has never happened in all my five years here!" It almost sounded as if she was insulted by not being threatened by Bellatrix.

"I didn't do much." He shrugged with his shoulders.

"He just threatened her." James supplied.

"Ed! You blackmailed her, again?" Samantha asked with exasperation, not even looking at the four younger boys.

"Wait, what do you mean again?!" Sirius asked suddenly. The idea of someone blackmailing his cousin greatly appealed to him. It seemed to be the first time that she really noticed the first year Gryffindors standing in front of Edmund.

"You don't want to know." She said with a grimace and an eye roll. She looked back at Edmund and a small light of understanding seemed to dawn in her eyes. "So who of them is 'Jamie Potter' as Dot had so politely called him?" She asked after a moment looking at the first years. Remus, Sirius and Peter pointed at James simultaneously. James just rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for helping Dot." Samantha said with smile. "I am Sam Wakefield. This one here is Ed Harper, Dot's annoying older brother. If you have any problems you can ask us."

"Please don't" Ed said with an annoyed sigh.

"Oh, we will." Sirius said taking great pleasure out of Ed 's tormented expression.

"Ignore him" Sam said as she rammed an elbow into Ed's side. He winced.

"Sam, don't you have Ancient runes now?" Ed asked, his voice clearly portraying his hope to get rid of his... friend? Remus wasn't quite sure whether the two were friends or not.

"Yes and don't try to escape since you have that class with me." She glared at him again before she grabbed his wrist and promptly dragged him away.

"What was that?" James asked after a moment feeling slightly dumbfounded. He had known the two Prefects only fleetingly last time so he couldn't quite remember their interactions all that well. He just remembered that one better not antagonize Sam or else one could be quickly thrown over her shoulder. He remembered that he and Sirius had held quite some respect for the petit Prefect whenever she had roared at them for breaking one or another rule while Ed stood in the background looking utterly bored. The Slytherin had caught them more than once. Sometimes they had even thought he had eyes and ears everywhere, which was probably not all that far from the truth.

"I have no idea, mate." Sirius conceded with a shrug of his shoulders.

"The only thing I know for sure is that we are definitely late for Defence." Remus commented.

"Bloody hell!" James exclaimed. They hastily made their way through the corridor. Luckily no one scolded them for running at high speed towards their classroom.

oOo

Lily scowled as she watched Potter and his friends rush through the door, hasty apologies tumbling from their lips till no one understood a word they were saying. Sev rolled his eyes next to her, an annoyed frown marring his features. Professor Daugherty was not amused. Elethea Daugherty was a woman whom one should not annoy. Alice had already received a scolding for being late, so Lily could only imagine what she would do to the boys. She regarded the boys coldly from behind her square glasses.

"One at a time gentlemen." She said as she crossed her arms. Professor Daugherty was a thin and tall woman. It seemed as if one good wind gust would be able to throw her off of her feet. Her grey hair was cut short and it barely reached her chin.

"We apologize for our lateness, we lost track of time when Prefects Wakefield and Harper asked us a question regarding the incident during our flying lesson." Potter explained calmly. He did not seem to be all that nervous beneath her harsh scrutiny, unlike Pettigrew who seemed to be about ready to faint at any given moment. Lily heard Dorothy Harper let out a sound of embarrassed annoyance a few rows behind her, which caused her to glance towards her. Harper was hiding her face in her hands but her ears were a startling red.

"Ah, yes. I've heard of what happened. Still, next time refrain from discussing such things so shortly before class." Professor Daugherty said. Her demeanor was not gentle in any way, but she seemed to have decided not to say anything further. Potter and his friends quickly took their seats in the last row of the classroom. Lily didn't quite understand how they always manage to weasel out of trouble. It was not the first class they had been late for, and yet they had not been punished in any class. They always somehow managed to avoid it and from the dark look on Sev's face, he was displeased by that fact nearly as much as she was.

James sighed and pulled out his Defence books. It was a small wonder that Daugherty had not docked house points from them. He had always remembered her with a certain amount of fondness. She had been quite a good teacher. None of his Defence professors had ever been as horrible as Harry's had been, but she was still one of the best. James ignored her lecture in favour of writing a letter to his father. He gave a brief summary of the days before adding a request for some prank supplies. While he was busy writing, Professor Daughtery started talking about the Knockback Jinx.

"All right, Now on to actual spell practice. Two students will be assigned to one training dummy. The pairs will be drawn randomly." With those words she ended her elaboration of the jinx. At her words, groans could be heard from every student. James sincerely hoped that Snape would not be paired with any of his friends.

Their professor ignored the feeble protests of her students and started pulling pieces of parchment out of a small box.

"Mr. Snape and Mr. Avery please take the first practice dummy." She called. With an annoyed sigh, Snape stood up and walked over to the dummy. Avery was already waiting for him there.

"Mr. Black and Ms. Harper." James let out a small sigh of relief. His best mate could have been paired with someone a lot worse. Sirius sent him a small cheeky grin before sauntering over to his practise dummy. Harper was already waiting with her arms crossed. No doubt she would question him just what her brother had wanted from them.

"Mr. Pettigrew and Mr. Mulciber, the third dummy please." James suppressed a small wince. Great, Peter had to be the one paired with a future Death Eater. This could be really bad. It would undermine all of Pete's confidence again. He would have to keep an eye on that. He barely registered the fact that the professor had paired Alice and Remus together. He was too busy staring at Mulciber with narrowed eyes.

"Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter." James looked up startled. He didn't remember being paired with Lily. He might have simply forgotten after all it had been years. Or maybe things had changed. Great, now he was starting to get really nervous. He really needed to be careful. Lily was very capable of hating him and he really didn't want her to hate him quite as much. With a small sigh, he got up and made his way towards the Dummy.

Lily led out an annoyed sigh. Just her luck, she had to be paired with Potter. She grabbed her wand and made her way over to where Potter was studying their dummy. She silently stood next to Potter as the other students were paired up. Potter's gaze would stray over his friends as if making sure that they were really there. His gaze more often than not landed on Peter. Then he would wear a worried frown.

"Pettigrew will do fine- Stop worrying, Potter." Lily commented with an eye roll. It seemed as if he had no confidence at all in his friend. Potter jumped slightly as if he had forgotten that she was even there. Rude. His gaze turned towards and he looked at her with a sheepish expression.

"Ah, I know Peter will do fine. It's not really him I am worried about. Mulciber is a-" Potter stopped talking as if he swallowed a word he had originally wanted to use before continuing. "Let's just say that Mulciber can be slightly unpleasant to work with." Potter amended with a small frown.

"There is no reason to expect the worst of him you know." Lily scolded lightly. She disliked any kind of prejudice. Especially if one knew next to nothing of the other person.

"I know that but I also know a bit more than I want to about Mulciber" Potter said with a small shrug and a mildly disgusted expression. Lily frowned with slight confusion but she never got to ask because at that moment Professor Daugherty called for their attention.

"All right students, I will now demonstrate the wand movement for the Knockback Jinx called Flipendo. After that I want each of you to practise the movement a few times before using the Jinx on the Dummy. Under no circumstances are you allowed to use the jinx on your fellow students." At her stern stare all the students nodded. Lily carefully copied the movement the professor made. Potter, beside her, did the same even though his heart did not seem to be in it as he kept glancing at his friends. After they all had copied the wand movement a few times, she allowed them to finally practice the jinx on the dummy.

"Ladies first." Potter said. She distantly heard the words echo from Black's lips as well. Potter had said it with all seriousness whereas in Black's there had been a mocking quality. Lily choose not to dwell on it, so instead she turned towards the dummy and raised her wand.

"Flipendo!" She called as she made the wand movement. A small spark of blue left the tip of her wand but that was it, nothing more happened. She scowled at her wand. "Can I try again?"

"You can try it for as long as you want." Potter said with a small shrug as he watches her try the Jinx over and over again. Every time there are only blue sparks. Lily can feel her temper rising. She raises her wand for one more angry try. She would have shouted the spell had not a hand enclosed her wrist from behind.

"Easy there, Evans." Potter said calmly from behind her. She hadn't even heard him step closer. She turned her head to glare at him, but was stopped as she saw him looking at the dummy and not her.

"Don't let your frustration rule you. Angry spells can often have nasty consequences... or at least that is what mum always tells me. Just let the magic flow through you and will it to hit the dummy." Potter commented lightly. Underneath the smile on his face there was an unsettling seriousness. He released her wrist and stepped back before she could get truly mad at him. Potter then looked at her, watching her with a small secretive smile. Lily turned away from him and took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Flipendo!" A jet of light blue light leaves her wand and knocks into the dummy pushing it backwards. Lily let a proud grin spread over her face.

"See? That was bloody perfect!" Potter exclaimed with a broad grin. Her answering grin was something she really didn't think about. It was an automatic response to the bright smile he threw her way.

"Excellent Ms. Evans, 10 points for Gryffindor." Professor Daugherty said from behind her before she walked away to look at the progress of the other students. Lily grinned pleased.

"Your turn, Potter." Potter nodded at her before raising his wand. Yet before he could even utter the spell a voice drifted over to them.

"Are you sure you're not a Squib?" Mulciber sneered as he looked darkly at Peter. The rest of the words that he threw at Peter Lily couldn't quite understand. She just saw Pettigrew growing red in shame. She glanced at Potter. His expression was murderous. Yet, before he or any of his friends could do something to protect their friend, professor Daugherty intercepted. She scolded Mulciber before turning her attention towards Peter to help him with the spell. Lily let out a small breath of relief. She turned her back to them and looked back at Potter, who was taking a deep breath before raising his wand.

"Flipendo!" The words were spoken calmly but what happened was the true mirror of his emotional turmoil. A jet of blue like hit the dummy with enough force to almost break it in half and make it fly backwards. As if in slow motion, Lily watched as the broken dummy flew into the direction of the window behind it. With a resounding crash, the dummy broke through the window and descended towards the ground below. Deadly silence descended upon the classroom. Potter was staring at his wand in surprise. Lily was openly gaping and Black lost it somewhere in the background. He was nearly howling with laughter.

"Mr. Potter." Professor Daugherty said with a scowl and her arms crossed. She couldn't suppress her admiration, though. Potter turned around and answered her with a sheepish "Oops?"

oOo

**A.N.: I hope you enjoy this chapter and reviews are as always welcome. Oh and just as warning my pacing is a little slow it will get faster as soon as the basics are covered. **


	11. Practice makes Perfect

Chapter 11

Practice makes perfect

oOo

James blinked at his wand with surprise. This was the second time one of his spells had been overpowered, the first time having been the incident with the Howler. He might have been brought back with all the power he had when he had been an adult, but as it seemed as if he didn't have the control he needed for that amount of power. He knew the spells and wand movements by heart but how much magic he had to put into a spell was apparently the tricky part. This could potentially become a serious problem. He could accidentally kill someone if he was not careful. If that spell had been directed at a living human being, it could have injured them seriously, maybe even killed them. He was a ticking time bomb in a way, one startling movement and he could blow up. It was not a pleasant thought at all. At least the smaller spells he had used for the prank hadn't turned out overpowered. Now, he just had to figure out why that was happening and how he could fix it.

"Mr. Potter." Startled, he turned around and came face to face with his displeased and slightly awed professor.

The sheepish "Oops?" slipped out before he could stop it.

"Could you perhaps explain why you catapulted the dummy out of the window?" Daugherty asked with her arms crossed. James winced slightly.

"I may have used too much power?" James asked as he nervously ran a hand through his hair. James looked at the broken window and muttered "Way too much"

"Correct. This is a perfect example why I did not allow you to use it on each other." At his professor's words James felt all eyes on him. He ignored their attention, after all, he had a lot of practice in doing that (once he started not to like the attention the first time around, that is). Professor Daugherty looked at him with a thoughtful expression.

"Did you have previous issues with overpowering your spells?" She asked after a moment.

"Yes," James answered after a moment. He decided it couldn't be a terrible thing to admit, could it? "Some of my spells have had... unexpected effects. I think I need to work on my control." James concluded at last as he frowned at his wand. His eleven year old body was not used to the power of his adult body. It made his magic unstable and he had no idea how to work on that. He hoped he did not have to start the daily mediations again. It had sucked when he had to do that in order to learn Occlumency. Not that he had been excellent at that, he and Sirius have never been good at sitting still. Remus, on the other hand, would have been brilliant at it. Now that he thought of it, James made a mental note that he should probably refresh his Occlumency as well, it had been dead useful during the war. Even though he could only put up minimal defence and realize when someone was using Legilimency on him, it had been enough during the war. It would be good to get a head start on that. He needed to add it to his list.

Professor Daugherty nodded before she forced everyone to interrupt their staring and go back to work. James was still wracking his brain of a way to control his magic better without having to go back to mediating. The more he used his magic, the easier it should become to control it, he hoped. Maybe some sort of control exercises? He would need to get the others help, and he had to come up with a plan on how to… not explain why this was happening.

"Potter, are you doing it on purpose?" Lily's angry voice startled him out of his contemplation. He blinked and met her glare with a look of utter confusion.

"Am I doing what on purpose?" James asked in utter confusion. He had no idea what Lily was talking about. She stared at him assessing him for something. James had no idea what she was looking for, and he showed it, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Never mind." Lily said after a moment. She turned away with a small look of embarrassment on her face.

"What?" James asked her again in confusion and curiosity.

"It wasn't important anyways." Lily waved him off.

"Come on Evans, you've made me curious." James whined as he tried to catch her gaze, which was easier said than done since she was avoiding looking him in the face. Curious behaviour indeed, since Lily was never one to just let go like that.

"Ever heard of the saying '_Curiosity killed the cat_'?" She asked still avoiding his eyes. James smiled, remembering very well when that same girl had told him the saying, back when they all had been way too curious about baby Harry's gender.

"I might have but since I am not a cat that doesn't truly apply to me now, does it? So, will you tell me?" James said with a broad grin, shifting so she couldn't avoid him anymore.

"No, Potter." Lily rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a grin.

"Not even if I say pretty please?" James asked with a small pout.

"Not even then."

"Aw come on Evans, you cannot leave a guy hanging like that!" James didn't truly care that he was whining. It was way too much fun to banter with Lily like this.

"I can and I will!" Lily's answer was said in a haughty tone that made James try to suppress his giggles. The haughty tone sounded so wrong in the tones of an eleven year old Lily. Nothing like in the future.

James didn't notice his best mate's smug expression that looked a little bit like the look of a cat that caught the canary. Nor did he notice Snape's dark look in his direction.

oOo

Regulus stared blankly at the pages of the book that was lying in his lap. He had tried to read the same page three times already, and yet he couldn't truly concentrate on it at all. The words could as well have been written in another language, one he somehow recognized but really didn't understand. He let the book drop from his hands and let himself wall onto the soft comforts of the dark emerald quilt spread over his bed.

He was lonely. There was no one left. Only Kreacher remained in the house, and, despite the fact that he liked the elf, he wasn't exactly nice to stay around.

Sirius had abandoned him, all too happy to forget him. The Lions had taken his brother from him. He knew that Sirius was never truly happy here. He was untamable and free, nothing like their family. Nothing like him. Maybe that's why he left him behind. Still, Sirius was his brother and it hurt that he could simply forget him like this. It hurt. Regulus curled himself into a small ball lying in his gigantic four poster bed.

A knock resounded but Regulus ignored it, thinking it was nothing. Yet the knocking didn't stop. It was a persistent knocking and it did not come from his door. With a small frown, he sat up. He looked around only to realize that the knocking came from his window. Slowly he got up and opened it.

Startled he took a step backwards when a huge long-eared owl flew into his room as if it owned it. It landed on his chair in the corner. Its yellow eyes seemed to look straight into his soul. It was a beautiful owl, but it certainly looked far too… judgmental to his taste.

"Hello, are you sure you have the correct room?" Regulus asked gently trying not to spook the animal. The owl tilted its head as if saying that he was an idiot. Attached to its legs was a thick envelope.

"Is it for me?" Regulus asked and again the owl looked at him as if he was slow. Carefully he untied the envelope from the owl's leg. Yellow eyes watched him closely. Apparently the owl was in no hurry.

On the front of the envelope his name was written in a messy scrawl he knew all too well. Sirius. He ripped the envelope open and in his hurry, he dropped it. Five pages of scrawny writing fell out of the envelope and Regulus hastily picked them up. He clutched them to his chest as if they were a small lifeline.

With slightly shaking hands he started reading them out loud, only the owl as his audience as the words his brother had written him tumbled from his lips in a hushed whisper.

"_Dear Reg, ..."_

oOo

"So, you and Evans." Sirius commented casually. Or at least what Sirius thought that was casual, but James obviously knew him better than that, so, to him, Sirius just sounded smug, if anything. He was sitting on his bed in his pyjamas surrounded by apples. James barely managed to avoid the apple Sirius had thrown at his head.

"What about me and Evans?" James answered. He decided to play dumb. It wouldn't work for very long but at least it would be entertaining to see Sirius get frustrated.

"You know exactly what I mean." Sirius answered with narrowed eyes before he picked up another apple and threw it in the direction of James.

"_Flipendo_!" James called and watched as the blue light hit the apple and knocked it backwards. James noted with satisfaction that the apples no longer exploded when he hit them with the spell. No more unintended applesauce splattered everywhere. He had already had to change his pyjamas twice. They had stolen a few (okay more than a few… actually a lot of) apples from dinner. They were the targets for his spell practice.

"Actually, I don't know what you mean." James commented as he watched Remus throw another apple into his direction before going back to his book. Remus was leaning against one of the post. His quilt nearly pulled up till it reached his nose. "_Flipendo_!" this time the jinx missed the apple and ended up hitting the old chandelier. It started swinging but there seemed to be no danger of it falling onto their unsuspecting heads. James frowned. His aim was atrocious, another effect of basically having changed bodies.

"You... _agh_. Come on James, you aren't that thick!" Sirius whined.

"Do you know what he is talking about?" James asked with a frown as he turned towards Peter, who had just bitten into an apple. He would have to brush his teeth again. He looked slightly wide eyed at being addressed. He hastily chewed before answering: "Actually, no. I have no idea what he is talking about."

"See!" James exclaimed with a triumphant smirk. Sirius groaned loudly in frustration muttering about stupid oblivious friends.

"James, stop leading Sirius on." Remus commented as he flipped another page in his book.

"But it is so much fun!" James whined with a broad grin. As an answer he was gifted with a pillow to the face from Sirius.

"You have a crush on Evans!" Sirius exclaimed, apparently getting fed up with beating around the bush.

"So?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. Sirius opened and closed his mouth.

"You're supposed to deny it!" Sirius whined, annoyed that his fun was getting ruined.

"And what would that accomplish? Apple, please-" James was internally snickering. It was a bit of payback for all the time Sirius had teased him about Lily. At his words, Remus threw another apple. "_Flipendo_!" Satisfied James watched as the apple was knocked back mid-flight.

"Your turn, Sirius." James said with a grin. He flopped down onto his bed and grabbed one of the apples that were laying everywhere. He threw it into Sirius' general direction.

"_Flipendo_!" Sirius scowled darkly when he missed the falling apple. James knew that Sirius would practice relentlessly till he managed to hit every apple thrown his way. Sirius was stubborn, very stubborn.

"Pete? Don't you want to practice as well?" James asked as he threw another apple into the general direction of Sirius.

"I wouldn't hit it anyways." Peter's answer was nothing more than a self-conscious murmur. James felt the strong urge to strangle Mulciber once again. Any kind of confidence Peter had built in the last few days had evaporated like smoke.

"True you wouldn't be able to hit the moving targets at the moment. Look at me, I wasn't able to hit a single apple without it exploding and now I can hit them without creating applesauce. You just need some practice, after all, practice makes perfect." James said with a grin. He jumped up and proceeded to pull Peter from his bed.

"Maybe he should start with hitting unmoving targets first?" Remus said as he calmly threw another apple into the direction of Sirius. "_Flipendo_!" Sirius whooped when his spell managed to hit the apple. The apple got a crack but at least it hadn't exploded. James ignored the smug grin Sirius send his way and proceeded to throw the stuff that was still in his trunk onto his bed.

"All right, use my trunk as target." James patted his now empty trunk before stepping back. Peter took a deep breath before raising his wand.

"_Fleependo_!" Not even a tiny blue spark erupted from Peter's wand tip. Peter let his head hang dejectedly.

"Your curve at the end is not pronounced enough." Remus said suddenly. He stopped throwing apples at Sirius and came over to Peter's side. "Watch, this is you wand movement." Remus swung his wand. "And this is how it is supposed to look. _Flipendo_!" A jet of blue light burst from the tip and knocked James' empty trunk over. James quickly put back into an upright position. "See? Now try again."

Peter nodded and pulled out his wand to try the spell again. "_Fleependo_!" Blue sparks erupted from the tip of Peter's wand.

"That was already better now a little tweak on your pronunciation and it should work. Its pronounced like this: _fli-PEN-doh_. Emphasis on the middle part." Remus elaborated and James was once again strongly reminded of why Remus had been such an excellent defence professor. Curse the curse on the defence position. Better yet, curse Voldy.

"_Flipendo_!" A jet of blue light erupted from the tip of his wand and hit the trunk making it rock dangerously. Peter beamed.

"Good job!" Remus said with a grin.

"See? I knew that you could do it." James proudly ruffled Peter's hair.

"Awesome, Pete!" Sirius laughed and swung an arm around Peter's shoulder. "You are no Squib and Mulciber is so going to eat his words next lesson." Peter's face was a mixture of awe and embarrassment from the praise. Praise was something he rarely ever received. Sirius patted his shoulder before turning towards Remus.

"So Remy, ready to get some apples thrown at ya?" Sirius asked with devious grin. Remus sighed but let himself be herded back into the middle of the room to get apples thrown at him.

"Try the spell on my trunk a few more times. After that you can try the apples." James said with a grin as he picked up an apple Remus had missed. Peter nodded and went back to the trunk to practice the spell. James threw the apple in Remus' direction before sprawling himself across his bed. He only wanted to close his eyes for a few minutes. He was tired, sleeping had been a luxury during the war and even if he was able to sleep, dark and warped images haunted him. Still in the end he was lulled to sleep by the sound of his friends voices laughing and casting spells.

oOo

A nearly silent scream tore Sirius forcefully from his dreams. He blinked blearily a few times before realization set in. James. With a curse, he untangled himself from his blanket. Hastily, he made his way to James' side. Even in the dark he could see that James was sitting upright in bed. His chest was heaving. A small breath of relief left him at seeing James awake. At last he didn't have to forcefully pull him out of a nightmare this time.

"James?" Sirius asked softly. There was no response. James continued to stare blankly ahead. He tried calling his name again but there was no reaction. This had never happened before. Usually James was alert and responsive as soon as he was awake. This unresponsiveness scared him.

"James?" Sirius asked softly and slowly moved closer trying not to startle him. A sudden moan was ripped out of James' mouth, making Sirius freeze. James bent forward and clutched his head as small noises of distress left his lips. He was shaking, trembling like a leave in the wind.

"Shit!" Sirius cursed. Remus and Peter were still asleep. Remus would know what to do but he was asleep and Sirius wouldn't leave James' side not even to get Remus. So he had to improvise, as he so often did.

"James!" James' name fell from his lips in a harsh whisper. He grabbed James' shoulders and whirled him around. Startled, James raised his head. It felt like a punch in the gut when he saw the tears that were trailing down James' cheeks.

"Sirius?" James' voice was a mere croak. It hurt to see his best mate so rattled by his nightmares.

"Yeah, it's me mate." Sirius whispered as his friend's glassy hazel eyes searched his face. The next moment James sacked forward into Sirius. Awkwardly Sirius patted his shoulder as James leaned against him. His hand was balled into Sirius' shirt, holding on as if afraid to let go.

"Promise me, Promise me Sirius, Padfoot, that you won't hunt the traitor." The words were said in a broken voice alight with desperation and fear. Sirius opened his mouth but something stopped him from promising him that. The word traitor made his skin crawl in an unpleasant way.

"Promise me, please." The plea broke whatever reservation he had against the promise.

"I promise." He answered softly. A small fleeting smile hushed over James' features before he closed his eyes.

"Thank you." The words slurred together as James fell back asleep. Sirius didn't have the luxury of falling asleep immediately. His mind was whirring with possibilities as to why James was haunted by nightmares almost every night. Every single possibility hurt to contemplate and he hoped that nothing he had thought up was the truth. James did not have any scars marring his skin but that did not mean he couldn't have been hurt in other ways. He didn't want James to be hurt in any way. He tightened his grip on his friend.

He feared that James was not the only one hurting. Remus never showed them what was beneath his clothes. Often he saw fear lurk in those golden eyes. Fear of being hurt. Sirius was terrified of getting his suspicions confirmed. He hoped that there were no scars marring the body of his frail friend. He hoped that no one was hurting him at home. But he had long ago learned that hope was a fickle thing. The more often Remus flinched from sudden touches, the worse his fears became. The more he heard James scream, the greater his anguish became. He hoped that he was wrong and that his friends had homes that loved them. Homes were there was no coldness and hate. He hoped that they did not have to live like him.

oOo

Remus watched Sirius and James silently as he bit into his chocolate muffin. Something was wrong and he had no idea what. Sirius looked dead tired as if he would fall asleep at any given moment. It seemed as if he had stayed awake longer than any of them. He had nearly fallen asleep at the table and he barely missed landing face-first in his scrambled eggs. James' smiles were strained around the edge. Like it nearly always was the morning after a nightmare but he hadn't woken up. Ah, there the origin was. Sirius had mostly been awoken because of one of James' nightmares and had been unable to go back to sleep after that. It would not have been the first time that happened. Remus put a few pieces of chocolate on Sirius' plate and at his friend's raised eyebrow he just shrugged.

The hooting of the owls interrupted their silent breakfast. James grinned when Basset dropped a letter in front of him and Raleigh dropped a letter in front of Sirius. Sirius had lent him Basset since Raleigh had been delivering the letter for Regulus.

"Thanks!" James gave Basset a few grumps of bread. Remus had to save the rest of his muffin from the owl's curious beak. James quickly ripped his letter open and read it out aloud for his friends to hear.

"_Dearest James,_

_We are pleased that you apparently haven't forgotten us yet. I could question your days at Hogwarts but I will probably receive a full report during the holidays so I won't bother with that. Your mother hopes that you will leave Hogwarts standing, I have long ago given up on that hope. We appreciate if your grades are good and your mother asks me to tell you that for each bad grade, your broom will be confiscated for a week. My condolences. I will also opt to ignore my confusion as to why your friend's owl and not Raleigh sent me this letter. As for the supplies you asked for, they are on their way. I doubt that I want to know exactly what you're up to. If your mum finds out, we're both dead. So don't tell her. I know nothing._

_Love Dad._

_Ps.: Please write to your mum. She is getting quite annoyed at your lack of letters."_

Remus snorted lightly at the letter. He could clearly tell alone from the writing style that he was most definitely related to James. James grinned at his letter, pleased, before he turned towards Sirius.

"Did Regulus answer you?" James asked Sirius in a soft voice. Sirius nodded as he read enraptured. A small smile was playing on his lips as he read the words his little brother had written in his tidy handwriting.

"I told you that he doesn't hate you." James answered as he gently nudged Sirius, whom nodded, still completely focused on his letter, all traces of sleep gone from his face. The sleepless night had been forgotten. James was wearing a pleased grin as if one of his plans had worked out. There was nothing strained about the smile that was now on his face. Remus noted the change with a pleased expression as he took another sip of his hot chocolate. Everything was as normal as it would ever be with them.

oOo

**A.N.: Well here is another one and for some reason Atl is so much easier to write at the moment. Thanks to MSupernatural for betaing and thinking of the chapter title when my brain was being very uncreative. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are as always appreciated. **


	12. Midnight encounter

Chapter 12

Midnight encounter

oOo

"Potter! Black!" The angry shriek resounded across the empty corridor. It seemed as if the Slytherin girl did not find their prank all that amusing. Pity. She hadn't even been the intended target, she had just stepped right in front of Mulciber. It was not their fault that she had been hit with a Dungbomb that had been intended for Mulciber's ugly mug. One of the many Dungbombs James' father had send them, it must be mentioned. The package he had sent was a treasure chest filled with all kinds of pranking supplies.

Sirius grinned at the running James next to him. Laughter was bursting from their lips as they ran, corridor through corridor, their feet following the winding staircase towards the bottom.

"Out of the way!" James called as they rushed passed a surprised looking fourth year. She was clutching her parchments to her chest as not to lose them to the wind the running boys had created.

When they finally reached the bottom of the stairs they were gasping for breath. Between his gasp for breath, Sirius managed to get the words out: "Next-huff time ... let's n-not do that ... on top of the Astronomy tower."

"Brilliant plan!" James answered with a small breathless laugh as he fought to catch his breath. Sirius grinned at him. The pounding of heavy footsteps from behind alerted them to the fast approaching thunderous footsteps that most probably belonged to likely very pissed off Slytherins. Oh joy.

"Oh bollocks!" Sirius groaned.

"Come on, we've got to run... again." James exclaimed before he took off again. Sirius holstered his bag higher on his shoulder before running off after James with a very fake annoyed groan.

They ran through the corridors, rushing past startled students, ignoring the furious calls of a Prefect, running as if the wind itself was carrying them. They rushed around corners barely avoiding running headfirst into people or objects. Laughter disturbed the sound of their heavy breathing. Free, Sirius felt free for once. There were no expectations, no stiff rules, no hatred, no fear, just the freedom of their laughter.

"Come on Sirius stop being such a slug!" James hollered from ahead of him. With an affronted protest, Sirius escalated once more. His muscles would be greatly displeased with him tomorrow, but he couldn't care less. He barely registered the moment hard stone floor turned into soft grass. The sun had not yet completely disappeared behind distant mountains. The shadows they ran past were becoming darker as night slowly fell.

Sirius finally managed to reach James and tackled him. James let out a surprised sound before falling forward. He gripped Sirius' sleeve and pulled him with him down towards the grass. Together, the two of them toppled down the hill, rolling through grass and mud. They finally stopped at the gigantic feet of somebody.

"An' just what are yeh boys doing?" Sirius looked up to the biggest human being he had ever seen. Actually he wasn't quite sure if he was even human. He was tall, nearly three times taller than he was, probably over three meters. He seemed even taller from their sprawled position on the grass.

A big unruly beard covered his face and black eyes glinting like small black beetles regarded the two of them with something akin to amusement. One of his bushy eyebrows was raised as he looked down upon them. He had been introduced during the welcoming feast but to be truthful Sirius had blocked everything other than the sorting and the food out. So he had no idea what his name was. James was the first one that found his voice.

"Sorry, Hagrid" James answered as he struggled to sit up. Apparently James had been more attentive during the feast, which was excellent as it prevented Sirius from embarrassing himself. Hagrid held out his hand and James took it gratefully. The gigantic man pulled him onto his feet effortlessly. He also pulled Sirius to his feet and the power with which he did it felt like he was attempting to rip his arm out. He winced and hoped that his arm would not hurt tomorrow.

"We had a small run in with some Slytherins" James answered Hagrid's question before he reached out to pluck a few leaves out of his messy hair.

"More of a run-away if you ask me." Sirius added as he rubbed a smudge of mud from his cheek.

"Well, that is true. We ran here all the way from the Astronomy tower." James answered when he saw Hagrid's curious expression. How he was able to read the curiosity on Hagid's beard hidden face was a small miracle. Sirius grimaced and spit out a small piece of leaf that had somehow ended up in his mouth.

"An' just why did yeh have to run away?" Hagrid asked as crossed his thick arms.

"We are innocent!" Sirius proclaimed as he held his hands up with the most innocent grin he could manage. Hagrid narrowed his eyes. James lightly hit the back of Sirius' head. "That made him more suspicious than anything else!" James hissed.

"What did yeh do?" Hagrid asked. James apparently decided that it couldn't hurt telling Hagrid.

"We might have thrown a Dungbomb in the general direction of Mulciber", James said as he sheepishly ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up all the more. Before Hagrid could open his mouth to scold them, Sirius started talking.

"Mulciber deserved it. He insulted Peter and undermined his confidence. A Dungbomb was way too harmless." Sirius growled darkly.

"No one harms one of our friends." James added as he nudged him none too gently to prevent him from following darker thoughts. Hagrid looked back and forth between them. He seemed to be smiling beneath his great shaggy beard. Whatever Hagrid had wanted to say was interrupted by a flurry of feathers and the sound of wings flapping, making Sirius and James freeze, blinking confused. Sirius valiantly fought the urge to start laughing no matter how much he wanted to. James apparently couldn't help himself and blurted out: "Eh Hagrid you do realize that a rooster just landed on top of your head?"

Hagrid blinked at him in confusion for a moment. Sirius couldn't quite help the laughter that bubbled forth. Slowly Hagrid patted the top of his head till his overly large fingers came into contact with something feathery. Carefully and gently he grabbed the rooster and plucked it off of his head.

"Chadwick! I've been looking for this little bugger all day!" Hagrid exclaimed with a broad grin as he regarded the rooster in his hands. The rooster that was now held delicately in Hagrid's arms looked at them nonplussed and very much annoyed.

"He ran away again to run after some fox that tried to get the hens." Hagrid explained with gruff affection as he patted the roosters head with his large hand. The rooster looked very displeased at that, though, but Hagrid seemed oblivious to that. Sirius and James shared an amused look.

They spent some time talking after that. James had asked Hagrid something about Care of Magical Creatures and Hagrid looked delighted. He told them all about the little Salamanders that have recently been born from fire.

"James! Sirius!" A voice called from behind them, effectively interrupting Hagrid's gushing over the Salamanders. Peter was standing on top of the hill waving at them. The worried expression on his face was foreboding. They quickly said goodbye to Hagrid, promising to visit him for tea, before nearly running towards Peter.

"What's wrong Pete?" Sirius asked while a worried frown was marring his features.

"Where is Remus?" James asked immediately. When he and James had gone to hunt down Mulciber, Remus had been helping Peter with his potions homework inside their dorm.

"McGonagall informed him that his mother's condition has worsened again. He left to visit her." A curse flew unbidden out of Sirius mouth at Peter's worried words. James' head jerked upwards and his expression grew dark when he noticed the full moon that had appeared in the darkening sky.

"Let's go inside." James urged them. Impatience was suddenly in every tense line of his body. He grabbed their hands and was as good as pulling them towards the castle. His gaze was wary as it looked towards the forbidden forest.

"James?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. His behaviour unsettled him because usually James and Sirius were the calm ones in face of dire situations, but those usually involved the stern glare of McGonagall and detention, nothing like this. Sirius didn't even notice anything odd.

"It's nothing, it's just… the full moon gives me the creeps." James said with a dark look towards the moon.

That was news. Sirius hadn't known about his strong dislike of the full moon.

"Why do you find the full moon creepy? Isn't it very beautiful?" Peter mused out aloud. Sirius felt James go rigid.

"Beautiful? There is nothing beautiful about this oversized silvery glowing Quaffle. It causes unbearable pain and suffering." James answered sharply with hollow laughter that made a small chill travel down Sirius' spine. He saved the implications of James' words in the back of his mind. Without even thinking about it, his fingers enclosed James' wrist tightly as if he could physically pull him back from wherever his mind had gone. He didn't know why, but seeing James like that broke something inside him. James' gaze flicked towards him and luckily the haunting quality of his eyes left just as quickly as it had appeared.

"Sorry, Peter. I didn't mean to snap at you. The bloody moon puts me on edge." James smiled at Peter with a rueful expression. Peter accepted the apology with a small nod.

"So we need to cheer Remus up when he gets back. Any ideas?" Sirius asked in an obvious effort to distract from the previous uncomfortable conversation topic.

"Well, it should involve a lot of chocolate." Peter answered with a small laugh.

"And nothing that destroys any of his essays." James added.

"As I said before, it was an accident!" Sirius protested.

"Keep telling yourself that!" James retaliated with a small smirk. And Sirius couldn't quite help his worry ease a little bit at the already familiar banter that erupted between them.

oOo

James was roaming the halls again. Years of being friends with Remus and worrying over him had made sure that he could never sleep during the full moon. Now that he was eleven again he could still not get rid of the habit. Today it had been a little harder to sneak out because both Sirius and Peter had been awake longer than usual worrying over Remus as well. Worrying over their werewolf (Not that they knew that yet) never seemed to change. It was amusing in a way, how they always had fussed over Remus. Sometimes they would have loved to wrap him in cotton so that he was unable to get hurt during the full moon.

Beneath the invisibility cloak, he managed to sneak past Filch, who was muttering something about mud and puddles while cursing students underneath his breath. He was now on his way towards the Shrieking Shack to keep Remus company in any way he could.

He stopped walking when he saw a dark shadow come up the stairs towards the dungeons. James narrowed his eyes before following the suspiciously familiar shadow. It didn't take him long to identify the shadow as Snape. What on earth was he doing out past curfew? Lily would take his head if she knew. It didn't matter that he was her best bud, Lily and rule breaking were enemies, especially during the first few years.

Without really thinking about it, he started following Snape as he sneaked through the corridors. James couldn't suppress a wince. Snape seemed to have no experience in sneaking around. He was too loud, he had even knocked an armour. The ensuring noise resounded across the corridor, it could as well have been a gigantic shout of 'I am here'. It was a small wonder that Filch or his cat hadn't caught him yet.

James felt slightly unsurprised when Snape sneaked into the library. Ah, so, apparently, the Restricted Section was his goal. So many memories, of both his previous life and his son's rushed into his head. Silently, James followed him inside. Snape had put down a small lantern onto the cold stone floor. It illuminated the baggy and oversized clothes Snape was wearing and James was again sharply reminded of Harry in his cousin's old clothes.

Snape's muttering pulled him back into reality. He saw Snape brush over the backs of the books in the Restricted section with gentle fingers. Apparently he was looking for something specific. He moved to pull one of the books out and James had to wince. It was one of the screamer books. Harry had the misfortune to encounter one during his first year. It would be better to interfere.

"You know, I wouldn't open that book. It's a screamer." James commented as he lazily leaned against the bookshelf after taking the cloak off. Snape dropped the book with a start and whirled around, wand at ready. James ignored it, focusing on being grateful that the book hadn't opened.

"No need to leave me at the pointy end." James exclaimed as he raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"Potter, what are you doing here?" Snape asked darkly as he slowly lowered his wand. He didn't put it away, apparently deciding it would be better to be able to cast something at a moment's notice. Not that he as a first year had a large spell reservoir. Or any, for that matter. But still…

"Well, I was taking a stroll through the corridors when I stumbled upon a snake loudly slithering towards the library." James answered with a small shrug.

"So you followed me. At least I am not pompous Lion strutting through the halls. " Snape hissed. The idea of someone following him without noticing displeased him. James fought the urge to snicker at the imagery Snapes words awoke. In the past he would have taken offence now it just amused him.

"I was curious and you were hardly hard to follow. A silent Snake you were not. Stealth is not your strong fort." James answered with an unapologetic smile.

"Oh and apparently you're the master of that or something." Snape sneered.

"Well, no, that title would go to Minnie. Her cat form is awesome at stealth. I just have some practice from sneaking around the current Head Auror for the last eleven years of my life." James explained unconcerned and without looking at his classmate. "So why are you browsing through the Restricted section?"

"None of your Business, Potter." Snape's answer was venom filled. James internally rolled with his eyes.

"You know, I can be very persistent when I want an answer. Dad always says I am as stubborn as a mule or maybe even worse." James said with a grin. At the mention of his father, Snape's hand tightened around his wand. His answer was a sour glare before he refocused on the books. He was trying to ignore James and that just wouldn't do.

"Are you looking for curses?" James received no answer but that wouldn't deter him in the least.

"Hexes? Poisons? Love potions?" At James last words a small worried expression hushed over Snape's features. Interesting that Poisons didn't bother him but love potions apparently did. "Rituals? Animal sacrifices? Animagus transformations? Occlumency? Legilimency? Dark Spells?" Snape remained stubbornly silent. James could go on for a little while longer. "Dark incidents in the last century? Blood Purity? Fire breathers? The Great Book of Spells? History of Dark spells? Ancient families? History of ancient pure blood families?" Ah, finally a reaction. Snape's continuous glare had faltered for a moment at the mention of the last two subjects. Still, he remained stubbornly silent. James preferred a snarling and hissing Snape to a silent one. Silent Snape was just weird.

"Okay, they shouldn't be too hard to find. You did realize that the shelf is ordered alphabetically?" Snape as good as snarled at him. No, then. James raised his hands in mock surrender. "Chill."

James stepped around Snape and scanned the shelf. He vaguely remembered Sirius complaining about certain books his family had made him read. Now he just had to remember how the books were called.

"Ah found one." James pulled out a book by the name of '_Superiority: A study of Pure Bloods' _he unceremoniously threw it in the general direction of Snape, not really caring whether or not he caught the book. He disliked the subject so a few injured pages didn't bother him in the least. '_Tradition and Purity' _James pulled a disgusted grimace at the themes but handed the book over to Snape anyways. '_Ancient families and their History' _was the third book he handed over to Snape. '_Bloodlines: A study of the Noble Ancestors'_ was the final book James gave to Snape. The last book was not a complete lost cause in his opinion. According to Lily, it also explains the reason why Muggleborns and Muggles are important in the genetic pool, or something like that. He couldn't quite remember the lecture (or rather rant) she had held about the subject. It had been sometime back in sixth year if he remembered correctly.

"Those are the ones that I know of. Or rather, that Sirius complained about." James said with a small shrug. Snape didn't utter a thank you, he just stared at the books in his arms.

"Also, just for your information, Filch will be here in..." James gaze trailed towards the ancient clock in the corner. "about 8 minutes if he didn't encounter Peeves during his patrol."

"Why didn't you say so earlier?" Snape bit out angrily, panic filling him. James just shrugged as he saw Snape quickly stuff the books inside his back.

"See ya, Snape!" James called as he walked out of the library without sparing Snape another glance. As soon as he was sure no one was in the corridor he threw his invisibility cloak over himself and continued his way towards the Shrieking Shack as if the meeting with Snape had never happened. The plan "try to keep the animosity between him, his friends and Snape to minimum" was well on the way.

oOo

"What did you do to Snape?" Remus asked at breakfast the day after he had been released from the Hospital Wing. His friends had greeted him with a warped chocolate cake that they had made themselves under the close supervision of the houselves. All three of his friends had beamed at him and he didn't have the heart to tell them that the cake was a little hard on the teeth (Remus was picky). The gesture though had been sweeter that the cake and had sent pleasant tingles through him. He once again felt blessed for having such friends.

"What makes you say I did something?" James asked before he bit heartily into his strawberry sauce covered pancake.

"He isn't glaring at you." Sirius pointed out around a mouthful of what was once an omelette. James turned around. His eyes sought out the Slytherin.

"Hu, he really isn't. Weird." James answered after he turned back towards them. Peter gulped down a large quantity of pumpkin juice to try and drown down the piece of bread that had been stuck in throat while Remus gently patted him on the back. Sirius was thumbing him on the back not nearly as gently. James had to stop him before he pushed Peter face forward into his scrambled eggs.

"What did you do?" Peter asked in a slightly croaky voice from his near suffocation.

"Why do you always assume that I did something?" James complained with pout.

"Because you are looking way too smug!" Sirius answered as grabbed James' nose. "I will not release my captive till you tell us." James glared at Sirius, who just grinned. A silent staring contest broke out. James left I twitched lightly before he conceded defeat.

"I can't sleep during a full moon, never have been able to." Remus paled lightly next to Peter. "I went out and roamed the halls under the cloak." Sirius opened his mouth to protest that he would have gone with James, but his friend silenced him with the simple raise of his hand. "I stumbled over Snape and followed him into the library. I helped him look for some books."

"That's it?" Sirius asked disappointed.

"That's it." James confirmed after he took a sip of his pumpkin juice.

"Boring!" Sirius whined. Remus rolled with his eyes and went back to his in chocolate sauce covered pancake.

"Halloween is in about three weeks." James commented with fake nonchalance. Sirius immediately perked up at those words.

"Let's plan a prank!" Sirius said in an excited whisper. He was nearly vibrating out of his seat in his excitement. James' face was overtaken by something one might classify as a mad grin. Peter looked between James and Sirius with something akin to excitement and confusion warring on his features. Remus let out a resigned sighed and already mentally apologized to the general population of Hogwarts.

oOo

**A.n.: Thank you so much for the reviews! Already 100, thank you! Thank you to all the follows and favorites. I very much enjoy reading your reviews and ideas. Thank you very much for liking my story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and had fun reading. I had fun writing it and I am already working on the next chapter. Two hints: Halloween and Pumpkins. Have a wonderful day or night (depending on wherever you are). **


	13. Haunted

Chapter 13

Haunted

oOo

"Hagrid, how many pumpkins do you have this year?" James asked. He tried to chew on one of Hagrid's rock-like cookies with little success. The warm tea was the only thing helping him swallow those petrified things, and James knew Sirius, Remus and Peter appeared to have the same problem. Peter was nibbling at one of them, and he had been nibbling at it the last hour while Hagrid had elaborated a little bit on the creatures haunting the forbidden forest and on the creatures he was currently raising. The baby Salamanders had already managed to burn a hole through Sirius' trouser's leg.

"There should be over thirty but someone might have snacked on one or two last night." Hagrid answered as he took a huge gulp of tea. "Why are yeh asking?"

"We wanted to ask if we could have some. We're planning a surprise for Halloween." Remus said with a soft smile.

"Yeh are not going to blow them up or throw them at someone, uh?" Hagrid asked as he looked at each of them with slightly narrowed eyes, but James, who had known the big guy for a while already, could see the underlying mirth in his eyes.

"Hagrid! You insult us! We would never do that!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically as he held a hand over his heart, a mock hurt expression adjourned his face. Hagrid just raised one unimpressed bushy eyebrow.

"I heard yeh blew up two jugs of pumpkin juice just this morning." Hagrid answered, to which Peter groaned and Sirius started snickering.

"How many times do I have to say, it was not intentional!" James protested weakly. He had tried to get a jug of pumpkin juice via _accio_ which had ended up in disaster. Damn adult magic on a pre-teen body. The jug he used the spell on rushed towards him with way too much speed and crashed together with another jug. They basically exploded and showered everyone nearby in pumpkin juice. Lily had been among them. She had not been pleased was putting it mildly. James felt as if his ears were still ringing from her shouting.

"We solemnly swear not to put anyone in danger with any of your pumpkins." Sirius exclaimed in a grave tone. Peter snorted not believing a word out of Sirius' mouth.

"Please, Hagrid. Just a few pumpkins?" James asked and tried to imitate Sirius' potent puppy dog eyes. Remus rolled with his eyes and hid his smirk behind his teacup. Hagrid sighed.

"I am going to regret this." Hagrid muttered and James and Sirius cheered. Remus opted it to be better not to tell Hagrid the fact that, if he had said no, Sirius and James would have had no qualms stealing Hagrid's pumpkins.

"Thank you. We will come and collect the pumpkins tomorrow." James said with a grin as he took a final sip of his tea. "We will leave now. There is still a lot to be planned."

"Bye Hagrid." Sirius exclaimed as he and James rushed towards the door.

"Thanks for the tea." Remus said as he calmly followed his two wild friends.

"And for the cookies." Peter added as he hastily followed them. Hagrid resignedly shook his head at their backs but an amused quirk of his lips was hidden beneath his shaggy beard.

As soon as James opened the door of Hagrid's hut, he came face to face with Lily. She still looked miffed and apparently she still had of a faint pumpkin smell.

"Hi Evans" James answered after a moment of surprised silence. A surprised sound escaped him when Sirius walked into him.

"Mate, why did you stop walking?" Sirius asked a he rubbed his nose, which he had jammed into the back of James' head. He looked over his shoulder and his eyes landed on Lily.

"Oh, afternoon Evans." Sirius drawled.

"Hello Evans" Remus said from behind Sirius. Peter peeked around his friends and waved at Lily.

"Hi ... Why do I have the... ungood feeling that you are up to no good?" Lily asked darkly. Her eyes were narrowed as she looked at each of them with a piercing glare. They tried to look as innocent as possible.

"Well... look at the time! We have to go!" James suddenly exclaimed loudly, trying to hide his excitement. What could he do, riling Lily up was one his favourite activities, he had to admit it. He dragged Sirius along with him. "Goodbye Evans!"

"Bye!" Sirius bellowed as he ran up the hill besides James.

"Have a lovely late afternoon" Remus exclaimed before making himself scarce as he hastily followed his friends.

Only Peter was still standing there slowly wilting under Lily's glare.

"Sorry, forgot someone!" James' voice suddenly appeared from behind her, semi-startling the girl. James grabbed Peter's wrist and pulled him away from Lily, which caused the poor boy to send him a grateful look.

They left a slightly discombobulated Lily Evans behind that only stared after them as they ran towards the castle. Maybe Hagrid would have some answers.

oOo

Green blinding light was the last remnant of his dream as James' eyes snapped open. His breathing was hard and fast and he gulped trying to quell the urge to heave.

"James, you look as white as parchment." Sirius said as he helped James sit up slowly. His fingers rubbed soothing circles on his back. It helped settle the sickness that still swirled in his stomach.

"Drink", Remus' soft voice came from his right. A glass of cool water was pressed into his hand. He drank it as if he was a man dying of thirst in a desert, the cool liquid helping settle his stomach, and he send a grateful look towards Remus. Peter watched anxiously from the foot of his bed. He hoped that the smile he sent him was not a grimace but a reassuring one.

"What was it about?" Sirius asked in a typical blunt manner, hoping that maybe this time he would receive an answer. Remus sent him a small reproachful look.

"All I remember is blinding green light." James answered softly. He knew what it meant. He knew what he had remembered. He didn't register the worried glances his friends were exchanging. The one time James answered Sirius' question seemed so anticlimactic that it worried him all the more.

He looked at Sirius and tilted his head slightly. Sirius got the unspoken plea.

"So, do you think they have already found our surprises?" He asked in an effort to comply with James' wish of distraction. James sent Sirius a grateful look.

"Well, I bet Evans will be the first one to find it." James answered with a grin that seemed a bit strained around the edges.

True to his words, Lily was the first one to find it. Mostly because she always got up earlier than any sane person should.

Lily burrowed herself deeper beneath the blankets. She hated getting up in the morning. She peeked one eye open hoping that it was not yet time to get up. The time on her alarm dashed that hope pretty quickly. She let out a small groan before slowly sitting up. Her red hair hung into her face in an seemingly untameable mess of waves and curls. She stumbled out of bed and straight into the bathroom. She only truly woke up when the warm water of the shower cascaded upon her. The scent of Mango spread throughout the bathroom as she massaged the shampoo into her thick hair. After finishing her shower, now in a considerably better mood, she hummed softly as she towelled herself dry and wrapped her hair in one dark blue towel. She tiptoed back into her room careful as not to wake her roommates.

"What time is it?" A voice asked groggily from within a cocoon of blankets from next to Lily's bed. Alice stuck her head out from her blankets. Her short blond her stood up in every direction as she sleepily gazed at Lily.

"Half past six." At Lily's answer Alice let out a groan of _too early_ and disappeared again beneath her blankets. Lily chuckled. She pulled on the dark blue blouse her granny had given her for her birthday this year.

It was when she brushed through her hair that she noticed the carved pumpkin sitting on her bedside table. She instantly froze. Lily had had her guard up from the moment Hagrid had confessed that Potter and his friends had requested pumpkins for some sort of Halloween surprise. Well, she had apparently found one of the pumpkins. A grinning cat had been carved into the pumpkin, and she had to unwillingly admit that the carving was pretty well done. It looked a little bit like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, a book she had adored as a child. She looked at it with suspicion. She grabbed her wand from her bedside table and carefully poked the pumpkin fully expecting it to explode or something along those lines. Yet nothing happened.

Lily frowned looking over towards Alice's bed. On her bedside table there was another pumpkin sitting. Hers, on the other hand, was engraved with a lion cub. Lily frowned she had no idea why there was a lion cub on Alice pumpkin. Next to the lion cub, a small toad was sitting.

She looked around the room and realized that all the girls had pumpkins on their bedside table. She turned back towards her own. She stepped closer and upon closer inspection noticed the small lightning bolt scar on the cats forehead.

She truly didn't understand any of it. Still expecting it to explode, she carefully looked inside and found it to be filled with sweets. On top of it there was a big piece of chocolate in the form of what seemed to be a beautiful stag and a chocolate lily next to it. It didn't explode when she touched it nor did it do anything when she pulled out a chocolate frog.

Somehow the fact that nothing exploded was a bit of a let-down. She had fully expected something that ended in chaos. Yet the chocolate inside the pumpkin was normal and the gesture was maybe even a little sweet.

"What is that?" Alice asked as she blinked the sleep from her eyes and stared at her pumpkin is apparent confusion. She reached out and touched the pumpkin and that was the moment it happened. A loud bang resounded across the room efficiently waking the other girls up. Alice's pumpkin had exploded with a thick cloud of orange glitter and the girl herself looked stumped as she was covered in glitter and looked at Lily with her eyes wide. The next thing Lily knew all the other pumpkins except hers exploded and covered the room and its occupants in bright orange sparkling glitter. Lily was the only one the least covered in glitter.

Lily took a deep breath trying to stay calm in the face of a glittering room. She turned around and left the room stomping towards the common room just in time to see an older student touch the gigantic pumpkin sitting in the middle of the room. It exploded and covered everyone and everything there in even more glitter. Potter and his friends were standing in the corner laughing loudly. They themselves were also covered in orange glitter. Potter winked at her before running out of the room with his friends to evade the few older years that weren't laughing and tried to make grab for them.

Lily rubbed her temples trying to swallow her aggravation. Alice came down the stairs behind her. She had apparently managed to get most of the glitter off her face but the rest of her was still covered in it. Her blue stripped pyjamas looked quite entertaining covered in the glitter.

"You've got something on your nose." A boy, the same boy who had helped her, she recognized, said as he pointed at the clump of glitter that was on the tip of Alice nose.

"Is it gone?" Alice asked after she had rubbed her nose till it was red.

"No." He reached out and plucked the piece of glitter from her nose. "Now it's gone." He added with a smile.

"Thanks." Alice answered with her own small smile.

"Frank! Help me out here!" A voice called from behind the couch. Frank rolled with his eyes before helping his friend back to his feet after he had gone down by being hit with bits and pieces of the exploded pumpkin.

"Lily, you go on ahead. It will take a while till the bathroom is free." Alice said towards Lily with a small annoyed eye roll. Lily nodded. She picked up her bag from their room, trying to ignore the glitter catastrophe, before she made her way towards the Great Hall.

"Morning Sev!" Lily called out towards her childhood friend. He turned around and _oh surprise_ he was covered in blue glitter. He was scowling but when he noticed her, his expression lightened.

"Morning. I see the pumpkin got you as well." He commented with a slightly amused expression as he took in her glitter-covered form.

"It got everyone in Gryffindor Tower." Lily said with an eye roll.

"I can count myself lucky, most of the pumpkins in Slytherin were filled with bright orange slime that is clinging everywhere." Severus said dryly. Lily winced slightly.

"Well, glitter is better than slime." Lily amended.

"Let's hope that there are no more surprises" Severus muttered darkly. Lily had to agree with him.

It was official, if Lily saw one more pumpkin today, she would stay in the library until she learned a good hex to use on Potter and his friends to send them flying towards the moon. They had hidden glitter exploding pumpkins seemingly in every nook and cranny of the castle. Severus was now looking like a glittering rainbow but at least he was not covered in orange glittering slime like Bellatrix Black, who looked ready to murder someone. She couldn't even truly appreciate the beauty of the Halloween feast. She glared at Potter down the table where he was silently picking at his food. His friends were laughing but he wasn't joining in. Their laughter somehow sounded forced, which sort of surprised her. Black was trying to get him to eat something but he was just shaking his head with a pained expression. Black looked seriously worried as he continued to try to get Potter to eat. Lupin was handing Potter a glass of water which he took gratefully.

Now that she thought about it, the boy in glasses looked awfully pale, which caused her to furrow her brow. When Black saw her looking, he scowled and tried to block Potter from her view. Lily huffed to herself before continuing eating trying to banish it from her mind. Alice chatter was a good distraction, but it eventually proved to be not as effective as she hoped.

oOo

Regulus stared at the old grandfather clock on the wall and hoped that time would tick by just a little bit faster. Just a tiny bit. With Sirius the Halloween Ball his parents hosted had at least not been nearly as lonely. Andromeda sadly didn't manage to spend a lot of time with him. She was on edge and had been jumpy the whole evening, which was highly unusual for her. Andromeda was always the calm and gentle one. She only got vicious if someone threatened someone dear to her. Tonight she was not calm at all. Regulus watched as his aunt introduced another young man to her daughter. Andromeda's smile was forced and she looked very uncomfortable. He didn't know exactly what was going on but he hoped that it was resolved quickly.

He was the only child in a ball room filled with as his brother would put it snobbish, boring adults. Not even Kreacher was able to spend some time with him. He was needed in the kitchen to refill the food and the drinks. Not that his mother would allow Kreacher to show his face in front of her guests.

Regulus had essentially been forgotten. He was sitting in a corner on a chair watching as the adult mingled. His posture was still perfect and he tried so hard not to start fidgeting. He was not nearly as restless as Sirius but even he couldn't manage to sit meekly in a chair for close to three hours.

"Such a disgrace, my condolences Walburga." His aunt Lucretia said as she talked with his mother. Regulus only managed to hear a small part of the conversation that followed but it was enough to make Regulus feel angry and worried. Aunt Lucretia and his mother could rarely see eye to eye but if the two of them agreed on something it was often times nothing good. They were talking about Sirius. About how they would need to re-educate him, to make sure that he stayed true to their family.

His parents had never been able to understand and like any of Sirius traits and quirks. Regulus himself was often times unable to understand his brother but he knew that his brother was happy in Gryffindor with his friends thanks to his letters. To hear his mother and aunt discuss how much of a disgrace and disappointment his brother was the one time his brother was truly happy hurt somehow. He needed to leave. The whole room felt suffocating and he needed to get away from his family.

Slowly he stood up, he made sure that his robes were without spots and wrinkles before slowly walking through the mingling adults. He walked past an uncomfortable looking Andromeda that was led onto the dance-floor by an prim and proper looking young man. He needed to inform his father or mother that he was going to bed. His mother was still discussing something with Aunt Lucretia and father was talking to both his grandfathers. He really didn't want to talk to his grandfathers or his aunt. Out of the three of them his aunt was the least likely to give him along lecture about their families purity. He made a beeline back towards his mother only to walk into someone.

"I apologize." Regulus said as he looked up. He came face to face with his smiling uncle Alphard.

"I apologize as well. I should have looked where I was walking." Alphard said with a smile. Alphard was by far his and Sirius favourite Uncle. "So where are you going, Reg?"

"I was going to ask mother if I can retire for the night."

"I will tell her. You go to bed and get some sleep." Alphard said gently as he ushered him towards the door. Regulus knew that his mother would not be happy with that but at the moment he just wanted to get away. A scolding from his mother was a small price to pay.

"Thank you." Regulus said before he stepped into the hallway. He let out a small sigh of relief at finally getting away from the ball room. Slowly he made his way up the stairs. As soon as he stpped inside his room and slid the lock into place he couldn't help but let out a breath of relief.

He let himself fall face-first onto the bed. He was so tired. The evening was filled with meaningless chatter and condolences for Sirius sorting into Gryffindor. Regulus let otu an annoyed sound. He leaned over his mattress and blindly touched searched beneath his bed till his hand came into contact with something wooden. He pulled the box out from under the bed and unlocked it with the small key that was hidden beneath his pillow.

Inside the box were all the letters Sirius had written him till now and he needed a small part of his brothers presence in that moment. He started rereading them like he had done seemingly a hundred times before.

Knocking on his window interrupted him before he even managed to finish reading the second letter. Regulus couldn't help lightening up. He scrambled off of his bed and hastily pulled the window open.

Raleigh flew into his room in a graceful ark as always but this time there was no letter in her claws but a small carved pumpkin. A snitch was engraved in the front of the pumpkin. Carefully he took the pumpkin. Raleigh landed on the back of his chair again looking at him expectantly. Gently he stroked the owls feathered head before he turned his attention on the pumpkin. The pumpkin was filled with sweets on top of them a slip of paper lay with the words 'Happy Halloween' written on them in his brother's messy scrawl. Regulus smiled, feeling elated that his brother hadn't forgotten him. Most of the sweets were even his favourites. His brother had looked forward to escaping their home. Regulus had feared that he would be forgotten or hated. His brother had done neither. He had not forgotten him nor had he started to hate him quite the opposite in fact. He knew his brother loved him and he had never truly been sure before now. His brother had always been unhappy at home and often Regulus thought that he was somehow at fault for that. It had made him strive for his parents affection all the more. Now though he knew better.

Regulus couldn't help but disagree with his family. His brother wasn't a disgrace or a disappointment. He was the best brother he could ask for.

oOo

Sirius stared at James. He felt as if James would disappear should he take his eyes off of him for even a second. His friend had grown unusually silent towards the evening. It worried him all the more when he barely ate anything during dinner. Only Sirius' insistence had made sure that James even ate the little bit he had eaten. Now, though, James was sitting on his bed with his head resting on his knees as he watched Peter and Remus. Remus was helping Peter practice the smokescreen spell, a feat which James and Sirius already had perfected. James' hazel eyes were trained on his friends but every so often his gaze would linger on Peter. In those instances his gaze would darken as if he was contemplating something dark and solemn. Otherwise his expression was blank and his skin was paler than normal. Sirius was sitting next to him watching James out of the corner of his eyes.

Today had been far the worst day yet. James had a nightmare early in the morning, he had been spacing out all day and his laughter had rarely been truly genuine. Only seeing Evans covered in glitter had lightened his mood and brought forth genuine laughter. Something had obliviously happened on Halloween that had scarred his friend somehow. Even Peter had realized it, and Peter was not the fastest on the uptake. All the scenarios that were swirling around his head were horrifying and he hoped that none of them were true. James had been watching Peter warily all day and Sirius had no clue as to why. He had been as tense as bow-string ready to snap at any given moment. It worried him. James was acting very... not-Jamesy.

Sirius was startled out of his thoughts when someone leaned on him. Sirius blinked and looked sideways. James had fallen asleep and all the tension he had carried around today had apparently left his body as he leaned against Sirius' side breathing softly.

"Remy?" Sirius called quietly. Remus looked up from where he was helping Peter with his wand movement. Sirius inclined his hand in James' direction. At James sleeping face, Remus let out a small sigh of relief. Peter silently stepped forward and carefully took the glasses off of James' nose. Remus helped Sirius carefully manoeuvre James on his bed. They covered him in his blanket an pulled the curtains shut.

"What do you think is wrong?" Peter whispered as he anxiously sneaked a glance towards James' bed.

"I have no bloody clue." Sirius growled. It was frustrating to be unable to help in any way. Very frustrating.

"He will tell us when he is ready." Remus murmured feeling like a hypocrite, since he himself was planning on never telling them about his secret. Sirius looked at him dubiously as if he knew that he was hiding something. He let out a small sigh of relief when Sirius made no further comment.

"I hope he tells us soon. I hate to see him hurt." Sirius muttered. Peter made a soft noise of agreement.

oOo

Lily had made herself comfortable on the almost glitter free couch (the glitter was a bloody menace!) in front of the fireplace of the common room a thick book in her hands. Alice and Mary had already gone to bed but Lily couldn't sleep, especially not with the other two girls chattering about which boys were '_hot_'. They were eleven, for Merlin's sake, there was no need to think about boys just yet!

She turned another page and continued reading the section of the founding witches and wizards of Hogwarts. She was utterly fascinated and she knew that she had already been up for way too long. She was the only one left in the common room but she just couldn't stop. It was so damn interesting. She promised herself to only read one more chapter before finally going to bed.

She never got to finish the chapter as she was interrupted by footsteps, loud in the otherwise silent room, from the boys' staircase. Lily looked up from her book immediately weary. She hoped that Potter and his friends had not planned any more surprises. The herpes of the arts and crafts world, that is, the glitter, had been more than enough.

Potter came stumbling down the stairs. He was shaking and his gaze was unfocused, which caused Lily to frown, her weariness dissipating against her will.

"Potter?" She called softly. At the sound of her voice, his head snapped up and haunted hazel eyes stared at her. The bleakness that had been in them vanished gradually, but it still scared her a little bit. His eyes widened at the sight of her, and to Lily it seemed as if he was looking at her as if he could barely believe he was seeing her standing there.

The next thing she knew, Potter had collapsed. He grumbled onto the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Alarmed, Lily stood up, her book falling onto the floor with a loud thumb in the silent room. Potter sat shivering on the floor, his head held in his hands, as he muttered almost inaudibly.

"She's alive, she's alive, not dead." Potter muttered the words over and over again as Lily hurriedly approached him. His breathing was way too fast and he was shaking all over. Something was wrong, so enormously wrong. Potter wasn't supposed to look like this, so haunted. Potter was supposed to be laughing, smiling, joking, not doing this. He is not supposed to be this broken person.

Before she could even reach him, footsteps hurried down the stairs. Black came running down the stairs, and when he saw Potter, he cursed and as good as flew down the rest of the stairs. He crashed onto the floor next to him, yet Potter didn't so much as twitch.

"James." Black called softly and slowly reached out making sure that he could see him move. Slowly and carefully, he touched his trembling friend and gently turned his head towards him, so that confused and haunted hazel eyes had to look at him.

"Breathe." The order was delivered in a decisive tone. He took Potter's hand and let it rest on his chest. "Match my breathing. In and out. Slowly."

Another two pairs of footsteps descended down the stairs. Lupin and Pettigrew were standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Pete, go get some hot chocolate. I am going to get a blanket." Lupin said and Pettigrew nodded before running out of the portrait hole. Lupin ran back up the stairs. A few seconds later, he came back down with a cosy-looking quilt.

Black was still calmly talking to his best friend. Potter's breathing was slowly calming down and when Lupin gently draped the quilt over his friend's shoulders, the trembling slowly receded. Lupin sat down besides Black and started to talk soothingly to him.

Lily felt utterly useless. She was unable to help in any way, despite the fact that she wanted to. She felt she had too. The way they easily took on the roles of caretakers made it seems as if this was an reoccurring event, and that frightened her.

Potter slumped forward into Black. He hid his face in his friend's chest. Black patted Potter's back with slightly shaking fingers.

"Don't scare us like that, please. Don't just wander off somewhere." Black said as he hugged his friend. Lupin was patting his shoulder. The need to touch his friend was clear in every tense line of his body. The portrait opened and Peter stumbled inside. In his hands, he had a plate with four cups of hot chocolate.

Peter plopped down next to his friends. Carefully, Lupin took one of the cups and pressed it into Potter's trembling hands. He passed the next one to Black who put it onto the ground next to him.

"Drink. It will help." Lupin commanded softly.

"Yes, Mr. Chocolate addict." Potter's voice was barely there, but at his words they relaxed, and Lily herself felt a small sense of relief flood her, letting go a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. He took small sips of his chocolate and slowly his trembling stopped altogether as he listened to Lupin's and Black's banter.

Lily was still standing there awkwardly not knowing what to do and she hated the feeling.

"Come on, James. Up you go." Black exclaimed as he stood up. Lupin stood up as well and together they pulled James onto his feet.

"We cannot pull another all-nighter, James. So back to bed." Lupin said. He and Pettigrew slowly helped Potter with his quilt wrapped around his shoulder wobbly ascended back up the stairs.

"I can walk, you know." Potter's strained voice could be hear. Lupin's answer, though, Lily had been unable to catch.

"You coming Sirius?" Pettigrew called when Black made no move to follow them.

"I'll be right there." Black reassured his friend before turning towards her.

"Evans." The warmth she had witnessed had completely disappeared from his face. His grey eyes were as hard as steel when they looked at her, and Lily felt her spine stiffen automatically, a sense similar to fright settling inside her.

"Not a word to this to anyone. Especially not to your Slytherin friend." Black growled and Lily felt slightly offended. She wouldn't have told even without him asking, it was simply not her story to share.

"No one will hear about this. Not from me." Lily said. She couldn't quite keep the affronted tone out of her voice. Black let out a small breath of relief.

"Thanks Evans." Black said with a sad, restrained smile in her direction before turning around and disappearing up the stairs towards the boy's dorm. Lily was left alone in the common room. There was no way that she could go back to reading. She had witnessed something that had shifted the ground of her reality just the slightest bit and she didn't know how to cope with that. It had hurt to see Potter like that. It felt wrong to have witnessed that. She slowly sank down on to the couch, hugging her knees to her chest as she gazed into the roaring fire.

oOo

When Sirius stepped into their room James had been dumped on his bed as Remus and Peter pulled blankets and pillows onto to the floor. James had scared him to death tonight. When he had woken up and hadn't been able to find James he had been terrified. James smiled weakly at him when he made his way over to him.

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked softly as gently touched James on the shoulder. He laid a hand on his forehead. "You're warmer than usual but you don't have a fever." Remus said with a sigh of relief.

"Tired and wrung out." James answered as he weakly leaned against the bedpost. Peter gave James a glass of fresh water with a small worried smile. After he had drunken the whole glass they made themselves comfortable on the ground on top of the pillows and beneath the warm and cosy blankets.

Sirius stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. He could hear Remus breathing even out and Peter started snoring lightly after a while.

"James?" Sirius whispered softly. Peter was currently using his lower left leg as a pillow. James was laying next to him with Remus sprawled half on top of him. A grunt answered him. He had known that James was still awake.

"That was not like your usual nightmare." Sirius stated. It was not a question. It didn't take much to realize that. "And why did you keep muttering 'she is alive'?" The question was nothing more than a hushed whisper. He felt James freeze next to him. Sirius expected James not to answer him but after what felt like an eternity, James opened his mouth.

"It was a flashback." James muttered at last. Silence reigned in their room, interrupted every now and then only by Peter's occasional snoring. Sirius tried to hide the relief in his voice at the fact that James had answered him.

"What was it about?" Sirius asked softly hoping that James wouldn't just close off.

"Death." The reply from James came flat. The bland way in which the word was said made the hairs in the back of his neck stand up. Death. The one thing he had hoped to not be thing that had traumatized his friend. Sirius clenched his eyes shut in despair.

"Will you ever tell us?" Sirius asked. He felt so bloody helpless. The feeling left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

"I don't know how to tell you, or if I even should even tell you. What if it changes things? Would you even believe me? I am terrified." James admitted softly.

"I ,We would always believe you. And it wouldn't change a thing you are always going to be my best friend." Sirius said fiercely. He barely remembered to keep his voice down. They had only known each other for two months but already their bond felt unbreakable. He wouldn't abandon his friend no matter what he revealed.

"Sirius." James whispered softly. "I solemnly swear that I will tell you everything, just not ...yet"

"Okay. You know that we are here for you, don't you?" Sirius whispered back.

"I would have to be blind to not know that. Thank you" James voice was full of a gratitude that Sirius couldn't quite understand. He hadn't done much. He had simply tried to be there for his friend and most of the time it felt as if he wasn't doing enough.

oOo

**A.N.: A double length chapter as a thanks over 100 reviews and for all the follows and favourites. Thank you so much.**

**I am sorry for putting James through those nightmares but James went through war immediately after he left Hogwarts, He fought against Death Eaters and had probably been the victim of a curcio at least once, he had to go into hiding because his son was destined to defeat the murderous bad guy, he was killed not knowing if his sacrifice would give his wife and son time to save themselves and then in the 'afterlife' had to watch his sons partly horrible life, his friend be shunned for his furry little problem as he suffocated in loneliness and he had to watch his best friend rot in Azkaban for 12 years. He had to watch his son 'die', he watched Sirius die and he watched Remus die. Nightmares are very, very likely. **

**Oh and James is still eleven big measures against Voldemort will take a while. I rather like changing things subtly and not in a big bang way. I hope to finish the first year within 25 chapters. We will see if I can manage that or not.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)**


	14. Christmas' surprises from loving hearts

Chapter 14

Christmas' surprises from loving hearts

oOo

"Are you sure that it is all right?" Sirius asked. A small crease had formed between his eyebrows as he glowered at his trunk. He had packed too much stuff into it and now he was unable to close it.

"Yes Sirius. It is all right." James answered with a small roll of his eyes as he went through his clothes, probably checking if he hadn't left anything behind. They were currently packing their trunks because they would go home for Christmas.

November had passed in what seemed to have been the blink of an eye. After Halloween his friends had become even more protective of him. James had started to get the weird feeling that he was being watched no matter where he or at what time went. Yet, whenever he turned around, he saw nobody suspicious.

The Full moon in November had been, to make things simple, horrible. Sirius' birthday was the day after the full moon and Remus' mood had reached an all-time low when he realized that he would be unable to be there for his friend's birthday. The wolf in turn had become agitated, which had resulted in more and deeper wounds. The matter had been made worse by the fact that Remus, their goody two shoes Remus, had sneaked out of the hospital wing without permission in order to congratulate Sirius. He had been paler than normal, sweating and swaying on his feet. Sirius had been alarmed when he noticed the corner of a blood soaked bandage and his suspicion of an abusive home became stronger. He was unable to come up with another reason for Remus to come back injured to Hogwarts from his aunt's funeral. He didn't believe Remus' excuse of having issues with the neighbor's dog.

The first Quidditch game of the season had been awesome. Hufflepuff had beaten Ravenclaw fair and square in a game of epic proportions. James couldn't wait for following year. He loved flying for his house.

December had involved a nice snowball fight, which had turned into a snowball war involving all four houses. Edmund had to pull James out of a small Snow mountain. Sam had not been happy with them especially after they had glazed the floors with a thin layer of ice. The Full moon of this month had been tame in comparison to the one before.

So, after an eventful month and one not so eventful by comparison, the end of December had finally arrived. The following day would be Christmas and James had invited Sirius to celebrate Christmas with him and his family, as he knew the boy would not be going home.

"James, have you seen my wand?" Peter's worried voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"It's in the bathroom." Remus answered as he looked up from his book. He had been the only one wise enough to pack the night before.

James stared at books lying on his bed. He seemed to be missing one.

"Have you guys seen my potions book?" James asked with a small frown.

"Didn't you throw it at Mulciber last week?" Sirius answered after a moment of consideration.

"I know but I forgot where I put it afterwards." James grumbled. The first time around he had thrown it at Snape. He remembered that but he for the life of him couldn't remember where he put it afterwards then and now.

"Your bag?" Peter asked as he put his wand into his own bag.

"Already checked. It isn't in it." James answered. A part of him couldn't quite believe that he had lost the book again.

"Did you check in your bedside table?" Remus asked.

"Yes, I did"

"Under your bed?" Remus asked with an amused expression. James froze. Now he could distinctly remember kicking the book beneath his bed. With a sigh he dropped to the floor and crawled beneath the bed.

"Pete, I found your socks!" James exclaimed as he grabbed them and threw them in the general direction of his shorter friend.

"Thanks!" Peter called as he struggled to close his trunk. At some point Sirius sat down on Pete's trunk so that the boy could flip the locks.

James crawled deeper beneath the bed. He ignored the spider webs and the dust.

"Sirius, guess what I found!" James excited voice drifted out from underneath the bed. Sirius watched James feet disappear completely underneath the four-poster bed with an amused expression.

"Snivellus?" Sirius asked in a completely serious voice. James had been unable to prevent the recreation of the nickname. He had slipped and Sirius had adopted the nickname immediately. It was a small blessing that he had not yet said it directly to Snape's face. The animosity between Snape and Sirius was held to a minimum this time around, much because of James' own self-control around the boy.

"Eww now that would be weird! No, you idiot, our lost dungbombs!"

"Really?!" Sirius exclaimed excited, whereas Remus just rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Really! Ha! Found the book!" James crowed in triumph. He crawled back out from under the bed with a dusty and slightly damaged book. Remus winced at the sight of the book. He hated to see books mistreated.

He threw the book in the trunk and shut it, clicking the locks in place. They were late. In Remus' opinion, it would have been strange had they been on time.

They barely made it onto the Hogwarts Express before it left the station. The four friends managed to get a compartment for themselves by driving out the Hufflepuffs who had been sitting there before. Remus highly disapproved of that but let it slide and didn't even give the normal, long scolding. Christmas was tomorrow after all.

During the train ride they managed to get lectured by Evans and Sam for the use of the newly found dungbombs. Peter managed to burn his eyebrows off while playing Exploding Snap and Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans somehow ended up in James' underwear. James and Sirius got into a mock fistfight on the compartment floor. James' trunk fell on Sirius and for revenge Sirius turned James hair bright blue, which resulted in a small prank war inside the compartment. Peter ate too many chocolate frogs and felt quite sick throughout the rest of the ride. Amidst all this chaos Remus had somehow managed to calmly read his one year advanced charms book.

oOo

The closer they got to Kings Cross the more nervous Sirius felt. He would meet James' parents for the first time. He still was a Black no matter how much he did not want to be one. He would and could not hold it against James parents if they didn't like him because of his family. But he was going to try to make a good impression as possible for him. Too fast for his liking they pulled into Kings Cross station. Remus and Peter left first in search of their families, not before promising to write as often as possible.

James scanned the crowd looking for his mother, and before Sirius could even say anything he had started waving his arm in the air and cried:

"Mum!"

"James!" A woman answered through the many students and families. She rushed forward. Her long braid was coloured in the finest colour of copper with streaks if silver mingling among the copper strands. The sunlight made it glow beautifully, though, so it was hard to even see the signs of age. She was wearing a thick dark blue scarf. Her robe was of a deep indigo beneath her black winter coat. Despite her regal and conservative look, she rushed forward and enveloped James in a hug.

"I missed you so much." She whispered and continued to hug the breath out of him. She leaned back slightly never taking her eyes of her son. "My, you have grown again and you are getting handsomer by the day. You still are my baby, though."

James went beet red and complained with an exaggerated "Mum!", despite the fact that he couldn't be happier that he could experience this again. Merlin, had he missed his parents!

Sirius had to suppress a snigger. She continued to fret over James for a while while Sirius stared at them rather awaked. Reluctantly she let go of James and straightened. She stopped looking at her son and her eyes landed on him. They were the same eyes as James, the exact same hazel color. Only they carried wisdom and kindness whereas James eyes carried intelligence, mischief and the promise of fun.

"You must be Sirius. We read quite a lot about you, when James remembered to write us." She calmly spoke, her voice soft and agreeable.

She looked back at James with a slightly accusing look, who in turn had the decency to look slightly abashed.

"Yes, Mrs. Potter. I am Sirius. It is nice to meet you." If he had looked at James in that moment he would have seen a nearly perfect imitation of Remus' raised eyebrow but his eyes were fixed on Mrs. Potter.

"Oh, what a polite boy you are."

James coughed quite loudly, making Sirius tense almost visibly.

"Nice to meet you too. But please don't call me Mrs. Potter, Dorea is just fine."

Before he had the chance to answer he was encircled in her arms and the smell of cinnamon surrounded him. His mother never hugged him, so he was standing there rather stiffly debating whether or not to return the hug. Over her shoulder he caught James eyes which seemed to tell him 'I told you that they would like you'. She released him and shrunk their trunks.

"Where is dad?" James asked a worried undertone sneaking into his voice.

"At home. The mission ended very early this morning." She smiled reassuringly at him before continuing. "Actually, he wanted to pick you up with me but as he waited for me he fell asleep on the couch. I let him have his rest." She finish with a small chuckle.

James let out a small sigh of relief. Sirius frowned. What mission? James rarely talked about his parents. He had no idea what James father's occupation was. He knew that his mum was a healer, though.

"Did you send out an invitation to Uncle Marius?" James asked as his mum searched inside her handbag for the port key.

"Yes, I did. They will arrive tomorrow evening." Mrs. Potter said with a smile.

"Awesome." James answered with a grin. Sirius watched the exchange with interest. He had never heard of this uncle before. He only now realized that James rarely talked about his family. James had to know all about his own horrible family by now with all the complaining Sirius did almost daily.

"You will like Uncle Marius." James added towards Sirius with a mischievous grin. Sirius had the sudden urge that he should feel wary of whatever James was planning.

"Come on, boys. I can't leave Gilly alone for too long or else he will have finished making dinner without me." Mrs. Potter said with a small fond eye roll.

"Gilly?"

"House elf." James answered before they touched the port key and disappeared. Had Sirius mentioned that he hated port keys? He hated them. He felt dizzy and nauseous when they reappeared in a warm sitting room. When the world finally stopped spinning, Sirius realized that the living room reminded him remarkably of the Gryffindor common room. The walls were a deep scarlet, pictures framed in gold hanging on the wall, old wood floor and a fluffy red carpet in the middle. In front of the fireplace a gigantic Christmas tree was standing. Gorgeous ornaments in warm gold and red were gracing the thick green branches. A fragile looking golden glass star decorated with beautiful swirls sat on top of the tree. One big red couch and a few armchairs were scattered in front of a huge fireplace in which warm embers glowed.

On the couch a man was laying. Tall lanky, messy black hair streaked with grey hairs and glasses perched on his nose. James' father looked like an older version of James, or rather, James looked like younger version of his father. James gestured Sirius to remain silent with his hand and started sneaking up on his father.

"Don't even think about, midget" his father said, without opening his eyes. Even his voice sounded like James, only James' voice was higher.

James pouted "You're no fun at all"

"Nope, just cautious. After all who was the one who dumped the green slimy water of the pond on me when he was five?"

He asked as he sat up. He opened his eyes and looked at James with a raised eyebrow. His eyes were a dark blue.

"Dad, don't give me the eyebrow. I get that nearly every day from Remy!" complained James whereupon James' dad let out a booming laugh. The older man stood up from the couch and swept James into a bone crushing hug with so much force that both of them nearly fell onto the floor. He released him and ruffled through James' hair making it even messier.

"Dad, meet Sirius. Sirius, meet dad." James pointed at each of them.

"Nice to meet you, Mister Potter" Sirius said as politely as possible for him. James' father grimaced.

"No need for all that Mister Potter nonsense. Just call me Charlus" He said with a smile. He didn't hug him as his wife had done but settled to ruffle his hair instead.

"So now, where did my lovely wife go?" he asked turning his attention back to James.

"Kitchen."

Without another word he left the room, in order to stalk his wife. James shook his head before pulling Sirius along once again.

"You know I have legs. Two legs, actually. I can walk on my own, you don't need to pull me everywhere."

"No kidding Sherlock" James answered but he let go of Sirius' arm. Sirius followed James as he climbed the stairs to the second floor.

"What is a ... Sherlock?"

"Muggle thing" James answered and continued walking down the hallway till he stopped in front of a door where a sign was hanging. 'James' room; illegal entry will be punished!'

James room was big. Quidditch posters were hanging on the walls, his desk was spilling over with parchment and one wall was decorated with many pictures. His room was obviously held in red and gold. Their trunks were standing next to an old wooden wardrobe. They fell down onto the big scarlet bed and James turned to Sirius with a huge grin on his face.

"So what are we going to do to the Slytherins when we get back?"

oOo

Regulus woke up with a start. It was still dark outside, even though a peek out of his open window showed a sliver of the first sunlight in the distance. Something had woken him up, and that was _very_ uncommon. He slowly sat up while he looked warily around the room. Suddenly, a loud resounded across the room, effectively startling the boy. Regulus stared at the door with wide eyes as it slowly moved open once the doorknob was turned. His parents would never enter his room in the middle of the night.

"Kreacher?" The question came out of his mouth as a mere whisper. Regulus hoped that his voice did not portray the unease that he felt. There was no answer yet his door swung open to reveal nothing. He had seen the doorknob move, there had to be someone there. Just because his eyes were unable to see anything it did not mean that nobody was there.

"Who's there?!" Regulus demanded hoping that there really was no one there. His hopes were dashed when a voice answered with a heartfelt curse.

"By Merlin's pointy hat, don't scare me like that! You were supposed to be asleep!" A voice said. The speaker remained invisible.

"Who are you?! And what are you doing in my room?" Regulus fervently wished that he had already gotten a wand. If the invisible person wanted to harm him, he had no way to defend himself against any curse.

"Actually I am Father Christmas! For today only! I bring thee a present… or presents depending on how you look at it. Okay, no I am not an old man with a white beard wearing red velvet and hoho-ing the night away. I only know one person that would match a part of that description. Well, now that I think about it, maybe Dumbledore IS Father Christmas. He definitely has the beard for it." The voice commented with an amused undertone.

"What?" Regulus answered completely thrown by the answer.

"Well, to put it simply, here!" With that a package was dropped out of nowhere at the foot of his bed along with an envelope. "It is not poisoned nor will it explode. Well it could explode if you used a bombarda on it but I doubt it." The bemused voice added when it apparently noticed Regulus apprehensive expression.

"I hereby delivered your present with heartfelt Christmas wishes from your brother who is still snoring away and not up before the crack of dawn like me. Lucky him."

"You know Sirius?" Regulus asked startled.

"That's what you're focusing on? And here I thought you would be all over the present." The voice said from the right side of his bed with amusement. "Yes, I know the mangy mutt. Which is why I saddled myself with the duty of delivering your present personally. Raleigh would have been happy to do it especially because you're spoiling her with snacks. Yes, I know about the pieces of your breakfast and dinner you have been feeding my owl."

Before Regulus was able to come up with a response the voice continued talking.

"And it is already nearly 7 o'clock. Getting in here took longer than I had thought even when using the floo network. I have to get back because mum and dad will not be amused if they were unable to find me in my bed. Your brother would start worrying which would end with him being a royal pain in the butt for the rest of the day." The voice complained with fond exasperation.

"So I bid thee farewell, noble son of the rotten house of Black, little brother of my best friend. May you have a wonderful Christmas and I will see you in Hogwarts next year." With those words the door of his room swung shut. Regulus stared blankly at his closed door. His mind was frantically trying to process all he had heard. All of a sudden the door opened again and the voice ran out once more.

"Oh I forgot to tell you that Kreacher will unfreeze in half an hour … I think. My spells are still slightly unstable. Happy Christmas!" The door fell shut again.

Regulus tried to piece together the pieces of information he had received. Firstly the voice was definitely male, but not like an adult male. Secondly he knew Sirius, and thirdly his owl was the owl that had been delivering him Sirius's letters. The speaker went to Hogwarts alongside his brother. His brother was currently staying at his house. James Potter. James _bloody_ Potter. His brother's best friend had somehow been in his room.

He should have realized it sooner. According to his brother's letters only James Potter was reckless enough to break into Grimmauld Place and that only to deliver a present from Sirius. At the thought of the present he lightened the candle on his nightstand and crawled towards the foot of his bed to grab the package. Quickly he ripped of the dark blue wrapping paper. He opened the lid of the box and Regulus couldn't help the confused frown that appeared on his features. Inside the box was a black glass orb. It was about the size of a Bludger. Carefully he touched the orb. Where his warm skin made contact small white lights appeared for a brief second. He pulled the globe out of the box. Maybe inside the envelope there was an explanation. Gently he laid the orb on his blanket. He opened the envelope and was greeted by his brother's messy scrawl.

_Dear Reg,_

_I wish you a happy Christmas and hope that our dear family will not give you too much grief. I hope that you received your present and that you are just as confused as I imagined you'd be. I will not explain what your present is, you will have to find that out yourself. The only hint I will give you is the word 'Astrum'. Have fun. Love ya._

_Sirius_

_Ps.: Never douse it in pumpkin juice, she does not take that kindly.'_

A small snort escaped Regulus as he read the last line. His gaze strayed back to the orb.

"Astrum" The word left his mouth and the orb immediately took on a faint glow. The next moment, Regulus stared in awe around his room. The orb had projected the whole universe on his walls, his floor and his ceiling. All of the stars were painted across his room. The Milky Way was drawn across his bookshelf in its beautiful mystical colours. The brightest star after which his brother was named shone brightly at the top of his ceiling. The star Arctus shone above his window. He could only gape and stare in awe at the universe and stars he adored so much.

Sirius had always helped him sneak onto the rooftop to stargaze even though his brother had never been able to understand his fascination with the stars. He couldn't help but smile as his eyes continued to roam over the night sky that had appeared inside his room.

oOo

"GOOD MORNING!" Somebody boomed loudly into Sirius' right ear. With a startled yelp he sat up. Blearily he looked around James room till he found the origin of the offending loud noise. James was standing at the feet of his bed grinning like a lunatic.

"Oh piss off!" Sirius grumbled as he let himself fall back onto his back. He dragged the pillow over his face hoping to avoid getting up.

"Stop it with the drama." James said as he forcefully pulled the pillow away from Sirius.

"Let me sleep!" Sirius grumbled as he cocooned himself into a blanket burrito.

"You do realize that it is morning? As in, Christmas morning. And Christmas morning entails…" James let his sentence hang and as expected Sirius answered him quite loudly from within his burrito.

"Presents!"

"Correct, so get your behind out of bed." James answered with a laugh. Sirius managed to get even more entangled in his blanket as he tried to get free. James would have helped him had he not found the sight so amusing. In the end, Sirius fell out of the bed with a very undignified yelp.

"First one to reach the Christmas tree gets to open the first present" James exclaimed as he ran out of the door with a loud laugh. Sirius cursed as he nearly tripped over the blanket in his haste to follow James. They stormed through the hallway towards the stairs. James was still in the lead. He jumped on top of the stairs railing to use it as a slide Sirius hot on his heels.

They burst into the living room at the same time making a frantic dash towards the tree.

"Ha! I won!" James exclaimed with a laugh after he had managed to reach the tree shortly before Sirius.

"No fair! You had a bloody head start!" Sirius exclaimed with a pout.

"Still won!" James answered as he stuck his tongue out towards Sirius.

"Boys" An exasperated but fond voice said from behind them.

"Morning, mum, dad!" James answered at the same time as Sirius said "Good Morning." James had completely overlooked his parents as he had burst into the room. His mother was sitting on the floor on top of a pile of cushions. A colourful patchwork blanket was draped over her form. His father was sitting on the couch behind her. He was braiding his wife's hair with a look of utter concentration. His mother always had problems doing more elaborate hairstyles and she only used her wand as a last resort. Surprisingly Charlus was quite good at braiding and styling his wife's hair, which was why he almost always ended up doing her hair.

"Good morning." Dorea smiled at them kindly.

"Morning. James, some letters and packages from your friends arrived via owl his morning. We put them beneath the tree." Charlus informed them as he gently rain his fingers through the still unbraided part of his wife's copper hair.

"Thanks, dad." James said with a grin.

"We will eat breakfast after the presents but, James, guests first." His mother admonished him softly. James pouted whereas Sirius sent him a triumphant grin. James did not want to know how his mother had known about it. Sometimes he had the eerie feeling that she could read his mind. He then reminded himself that, yes, that's exactly what she did, she had just not told him yet. He carefully raised the walls he unconsciously created in his mind since the war. He did not want his parents to see… where he came from, so to say.

"Go on ahead Sirius." Charlus said with a grin, snapping James out of his thoughts.

With an eager grin Sirius eyed the mountain of presents beneath the tree. He grabbed the first one he could reach.

"That's for you, James." He handed the present over before grabbing the next one. This time it was for him. It was from Remus and with a certain amount of distaste he realized that the present had the form of a book. Still he eagerly ripped the wrapping paper away. It was book and the title was '1000 particular pranks'.

"Okay, even though it is a book, this is awesome!" Sirius exclaimed with a gleeful grin. James laughed. James started to open his present. It was also from Remus and James didn't need to guess to know that it was a Quidditch book about brooms and their correct care requirements. He loved that book, had read it in a couple of days the first time around.

James handed a small package over to his mother. Inside was a gorgeous silver and blue hairpin with fragile birds engraved into the metal. She scolded him for buying something so expensive for her but kissed and hugged him all the same. Charlus carefully twisted the pin into Dorea's braided hair. Sirius unpacked Peter's present next. It was filled with all kind of sweets. James present was filled with the same sweets. Charlus opened a present filled with muggle alcohol and snacks. He grinned at James and thanked him with a laugh.

"This makes it seem like I am alcoholic." He commented with amusement. Dorea chuckled whereas James grinned at his father. James ripped opened the next present. It was from Sirius. Inside was a small box. James chuckled when he realized just what he had received. It was his companion for years and had annoyed Lily more than once. The tiny golden snitch that he had used to keep on his person at all times. He opened the box and watched as the golden ball fluttered around him.

"Thanks mate!" James laughed as he threw himself at Sirius hugging him for all he was worth. Sirius grinned feeling happy that James liked his present. He hoped that his friends and Regulus also enjoyed the presents he had sent them. James released Sirius and handed him the present he had secretly bought him. Eagerly, Sirius ripped away the wrapping paper. Inside was an assortment of new dung bombs and muggle firecrackers, which Sirius examined gleefully. Beneath those there was a sneakoscope, something that hadn't been there the first time around. Sirius looked at it once before going back to examining the fireworks. James rolled his eyes at his friend's predictable action. He had only given him the sneakoscope so that he could be warned when his family was up to something dark and sinister. Just a small precaution.

"So it is time to hand over our presents, right?" Dorea said as she leaned back and grinned up at her husband. Charlus kissed her forehead before nodding. Slowly he stood up and walked towards the tree. He leaned down and fished two presents out from beneath the tree. With a grin he handed them over to Sirius and James.

After they ripped the wrapping paper away a pair of dress robes lay in front of them. James' father laughed at their disgruntled expressions.

"They are for this evening." Dorea explained with a gentle smile. "You will have to wear them." She added sternly.

"But Mum-"James tried to protest. He loathed dress robes.

"No buts Mister. Same goes for you Sirius." Her stern gaze moved over to him when he started snickering.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Sirius mock saluted in her direction.

Charlus reached beneath the tree again and pulled out a small box wrapped in scarlet wrapping paper. With a gentle smile he handed it over to James. Carefully he unwrapped the present. Inside was an old golden pocket watch.

"It has been in our family for generations just as our cloak. Now it is yours." Charlus explained. James let the nostalgic weight of the watch rest in his hands. Harry had never received the watch. It had crumbled together with their home. Together with their dreams and hopes.

"Thanks, dad." James' voice was thick with an emotion that no one in the room could truly understand. He hoped that they would never have to feel anything like that. He wanted to spare them from such devastation and pain. No, he would spare them from those heavy burdens.

"You're not receiving nearly as many presents as last year simply because we have something special for you." Charlus explained with a wink in their direction. Dorea stood up as well and walked to her husband's side. Together they pulled out two large tightly wrapped packages from beneath the tree.

"Happy Christmas." They said with grins as they handed the suspiciously formed presents over.

"You are the best parents in the world." James exclaimed gleefully. It didn't matter that it was an older model than what he had seen in the future. It was still the very first one he had ever owned. Sirius stared in frozen awe at the package.

"I …you …that-" The words tumbled out of Sirius mouth as he stared wide eyed at the package. "I-I cannot possibly accept something like this."

"It is yours and there are no take backs." Charlus said as his wife smiled softly at Sirius. Dorea walked forward and kneeled in front of Sirius. She gently brushed a loose strand of hair out of his face.

"See it as a small thank you. Thank you for being our son's first true and best friend." She smiled gently as her fingers ran through his dark hair. Sirius had to fight against the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"I … Thank you. It's the first time I've ever received something like this." Sirius managed a weak grin. James scowled. Books about pure blood superiority and about dark magic. Devices that could hurt someone with Muggle blood. Those were the standard presents Sirius had always received from his so called family. Only Andromeda had ever given him something else, even though even then she could mostly only present him with sweets without his mother confiscating them. A dark expression hushed over his parents' features before their faces cleared.

Dorea pulled Sirius into a hug that he returned after a brief moment of hesitation. "You're welcome. You deserve it. You deserve so much more."

James pretended not to hear the sniffle that Sirius hid in his mother's robe. He gritted his teeth. Sometimes he really wished he could have some kind of really nasty revenge against the Black family.

"So now ready to open it?" Dorea asked as she gently rubbed the few tears that leaked away with her sleeve. Sirius grinned broadly and nodded. With eager hands he ripped away the wrapping paper. A brand new nimbus 1001 lay in his lap.

"This is so awesome, so bloody awesome!" Sirius exclaimed with a maniac like grin. James laughed pleased with himself. He had told his parents all about Sirius nasty presents and horrible parents in his last letter. Last time only James had received a Nimbus 1001 but this time he had managed to persuade his mother to give Sirius one as well. The fact that he had never owned a broom and was only rarely allowed to fly one of the few ones they had in Grimmauld Place, had actually managed to win his Quidditch obsessed parents over.

"Come on, we need to test them!" James exclaimed with a laugh as he rushed towards the door that lead into their garden.

"Boys, as much as I love flying, at least get dressed." Dorea's voice stopped them and made them change course towards James' room to change, the new brooms clutched in their hands. Loud bumps and laughter followed in their wake.

"They are chaotic but adorable." Dorea sighed with a fond smile as her husband's arms encircled her from behind.

"That they are." Charlus said with snicker. He gently kissed her shoulder. Dorea smiled softly and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Do you really think things have become as horrible as James wrote?" Dorea asked quietly. A sad expression settled on her features

"I'm sorry to say so, but yes I can see what James saw. Sirius is not used to something as simple as affection. I don't doubt that they could and maybe have hurt him." Charlus said in a sombre voice. He hated it when someone he considered family was hurt. James considered Sirius as his brother already, so he was family.

"I really do not want it to be true but I know them. I know them too well" Dorea said with a frown. Dorea let out a distressed noise. "They are children. Nothing more than mere children. Isn't it our duty to protect them and make sure that they happy? Yet my family always hurts its children in one way or another. Why can't they see when they are wrong? Why can't they see when they inflict so much pain? Why do they not care?" Charlus' arms tightened around her. "Did you see how he hesitated when I hugged him? It seems as if his own mother never hugged him. How can you not love, kiss and hug your own child?" Her voice was filled with pain and tears that were threatening to spill over.

"Hush, don't cry. Sweetheart, they have forgotten what love is supposed to be. They are blinded by their supposed superiority. They no longer care who they hurt, even when the ones they hurt are their own children. It hurts. Don't forget you are no longer a Black, you're a Potter. And what are we Potters best at? Protecting. We will protect them. We will make sure that Sirius and his little brother won't get hurt by their family." Charlus said confidently as he comforted his wife. Dorea send him a watery smile.

"You're right. I am a Potter and I will not allow anyone to harm those that are part of my chosen family" A certain amount of steel had entered her voice.

"Ah, that's the woman that I fell in love with." Charlus grinned. A small laugh escaped Dorea.

"I love you." She smiled softly.

"And I love you my bat swinging angel."

"You are never letting that one go are you?" She asked with resigned sigh.

"Never."

oOo

**A.N.: I have no excuse other than that life got in the way. So I humbly apologize for my late update. The next one might take a while because I am moving at the end of this month. So I apologize in advance.**

**I had fun writing James' parents and yes she is a Black. I am going along with the Black family tree because it has so much nice story potential. :) **

**Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are as always welcome ^-^ **


	15. White Hearts among the Pitch Black

Chapter 15

White Hearts among the Pitch Black

oOo

"Mum, do we really need to wear dress robes?" James whined. He hated dress robes. He utterly loathed them. They made him feel as if he was suffocating, and he was quite sure Sirius, who was tucking on his collar next to him, felt the same.

"Yes, you need to wear them." His mother said sternly as she fluttered around them. James resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Mum, you do realize that they are going to come in muggle clothes, not dress robes, right?" James said in a deadpan voice.

"It doesn't matter." His mother waved his words away. James sighed. He shared a look with Sirius. _'I tried_' was the unspoken message he sent towards him.

Sirius flushed when his mother moved over to him and started to straighten his robe and gently brush the hair out of his face. James grinned as he watched his mother fret over his best friend. Sirius was soaking up the affection his mother delivered without thought. Every gentle touch elicited a nearly awed expression on his best friend's face.

James could also see his father sitting on the couch watching the small spectacle with amusement.

They had spent most of the day flying on their new brooms, racing each other as they rushed over the tree tops of the forest behind their garden. It had been a good day.

The ringing of the doorbell interrupted Dorea in the middle of trying to get James' hair to do what she wanted. With a resigned sigh, she gave up. As soon as her back was turned, James ruffled through his hair, returning it to the state it had been in before his mother had gotten her hands on it. James and Sirius trailed after his parents as they moved to open the door.

As soon as the door opened, a blur rammed into James, nearly knocking him off-balance. A little girl in a red dress had barreled into him.

"Jamie!" The grinning face of his little cousin looked up at him as her tiny arms tried to wrap around him. She had her mother's almond eyes and her father's thick black hair, which was pulled back in two pigtails. Her skin looked like toffee and her smile was just as sweet.

"Hey, Layla. You've gotten big!" James exclaimed with a laugh as he hugged her. Her grin widened. He had forgotten how small she had been. He had banished all though of her and her parents from his mind. Their memory tainted with their blood drenched and painful deaths. His little cousin had been younger than him when she was killed. The Body of her older sister laying on top of her. Isla had shielded her, trying to save her. He clenched his eyes shut for a moment as he buried his face in her hair. As best as he could he pushed the memories into the farthest corner of his mind.

"May I introduce you to my best friend?" He asked her with a strained smile that she couldn't see. She nodded against his chest.

"Sirius, this is my little cousin Layla. She's just turned six." He grinned at his best friend, hoping that Layla's renewed hero worship of Sirius was enough to stop him from dwelling on dark thoughts. "Layla, this is my best friend from Hogwarts, Sirius."

As intended at the mention of Hogwarts, Layla released James and turned her attention towards Sirius.

"Hoggy? Tell me about Hoggy!" Sirius barely had the chance to blink at her nickname for Hogwarts before she clung to him as she had to James moments before. Sirius sent an alarmed look in James' direction, but his friend was finding too much amusement in the sight of Sirius trying to placate a six year old to be of much help.

"James, dear. It's good to see you" With a pleased smile, James turned around to grin at his aunt. Amanda was still as strikingly beautiful as ever. Her skin was the colour of dark cinnamon. Her ebony hair shimmered like mahogany in the warm light of the torches lining the walls of the entrance. Her dress was wine red embroidered at the sleeves and neckline with gold stitching. Her almond eyes smiled down at him.

A flash of her dead body hanging on the wall of their home, Words drawn with her own blood smeared all over her, appeared before his eyes. He forced the image away, trying to banish it with the warm smile she was bestowing upon him. It eased the darkness of the memories and helped to make him breathe a little easier.

"It's good to see you, too." He smiled as she hugged him. She smelled like exotic spices and secrets of a foreign land. She smelled like life, there was not a trace of the heavy iron scent of blood.

"I brought some more sweets from my mother." At his aunt's words, James face involuntary lit up. She laughed. "You managed to completely wrap her around your little finger."

"What can I say, her handmade sweets are the best and I am not above using underhanded strategies to get to them" James smirked. Amanda rolled her eyes before she ruffled through James hair.

"Cheeky brat" James grinned up at her as innocently as he possibly could.

"Where is Isla?" James asked.

"She is staying over at her boyfriend's today." Amanda answered. He was a bit disappointed that he would not get to see his older cousin. He had missed her, even though she was awfully prim and proper. Still she had always old the best stories and was a gently and kind soul.

"Uncle Marius will let her stay at a boy's house overnight?" James asked amused.

"Well, I could convince him that David is a trustworthy boy that would not harm his sweet daughter in any way." Amanda said with a grin. James had the feeling that convince meant threaten.

"James! Help!" Sirius send a pleading look towards James as Layla tried to climb on top of his shoulders.

"Sweetie, Sirius is not a tree which you can climb on top of." With an amused expression Amanda freed Sirius from her over enthusiastic daughter.

"James." James turned towards his uncle. "Uncle Marius." He inclined his head in greeting. His uncle was tall with long black hair and storm grey eyes, the Black family traits most obvious in his features. He wore a suit and James managed to detect a barely there smile on his stoic features. He reached forward and hugged him, something he had done very few time in both his lives.

He didn't want to think about how they had tortured his uncle for being a Squib before ultimately killing him. They had made him watch as they killed his wife and daughters. He didn't want to remember the torn body he had found. He tightened his hold on his uncle. He felt his uncle freeze for a second before he returned the hug just as fiercely. He could hear his heartbeat and that more than anything else prevented his dark thoughts from consuming him.

After he stepped back from his Uncle, he dragged Sirius over to his side.

"May I introduce you to my Uncle Marius Sirius Black, an utterly awesome uncle and disowned member of the Black family" James said with flourish as Sirius froze next to him. "Uncle Marius this is Sirius Orion Black" A certain steel glinted in Marius eyes as he regarded the shocked Sirius. Whatever he had seen in Sirius' expression must have satisfied him because his eyes lost their steel.

"Another white sheep among the black ones." A hint of mirth slipped into his uncle's voice as he held his hand out for Sirius to shake.

oOo

Regulus sat frozen in his seat, his fork still half raised towards his mouth. He blinked and… No, the scene hadn't miraculously changed. His Uncle was still sitting there with a very angry expression. His parents' faces had morphed into expressions of horrified repulsion and his aunt looked like she was about to faint. Narcissa look as horrified as his parents whereas Bellatrix looked as murderous as her father. Next to him, Andromeda regarded them with an expression of cool indifference, yet he could feel her hands tremble on her tights. Slowly he sat the fork down.

"What did you say?!" His uncle's face had changed into a worrisome colour of red. His mouth was pulled into what one could call a snarl. Slowly as not to draw attention to what he was doing, Regulus moved his hand beneath the table. Gently he laid his hand over his cousins' trembling fingers. Her fingers closed around his in a vice grip. She sneaked a glance towards him. Andromeda's gaze gentled for a second as she regarded him before she returned her cold gaze towards her father.

"Ted Tonks asked me to marry him and I said yes." Andromeda's words were like a bomb that had been dropped into their relatively nice Christmas dinner. It had been nice till the moment aunt Durella started suggesting marriage partners for Andromeda.

"You will not marry that- that FILTHY MUDBLOOD!" Cygnus shouted.

"You promised Andi! You promised that you had stopped seeing him last year!" Narcissa wailed in indignation.

"YOU KNEW?!" Bellatrix thundered her murderous gaze moving on to the sister next to her.

"You will do no such thing, young lady." Regulus' father said darkly. His voice was as cold as ice and Regulus tightened the gip on his cousin's hand.

"YOU WILL NOT MARRY THAT MUDBLOOD!" His mother screeched from next to his father.

"YOU WILL NOT MARRY HIM! YOU WILL NOT DRAG THE NAME OF OUR FAMILY THROUGH THE MUD!" Cygnus thundered.

"YOU WILL IMMIDEATLY BREAK THINGS OFF WITH THAT ABOMINATION! HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE TOUCHED YOU WITH HIS FILTHY HANDS!" His mother screamed. Her voice sounded like the screeching of nails across a chalkboard.

"Please Andi do not go through with this madness." Aunt Durella pleaded softly.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE MY SISTER! HOW COULD YOU TOUCH ONE OF THOSE FILTHY WORMS?!" Bellatrix's voice matched the tone and volume of his mother's. Regulus suppressed a flinch at the malice and hate in his relative's voices. Andromeda sat in her chair unmoving seemingly unaffected by the hate swirling in the room. The only indignation of distress was the way she tightly clutched Regulus' hand.

"YOU WILL SAY NO AND HEX THE INSIGNIFICANT WORM TO AN EARLY GRAVE!" Bellatrix said with a command in her voice that usually everyone complied to.

"No." Andromeda said with a calm coldness that Regulus envied.

"What?!" Cygnus hissed through clenched teeth.

"I said no. I will not comply with your wishes. I am going to marry Ted Tonks, an outstanding wizard."

"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!" Cygnus roared. Regulus' ears started ringing from all the noise.

"YOUR NAME WILL BE BURNED OFF! WE WILL DISOWN YOU!" His mother screamed.

"THEN DISOWN ME!" Andromeda shouted suddenly. She sprang up from her seat after gently releasing her hold on Regulus' hand. "I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS FAMILY NAME! I DO NOT CARE FOR TRADITION AND _TOUJOURS PUR_!" She said their mote with the same disgust her family said anything related to muggles, and for that courage, borderline Gryffindor, Regulus had to admire her. "I LOVE HIM! IT WOULDN'T MATTER TO ME IF HE WAS A MUGGLE, A WIZARD OR A WEREWOLF! I WOULD LOVE HIM ANYWAYS!"

Silence reigned after her outburst. It was the first time ever that Regulus had heard his gentle cousin shout. She drew a deep breath.

"I love him and therefore I am going to marry him no matter what you say. And since you cannot see past your own foolish superiority, this is goodbye. I will never return to this family." With those words, Andromeda turned around to leave with her head held high.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Bellatrix screeched and drew he wand. She pointed it at her own sister. Regulus froze. Andromeda stopped moving just as she laid her hand on the doorknob.

"Bella" Andromeda sighed and whirled around with her wand drawn. "_Expelliarmus_." Bellatrix's wand flew out of her hand and landed with a clatter in the far corner of the room. Bellatrix expression was one of shock as she looked into the sad face of her older sister.

"Bella, little sister. Don't. I have made my choice as you've made yours. Darkness will not make you stronger. Narcissa, dear sister, watch over her and follow your heart, please. Goodbye" With those last words, she opened the door and disappeared into the hallway. The adults started shouting again but Regulus ignored them. He ran across the room and burst into the hallway but his favourite cousin was already gone.

First Sirius had left and now Andromeda, the gentle big sister he adored. All the kind ones, the ones that loved him left. He was always left behind. The loneliness was like a black hole that was eating at him. He needed his brother. With that thought in mind, Regulus hastily walked up the stairs to his room. Even though his brother was not physically there, he could at least write him and read the old letters to feel closer to him.

When he walked into the room he was surprised by the sight of Andromeda's barn owl Iris sitting on top of his chair. In her beak, she was clutching an envelope with his name on it. He took the letter from her after petting her once. His name was written on it in a purple cursive writing he semi-recognized. He ripped it open.

_Dear Reg,_

_I am sorry. I am sorry that I am leaving you alone in this house. I am sorry for my absence. I am sorry that you had to see and hear all that. I love you, little cousin. Don't ever think that Sirius or I abandoned you. Ever. If you ever need me, I will come. Be it for something as insignificant as unscrewing a stubborn glass of your favourite cherry marmalade. I know you. I know that your heart is in the right spot. I know that. So listen to that heart, don't let our family rule you. You're as bright as the star that you were named after. You are the lion's heart. Don't become lost in the darkness around you._

_Love you_

_Your cousin forever_

_Andromeda_

_P.s.: Ted's address is written on the other slip of paper. I hope you will write to me. I am sorry._

A small involuntary smile sneaked across his lips. Andromeda had always loved making star comments because of their names. Regulus, the brightest star in the constellation Leo the lion. It had always amused him that he, as future Slytherin, was named after a star that was also called the lion's heart. He had always believed that he would become a snake but now he wasn't so sure anymore, not after Sirius and all his letters...

He shook his head and grabbed two blank pieces of parchments of his desk.

Soon only the scratching of the quill moving across the parchment was heard in his room as he wrote Sirius and Andromeda letters.

With a sigh he dropped the quill. He didn't know how much time had passed, he only knew that the enraged shouting from his family had stopped. It was pitch black outside.

"Iris, here is a letter for Andromeda and could you deliver a letter for Sirius, as well?" Regulus asked as he stroked the owl's crown. The owl hooted softly and Regulus took it as a yes.

"Sirius is currently at Potter Manor, can you find that?" Iris sent him an indignant look as if the question was insulting.

"Thank you, wait a moment I will sneak up some treats for you." Regulus said as he sneaked out of his room. As quietly as possible he sneaked down the stairs. When he walked past a certain door he couldn't help but look inside. The Tapestry hung ominously in the room and truly they had burned away Andromeda's face and name. A bitter feeling coursed through him as he gently touched the newest burn mark. He shook his head and quickly left the room. He could hear Kreacher's snore lightly in the kitchen. He walked past him on the tip of his toes trying to be as silent as possible as not to wake his friend from his much needed rest. He quickly took some cookies from the pantry and stuffed them into the pockets of his robe. He silently walked back the way he came. Just as he closed the door of the kitchen behind him he came face to face with Bellatrix.

"Reg." She smiled at him and for some odd reason it sent a shiver down his spine.

"Bella." He inclined his head and hoped that none of the panic he was feeling was showing on his face. He had left all of Sirius' letters lying around on top of his desk. If she went into his room before coming here, she would have found them and that was in no way good.

"Unable to sleep?" She asked with concern written all over her features. The concern seemed wrong somehow, as if it was fake. Regulus regarded her silently before deciding to simply go with the excuse she had presented him with. He nodded once. She sighed.

"She abandoned us all. Just turned her back on her family. Over some Mudblood! I know she was your favourite. You and Sirius always followed her around like little ducklings" A sneer crossed over her features. It disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"If you need someone just tell me. You're my baby cousin. It is my duty to help you." She said and drew him into a hug.

"I can teach you some spells and spend time with you if you're feeling lonely. There are a lot of things I could show you." During another time he might have been comforted by her words and taken her up on her offer but now it felt wrong. He didn't feel abandoned anymore, not since Sirius had started sending him letters weekly. The dark undertone in her words made him feel sickly. He felt uncomfortable with her presence.

"Thank you, Bella. I will" The word _not_ sneaked into his thoughts.

"Good." She patted his head. "Now off to bed you go." Regulus nodded and hurried past her. Just as he was about to descend the stairs he looked over his shoulder. Bellatrix's fake expression had fallen away and cold and dark eyes regarded him. He quickly turned around hastily made his way back towards his room. He let out a sigh of relief when the lock of his door clicked into place.

oOo

"He called me an angle at our first meeting." Dorea's eyes were alit with laughter. Layla giggled next to her. The dinner had progressed and Sirius marvelled at the difference with the dinners he knew from his family. They talked about their superiority, complained about the Ministry, sneered at the Muggleborns and were all around unpleasant. With the Potters it was light hearted banter and stories of mischievous youth.

"I had a concussion from the bloody bludger you hit me with!" Charlus complained with an indignant huff. "I clearly wasn't thinking clearly."

"Sure, that is probably the reason you continued to call me angle afterwards." Dorea said with a smile.

"You were the only Slytherin Beater to ever apologize to a Gryffindor chaser for giving him a concussion", Marius added with wan amusement.

"Oh you were in Slytherin?" Amanda asked as she helped herself to some more chocolate mousse. Even though she was a Muggle after over 19 years of being married to a man from a wizard family she knew a lot about the magical world.

"Yes, my house was Slytherin. The hat actually wanted to put me into Ravenclaw but I objected. My family would not have been pleased with that at all even though they still thought it was better than Gryffindor or Hufflepuff." Dorea sighed. "Now, I realize that I would have been much happier in Ravenclaw. Slytherin is no longer a house to be proud of." Dorea's words were underlined by a certain wistfulness.

"What do you mean, .. Dorea?" Sirius asked. He found it very hard to imagine that James mother had been in Slytherin, just as he found it very hard to think of her as a Black.

"Slytherin are the sly ones the ones that could become someone great. Merlin would be a good example. He was a Slytherin but never the kind of Slytherin that now roam the halls of Hogwarts." Dorea took a sip of her tea. James watched her silently.

"Slytherin is all about connections, about plans and schemes, about ambitions. It is about using the means you have the most efficient way to reach those ambitions." Charlus said as he looked at his wife with a small smile.

"It should never be about superiority, blood purity, vanity. There is nothing great in that. They can never achieve the greatness Slytherin promises if they build it upon their misconception. They are no better than, Halfbloods, Muggleborns or Muggles. We are all made of flesh and bone. There is no difference between Muggle and Wizard or Witch. They have become blind and greedy." Dorea said with a small sigh.

"Our family the worst of all. For how could one hurt their own little brother just because he had no magic? How could they try to kill one of their own?" Dorea asked with a pain filled voice. Her gaze was glued to her brother as if she were afraid that he would disappear. Charlus slung and arm around his wife's shoulder and kissed her cheek, trying to comfort her.

"You saved me. Stop dwelling on the past" Marius voice seemed cold but for an unknown reason Dorea relaxed. He was her little brother, she knew him better than anybody and whatever she heard in his voice calmed her.

"Your Brother is right. What's done is done. You saved him from your family." Charlus said as his hand gently stroked her back.

"It is a wonder that I have not yet been burned of the tapestry," Dorea said with a small chuckle that lacked any joy.

"Well you were very Slytherin in your rescue and your older Brother blindly adores you." Charlus said with an amused quirk of his lips. "Even though I thought they would burn you off because of our marriage. Your family was far from pleased. Very far from pleased."

"When is our family ever pleased?" Marius said darkly. Amanda reached for his hand and squeezed.

"When we are all dead probably" Sirius commented. Marius inclined his head in agreement. After the initial shock at being introduced to a Black that was no longer a part of the family had died down, he remembered seeing his name on the Tapestry. Marius Black was a Squib with no magic at all. Something which was unacceptable in their family. The few hints about his time in their family were more than enough for him to feel queasy. He didn't want to think about how horrible that must have been for him. He felt pleased that he was happy with a wife and two daughters. Amanda was the first muggle he had ever met so it was no wonder that the first half of dinner was spent asking her all kinds of questions.

"Morbid but probably true. I had an unfortunate encounter with Cassiopeia last week. I think she spend the whole time sneering at me." Charlus said with an eye roll. It was almost unnoticeable but Marius froze in his seat.

"You didn't tell me about that." Dorea said with an accusing look.

"I didn't want you cursing your older sister again. You two caused quite the scene last time." Charlus patted his wife's hand soothingly.

"She had it coming. Whatever you cursed her with had better lasted a long time." Amanda said with vicious smirk.

"Oh believe me, she was running around with boils all over her face for at least two weeks." Dorea answered.

"Mum, you can be really scary." James commented as he reached for his glass of juice.

"Anybody who hurts someone she loves should better be careful" Charlus said with a grin.

"True, very true" Marius said with a soft smile.

"How is Halana doing?" Dorea asked Amanda with a smile. Obviously trying to change the topic.

"My mother is as fit as fiddle. She spent the beginning of winter in Greece together with her sisters. She complained quite loudly about the amount of tourists." Amanda said with a chuckle.

"Oh dear, I hope she didn't complain too loudly in front of the tourists. She can be quite blunt" Dorea said with a chuckle. James ignored the discussion his aunt and mother fell into and turned towards his father.

"Dad, did anything interesting happen at work?" James asked took another slice of strawberry and chocolate cake.

"Well, nothing really significant. We just had a case of someone trying to rob a shop in Diagon alley, only to be knocked out by a book that had fallen from a shelf." Charlus said with an amused quirk of his lips.

"Nothing else, nothing dark and sinister?" James asked with a pout.

"No, not really." Charlus said as he regarded his son with a curious expression. "Oh we had someone who tried to do one of those old blood rituals. We managed to stop it in time. And the case of someone stealing some brooms."

"The poor brooms! Forever taken from their owner!" Sirius wailed dramatically making Layla next to him giggle.

"I would bawl my eyes out should my broom be taken" James said seriously.

"Can we fly later?" Layla asked with big begging eyes.

"Not sure. Ask your parents." James answered.

"Daaaaad, can Jamsie take me flying?" Layla turned her begging eyes towards her father.

"It is already dark outside. Maybe tomorrow." Marius said.

"But Daaaaaad!"

"No. Tomorrow, darling." Marius stayed firm and with a pout Layla sank into her seat.

"Cheer up, Princess. We have lots of other magical stuff we could do." James said with a grin. Lalya's answering smile was interrupted by a big yawn.

"Or maybe the princess needs her canopy bed." Sirius said with a smirk. He had quickly gotten used to the little girl. Her adorableness was lethal.

"May we be excused from the table?" James asked with a grin.

"Stop it. Formalities from you sound strange." Charlus wrinkled his nose in mock disgust. "Go!"

James and Sirius jumped up and dragged Layla off with them. They showed her their wands and uniform, their books and their stuff for potions. Layla fell into a discussion about frill and lace with the portrait of great-great-grandmother Potter. In the middle of a round of exploding snap she fell asleep leaning against Sirius. Gently Sirius picked her up and put her to bed in one of the guest bedrooms. They returned to James' room.

A knocking noise interrupted their half-hearted attempt at cleaning up the mess they had made. James opened and a barn owl flew into his room to land on the back of his couch.

"Iris, what are you doing her girl?" Sirius asked with amazement in his voice.

"You know her?" James asked as he closed the window from the winter chill. He didn't remember Iris visiting them during Sirius first Christmas at his home.

"Yes. She's Andromeda's owl." Sirius petted the owl's head before untying the letter at her feet. He opened the letter and James could watch as the colour slowly drained out of Sirius' face.

"They disowned Andromeda."

oOo

**A.N.: I know that there was an update from JKR regarding James parents but I am going to completely ignore that. Because I like what the fandom came up with and I like that we fans could fill in the blanks with our own ideas. And I already planned the whole ff with the Black family setting. So if I were to write it according to JKR some of my plot devices wouldn't work and I am looking forward to writing those. And I finished moving to my new home so updates might become more regular again. Sadly I cannot promise it completely because university started this Monday and the beginning of the workload is only just at the, well, beginning. Also there is no internet in my apartment till the 28****th**** of October. Hurray Univeristy Wlan, my saviour. **

**I adore Regulus as one might have noticed he will often appear in this ff especially during James' second year. Oh and I made Marius younger than Dorea. According to the tapestry Marius is older than her. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reviews are as always welcome.**


	16. Warm embraces and healing cuts

Chapter 16

Warm embraces and healing cuts

oOo

King's Cross was filled with people bustling about, trying to reach their trains or pick someone dear up. Faces were half-hidden in thick scarves and cold hands safely tucked in the pockets of warm coats. Some had pulled knitted hats over their freezing ears, others were clutching hot tea between their hands trying to keep themselves warm in the January cold.

James never felt more blessed for the invention of heating charms. His mother had been so kind to place them on him and Sirius. It was the only reason why they were not shivering or freezing important appendages off. Even with the heating charm in place, the wind still felt like tiny needles trying to pierce the skin, so James borrowed his nose deeper in his deep red scarf. Sirius had protested against the knitted hat his mother had tried to get him to wear. His ears were stark red from the cold where they peeked out of his dishevelled hair. At least he was wearing gloves. James' father had let himself be bullied into warm clothes without complaint.

He was pushing his trolley in front of him with Raleigh asleep in his cage, whereas Basset was watching the passing muggles with glaring yellow eyes. The big owl looked like an angry ball of fluff in her cage on top of Sirius trolley.

James' mother was walking between the two boys, her hair braided again and she was wearing her long coat that had the colour of a dark forest. She walked with a regal grace that James could never ever hope to copy. His father was walking next to Sirius. His stance was relaxed and an easy smile graced his face yet his eyes strayed over the crowd of people always alert for the slightest sign of danger. His wand was always within reach, ready for any situation. His father was always an Auror even when off duty.

Some of the muggles were staring at them with wide eyes. Whether or not this was because of their owls or because of the accessories James had added to their clothes, he couldn't quite determine. He had been unable to resist adding a little touch to his hat and to Sirius' coat. People were openly starring at the pair of antlers growing out of his red knitted hat. The black dog tail on Sirius coat garnered just as much attention. His father had merely looked amused at the sight of them whereas his mother had looked ready to lecture him, or rather them. Even though Sirius hadn't helped him it was automatically presumed that he had done so. James knew that this presumption would follow them all throughout Hogwarts, and even later on, and that thought alone made him smile. Charlus had saved them from Dorea's wrath so they had managed to escape punishment. James was finding great amusement in walking around with antlers, even if it made his head feel a bit heavier. Apparently, he had to get used to them all over again. Sirius had complained quite loudly about the tail, saying it only got in his way. He had sworn that he would take revenge on James.

"You still haven't told me why a dog's tail." Sirius grumbled from beside him.

"You will hopefully know before fifth year." James answered with a grin.

"You know, I won't accept that answer! So tell me now!" Sirius insisted.

"Nope!" James' cheerful retort only caused his friend to send him a glare.

"No, no, no, you don't get to say no. So truth, now!" Sirius exclaimed as he jumped towards James, ready to tickle him- their main weapon throughout their first three years at Hogwarts. James jumped out of the way of his friend's wiggly fingers with a laugh.

"Aww, is little Siripoo curious? Too bad I won't tell you!" James stuck his tongue out playfully and once again evaded his friend as he tried to grab him.

"Boys, not in the middle of King's Cross!" Dorea scolded lightly. Both boys immediately subsided.

"Mum! Don't spoil all our fun!" James pouted. It felt so damn good to act like a child again. Sirius nodded, albeit a bit sheepishly. His mother laughed and gently patted his head.

"Exactly, Angel. Don't spoil their fun." Charlus said with a grin from besides Sirius.

"Oh hush, you big child." Dorea's words were underlined with a fond eye roll. Charlus smirked and threw her a kiss.

They came to an abrupt stop a few meters in front the wall leading towards Platform 9 3/4. Muggles walked past them, ignorant to the gateway that was just in front of them.

"Last one through has to buy the sweets!" Sirius shouted suddenly. James could only blink once before Sirius had already started running. His trolley screeched as the four rusted wheels rolled across the stone floor.

"Oy!" James exclaimed as he ran after his madly laughing friend. He didn't even flinch as he rushed through the stone wall in front of him. He ran and came to an abrupt stop besides Sirius.

"That was cheating!" James exclaimed between his heavy breaths.

"Nope I won fair and square!" Sirius had a grin on his face as he regarded James.

"That was anything but fair and square! You had a head start!" James protested.

"Though I have no idea what you're talking about. I would always win against you!" Sirius added with a devilish smirk.

"Oh I doubt that! I want a rematch!" James insisted.

"There will be no rematch." His mother said from behind him. James nearly jumped a foot in the air, having not heard his parents' arrival. Dorea was looking down upon them with a light frown.

"Aw, sucks. I would have loved to beat you again." Sirius said.

"Ha! You wish I would have been the winner!" James protested as he lightly puffed out his chest.

"No, I would win!" Sirius insisted.

"No, you wouldn't win!"

"Yes, I would!"

"No, you wouldn't!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Sometimes I feel as if we had two six year olds on a permanent cheering charm on our hands." Charlus couldn't help but comment. He shared an amused look with his wife as they followed the two bickering boys towards the Hogwarts express.

"Now we've got double the trouble." Dorea added as she watched the boys with a fond smile.

"Yet I doubt that we would want to go back to only half the trouble" Charlus shared a warm smile with his wife. A loud laugh from Sirius dragged his attention away from his wife at least for a moment. He watched him gesture wildly while laughing.

"It is good to see him laughing. Andromeda's disownment had dragged him down horribly." Dorea said out loud the words he had thought.

"I was quite impressed with the amount of swearwords he knows." Charlus added as he remembered Sirius angry outburst after reading Andromeda's letter.

"That is nothing to be impressed with!" Dorea lightly slapped his arm, admonishing her too amused husband. He grinned at her utterly unrepentant.

"But it is true that it is nice to see that he cheered up so quickly." Charlus added as he watch James fling an arm across Sirius' shoulder.

"James played no small part in that." Dorea couldn't help the paternal pride that leaked into her voice.

"True, very true." Charlus conceded with an equal amount of pride ringing in his voice. He was proud of his son. Something caught his attention out of the corner of his sight.

"Blacks at 4o'clock" He whispered into his wives ear. She sneaked a glance around him and indeed Andromeda's two sisters were standing there talking to their mother. The poor woman looked like she hadn't slept a wink. Durella Black was usually the embodiment of prim and proper but now she looked dishevelled and tired. Dark circles and a sickly complexion included. She did not at all look like a cold and composed Black, she looked like a mother going crazy with worry. She probably hadn't heard a word from her daughter and, according to her husband, her daughter was as good as dead. Maybe she could help. The woman in front of her did not at all seem like someone to hurt their children.

"Angel, at least start your plotting after the train leaves." Charlus whispered with a clear smile in his voice. She blinked in confusion and realized with a start that the trunks had disappeared from the trolleys. Only the owls were still there. Sirius and James stumbled out of the train. Grins etched across their faces. James had apparently taken his antler hat off and Sirius had shed his coat.

"Peter reserved a compartment for us." Sirius grinned as he came to a stop in front of them.

"We will take the owls there and come back for a proper goodbye. No worries mum!" James winked at them before he and Sirius ran off again with the owls in their cages.

"I don't plot!" Dorea persisted as if their son hadn't interrupted them at all.

"Sure you don't, my golden snake" He kissed her lightly on the mouth. Dorea huffed and crossed her arms.

"Eww! Mum! Dad stop being all gross!" James exclaimed from in front of them with an over exaggerated expression of disgust on his face.

"Did you just call your parents gross, young man?!" Charlus voice was filled with mock outrage. He darted forward and before his son could escape he had him in a headlock. James laughed and vigilantly tried to set himself free. Even though James himself had once been an Auror just like his father he could not get free of his grip. The two main problem were probably that he was in an eleven year olds body and that his father had years of training, experience and muscle mass on him.

"Without us being gross you wouldn't be in this world!" His father ruffled through his hair with his knuckles making it even more of a mess.

"Ewww! Too much information! Sirius, help!" James shouted between the laughter he couldn't stop from escaping.

"Release the princess thou foul dragon!" Sirius shouted as he pretended to draw a sword. He jumped onto Charlus' back trying to get him to release James.

"Oy! I ain't a princess." James protested loudly. Charlus laughed not releasing James even with Sirius hanging off his shoulders. Sirius grinned broadly from where he was holding onto him. It had taken Charlus the whole holyday period to get Sirius comfortable enough with him to do something like this, as his own father had never done something remotely close to this. Charlus felt a little smug for having been able to get Sirius comfortable enough with him to almost drop all formalities.

Dorea sighed as she watched them. She had been trying to prevent exactly this. Yet as she saw them laughing she couldn't help the smile that wormed itself onto her lips. She watched them play around as if they were not in public, as if Charlus himself was still nothing but a mere boy, not a man, not an adult and not the Head of the Auror department. She ignored the stares and the sneers from some of the higher class families. Instead she basked in the happiness of her three boys. The shrill whistle of the train interrupted their wrestling. Charlus released the two boys with one last ruffle through their hairs.

"I am going to miss you so, so much!" Dorea couldn't help but feel a little choked up as she pulled her boy in a tight hug.

"I am going to miss you too, mum" James whispered into her ear like it was a precious secret.

She tightened the hug, that strange feeling filling her once more. Something had happened to her boy. Something had changed him. He was so much more open and honest with his affection, as if he treasured every second in their presence. She hoped that whatever it had been, it had not hurt her boy. She had wanted to protect him for longer, but she feared that it was already too late.

"Take care of yourself! Try not to create too much trouble for Hogwarts" She kissed his forehead before reluctantly releasing him.

"Can't promise the latter!" He smirked at her with mischief written all over his face. She laughed.

"At least try to keep the detentions at a minimum!" She tried to plead with him. Sometimes her son was way too much like her husband. Charlus released Sirius from the tight hug he had dragged him into and turned towards his son. Dorea dragged the befuddled Sirius into another tight hug.

"If there is anything you need, ask. Write us, we will try to help. If you are ever in trouble, we will come" She whispered fiercely. Sirius clung tightly to her as he whispered a shaky "Thank you". She kissed his forehead as well before releasing him. He stared at her with dazed awe. She smiled softly at him gently brushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear. He grinned at her before following James onto the train. With another shrill whistle, the trains doors closed and it started moving.

James' and Sirius' heads popped out of a window not far from where they had gotten on. They waved like mad with broad grins on their faces. Charlus and Dorea waved back till the train disappeared in the distance.

oOo

Remus stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror of the train and no matter how he angled his head the stark white bandages on his face remained obvious. He would not be able to hide them. He didn't want to face his friends for they would undoubtedly ask questions and he hated lying to them. He was terrified of them finding out the truth. They were far too perspective. Especially James. He didn't know if he could convincingly lie to him. In actuality, he doubted it, but the longer he spend in this bathroom the more worried his friends would undoubtedly become, and that would lead to even more questions. He squared his shoulders and spared his reflection one last glance before stepping out of it.

He stopped in front of the compartment door. He could hear Sirius asking where he was. He felt warmed by the knowledge that they got worried for him, even if he hated the questions. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

"You're late!" Sirius exclaimed before he froze as he stared at Remus' face. Peter's face lost all colour. "What happened to you?!" Sirius asked with worry and fear in his eyes. Remus left cheek and neck were wrapped in thick bandages.

"Are you okay?!" Peter's voice had risen several octaves as he stared at the bandages with utter horror on his face. James had stood up and walked towards him when he had stepped inside. Now he reached out and his hand stopped a mere breath before he would have touched the bandages.

"Does it hurt?" He asked with an expression bordering on utter heartbreak. Remus stared wide eyed at his friends. He had known that they would worry he just hadn't realized how much. He opened and closed his mouth but no sound escaped. He cleared his throat before finally being able to answer his friends.

"I am all right and it no longer hurts, it's rather numb actually." Remus smiled softly at them hoping to lessen their worry at least somewhat. He sat down besides Sirius.

"And just how did you get injured?" Sirius asked with a growl underlining his voice, something wild and dangerous glinted in his eyes. Remus blinked, slightly befuddled with the sudden change of tone.

"I walked through a glass door at my grandfather's" Remus fiddled with the edge of his sweater hoping that they believed him. He glanced at James and nearly flinched at the dark knowing look in his eyes.

"I don't believe you" James said softly . Remus froze. No, Merlin, no please, no, he couldn't have found out. All colour left his face as he stared at James with fear filled eyes. Before Remus could well and truly start to freak out, James continued speaking.

"You are way too aware and too clever to walk through a glass door. So something must have upset you enough to walk through it." James kneeled down in front of him and rested his hand on his knee. Remus couldn't help the small tremble of relief. He didn't know.

"What managed to upset you so? Maybe we can help" Peter asked quietly.

"He is right. Talking about it might help." Sirius added as he shuffled closer to Remus' side.

"I-It was nothing important." Remus smiled shakily at Peter. He felt relief that his friends hadn't found out about his Lyantrophy. Still he felt uncomfortable that they had guessed correctly that something had upset him. The Full moon on new year's eve had been utterly disastrous. The wolf had clawed at its own neck in its agitation. He had woken up to the stark white walls of St. Mungo and the cold touches of the med wizards disgusted with what he was. His parents had been crying again. That had been by far the worst. The tears of his parents.

"Bullshit! It must have been important to you for you to walk through a glass door! " Sirius persisted as he moved even closer, so that their sides were pressed together and Remus could feel the heat Sirius was exuding.

"We're your friends you can tell us anything and everything." Peter said as he kneeled down besides James staring up at Remus with big eyes.

"We just want to help" James added as he gazed up at him through wild black bangs. Remus gave up. If he couldn't tell them his secret he could at least tell them this.

"I told you that I stayed at my grandfather's together with my parents. Well, grandfather and I don't get along at all." Remus said quietly. "Or rather, he hates me."

James' hand on his knee tightened as Sirius stiffened next to him.

"He and my parents got into an argument, like always. He called me monster, abomination, according to him I should never have been born." Remus whispered quietly. Three pairs of arms suddenly clutched him tightly.

"You are no Monster, no Abomination. You are Remy, our friend." Peter proclaimed boldly.

"How often does your grandfather see you? Once a year only I bet. He doesn't know that you love chocolate, that your advice is the best, that you can be such a big nagging mother hen, that you snuggle closer to whatever is available in your sleep, he doesn't know how much you hate pickled cucumbers, he doesn't know that you can plan awesome pranks, that you fiddle with your clothes when you're nervous or that you are one of the gentlest people I know. He doesn't know you!" Sirius words were heavy with sincerity.

"You will never be a monster. Your heart is too good for it to be the heart of a monster. We are so damn glad that you were born. Where would we be without you to keep us in line?" James asked with an amused quirk of his lips. "So Remy, Thank you that you were born, thank you for being our friend"

Remus felt the tears gather in his eyes. He let his head drop onto James' shoulder willing the tears to stay at bay. He didn't know how he had managed to deserve such friends. They loved him, it was obvious in their words. His first friends. He would never be able to let them go. He would fight so that he might remain by their side. He shuddered as he felt fingers soothingly run through his hair.

"Don't belief a single word your grandfather says. He is wrong, so wrong." James whispered into his ear and Remus wanted to so badly believe him but he couldn't not when he woke up covered in blood and wounds every new full moon. But in this moment while he was held in his friend's arms for the first time he felt like he might not be a monster born from nightmares.

"If you are ever that upset again promise us that you will write or talk to us. Please, we don't like to see you hurting." Peter said quietly as not to disturb the spell of peace that had settled over them like gentle fog.

"I solemnly swear" Remus said without hesitation. A sudden knock on the door broke the spell. They scrambled away from each other in surprise and Peter promptly fell over and landed on his ass with a loud thumb. He blinked up at them utterly startled. They couldn't quiet help but start laughing. Peter joined in with light hearted chuckles and Remus grinned at them all. They did not mention the slowly drying tear tracks on his face.

Sirius opened the compartment door to come face to face with the witch selling the sweets.

"Oy Jamsie, Money!" Sirius wiggled his finger in James general direction.

"You lost the race so you are going to pay!" Sirius grinned broadly at James' resigned sigh.

oOo

**A.N.: First of all I apologize for the long wait. Secondly I cannot promise a fast update because my exams are at the end of January and I've got to learn anatomy, neurology, embryology, histology, biomechanic and so much more. Gah attack of the exam work load. How I adore university ... not. **

**Anyways as I said before I am still going to continue ignoring the post of James parents although the names might appear at some point in the ff. Also I really couldn't think of a chapter title. This is probably the tenth or eleventh one me and my friend ( An awesome friend who gave me an awesome OPM ff as Christmas gift, thank you again) came up with and I am still not happy with it. So that might change again. **

**I had fun writing this chapter and I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews, follows and favourites are as always welcome. I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas, may all your wishes come true, may you spend the day among your loved ones and I hope that the day will become a treasured memory to hold dear. Lots of love and Christmas wishes from my tiny hometown in Germany. **


	17. Plans and Secrets

Chapter 17

Plans and Secrets

oOo

Sirius kept a close eye on Remus throughout dinner in the Great Hall. He seemed pretty well for someone that had apparently walked through a glass door. Seriously, as if he would believe that with all the tell-tale signs of Remus lying screaming at him. And, as far as he could tell, James hadn't believed it either. Sirius was terrified that Remus' home was as dark and bad as he was slowly expecting it to be. To call your own grandson a monster?! It didn't sit well with him at all. He worried about Remus and he couldn't help but feel the urge to protect him.

And he was not the only friend that was troubled his thoughts with worry. James might appear all jokes and happiness but there was something painful hidden beneath his joyful exterior. One that only became apparent in his sleep. Some of the things he had screamed and pleaded for caused a heavy feeling of dread to settle in his stomach. Ideas were starting to take solid form and he wasn't so sure that he liked what they meant.

He was glad that at least Peter didn't come with a big package of problems. He only had one freaking overprotective mother. Seriously, she didn't let him ride the Gringotts carts because she was afraid he would fall out of them!

Sirius had no illusions he himself had problems and issues with his family and all. They were an odd group of friends with issues like no other. Well, he wouldn't give them up for anything in the world.

"Sirius!" James hissed quietly. He stopped thinking about the amount of issues they had and turned towards his best friend. "Ready?" James asked with a smirk.

"Oh I have been ready since forever." Sirius answered with a broad grin.

"Why have I let myself be talked into this?" Remus asked a pained expression on his face.

"You can never win against those two." Peter patted Remus on the arm. Remus sent him a resigned look.

James pulled out four round globes that were shimmering in different colours. The whole bag they had hidden beneath the bench was filled with such globes.

"The first one to hit the Slytherin table wins." James proclaimed with a grin as he nudged Sirius.

"Oh ho, and just what would winning entail?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow and an interested expression.

"The winner wouldn't have to embarrass himself in front of the student body by walking around in underwear for one whole day." James smirked with an air of confidence as he threw the globe up and down.

"Count me and Peter out of that bet" Remus added quickly. Poor Remus had no idea what fun was.

"You're so on!" Sirius exclaimed confidently.

"You are so going to regret this" James snickered. They climbed on top of their benches each with a globe in hand. Without any kind of signal they threw the orbs in the direction of the Slytherin table and James couldn't quite suppress the triumphant shout of glee as his hit the Slytherin table first and exploded. Sirius' landed between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw table. Remus' globe landed somewhere between the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Peter just threw his onto the middle of the Gryffindor table.

"Ha! You lost Sirius!" James whooped with gleeful laughter. Sirius muttered and cursed under his breath.

"Potter! Black! Lupin and Pettigrew! Detention, all of you!" An enraged Professor McGonagall shouted as she stormed towards them. James just continued laughing and shared a smirk with Sirius.

Ah, it was good to be back in Hogwarts.

oOo

James pulled the quilt a little tighter around himself. His gaze never strayed from the fire burning in front of him. It was the only source of light in the otherwise dark common room. He couldn't sleep and this time it was not because of a nightmare. His mind was too busy running in circles. He couldn't get Remus' frightened expression out of his mind, nor could he banish the picture of stark white bandages against pale skin. He hated seeing his friend hurt. He was unable to help and it hurt so freaking much. He wanted to help, he just didn't know how. There had to be something he could do.

"Potter, what are you doing here?" A voice said from behind him. It startled him so badly that he nearly fell off the couch.

"Damn Evans, are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" James clutched a hand over his heart staring at Lily with wide eyes. She was standing there in light blue pyjamas with her arms crossed.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." She rolled with her eyes. It was always fascinating to see her as an eleven year old again. She was so tiny.

"Me dramatic?! Never!" James said with wide imploring eyes. Lily actually snorted and so James counted it as a success.

"And for what reason has the fair maiden descended down the stairs to the side of my most humble self?" James asked fully knowing that this would irk her.

"It is none of your business Potter!" Even though her words were cold she still sat down beside him. The flames tinged her in an ethereal glow. The fire danced in her eyes and not for the first time he realized just how beautiful she was even now as a tiny eleven year old. He sneaked more glances in her direction.

"Evans, there is still some blue glitter on your ear." The words slipped out without thinking about it. She shot a venomous glare in his direction.

"And just whose fault is that?" At her words James send her his most innocent smile. The orbs they had thrown might have been glitter bombs. Everyone had sparkled in the different house colours and James had to say it was an improvement in looks for some people. It had not only earned them a detention but they also lost a few house points. Dumbledore had watched the whole spectacle with great amusement.

"You just had to cause mayhem on the first day back." Lily's eyebrows were scrunched up with disapproval.

"Had to, after all mayhem might as well be my middle name!" he grinned cheekily at her and she let out a resigned sigh that reminded him a bit of his mother. She turned her gaze away from him and towards the fire. She was shivering ever so slightly. He removed the quilt.

"Here, Evans" Before she could protest he had thrown the warm quilt over her.

"But won't you be cold now?" She protested weakly.

"Nah, I will live. I should go back to bed anyways." James shrugged. Lily burrowed deeper in the quilt. Yet before he could get up Lily's hand on his arm stopped him.

"You still haven't answered my question." She asked.

"What question?"

"Don't play dumb with me Potter. I asked you what you are doing here", Lily looked at him with curiosity and a tinge of worry. She probably remembered the last time she had seen him late in the common room wracked with the after effects of his nightmare. He sighed. He had real trouble denying her anything.

"I couldn't sleep, had too much on my mind", James answered as his gaze strayed back to the flames. Remus' pale face appeared in his mind again. Lily hummed from besides him. Maybe she had an idea what to do.

"Let's say, purely hypothetical, that I have a friend with a big secret, that he cannot yet tell because it could ruin other secret stuff. Because of his secret, he knows his friend's secret. A secret which he shouldn't know because his friend hasn't said a thing about that secret, so he actually has to keep that secret a secret as well but that secret hurts his friend. Yet the sooner his other friends find out that friend's secret the less that secret hurts him but his mouth is tied shut by his secret, so that secret-" A hand over his mouth stopped him from rambling on. He looked at Lily with an indignant expression.

"Potter, too much secret. Try saying it in twenty words or less." Lily said with a slightly amused expression as she removed her hand from his mouth.

"Okay, I can try. So he knows his secret but cannot tell him or his friends, but his friends knowing about it would lessen the hurt his secret causes." James rushed out hoping that it would make sense to her.

"Those were more than twenty words" She said with amusement before she looked thoughtfully into the fire once more. "So, he cannot tell either that friend or the other friends outright, right?" Lily asked as she turned her gaze back towards him. James nodded.

"Could they find out about that secret given time?" Lily question as she tilted her head sideways in thought. James nodded.

"Yes, but it could take months" James added.

"Okay, so he could hint at it? Push them in the right direction?" Lily suggested. James stared at her wide eyed. He was an idiot.

"I'm an idiot." James groaned out loud. Lily just looked smug. "You are utterly brilliant Lily!" He jumped up. A plan was already forming in his mind but for that he had to wake Sirius up. This could actually work. He just had to nudge Sirius in the right direction. It should be easy because Sirius was already suspicious.

"Thank you" he said sincerely and Lily returned his smile with one of her own. As much as he wanted to run upstairs and wake Sirius up to put his newly formed plan into action something had kept Lily up as well. He sat back down and turned towards her.

"So now that your brilliance solved my friend's problem, I might return the favour." He hoped that she would not close off and snap at him. "After all I doubt you would be down here if you had been able to sleep."

Lily looked at him darkly but she didn't tell him to piss off. Instead she sighed.

"It was nothing important." She shrugged with her shoulders. She tried to sound nonchalant but failed miserably.

"That doesn't seem like nothing" He hoped that his soothing tone did not set her off. He knew how much she hated being treated like something easily breakable.

"Just an argument with my sister. I don't want to talk about it." Her posture had stiffened and her eyes had become guarded. James knew that he couldn't push more without her exploding and once her temper was ignited it would take a while to cool off again.

"Okay" She blinked at his easy acceptance. Normally people would pry so James did just the opposite. "If you ever want to talk about it, I am all ears." He smiled at her. She returned it with little hesitance.

"I should probably go to bed" James said, not that he would actually go to bed. He stood up and stretched letting loose a big yawn.

"Good night Evans and thank you again" He bowed towards her. As he walked up the staircase he heard her call a good night after him. As silently as possible, he sneaked back into their dorm room. After all, he only wanted to wake up Sirius and not Remus and Peter. With a quiet _lumos_, warm light sprouted from the tip of his wand. He sneaked past their beds and stopped at the foot of Sirius' bed. Silently, he pulled the curtains aside and climbed onto his friend's bed. The curtains fell shut behind him.

"Sirius!" James lightly shook his friend's shoulder as he leaned over him. Sirius just grumbled and burrowed deeper into hi pillow.

"Come on. Wakey, wakey. Sirius!" James shook his friend more insistently.

"Go 'way" Sirius muttered before turning around.

"Sirius Orion Black, get up!" James hissed. Sirius' eyes flew opened but before the yelp of surprise could leave his lips James had pressed his hand over his mouth. Sirius stared wide eyed at his friend's face that was a bit too close for comfort.

"Okay before you start ranting about the ungodly hour of the night, I need to discuss something with you in secret" James whispered. He only took his hand away when Sirius nodded. "And I don't want the other two to overhear, so get up!" James climbed out of Sirius' bed trying not to make a sound. Sirius slowly climbed out after him, he was clearly not yet fully awake. James grabbed Sirius' wrist and promptly dragged him off into the bathroom. He locked the door and for good measure put up a silencing charm when Sirius wasn't looking.

"Okay, now why, by Merlin's beard, did you drag me into the bathroom?" Sirius asked with a frown.

"Only place where we wouldn't be interrupted and Evans is in the common room." James explained.

"Oh and just how do you know that Evans is in the common room?" Sirius asked with a sly grin on his face.

"Because I spent the whole night down there till she interrupted me" James admitted and winced already knowing that the worried best friend would make an appearance.

"And just why were you down there and not in your bed asleep?" Sirius asked.

"Couldn't sleep. I had too much on my mind" James shrugged with his shoulders.

"It wasn't another nightmare?" Sirius asked bluntly. Sugar coating things had never been Sirius' style.

"No, I didn't have one of my nightmares." James reassured trying to ease the worry he could see in his friend's eyes. "I couldn't sleep because my thoughts kept going back to Remus"

"He lied, didn't he?" Sirius growled darkly.

"About the glass door, definitely. He told us the truth about what upset him though." James conceded with a small sigh.

"I noticed" Sirius added with a dark expression and James could pretty much guess into which dark corner his best friends mind had wandered.

"Something bad is going on with Remus." James admitted with a worried frown. Sirius' expression grew dark and pained.

"Do you think they hurt him?" Sirius asked with an unusually raw and painful grimace. James blinked startled. He wanted to shout, No, that Ms. and Mr. Lupin would never ever hurt Remus, but he couldn't do so without having to explain why he was so sure of that. He didn't have any evidence that did not speak against them. He could understand why Sirius thought so after all he had thought along the same lines once before. He reached out and squeezed Sirius' shoulder.

"No, I don't think so but something is definitely going on." James tried to reassure his friend.

"His own grandfather called him monster. I think it is possible if not them then him." Sirius said darkly. "You saw how frightened he was when you told him you didn't believe him. He was terrified"

"I know, I saw it as well. I won't condemn someone until I am sure of my accusations." James said calmly. He would not stand for anyone to be judged without evidence. Not when the same thing had condemned his best friend to Azkaban. "But we need to find out what is going on first."

"He is apparently terrified of us finding out the truth."

"I think he is afraid that we would hate him." James said quietly hoping that revealing this was not giving out too much of Remus' secret. He had sworn an oath to never tell someone without his permission. They all had sworn that oath, or rather, will swear that oath.

"As if we could ever hate him." Sirius said with sad smile. They could never hate their bookworm, their Remus.

"So if he is afraid to tell us, we will just have to find out what it is" James added with a small grin. Sirius was on the right track. Last time it had taken them a lot longer to get truly suspicious of all the wounds Remus hid from them.

"Okay, spying on Remy officially approved" Sirius said around a huge yawn. "Should I tell Peter?"

James froze. Damn, he had unconsciously excluded Peter again. He didn't know what to do about him, to be truthful. A part of him always saw the traitor in him no matter what. He needed to get over it and to exclude him from this could backfire in the sense that he didn't feel appreciated by his friends. Sirius looked at him with a raised eyebrow. His gaze looked like it could see straight through him.

"Sure, I can tell him tomorrow morning" James said with a shrug hoping that Sirius hadn't noticed anything odd about his behaviour.

"Why didn't you drag him out of bed as well? Or rather, why just me?" Sirius complained playfully but his eyes stayed eerie sharp.

"To tell the truth, I utterly forgot and you are my best friend, so" James shrugged. Sirius grinned at him.

"So now that we've cleared this very important thing, my bed is calling" Sirius said around another yawn. He turned around and unlocked the door. "You should also try to sleep, Jamsie" Sirius said over his shoulder. James knew that Sirius was well aware of his horrible and pretty much none existing sleeping pattern. James nodded and followed his friend out of the bathroom.

"Good night, James" Sirius managed to mutter before he snuggled back into his bed and promptly fell asleep. James put his glasses on the nightstand and crawled into bed as well.

He had to be careful. He couldn't risk alienating Peter. He had to try and act normally with him, which was far easier said than done. James sighed and turned around. There had to be away to shut his brain up. He couldn't stop thinking. It was driving him bonkers. He wanted to sleep, for once he truly did. He was bloody tired. And his bloody brain just wouldn't stop thinking about his problems.

Maybe counting hippogriffs would help. James barely managed to reach number twenty before he was already out like a light.

oOo

Remus sighed and not for the first time felt like banging his head on a wall but he doubted that Madame Pince would like the disturbance it would cause in her library. He was being watched again. Sometimes he really wondered why he called those boys his friends. Sirius, James and Peter had started following him everywhere. They were practically stalking him and they were being bloody obvious about is as well. He didn't whether he should be annoyed or amused.

Peter was horribly clumsy when it came to following him. He always managed to see something of Peter peeking out of his hiding place. Sirius was a lot harder to spot, and though he had yet to spot James, he just knew he was helping the other two. Currently the three of them were scattered between the aisles pretending to read the books with which they were hiding their faces.

He had already cornered them and pressed for answers only to be deflected with discussions about the weather or to be met with confused stares. He had thought Peter would be the easiest to get to crack but surprisingly he held his ground and if he came close to revealing something he literally ran away. He walked up to James and leaned against the shelve. James ignored him continuing to read the book. He cleared his throat. James finally looked up.

"Remy, just what are you doing here?! I haven't seen you in such a long time!" James gushed. Remus rolled his eyes. He could hear Peter snort two aisles over.

"Just how long are you planning on stalking me?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just what are you implying?! I have no idea what you're talking about!" James exclaimed as he dramatically widened his eyes.

"Stop playing dumb" Remus rolled with his eyes.

"Psst! He found out Sirius!" James stage whispered. Sirius peeked around the corner from the aisles behind James.

"I told you we should have opted for the potted plant disguise!" Sirius insisted.

"Potted plant disguise?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That damned potted plant disguise is even more obvious than hiding behind books!" James protested.

"No it is not!"

"Yes it is. You could have just as well pulled a lamp shade over your head and pretend to be a lamp!" James threw his hand up dramatically to emphasise his point.

"Why the bloody hell aren't we just using your cloak?!" Sirius protested and from his voice Remus could guess that this argument was not the first of its kind.

"Because we won't always have the luxury of an invisibility cloak" James insisted. Remus glanced to his side where Peter had suddenly appeared.

"So now that he found us, we can finally go eat dinner?" Peter asked in a hopeful voice that was underlined by a grumble of his stomach. Sirius and James ignored him still arguing about appropriate disguises. The noisy clearing of a throat interrupted their argument and all four boys fell silent. Slowly they turned around to come face to face with Madame Pince, who was standing behind them with a dark scowl.

oOo

**A.N.: Well, surprise? I suppose this is a bit of an early Christmas gift. I didn't think I would manage to write another chapter this quickly before I went into the exam frenzy but when the muse hits you it hits hard. Thank you for the good lucks for my exams I will try my best. **

**This chapter is the problem child of the Atl family simply because it got a mind of its own and about halfway it turned into something which was only supposed to happen in second year not first so I had to erase half of the chapter an****d**** restart. I will use the erased part later on in the story. Seriously this chapter is stubborn. **

**I still hoped you enjoyed it and for a second time merry Christmas ^-^ **


	18. The Forbidden Forest

Chapter 18

The Forbidden Forest

oOo

"That was a damn close call!" Peter said between the giggles he couldn't quite control as they fell through the portrait hole into the common room.

"Filch nearly had us there! Still, I would say the operation was a success!", Sirius laughed as he high-fived a madly cackling James.

"I cannot wait to see their faces tomorrow!" Peter said between his laughter. Remus was giggling helplessly.

"Merlin, my stomach hurts" He managed to say between his laughter.

"I have never before looked forward to our lessons this much," James said, in a confession like tone. Still laughing and giggling they somehow managed to stumble up the stairs towards their room. They fell on top of a pile of pillows and blankets they had purposefully left on the floor, still high on the success of their prank. Tomorrow they would find out whether or not the rest of the school found it as amusing as they did.

It had taken them two bloody weeks of research to pull it off. Two weeks of research in the library, it must be said. Sirius would be very happy if they never had to set foot in the library again but he guessed that wish would never come true. There would probably be research that needed to be done in the library, either for school or for new pranks. It didn't help that Madame Pince had started to watch them like a hawk since he and James had gotten in argument about disguises. They hadn't even done anything there yet! That woman was nearly as bad as Filch.

"So what are we going to do next?" Peter asked as made himself comfortable on one of the pillows. He had an eager grin on his face. He had long stopped stuttering around them and seemed to be utterly comfortable with them by now. Peter was slowly coming out of his shell with a lot of encouragement on their part, even though at times James seemed weary about him. Sirius didn't know why but there was no doubt in his mind that he would be able to somehow figure it out.

"No idea", Sirius answered Peter's question with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Maybe something less likely to land us in another week of detention?" Remus suggested with a raised eyebrow. James and Sirius shared a look.

"Nahh", They answered at the same time, laughing loudly after.

"That would be way to boring", Sirius added as he lounged on top of one of the larger cushions. Remus truly lacked a sense of adventure.

"At least I tried." Remus muttered.

"I think I've got an idea," James said with a thoughtful expression on his face. "We could go explore the forbidden forest!"

Sirius immediately perked up at the idea. Exploring a forest that was literally forbidden could only be fun. Remus dropped his head into his hands and Peter just stared at James blankly.

"Eh, don't you think you might have forgotten something?" Peter asked before adding: "Like all the dangerous creatures living in that forest?"

"Aww come on, Pete. Don't be such a scaredy cat." Sirius grinned at him as he threw his arm over Peter's shoulder. Something akin to a pout appeared on his face.

"I don't think that is such a good idea" Remus said quietly thinking about the rumors of feral animals roaming the forest.

"Aww, stop worrying so much Remy. There is nothing to worry about." James said as he ruffled through Remus' hair. With a glowering look Remus slapped his hand away.

"Okay it is decided-" James ignored Remus' snort and continued on. "-that our new project is the exploration of the forbidden forest!" He rubbed his hands together and let out a mad cackle. Sirius joined in with his own bark like laughter and Peter shared a resigned look with Remus.

"Okay, if we are going to do this, we need to plan it out, because I definitely do not want to get lost in that forest in the middle of the night." Remus said as he pulled out parchment, an ink bottle and his quill.

"We need to mark the trees somehow so that we can find our way out in the dark." James added thoughtfully. The carvings they had done last time were difficult to spot in the dark, and that had led them to a few nights of terror that James'd rather not have to go through again.

"Carvings would be a good idea", Sirius said.

"But won't it be hard to see those during the dark?" Peter added as he squinted at Remus tiny handwriting that was slowly filling the parchment.

"Good thinking Peter. So something we can see in the dark", James said as he frowned thoughtfully. He had pulled out the snitch Sirius had given him and started playing around with it.

"Maybe glowing paint?" Remus said as he tapped the quill against his lips in thought. If he ended up with ink on his face again Sirius most definitely wouldn't inform him about it.

"That is brilliant!" James exclaimed.

"We just have to make sure it cannot be washed away", Sirius added.

"I will find something in the library." Remus waved that concern away and added another bullet point on his parchment.

"Dad can probably send me the paint if he can sneak it past mum", James said as he released and caught the snitch. He knew the spell for that, but it was far too advanced for first years, so he'd prefer to have some store bought paint instead.

"Okay, it would also help if we all knew some self defense spells. In case of an emergency." Remus added the last bit as he saw Peter's wide eyed expression.

"Our knockback jinxes and our lumos are perfect, I doubt we need to relearn those", Sirius added. Peter bit back a groan. He had done the Knockback jinx over and over again.

"Most of the spells that we are learning in defence this year are pretty useless", Remus added thoughtfully. "The smoke-screen spell might be useful but the sparks are only obvious signals. Maybe I can check some of the second year spells."

"The Full-body binder could be pretty useful", James said with a thoughtful look on his face. Remus immediately made a note on his parchment.

"Anything else?" Remus asked as he looked up from his list.

"Well, when are we going to do it?" Peter asked as he rolled over onto his stomach to get a better look at his friends.

"We would have the most light during the full moon", Sirius lamented as he glanced out the window at the dark night sky. With a splat the quill fell onto the floor, spreading ink everywhere.

"NO!" Remus' sudden shout startled them all. Sirius' head snapped towards him, Peter looked like a startled mouse and James lost his grip on the Snitch so that it fluttered away. James blinked slowly, carefully masking his own expression. Remus grabbed Sirius' arm with desperation. His grip was bordering on to tight.

"Promise me, promise me that none of you will ever set foot into the forbidden forest during a full moon!" His voice was drenched in fear and desperation. His amber eyes stared at Sirius pleadingly.

"Why?" Sirius asked boldly. The apprehension and fear Remus was showing was in one word suspicious. Maybe he would get some answers tonight. Their stalking hadn't given them any answers. Remus stared at Sirius blankly before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again he didn't dare look at any of his friends.

"Full moons are dangerous", Remus managed to whisper as he pulled his knees closer to his body. Sirius and Peter shared a confused look. James simply stared at Remus with an open and calm expression.

"Why are they dangerous?" Peter asked gently, hoping that he was not overstepping. He remembered James' apparent hatred for full moons. He had said they brought only pain and suffering.

Remus took a deep breath as if stealing himself before he answered: "Werewolves". The word might as well have been nothing more than a whisper. Remus resolutely stared at his feet which made James move closer to him as if he wanted to give his friend some kind of comfort. Sirius didn't quite understand why Remus seemed so apprehensive. A pointed look from James made him keep his mouth shut though.

"We promise not to set foot into the forest during the full moon," Peter said quietly and Sirius could barely hear James mutter: "As humans."

At Peter's words Remus finally looked up. His amber eyes were guarded and his whole posture screamed weary and uncomfortable. He looked ready to bolt at any given moment.

"We solemnly swear", James added with a serious expression.

"We won't enter the forbidden forest during the fool moon. So stop worrying", Sirius said as he leaned over. He ruffled through Remus' hair. Remus slowly relaxed again.

"So when are we going to do it?", James asked in an obvious effort to ease the tension, which caused Remus to send him a grateful look.

"We all know that this weekend is out not only because of the full moon", Sirius added. Peter looked at him in obvious confusion.

"Why not?", Peter asked. He regretted the question a few minutes later.

"Peter! How could you not know?!" Sirius exclaimed with wide eyes. His expression though had nothing on James' utterly horrified one. James turned towards Sirius as if in slow motion.

"S-Sirius how can he not know?!" James looked as if he could faint at any given moment from the sheer absurdity of Peter not knowing what he and Sirius were talking about. Remus and Peter shared a confused look.

"Remy! At least you must know what is going to happen this Saturday!" Sirius turned towards Remus with pleading eyes. James added his own wide eyed stare to Sirius'. Remus sent a helpless look towards Peter.

"Ehh, I have no idea?" Remus admitted with a small wince. James let out a sound of tremendous pain.

"How can you not know?! Sirius, my poor heart cannot stand this!" James clutched a hand over his heart. The horrified expression was still on his face.

"I feel with thee!" Sirius said with utter conviction. He stared with disbelief at both Remus and Peter.

"It is Quidditch! How can you forget that?! The all important game Gryffindor vs. Slytherin is this Saturday!" James threw his hands into the air dramatically, utter, horrified disbelief colouring his voice. As soon as the words Quidditch left his mouth, Remus just rolled his eyes. Peter let out a sigh of relief. He had thought that he might have actually forgotten something really important.

"It's just Quidditch", Remus said without thought.

"Just Quidditch?!" James shouted. "Just Quidditch?! JUST! There is no 'just'! Almost nothing is as important as Quidditch!" Peter slowly inched away from James. He was slightly disturbed by the manic look in his eyes.

"They just cannot appreciate it!" Sirius shook his head in disappointment. Remus was watching his two friends and not for the first time wondered if the two of them still had all their marbles.

"It is just a sport," Remus tried again ignoring the frantic shaking of Peter's head. Peter had an alarmed look on his face. He knew that Remus shouldn't have said that.

"Just a sport?!" James wailed as he fell dramatically into Sirius' arms all the while muttering about blasphemy and blind fools. Sirius patted his back reassuringly. Reus decided that James was not sane no matter how much he appeared to be. Especially after the two hour long lecture about the importance of Quidditch James had held afterwards.

oOo

In the end they decided to explore the forbidden forest Saturday three weeks after the Quidditch game. Slytherin won by the way, James and Sirius had been in a horrible mood for the rest of the week and the following one. If there had been an increase in pranks on the Slytherins no one mentioned it though. Well, expect Lily after Severus had once again been caught in the pranks wrecking havoc in the Slytherin house. It had been the fifth time within three days. None of them were endangering or life threatening though. Her shouting was quite impressive.

Currently the four of them were sneaking past Hagrid's Hut hidden beneath the invisibility cloak. For once all of them were silent. James threw the cloak off as soon as they were no longer able to see the hut. He folded the cloak and put it into his bag while Remus unscrewed the lid of the glow in the dark paint. Peter was holding his wand over Remus so that he could see something. Sirius was on the lookout assessing the darkness of the forest around them. Remus drew a symbol on the tree, while Sirius watched him out of the corner of his eye. He had disappeared at the end of the last month, only to reappear with fresh bandages hidden beneath his clothes. The wounds on his cheeks and neck had become scars by now, but they stood in stark contrast to his skin under the glowing light of Peter's wand. He had disappeared on Sunday right after dinner. He had already looked sickly and he had barely eaten anything before Prof. McGonagall had called him away. There was some connection he had overlooked. There was one of that he was sure. With one last swirl of the brush, Remus finished the glowing symbol. It was emitting a bright green glow in the otherwise dark forest.

"Okay, so now what?" Peter asked as he wearily peeked into the darkness around them. He had a tight grip on his wand. If anything were to surprise him he would knock jinx it back from wherever the hell it came from. Even though he was the most apprehensive about the whole thing, he was surprisingly calm.

"Now I say we go that way!" James said as he pointed in a random direction. The exact opposite direction of a certain spider colony.

James lead them with his wand raised in front of him, while the other three just followed. The tiny lights of their wands made the shadows of the forest seem so much larger. Peter couldn't suppress the flinch when the call of a wild owl startled him. Since it was only nearing the end of February it was still pretty cold and all of them were wearing thick coats and scarves.

"Why did we decide that it would be a good idea to do this during this time of the year?" Sirius asked with a grumble. James snickered and Peter shrugged. Remus just rolled his eyes at Sirius' complaining. At least the mostly leafless trees let through more light even though the stars were not very helpful. Remus refused to look at the moon. He marked another tree with one more glowing symbol and an arrow into the direction from which they had come.

So it continued on for a while as they made their way through the underwood, a few stars and their wand tips the only sources of light. They climbed over tree roots nearly as tall as themselves, they passed little streams reflecting the star light and helped each other over boulders blocking their path. The longer they were in the forest the more comfortable they became. The tension slowly bled out of them and even Peter lost the tight grip on his wand when nothing suddenly jumped them.

They stumbled upon a clearing where half the trees were burnt down or covered in sot and ash. An old tree stood in the middle half of it was burned away. Apparently lightning had hit the clearing during last week's storm. Remus drew another symbol on the large boulder in the middle of the clearing. They were about to continue on when a drop of water landed on Peter's nose. Before they could so much as blink it started pouring down on them in earnest. With startled yelps and curses they sought shelter beneath a tall pine tree at the edge of the clearing.

"Great, now we are cold and wet", Peter said as he brushed his wet hair out of his face.

"The daily prophet couldn't have been more wrong. 'A dry and cool night' my ass", Sirius grumbled underneath his breath. James just shrugged.

"That is anything but dry", Remus said as he watched it pour. At least they were relatively dry beneath their shelter.

"Let's hope it stops raining soon", James said as he leaned against the trunk of the tree.

"We shouldn't have done this in February", Sirius grumbled again.

"Oh stop complaining. A little rain is not going to kill you", James said with an eye roll.

"If I end up sick, it is all your fault!" Sirius said with an annoyed huff. He crossed his arms and mock glared at James.

"No worries Sirius. If that turns out to be the case I will play nurse", James said with a grin as he patted Sirius arm.

"In costume and all?" Sirius asked with a sly smirk. Apparently his dirty sense of humor was already there when he was eleven, which was kind worrisome but James couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. Peter looked mildly horrified and Remus went beet red and started sputtering.

"Guys, look the rain is slowing down!" Peter pointed out with a desperate edge. This turn in conversation was not his cup of tea. And it was not even a lie the rain had really all but stopped.

"Last one back at Hagrid's hut has to wear the Slytherin uniform for a week!" James exclaimed before he took of into the dark forest.

"Oy, that's cheating!" Sirius shouted as he ran after James. Peter could make out a shout of "Payback". Remus laughed lightly before running after the two. Peter let out a resigned sigh. He hated running but he also didn't want to end up in Syltherin robes so he ran after them as well.

Suddenly a startled yelp could be heard. It sounded suspiciously like James. Fearing that something bad might have happened, Peter took off towards the noise. He stumbled upon the scene of a madly laughing Remus clutching his stomach and two mud covered beings laying in a very large mud puddle. Sirius and James were blinking at each other stupidly as they lay in the puddle utterly covered in mud. Even James' glasses were smeared with mud. Sirius' hair was an utter mess of twigs and mud. He would start whining about it as soon as he realized the extent of the mess. Peter snorted not quite able to stop it at the comical sight. Soon he was laughing just as hard as Remus was. His laughter though was interrupted when something slimy and wet his him on the shoulder.

"Ho, so you find this funny?" James asked with a mad grin as he grabbed some more mud in his hand. Remus had also been hit with mud courtesy to Sirius. Peter let out a squeak but managed to avoid the second mud ball somehow. Remus was not so lucky and ended up with mud smeared all over his front. Sirius was running after Remus with two hands full of mud cackling madly. Peter turned back towards James and saw him descend towards him with two hands full of mud as well. With another high sound Peter started running away from the ever closer coming James and his damn mud. This was not how he had envisioned the night.

Peter would have managed to make a brilliant escape had he not stumbled over a small tree root and landed face first in a smaller puddle of mud.

"You all right there Pete?" James asked with a worried undertone as he let his clumps of mud fall onto the ground. He helped Peter back onto his feet.

"Well I doubt that I need to cover you in any more mud", James said with a snicker and Peter glared at him. He grabbed a small fistful of the mud and threw it at James hitting him square on the chest. James looked at him utterly scandalized.

"Oh, you are so on!" James said with a smirk before he launched more mud in Peter's direction. That he could even see enough through his mud covered glasses to correctly take aim surprised Peter. Suddenly a harried looking Sirius burst out of the bushes.

"Hide me!" He exclaimed before he hid behind James. After him an enraged looking Remus appeared all covered in mud. His hair was standing in every direction thank to the mud Sirius had smeared into his hair.

"Siriiiiiiiusssssss!" Remus growled as he raised his arm to aim. James looked wide eyed at Remus. His arms were raised in surrender as Sirius cowered behind him. Peter let out a sound of fright. The mud battle was decided with Remus as the clear winner.

Somehow they managed to sneak back into Gryffindor tower while leaving a trail of mud all over the Hogwarts corridors. Filch would curse loudly tomorrow.

"Yuk!" Sirius made a sound of disgusts as he pulled his mud covered trousers off.

"Let's never do something like that again," Peter pleaded as he pulled his dirty sweater off. He felt truly disgusting.

"I for one have no plans to repeat that!" James said as he fought with his stubborn socks. Even those were covered in dirt and mud.

"Never again!" Remus agreed as he pulled his shirt off. He only realized his mistake when all of his three friends froze. He had been so comfortable that he had forgotten his scars. His friends stared horrified at them.

"Remy?" Peter asked fearfully. He had lost all colour as he stared at the scars littering his friends chest. James' expression was sorrowful, as if he hoped that hadn't happened, and Sirius looked murderous.

"Remus, where did you get those scars?" Sirius asked with a growl.

oOo

**A.N.: Merry Christmas and Surprise! Here is the actual christmas present! Bet you guys didn't expect that! Planning ahead made writing a hella lot faster and no worries i was still learning for exams while writing this. As if I could ever forget my damn exams.**

**This chapter was fun to write and by no means gave me as much trouble as the one before. Though I couldn't resist the cliffhanger at the end. Sorry for that ^^'**

**So I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for all the lovely reviews. I wish you all a happy christmas day :)**


	19. Fear and Confrontations

Chapter 19

Fears and Confrontations

oOo

"Remus, where did you get these scars?" Sirius asked with a growl.

Remus flinched and took a step back from them as if he was afraid of them. It broke James' heart to see the expression of fear on his face.

"We will never hurt you," James promised as he took a step forward, his hand outstretched, only for his friend to shy away from his presence. Sirius' hands were balled into fists.

"Who hurt you?" Sirius managed to get out between clenched teeth. Remus looked at him wide eyed. There was no disgust in his friends' faces, they weren't disgusted with his scars. James looked sad and heartbroken as his eyes trailed over his numerous scars. Peter had tears in his eyes as if the fact that Remus had been hurt was now hurting him. Sirius was a swirling mass of anger and protectiveness. His gaze was fierce as if he could set fire to those that had hurt his friend. They weren't disgusted with him.

"Nobody hurt me." Remus managed to answer eventually. His fingers grazed over the large bite scar at his side. James' eyes narrowed as he followed the movement. Remus remembered the scent of his own blood as large teeth tore into his flesh and hungry eyes watched him bleed. His parents had managed to save him in time. Had they not, he would have bled out under the light of the full moon.

"Stop protecting them!" Sirius snarled like an angry canine. Remus was pulled out of his memories and blinked at him in confusion.

"Sirius!" James hissed in quiet warning. He sent a dark look in James' direction.

"I am not protecting anybody," Remus said softly. He was only protecting himself.

"Don't lie to me!" Sirius thundered but whatever else he had wanted to say got stuck in his throat at Remus' violent flinch. He seemed to try and curl into himself. He was trying to make himself seem as small as possible.

"Sirius, stop it!" James said as he jabbed his side with his elbow. Sirius subsided and took a deep breath in order to calm down.

"Remy, we are not trying to hurt you. We are simply worried." James said as he tried to defuse the situation. Remus stared at him. He knew they didn't want to hurt him... yet. Experience had taught him that no one cared for him after they had found it all out, often even at only seeing his scars. His parents were the only ones that loved and wanted to protect him still.

"S-Something hurt you. We want to help. It is burdening you," Peter said softly as he made eye contact with Remus. Remus broke the eye contact almost immediately as he retreated another step backwards. They couldn't find out. If they did, he would lose them. He couldn't bear that. He couldn't imagine not having them at his side. He didn't want to lose James with all his plans, his steady presence and haunted dreams, didn't want to lose Sirius with his laughter, wildness and troubling family. Nor did he want to lose Peter with all his patience, kindness and his slowly evaporating insecurities.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you but I hate the idea of anybody hurting you." Sirius said there was still a dark ferocious growl underlining his words.

"I know but no one has hurt me," Remus repeated again. Since that night no one had truly hurt him physically. Shoves, sneers and hurting words were all the people dared to do to him.

"Bullshit, someone had to give you these scars!" Sirius protested and Remus felt as if he was slowly being backed into a corner. They couldn't find out. Please, not them. He didn't want them to hate him. He wrapped his arms around himself as if he were trying to hide his scars and at the same time comfort himself. His fingers bit painfully into his sides, his nails biting into the larger bite scar.

"You cannot have given yourself such wounds," Peter added with a worried frown. James hid his wince. Remus, though, flinched and took two steps backwards. All colour left his already pale face making him seem as white as a sheet. Sirius took a sharp breath, horrifying realization dawning in his eyes.

"Remy" Sirius whispered as he clenched his hands into fist. It took courage to say the next words. "Remus, did you give yourself these scars?" Sirius asked with an expression of pain on his face. James screwed his eyes shut and Peter let out a small gasp of horror. Remus turned his eyes away from his friends. Fear could still be read in every taunt line of his body.

"I-" Remus stopped and swallowed. "N-No. I did not" The words tumbled haltingly out of Remus' mouth as he trembled ever so slightly. James kept his eyes closed for a moment trying to calm his roaring blood back down. He was fighting against his instincts of protecting Remus. This confrontation was needed in a way, even though he hated the effect it was having on his friend.

"Liar" The word left Sirius mouth in the barest of breaths. A tremble passed through Remus' whole body. Peter had become paler and his hand was shaking.

"No, no, no. Please tell me that isn't true!" Peter pleaded as he stared at Remus. Horror was painted all over his features.

Remus had started to shake, his trembles evolving into shudders that shook his whole body.

"Tell me you didn't give yourself these scars." The plea was ripped from Sirius before he could stop it. He didn't want that to be true. To think Remus himself had ripped into his own flesh deep enough to leave these large ragged scars hurt.

Remus looked from one friend to the next. It was too much. He needed to get away.

"Please, Remy" James didn't know whether he was asking Remus to deny it or justtell them the truth already. James' soft plea seemed to be the final straw. Remus whirled around and ran.

"Remus!" James called startled. Remus pulled open the bathroom door and disappeared inside. Before any of them could react, the sound of lock sliding into place filled the sudden silence.

"Remy, come out please," James knocked on the door but no matter how much he and Peter asked the door remained locked and the person inside stubbornly silent. This hadn't happened before.

"We can simply unlock the door" Sirius said as his fingers tightly enclosed his wand.

"No! Remus needs some space. We pushed too far" James whispered. He stopped Sirius from making the wand movement by grapping his wrist.

"But we can't just leave him in there all alone!" Sirius hissed back. Guilt was shining in his eyes. He hadn't wanted this. He had only wanted the truth. He hadn't wanted Remus so afraid of them that he had to get away.

"We cannot force him." Peter piped up. He was visibly shaken by what had been revealed. Remus hurting himself enough to earn all these scars... he didn't want to think about it.

"He has to come out on his own." James said as he forlornly stared at the closed door. He took a step towards it.

"Remy, I know you can hear us. Whatever it is, we could never hate you. Never." He rested his forehead against the cool wood. He sighed when he heard nothing from the other side. With one last look at the closed door he left their room in order to take a shower in the communal bathroom. His hair was still full with mud after all.

"I'm sorry. I wish nothing had hurt you." Peter said loud enough to be heard through the door. He brushed past Sirius on his way out. Maybe the shower would help clear his mind from all there troubling thoughts. Sirius stepped forward and leaned against the door.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed so hard." Sirius said ruefully. "I just hate seeing you hurt. I hate seeing any of us hurt." Sirius took a deep breath before uttering the next words.

"You know that you are one of my first friends? James was the first. I don't know what I'm doing. I've never had friends before." It was easier than he had thought to admit that out loud.

"I am still learning what it means to have friends. I know now that I shouldn't have pushed and I'm sorry. Please don't be too mad and please don't stop being my friend." The last few words were nothing more than a whisper, his insecurities laid bare. Still no sound could be heard from the other side of the door. With a heavy heart, Sirius left as well.

When they returned, the bathroom door was still locked and it remained locked even when they went to bed. The revelations were like heavy lead in their stomachs and after much turning Peter suggested sleeping together on the floor. It offered some comfort but still none of them slept truly well.

oOo

The next morning there was no sign of Remus. The bed was neatly made and the bathroom was empty. Since today was a Sunday, they had no classes. Remus didn't show up for breakfast, according to Alice. The boys had completely slept through breakfast. He also didn't show up for lunch. They had given him space but now James was starting to get worried.

"That's enough space now I would say." Sirius proclaimed. James had to agree. If they left Remus alone for much longer he would start coming up with ridiculous ideas of how they hated him and he was a monster.

"Are you sure?" Peter asked. He didn't want to agitate Remus any more than they already had.

"If we leave him alone for much longer he is going to brood," James said as he tried to reassure Peter.

"We just have to find him somehow." Peter mused out aloud.

"We should split up, covering more ground might help." James suggested while his mind already went over all the possible places for Remus to hide.

"I will take the library. I have a theory regarding Remus and I, as much as it pains me to say this, need to do a bit of research." Sirius made an expression of disgust as he nearly spit out the word research.

"Careful that Remus doesn't find out about it," James warned.

"I will take the ground floor, kitchen and the courtyard," Peter said.

"Don't forget the greenhouse and Hagrid," James added.

"I will take the astronomy tower and the second and third floor as well" Sirius said.

"Meaning I will look through the first floor, the great hall and everywhere else" James concluded.

"Don't forget the dungeons. Though I doubt that Remus is down there" Peter amended with a shrug of his shoulders. James nodded.

"We will meet in front of the great hall in about two hours," James summarized. In two hours dinner would be served and maybe Remus would finally show his face by then. With those words they fanned out all over the castle.

James opened every door and looked into each room in search for Remus. He didn't leave a single broom cupboard unopened. He wasn't in any room on the first floor. The Great Hall was empty expect for peeves cackling madly while floating around an enraged Filch. James was growing increasingly frustrated and worried. It was unlike Remus to simply disappear. He nearly ran over Dorothy Harper when he rounded around a corner. The poor girl had been beet red when she had collided with him. He hoped she didn't have a fever of some kind. He apologized quickly before continuing his search. The only place he hadn't looked yet were the dungeons. He doubted that Remus was down there but maybe he was there simply because they didn't expect him to be there.

James descended down the stairs towards the Potions classroom. Down there James always felt a tiny bit less cheery. The place was a bit depressing. Just a bit. It might be time to colour it a little. He would have to discuss that first with the others though.

James opened doors, disturbed a few studying Slytherins and peeked into empty classrooms. There was no sign of Remus anywhere. He wished they had already invented the map. Remus had to be somewhere. He couldn't have simply disappeared. Wait, disappeared. By Merlin's pointy hat, he was truly an idiot! His cloak! He had given all his friends free access to his cloak. If Remus was hidden beneath it, it was no wonder he couldn't find him. He let out a groan of frustration at his own blindness. He whirled around. In his hurry, he wasn't watching where he was going and collided with somebody.

"Watch it, Potter!" Snape hissed "The school still doesn't belong to you"

"Afternoon Snape," James drawled suppressing the annoyed eye roll that wanted to break free. He really didn't want to deal with him at the moment especially when he was in the company of Mulciber.

"Potter, where did you leave your friends?" Mulciber leered and James couldn't resist the jab at the horrible breath coming out Mulciber's mouth.

"Really, Mulciber, ever heard of something called a toothbrush?" James said nasally as he held his nose closed and tried to wave away the stench. He could almost see the veins of anger protruding out of his forehead.

"You still need to earn payback for your damn pranks," Mulciber said while he drew his wand and tried to loom over James. He was almost a head taller than James.

"Is that supposed to be intimidating?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. "Because if it is supposed to be intimidating, you are failing horribly." James continued in a dry voice. Really now, he had fought in a bloody war, he ran with a werewolf nearly every full moon and he had faced Voldemort head-on three times. An eleven year old Mulciber could never intimidate him. To be truthful, to James he just looked hilarious.

"Potter, your arrogance knows no bounds," Snape sneered. Right, James had forgotten that any kind of confidence would immediately become arrogance in Snape's eyes. Well, it was no wonder he always rubbed Snape the wrong way.

"Arrogant? Come on, look at him!" James gestured wildly towards Mulciber. "There is nothing intimidating about him!" James persisted. Mulciber might have more muscle mass than him on his bones but still he could blast him unconscious with a single well timed spell.

"Careful, Potter! After all your friends cannot save you now!" Mulciber growled. He was clearly angered by James flippant comments.

"Can you finish this a bit faster? I have places to be and people to find." James drawled in a bored voice as he crossed his arms. Snape's glare got darker and oh, even he had now drawn his wand. Mulciber just snapped and fired a spell in James direction. A cutting spell that a first year had no business knowing yet. James evaded it easily. He simply stepped out of the way of the spell.

"Oops! Missed me!" James exclaimed and before his opponent could fire another spell James had pulled out his wand that had been hidden in his sleeve.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" The simple incarnation came as easy as breathing to him and with a loud thud Mulciber dropped to the floor. Before Snape could fire a spell James had already invaded his private space. As much as he had wanted to avoid it there was no escaping the confrontations with Snape. His wand tip stopped short of the skin stretched over Snape's throat. Disdain was shining in Snape's eyes and maybe a tiniest spark of fear.

"Snape, let me give you a piece of advice. Be careful with whom you side. Some allies might lead you to lose something most precious." James said sincerely. He took a step back and turned around. He had had enough of this. He needed to find Remus.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Snape hissed darkly from behind him. Great, apparently he had hit a nerve. Completely unintentionally for once. Before he could do anything else Snape had sent a jinx towards him. James evaded it again. Damn, he had wanted to avoid this kind of confrontation.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" And his spell hit Snape square in the chest. With a thud, Snape fell. James let out a sigh.

"Potter!" An angry shriek resounded from behind him. Oh shit, why the hell was Lily here?! James was screwed. So much for the progress he had made.

"Evening, Evans!" James turned around smirking at her as he twirled his wand between his fingers. In secret he was hoping that she didn't notice that he was nearly sweating buckets.

oOo

Sirius left the library behind with a dark scowl on his face. It felt as if the book inside his bag was burning through the material and branding his skin. His theory might be true as much as he didn't want it to be.

Remus had been nowhere. The library had been the best bet and even that one had been empty. He had gone there last. Remus hadn't been there. He hoped the others had more luck. He had spent the rest of the time researching as much as he hated it. Sirius hated the results even more because it meant that Remus would always be hurting.

When Sirius arrived at the Great Hall only Peter was there waiting.

"Did you find him?" Peter asked as he visibly perked up only to wilt again when Sirius shook his head.

"Maybe James had more luck" Peter said hopefully. Sirius doubted it but decided to keep his mouth shut for once.

"Talking about James, where is he?" Sirius asked with a frown. It was unusual for James to be late for one of their meet ups.

"I have no idea", Peter said with a shrug of his shoulders. He had wondered the same thing. As though summoned by their thoughts a harried looking James rounded around the corner.

"You're late!" Sirius exclaimed upon catching sight of him.

"You try to be on time after being at the receiving end of one of Evans rants about how much of a toerag you are." James said with a roll of his eyes and an annoyed huff.

"Are you all right?" Peter asked with a worried frown. Even he knew that James had a soft spot for Evans and being screamed at by her was probably not good. James waved Peter's concern off.

"I'm fine though that was mildly annoying." James said as he pulled a grimace. Sirius snickered for which James promptly slapped the back of his head.

"Did you find him?" Peter asked quickly before it could escalate into a playful brawl in the middle of the entrance to the Great Hall. Sirius sobered though James shook his head.

"Though I've got a pretty good idea where we could find him," James informed them, with a cheeky grin.

"Oh?" Sirius made an interested noise and leaned towards James. Peter looked hopefully at him.

"We need to go back to Gryffindor tower"

"Why?" Peter asked with a confused frown.

"Because Remy was clever. He was there all along hidden beneath my cloak" James explained and Sirius had the sudden urge to hit his head against the wall, repeatedly.

"Merlin's beard, we are so stupid" Sirius groaned.

"Should we bring him dinner up? I doubt that he ate much today." Peter asked with a small worried frown.

"And some hot chocolate" Sirius added sagely.

"Good idea" James said as they made their way towards the kitchen.

They asked the houselves working in the ever busy kitchen to bring their dinner and Remus' up to their room because their friend wasn't feeling so well. The houselves caved easily at the sight of their pleading and worried eyes. When they thanked them the houseelves became all flustered.

With fake nonchalance, they entered their room. Their steaming hot dinner had already been brought up by some overeager elf. James signalled the other two to be silent as he sneaked over to Remus bed. He stopped next to it and reached out with his hand. Slowly he inched forward till he felt something solid beneath his fingers even though his eyes saw nothing there. James tugged on the cloak and slowly he pulled it off. Beneath it a sleeping Remus appeared. He was curled around his pillow as he was deeply asleep.

"We were running all over the bloody castle while he slept here the whole damn time!" Sirius grumbled with and aggravated huff. Peter let out a relived sight though he could understand why Sirius was slightly peeved. He could have avoided Hagrid's rock cookies had he known that Remus had been here the whole time.

"Remy, wake up!" James gently shook Remus. He only nuzzled his face deeper into the pillow and Sirius tired patience snapped.

"Oy, Remus wake the bloody hell up!" Sirius shouted. Peter sent him an admonishing look as Remus woke up with a start. He scrambled into a sitting position.

"What-" Remus only just managed to get out before he was tackled by Remus and Sirius. Their arms came around him and they hugged him so tightly that he was afraid that he would soon no longer be able to breathe. It was made worse when Peter scrambled on top of the pile trying to hug him as well.

"We are so sorry!" All three of them said at once.

"We shouldn't have pushed-" "Merlin, Remy please don't just disappear!" "So sorry!" "Please don't be mad at us!" "We won't push-" "We shouldn't have asked!" "- Never meant to hurt you" "We will stop asking!" "-sorry" The three of them had started babbling. Remus was already struggling to breath underneath all of his friends and he could hardly make sense of their babbling when they were talking all over each other.

"Guys!" He tried to get their attention but they just continued talking over each other and so didn't hear him.

"GUYS!" At his shout his friends' mouths snapped with a nearly audible click.

"Firstly get off. I can hardly breathe. Secondly please repeat that WITHOUT talking all over each other." Reluctantly they got released him though they stayed close to him. Sirius nudged James who sent a dark look in his friend's direction.

"We are sorry. We won't push anymore" James said with a tentative smile.

"So please forgive us?" Sirius asked as he tilted his head to the side and looked at Remus with pleading eyes through the hair that had fallen into his face.

"We brought you dinner" Peter added as he held out the food as if it was a peace offering.

"And some hot chocolate" Sirius added as he pressed the warm cup into Remus hands.

"So please forgive us noisy little idiots?" James asked with a small grin while there was only sincerity shining in his eyes.

Remus gaze went from one face to the next and he couldn't help the warmth that spread through him at the sight of his friends. He knew that he would lose their friendship once they found out the truth. There was no doubt that they would find out one day. They were far too clever not to. They were his friends now and he would cherish that, though it would only cause him pain in the long run. It would be worth the pain. Better knowing how it feels to have friends than never knowing how it felt having them. Remus smiled at them.

"There is nothing to forgive"

oOo

That evening they went to bed earlier than usual. Sirius waited till he could hear the even breaths of all of his friends. Once he made sure that all of them were really asleep he pulled out his wand and muttered a quiet Lumos.

He pulled out the book he had hidden beneath his pillow earlier that evening. He leafed through the pages till he found what he was looking for. He began to read feeling something dark and heavy settle around his heart. His gaze was always drawn to a picture in the corner. The picture was shaky and something big and predator like stalked towards the camera. The being became clearer the closer it came. His fingers brushed over the now clearly visible snarling wolf with human like eyes.

oOo

**A.N.: One exam done three more to go. Fanfiction writing was one of the only breathers I have truly allowed myself in between the huge amount of learning. Thus I managed to finish this chapter earlier than expected. It was hard to write and I am not completely happy with it but I hope you enjoy it. And I wish you all a belated happy new year. **

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews and thank you for wishing me good luck on my exams …. I will probably need it. The first one was ….. Quite hellish.**


	20. Beneath the full moon

Beneath the Full Moon

oOo

It had taken them a few days to return to normal. Remus had been wary in the beginning and it took them nearly a week to get him comfortable again.

Lily was still pretty pissed at James and either ignored or glared at him. To his friends' surprise, James didn't seem overly bothered by that. He continued teasing her good naturedly even though she nearly always almost bit his head off in retaliation. Snape's glaring and insults had gotten worse. One time Sirius had started to shout obscenities at the Slytherin till McGonagall came and interrupted him. James was a bit disappointed. He had hoped to avoid the hate relationship this time around. But maybe not all was yet lost. He still had over six years to change it.

Currently he was lying in bed and staring at nothing. In his mind he was going over plans and ideas. He reached a decision sooner than he would have thought possible. He guessed it was about time to do something about Remus' furry little problem. He sat up in bed and stopped staring at the ceiling in frustration. He fumbled for his glasses and silently sneaked out of his bed.

He pulled apart the curtains from Sirius' bed. After much furious shaking and whisper-shouting (however he managed to do that), Sirius finally blearily opened his eyes.

"What?" He asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. James held a finger to his lips silently hushing him. Sirius sent him an irritated look. Still somehow James managed to push a quietly complaining Sirius into the bathroom. After he had managed that, he turned towards Peter's bed.

Peter was a lot easier to wake up and somehow usher into the bathroom. James sneaked a look through the curtains of Remus' bed and found the werewolf fast asleep. With a satisfied nod, he let the curtains falls shut and disappeared into the bathroom as well. He locked the door and put up a silencing charm.

"Is this going to become a new habit?" Sirius asked around a yawn.

"Isn't this the first time he has done this?" Peter asked with a raised eyebrow from his position on top of the toilet seat. Sirius had made himself comfortable in the shower stall.

"No, it is not" Sirius said as he looked darkly in James' direction.

"Sorry not sorry" James answered with a grin.

"You are way too chipper at 3 in the morning" Sirius complained and Peter grunted in agreement.

"Sirius, I think you know why I dragged you guys in here at this time of the night." James sent a pointed look in Sirius' direction. He immediately sobered and lost all traces of sleep.

"I know and I guess you came to the same conclusion as I regarding Remus' secret." Sirius stated as he dared James to contradict him with a single look.

"You guys found out the truth?" Peter asked sounding much more alert than he had before.

"We think that he might be... Well, that he is..." Sirius stopped talking as he pulled a pained grimace.

"A werewolf." James stated bluntly. He had enough of sugar-coating things. Peter gaped at the two of them.

"B-But werewolves are supposed to be dangerous and Remy is anything but dangerous!" Peter protested. James felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. Peter was taking the revelation much better than the first time around.

"Remy is not dangerous but Mr. … Moony is" Sirius stated with a grin. James blinked at the sudden reappearance of Remus' nickname.

"Mr. Moony?" James asked with an amused smile.

"The first thing that came to my mind to describe him" Sirius said with a carless shrug of his shoulders. Peter knew that his protests were feeble but he just couldn't believe that their friend was a dark creature.

"Remus disappears once a month. I checked, he always disappeared during a Full moon." James said with conviction. After all he knew that it was true. Had known the first time around, still knows it now.

"B-But hardly anything can harm a werewolf so why does he always return injured?" Peter asked. It was one thing he knew about werewolves namely that it was very difficult to injure one. At Peter's words, his friends expressions paled.

"Remember when we asked him about his scars? He didn't deny that he himself was responsible for them." The pained look on Peter's face was answer enough for Sirius. As if any of them could forget it. "If there is nothing to hunt, hurt and devour a werewolf turns on itself." James continued with a sad glint in his eyes. Peter's face lost all colour

"He gave himself those wounds when he was a werewolf?" Peter looked like he would be sick at any given moment.

"Every scar on his body was caused by his own claws and teeth during a full moon." Sirius confirmed with a pained grimace. He didn't want to think about how much it must hurt.

"Except for the bite on his side." James stated darkly.

"What bite?" Sirius asked as his gaze focused on James.

"He has a large bite on his side. He was digging his fingers into it when we asked him about the scars." James said, scrambling to come up for some excuse. He had slipped up again. "Also the scar is older than any of the others."

"And how do you know that?" Sirius asked with narrowed eyes.

"My mum is a healer, you know. She showed me some things" James kept it deliberately vague. "The bite is probably from the werewolf that originally bit him."

"How old do you think he was?" Peter asked in a small voice.

"Merlin, he must have been nothing more than a small terrified child" Sirius breathed out with a pain etched across his features. Nothing more than an innocent four year old child James thought with a heavy heart.

"So what do we do now?" Peter asked as he looked at the other boys. He was feeling completely lost.

"Nothing changed. So what? Remus might have a furry little problem once a month. That is not a big deal." James said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You make it sound like he has a mad rabbit." Peter commented with a trembling smile.

"Well, true enough." Sirius answered with a laugh and a shrug of his shoulders.

"I think we should follow him to make sure our theory is true." James stated softly.

"Eh? Hello?! Claws and teeth made for human meat?" Sirius asked with an amused smirk, though he didn't discard the idea. Peter though looked a little green around the cheeks.

"No, I don't mean be there next to him during the transformation. He has to be locked up somewhere during the full moon. We could follow him to that place." James elaborated with a small sigh.

"Also we could make sure that he is 100% a werewolf that way" Sirius added after he had thought about it for a short while.

"Good, then we know what we are going to do the next full moon." James said with a grin.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Peter asked with a small sigh of exasperation.

"Nope!" James and Sirius answered at the same time.

oOo

Remus looked horrible the day of the full moon. It was another pattern they had noticed. He always looked ill the day of the full moon. A small part of Peter still hoped that Sirius and James were wrong. He didn't want his friend to go through such pain on a regular basis. They had studied a lot more about werewolves and it sounded horrible and oh so very painful.

"Come on, Remy, just one more bite?" Sirius pleaded with puppy dog eyes as he tried to persuade Remus to eat more. He had barely eaten anything.

"I can't." Remus stated and pushed his almost full plate away from him.

"Are you sure?" James asked with a frown. Remus nodded.

The three friends shared a look but gave up trying to get Remus to eat more. Sirius and Peter hurried to eat the large quantities of food still on their plate. The quicker they finished the quicker they could get out of there. Remus felt uncomfortable in the Great Hall. He winced at every loud noise. He was as tense as a bowstring. As soon as they finished their food they stood up to leave.

"Come on, Remy. Let's go" Sirius lightly clapped Remus on the shoulder. Together, the four friends left the great hall. They immediately made their way towards Gryffindor tower. Once they reached the tower they made themselves comfortable in the common room. Peter, James and Sirius were playing exploding snap while Remus read a book. He wasn't in the mood for such games, even though his headache stopped him from enjoying the book as much as he usually would.

Shortly before it got dark outside, Remus put his book away. He had already told them this morning that his mother was sick again and he could only visit her this night.

"Well, I have to leave now," Remus said as he got up and pulled on his robe. He had discarded it over the back of the couch when he had sat down to read. Sirius, James and Peter froze in the middle of their game.

"Okay, give your mother our well wishes," James said with a small, sad grin. The other two nodded along. Peter hoped that he looked convincing.

"I will, see you tomorrow," Remus said. He hated lying to his friends.

"See you tomorrow" His friends echoed. As soon as he had stepped out of the portrait hole, James pulled out his cloak from his bag. After making sure that the Common Room was truly empty from any spying eyes, he threw the cloak over the three of them. They shuffled through the portrait hole and slowly followed Remus.

"Where is he going?" Sirius asked. The whispered question was barely audible, still James hushed him. Remus hearing was a lot better than a normal humans. Remus stopped walking in the middle of the corridor. The three friends stopped moving and barely dared to breathe. Remus glanced around before shaking his head and continuing on walking. After slumping slightly in relief, Sirius, Peter and James continued trailing after him.

It became pretty clear soon that he was on his way towards the Hospital Wing. They silently followed him. They didn't dare say another word out of fear of being heard. Remus disappeared inside the Hospital Wing. James stopped his two friends from following inside. Before they could question him however the door opened again and Remus stepped out together with Madame Pomfrey.

The two passed them without noticing that they were not alone in the corridor. Remus wrinkled his nose though as if he caught a familiar scent from somewhere unknown. They followed them out onto the Hogwarts grounds. It was pretty difficult to navigate the terrain without any light. They only light was from Madame Pomfrey's lantern.

"Why are they going towards the Whomping Willow?" Sirius hissed quietly.

"That tree is bloody menace." Peter agreed with a scowl. He had nearly been hit by the thin branches during one of their snowball fights. It had almost taken out Peter's eye. Since then they had decided by mutual agreement not to get too close to the tree ever again.

They watched transfixed as the Whomping Willow stopped moving when Madame Pomfrey touched a knot at the roots. She ushered Remus down between the roots into a tunnel. She followed shortly after him. James snatched the arm of Sirius shirt before he could follow.

"Wait. If we follow and the tunnel is too small, we could literally bump into Madame Pomfrey." James hissed quietly.

"Good point. But what if he is in the tunnel and transforms?" Peter asked.

"The full moon is not yet out," James pointed out and so they waited in front of the tree for Madame Pomfrey to return. They didn't have to wait for very long as Pomfrey reappeared pretty soon. They waited till she had disappeared before pulling the cloak off. During that time the Whomping Willow had slowly started to move again. James stuffed the cloak into his bag.

"Lumos," Their wand tips slowly illuminated the area. Sirius' eyes quickly found a branch that would reach the knot. With a healthy dose of weariness for the tree's branches, Sirius tentatively reached out and touched the knot with the tip of the branch. Once again the tree froze.

James was the first one sliding into the tunnel. Peter followed and Sirius was the last one in after making sure that no one was following them.

"Careful!" James warned and grabbed the back of Peter's shirt to stop him from tripping over a stone jutting out in the middle of the tunnel.

"Thanks," Peter whispered.

They came to a stop at the end of the tunnel when they couldn't move forward anymore because they had reached a dead end. James pointed out the locked and secured trap door above them.

"I guess we found where he transforms." Sirius pointed out unhelpfully.

"You guess?" Peter asked with a raised eyebrow. Sirius playfully hit his friend's shoulder.

"We found it so now let's go back" Peter stated. Something gave him an uneasy feeling. Before they could take more than a few steps back to where they came from, a scream interrupted them. It was a scream filled with unbearable pain and fear.

"Remy," Sirius whispered as his face lost all colour. Peter started shaking next to him and James balled his hands into fists. The scream broke off into pain filled whimpers. Another screams ripped through the air. More pain and anguish than before in the horrible noise coming from behind the trapdoor.

Sirius whirled around and frantically tried to open the trapdoor to get to their friend, to somehow help.

"Sirius, stop!" James hissed as he forcibly held Sirius back from the lock on the trapdoor.

"He is in pain" Sirius protested with anguish filled in his voice. He fought tooth and nail against the hold James had on his arms. Peter was crying.

"Stop it!" James wrapped both his arms around Sirius to stop him. Sobs of pain reached their ears through the locked trapdoor and Sirius renewed his efforts to get to their friend.

"We have to help!" Sirius insisted as he tried to scramble towards the trapdoor. He had lost all reason. He only knew that Remus was in pain and that they had to help him. James knew the feeling. He himself wanted to scramble up there and help but he knew that it wasn't possible yet. James let go of him and before Sirius could regain his footing he whirled him around. He pulled him towards him into a crushing hug.

"We cannot do anything. Remus would blame himself if any of us got hurt!" James insisted as he held Sirius. Sirius protested feebly but at some point ceased his struggles, hugging James tightly back as if his life depended on it.

Another scream ripped through the air this time it turned into bloodcurdling howl at the end. Sirius stiffened in his arms and James tightened his grip. Peter was still crying and James held out his arm. Peter scrambled into the embrace clinging to James and Sirius as he cried. James closed his eyes tightly against the tears that wanted to rise. It hurt. It hurt so bloody much to hear Remus be in pain.

They lost all sense of time as they clung to each other and listened to the howls, the sound of teeth ripping into flesh and the noise of claws splintering wood. He was able to smell them through the trapdoor and it was enough to send him into a blood lusting frenzy. Claws tried to rip through the trapdoor but it was too robust to give in. At some point the three friends collapsed onto the dirty floor. They lay there in the dirt listening to something they could barely bear. Peter and Sirius were laying half on top of James.

"There has to be something we can do to help." Peter whispered as he whipped the tear tracks from his face with his sleeve.

"I haven't found anything." Sirius answered from where his face was pressed into James collarbone.

"There has to be something." James insisted and he already knew what that something was.

"Our next big research project?" Sirius asked as he lightly raised his head. His eyes were slightly puffy. There was no other evidence that he might have cried.

"Project: Help Moony," Peter said with weak grin.

"We should start working on that as soon as possible." James added as a very vicious growl travelled through the trapdoor.

"We should leave," Sirius said but he made no move to get up.

"I don't want to leave him alone," Peter whispered. Remus was always alone and in pain. He shouldn't have to be alone anymore.

"Then we stay here," James said with a small smile. "I brought some of the books about werewolves along"

"Maybe we can find something that could help him," Peter said with an eager expression. Sirius and Peter finally got up and allowed James to sit up. His back was not happy with him. From his bag he pulled out a few of the books he had found on Lycantrophy.

Their wands were the only source of light as they sat in the dark tunnel and studied the books. Remus' vicious howls and snarls fell into the background as they became immersed in their research.

A whimper cut through their research and they scrambled to put away all their books and notes. James pulled his bag onto his shoulder. The cloak was inside if they left the bag behind it would lead to loads of trouble. Another whimper followed by a wrecked howl that turned into a human scream. Sirius, James and Peter clutched at each other's hands like they were the only lifeline keeping them afloat. Sobs of pain were mixed in between the whimpers and screams.

Finally what felt like an eternity later the whimpers ceased, James immediately stepped forward to unlock the trapdoor.

"Do you guys really want to see this?" James asked softly. Seeing Remus covered in wounds and blood was not a pretty sight, he knew it.

"It is our Remy," Sirius answered with a weak smile and a small shrug.

"How can we accept all of him if we shy away from this now?" Peter asked softly. James couldn't help the smile that hushed over his features nor the swell of pride at those words. He reached out and ruffled through Peter's hair. Peter slapped his hand away with a pout and a small smile.

"Alohomora." James whispered and the lock sprung open. He slowly opened the trapdoor and stepped into the Shrieking Shack. Sirius and Peter followed him warily. Their gaze took in the destroyed room covered in scratch and bite marks. The couch had seen better day and one end had apparently been used as a chew toy.

James ignored the destroyed shack and instead followed the smears of blood into a dark corner. Remus lay there unconscious. He was covered in blood and wounds. He heard the sharp inhale from behind him.

"Remy," The name left Peter's lips in a small horrified whisper. James reached out and felt along his neck. A strong if slightly unsteady pulse greeted him and he let of a small sigh of relief. Sirius leaned down and gently brushed the hair from Remus sweaty forehead. Remus remained unconscious not even stirring as Sirius touched him.

"Will he be all right?" Peter asked. He stared at Remus with a worried frown marring his features.

"He will be all right," James answered with a small smile. A creak from the direction of the trapdoor made all three of them freeze.

"Quick, upstairs!" James hissed. The three of them scrambled up the stairs as quickly as possible. Once at the top, James had managed to pull his cloak out of the bag and threw it over the three of them.

Madame Pomfrey stepped into the shack and cast a suspicious glance around. She had heard something but there was nothing there. With a small shake of her she kneeled down beside Remus.

"You poor boy," She took of her cloak and securely wrapped Remus up in it. She pulled out her wand and gently lifted Remus into the air. Together with him she left through the trapdoor.

James pulled off the cloak and let out a sigh of relief. The other two echoed the sigh.

"Remus is in good hands now" James said with a small smile that Peter returned.

"I am bloody exhausted now." Sirius said as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Me too" Peter said around a yawn.

"You guys do realize that we have lessons in about two hours" James asked with an amused expression. He himself would like to do nothing more but keel over and sleep for eternity. His eleven year old body was not used to staying awake throughout the night, even if his mind was.

"Let's skip Herbology" Sirius proclaimed as he landed face first in the bed in the room on the first floor of the shrieking shack.

"Agreed!" Peter proclaimed and let himself fall onto the bed as well.

"Give me some space," James said as he climbed onto the bed as well. They immediately feel asleep exhausted by the night's discoveries.

oOo

**A.N.: I survived my exams! And I already know that I already passed three out of four. From the fourth one we haven't received our marks yet so no idea. So now I have free time till the end of March and that time will be used wisely! More chapters are to come soon if I do not get interrupted.**

**Here is another chapter. It wasn't easy to write and I wanted to cuddle the boys as I was writing this so much. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Reviews are as always welcome and appreciated. Also thank you for the wonderful reviews up till now.**


	21. Protective Instincts

Protective Instincts

oOo

James woke up to hair in his face, something which he would definitely have liked to avoid. In addition to that, something was sprawled half on top of him. That Something turned out to be a sleeping Peter and the hair belonged to Sirius. Sirius had hidden his face in James' shoulder and his hair was literally everywhere in James' face. It didn't matter how they went to bed in the end, they always somehow ended up sleeping piled on each other or entangled in each other. James pulled a grimace, barely managing not the get some of Sirius' hair into his mouth. He managed to untangle himself from his friends.

He had no idea what time it was. James got out of the bed with huge yawn. His clothes were sleep rumbled and he bet that his hair was sticking up in every direction imaginable. He tried to flatten it but he could pretty much already guess that it was a futile effort. James looked out the barricaded window but was unable to even guess the time. Well, at least there was still light outside, so they hadn't slept the whole day away.

"What time is it?" Sirius asked in a disgruntled voice filled with the desire to continue sleeping. Peter just mad a small sound and turned around.

"I have no idea," James answered around a yawn. "But I guess we should get back to the castle, people might be wondering where we are"

Sirius groaned but managed to sit up. Peter was not as cooperative.

"Sleep-" Peter protested still seemingly half asleep.

"Nope, enough sleep. Time to get up" James insisted as he jumped back onto the bed jostling Peter.

"No." It was more a whine than a protest. Peter turned around hiding his face in the crook of his elbow.

"Okay," Sirius answered with a large grin. He was now much more awake. Before Peter could react, Sirius had grabbed his hands and James was looming over him with a devious smirk. He slowly raised his hands wiggling each of his fingers.

"Don't!" Peter protested loudly as he realized what James was planning. He tried to get out of Sirius' hold to no avail. James advanced and started tickling Peter's sides without mercy. Peter was laughing and gasping in between for James to stop. Sirius was finding the whole spectacle terribly amusing. Peter was laughing while squirming to get out of Sirius' hold and away from James' tickling fingers, though James stopped when Peter accidentally kneed him in the stomach. It was a bit too close to his lower region.

"So what are we going to do about Remus' secret?" Sirius asked after Peter had finally caught his breath and hit James on the shoulder in retaliation. Not that James was the least bit sorry for his actions.

"Tell him that we know." James answered bluntly.

"Do you really think that's such a good idea? You remember how he reacted to our question about his scars. I don't think he would react well to that" Peter said with a thoughtful frown.

"He would try to run and avoid it at all costs." Sirius said. He had to agree with Peter's statement.

"But we also cannot make him wait this long. I don't want him to believe that we would hate him were we to find out about his Lycanthropy." James said as he ran a hand through his hair making all his efforts to flatten it even more useless than before.

"We need a moment where he cannot hide from us." Sirius said with a grimace. He already knew when such a moment would arise and he felt kind of bad that would use such a time.

"I know what you're thinking about and it is our best bet to get him to actually listen to us." James said with sigh. It would make things easier and it wouldn't end with them searching the whole castle for a crying Remus like the first time.

"You guys do realize that I cannot read your thoughts like you apparently can." Peter commented dryly.

"Okay, Pete then answer me this. Tomorrow or in a month?" Sirius said as he grinned at Peter.

"If I understand what you think correctly I'd say a month. We already scared him pretty badly. I doubt that he would take kindly to us finding out the truth at the moment," Peter said with a small frown.

"Okay, so agreed. In a month we shall reveal the truth," James said with a shrug.

"Maybe we can even find a way to help him within that month." Sirius said with a small frown on his face. The hope might be futile.

"We might just manage that." James said with a small grin. He now only had to remember in which book the whole animagi are immune to a werewolves bite was written.

"Also we maybe shouldn't tell Remus about our plan when we reveal that we know. He might deem whatever we could potentially find as too _dangerous_." James said as he made quotation marks with his fingers and rolled with his eyes for good measure.

"True, but firstly we need more research material than just the six books of the library." Peter frowned while he indicated with his hand towards James' bag in which these books were stored.

"I could maybe see if my parents have any books about werewolves," James remembered that there was at least one book somewhere in their home. "I just have to do it under the pretence of needing it for an extra assignment Remus wheedled us into doing or something along those lines."

"Good idea, I can forget asking my parents. My mother wouldn't react well at all." Peter admitted with a disappointed expression. His mother had the tendency of being slightly overprotective.

"Me too. My parents are out of question but Reg might be able to send me some books," Sirius thought out loud.

"Next question, where could we put those books if Remus isn't supposed to find out?" Peter asked James with a raised eyebrow. James' only answer was a broad grin as he pointed his finger upwards. Peter and Sirius followed his gaze. In the ceiling there was another trapdoor probably leading to the attic.

"Brilliant. Remus would never ever think of looking for them here" Sirius said with a broad grin.

"Well I'd say project: Help Moony is officially underway," James grinned. Peter groaned. He hadn't thought that they would really take up that name for the 'Project'.

oOo

Remus had the nagging feeling that his friends were acting strange but he had no proof. They were joking around and jostling each other like normal, throwing their arm over his shoulder, ruffling through his hair and showing their affection in their typical tactile way. They hadn't tackled or jostled him too much though, for which he was grateful. His wounds from the Full moon still ached. He had returned yesterday evening to his friends eagerly awaiting his returning, asking questions about his mother's health and about his own. This morning he had for once not been awoken by Sirius jumping on his bed like an over energetic puppy but by Peter gently shaking him awake. James had ended up on the receiving end of his overeager puppy morning wake up call. James had not been amused, which made Remus wonder how someone so young can be so cranky.

Sirius had grabbed Remus' bag and had refused to return it. He had carried it alongside his own all the way to the Great Hall. Peter had pushed a chocolate bar into his hand proclaiming that he needed it more than him. So far it was a very strange morning.

Currently they were sitting at Breakfast and Sirius was reading a letter from his brother with a grin that softened towards a fond smile at the end. He tucked the letter away safely.

"Remy, you need to eat more." Peter stated decisively from in front of him. Remus arched an eyebrow at his statement.

"Pardon?" Remus asked bewildered.

"I said you need to eat more. You are a growing boy after all." Peter stated as he pushed parts of his own food onto Remus plate. Peter willingly sharing his food was a rare sight and Remus was left feeling slightly confused.

"He is right." Sirius proclaimed around a mouthful of food. He pointed his fork on which a piece of egg was pinned in Remus' face. Remus wrinkled his nose.

"You are only skin and bones," James stated with a bit of indignation in his voice. He reached forward and poked Remus in the side as if to prove his statement to be truth. Remus stared at them.

"You finally lost it," Remus stated bluntly. He felt slight concern for his friends' mental health. His next suspicion was that someone had cursed them with a mother hen curse. If something like that exists, that is.

"Now, that is not very kind at all!" Sirius chided once again swirling his fork around in front of Remus' face. This time a piece of sausage was pinned on it. One of these days he would bite off whatever was on Sirius' fork.

"Ah let him be his grumbling self," James said with a snort as he reached out to ruffle through Remus' hair. Remus slapped his hand away. Okay, he was going to have to amend his earlier statement they were more tactile than usual.

"Potter," An angry voice said from behind him and James promptly choked on his piece of bread. Peter pressed a glass of orange juice into his hand which James took gratefully. He gulped the juice down in one go before he turned towards the source of the voice.

"Morning Evans," James said with a well hidden grimace. Remus arched an eyebrow it was unusual for Lily Evans to seek out James.

"You and your friends weren't in Herbology yesterday. That is not acceptable behaviour and utterly irresponsible. Where were you yesterday?" Her words were heavily layered with accusation and her eyes were glaring at James. Remus' head whipped towards James. He hadn't known that his friends had skipped Herbology.

"We overslept," Peter piped up for once not cowering in fear under Lily's gaze.

"Overslept till after 12 am? You are lying." Lily said with a dark look.

"It is the honest truth." James answered with a shrug.

"Well, I don't believe that."

"Though luck. It's the truth." Sirius said with a sour smirk. Lily huffed and turned towards Remus.

"From Potter I expected it but from you Remus, I do not" Disappointment was implied in her words and Remus blinked confused. He had thought that everyone knew that he was supposedly visiting his sick mother.

"I-" Before Remus could tell the lie Sirius interrupted.

"It is none of your business, Evans." He stated coldly with his arms crossed. Even Peter seemed miffed with her and James just smiled at her.

"Today is not the best day for a confrontation." James elaborated pleasantly.

"Whatever!" She whirled around and walked away.

"Catastrophe successfully avoided." James said with a sigh of relief.

"I wonder just why she felt the need to confront you about it. She must have missed you terribly in class." Sirius teased James with a broad grin and a saucy wink. According to the yelp of pain from Sirius James had apparently kicked him under the table.

"Sirius, shut your trap." James said with a sweet smile. Sirius looked utterly scandalized.

"Such horrible language!" He said as he pretended to dramatically faint. He leaned against Peter who ignored the spectacle next to him and continued to eat.

"Why weren't you in Herbology?" Remus asked suspiciously not to be distracted by his friends' familiar antics. Something was nagging him about the whole thing.

"Full moon, couldn't sleep" James answered between bites.

"We stayed awake the whole night and crashed in the morning." Sirius continued ignoring the way Remus had gone a tad paler at the mention of the full moon.

"We didn't wake up till after Herbology was finished." Peter added.

"Before you ask, we have already had to apologize to Prof. Sprout and now we have to write an essay as punishment." James continued with a small sigh.

"Good" Remus said as he ate the extra food Peter had given him. The rest of their breakfast was a quiet affair. As they got up to leave James grabbed Remus' bag and didn't return it.

"Can I please have my bag back?" Remus asked for what felt like the millionth time.

"Nope." James answered with a grin.

"You don't have to carry it," Remus tried to protest but his friends wouldn't hear any of his complains. His bag was only returned to him when they stood in front of the charms classroom.

They took their seats in the far back of the room. Remus somehow ended up sitting in the middle of them. It was something else he had noticed. The others had almost formed a protective circle around him on the way to the classroom. For a moment he had almost believed that they had found out the truth but he had quickly dismissed that thought. They wouldn't be acting so protective of him otherwise. They might have simply noticed one of the bandages he was hiding beneath his clothes.

Charms passed relatively quickly and it was very uneventful. James and Sirius had spent most of the lesson passing notes back and forth. Peter had tried to listen to the professor and had mostly succeeded. As he looked at his neat Charms notes he realized that he would have to ask somebody else for the Herbology notes since his friends had apparently slept through it.

Remus had put his back out of reach of either Sirius or James but he had forgotten someone who was still well within reach. This time it was Peter who snatched his bag and refused to give it back. Remus gave up asking after it became very clear that Peter wouldn't give up the back no matter how much Remus tried to weasel it back from him.

He received his bag when he sat down in their Transfiguration classroom. Sirius slipped into the seat beside him. James and Peter were sitting on his other side. He should have realized that this seating arrangement was not the best idea. That he hadn't noticed sooner he blamed on his injuries and the fact that his friends were acting weird.

McGonagall was just starting to explain the process of turning mice into snuffboxes when it started. Namely, a small folded piece of parchment shakily floated over his desk towards James. Remus could already feel the headache coming. He had hoped that it would be the only note of its kind but sadly he was mistaken. James and Sirius continued to pass notes back and forth via floating notes that just had to pass over his desk. It was only a matter of time for McGonagall to notice.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black!" She thundered as she swept down between the desks towards them.

"8 points from each of you for passing notes during lessons." She exclaimed as she snatched the floating note out of the air. James and Sirius cringed slightly as she unfolded it. She arched an eyebrow in their direction. They tried to send her their best innocent smiles. McGonagall's mouth twitched but otherwise she continued to look at them sternly.

"Since apparently it is more important to discuss dung bombs and exploding candies I would be delighted if you could please perform the transfiguration I have explained throughout today's lesson." Her arms were crossed as she regarded them with cool indifference. With a flick of her wand two mice appeared on their desks.

James looked bored and sent McGonagall a look that spelled something along the lines of 'really?' Sirius looked at her with a small smirk but Remus had the suspicion that it was more bravado than anything else.

James performed the spell perfectly on the first try. He turned his mouse into a golden snuffbox decorated with the carving of the Hogwarts crest. Sirius snuffbox ended up having whiskers but otherwise quite beautiful and even slightly decorated, so he had at least been partially listening. In the end James and Sirius regained the points they had lost easily. Give James and Sirius a wand and tell them to perform a practical spell they would get full marks but give them a quill and parchment to write an essay they would complain and hand in half-finished work. Or Sirius, at least.

James and Sirius behaved for the rest of the lesson. That might have been because of the close eye McGonagall kept on them throughout the rest of the lesson. It almost seemed as if she expected them to pull out the dungbombs mentioned in the note at any given moment.

"We need a secret code!" James declared as soon as they left the room. Remus had to argue with Sirius over his own bag. He had lost again simply by James distracting him for just a moment. He was slightly miffed with them. He was capable of carrying his own back no matter the wound on his left shoulder.

"Good idea, we cannot let just anybody understand our notes." Sirius said with a nod.

"What kind of code?" Peter asked with an interested expression. They were currently on their way to Hagrid. They had thought it would be nice to talk to him. They had only exchanged a few fleeting conversations since October.

"Well, I have no idea." James pretended to concede with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Remy, maybe you can come up with something!" Sirius turned towards Remus with an eager expression. At his friends' expectant looks Remus conceded defeat. He was starting to see a pattern there.

"I will see if I can come up with something." Remus answered but made no promises.

"As long as it is not too easily encrypted." Sirius said with a shrug of his shoulder as they stepped out into the cold. Peter pulled out his scarf from his bag but instead of wrapping it around his own neck he started wrapping Remus' neck up in it. Remus let him, too befuddled by this turn of events. He had stopped walking in surprise. Peter tied the scarf and seemed satisfied with it before starting a small discussion concerning wizarding chess with Sirius.

"Get used to it." James declared with a grin before catching up with Sirius and Peter. Remus was left standing there feeling completely out of his depth. He shook his head once to clear it before shrugging his friends' weird behaviour off. He followed them and if he burrowed deeper into the scarf it was no one's business but his own.

oOo

Regulus waited till he was sure that his parents had left to visit his grandfather before he finally peeked out of his room. He had pretended to be feeling slightly unwell otherwise he would have had to come along. His parents had finally left, the only people inside Grimmauld place currently were Kreacher and him.

He made his way down the corridor. He walked past his father's study and opened the door leading to the Black family library. He stared at the rows of books seemingly all bound in black. Okay, it might take him a little longer than expected to find the books he was looking for.

Sirius letter was also very unhelpful. His brother could have at least been a bit more specific about what kind of books he wanted about werewolves. Some titles would have made his work a lot easier. Regulus sighed before searching through the shelves for books about werewolves. His brother so owned him for this.

oOo

**A.N.: I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for reading :)**


	22. Acceptance comes easily

Acceptance comes easily

oOo

With the beginning of March the leaves on the trees started sprouting. The Marauders started to spend more and more time outside. They celebrated Remus' birthday beneath the starry sky in the forbidden forest. They had found a small clearing perfect for their intentions. Over a small bonfire they roasted marshmallows and laughed till late into the night. They drank hot chocolate and ate a chocolate cake backed by Peter. Gifts wrapped with care were handed to Remus whose eyes were suspiciously misty. It was the first time he received gifts from someone other than his family. That night was one of his most precious memories.

And now it was time to return the favour. He shared a nod with Peter and Sirius. They were wearing colourful party hats. Sirius had insisted on those. He stepped forward and drew the curtains of James' bed open. At the sudden flood of light, James let out a grumble and turned around while still asleep.

"Jamsie, wake up!" Sirius said. When James continued to ignore him, Sirius discarded the idea of treating him nicely. He turned around and put a bit of distance between himself and the bed. He jumped onto the bed with a loud yell and started shaking James. Remus rolled his eyes. Apparently it was too much for Sirius to even spare James on his birthday.

"Sirius, get off!" James protested from under his best friend. He had woken up as soon as Sirius had landed on his bed.

"Happy Birthday!" Sirius exclaimed as he spread his arms wide and hugged James way too hard.

"Let him breathe, Sirius!" Peter said with a laugh. In his hands he held a cake lit with twelve candles. With a melodramatic sigh Sirius released James while muttering about damn mother-hens. As soon as Sirius released him, James scrambled to put on his glasses.

"Happy Birthday, James!" Remus said as he sat down on the bed besides James. With a small amount of pride, Peter handed the cake over to James.

"Happy Birthday! I hope you like strawberry cakes." Peter handed over the cake. James' eyes lit up as he looked at his friends and at the cake.

"Thank you," James smiled softly.

"Come on, blow out the candles and make a wish!" Sirius was like and eager and excited puppy. James snorted at the thought.

"And don't try to get him to tell you his wish," Remus said with a smirk towards Sirius, who sent him a wounded look.

"Me?! I would never try to do that!" Sirius insisted with a pout.

"Sure," Peter's answer was filled with doubt. James and Remus snickered at Sirius' hurt expression.

"Come on, make a wish!" Peter said. An eager grin was stretched across his features. James closed his eyes and took a deep breath. To think of a wish was easy.

He blew out all 12 candles at once.

"Well, I guess that means that your wish will come true" Remus declared with a grin. James hoped so. He had wished for a happy ending for everyone.

"Come on! Open your presents!" Sirius said as he dumped a load of colourful wrapped parcels in James' lap. James grinned. He had the feeling that today was going to be a good day.

Remus watched as James unwrapped his gifts. He was thanking them and grinning from ear to ear. He was already feeling the itch under his skin. The full moon was nearing but that was still two days away. He had to live in the moment, dreading what was to come would only terrify him.

"Remy, look at that!" James exclaimed as he held up a book he had received from his parents with an eager grin. Remus banished all thoughts of the full moon from his mind and sat down beside his friend.

They had spent the rest of the day goofing around. Laughter had followed them throughout the day. Sirius had stuck a sign with the words 'Birthday boy' to James' back. They had run around with party hats on their head the whole time. Even Lily had congratulated him with a small smile. She was still miffed with him and he could understand that. Snape was still glaring and sneering at him but there hadn't been a confrontation. James interpreted it as Snape's birthday present to him.

For once they had gone to bed at a reasonable hour, emphasis on had. Shortly after he had fallen asleep he had been shaken awake by an excited Sirius. At least this time he was not the one dragging them into the bathroom. This time he was the one being dragged into the bathroom. Sirius pushed him into the bathroom and went back to wake Peter up.

James yawned and rubbed his eyes. For once he had slept without a trace of nightmares and Sirius just had to wake him up. Peter stumbled into the bathroom with a disgruntled expression on his face. James was starting to see a certain pattern developing.

"This better be important." Peter crumbled as he made himself comfortable on the floor.

"Oh, it is important!" Sirius exclaimed with a mad cackle and a wide grin. He pulled out a small black book from behind his back.

They had read every book about werewolves they could get their hands on. Some books had been horrible. James had even gone so far as to set one of them on fire. The book had been called 'Lupine Lawlessness: Why Lycanthropes don't deserve to live'. It had enraged the three friends to no end. In the end there had been nothing but ash left of the book. Luckily they had taken it out of the library without anyone knowing. So the sudden disappearance couldn't be blamed on them. One book though broke their hearts and Peter had cried as he read certain parts. Hairy Snout, Human Heart had made them even more protective of their friend. They didn't want Remus to go through the things the author had to go through. The books that had actually turned out useful were stored away in the attic of the shrieking shack.

The book Sirius presented them with though had nothing to do with werewolves. On the cover the word Animagi was written in silver writing. Underneath it there was a drawing of a silver falcon taking on the form of a man. The painting was moving.

"You are brilliant" James breathed in awe. He hadn't thought that his friend would find the solution to their problem this quickly. He would have thought that he would have to nudge them in the direction. If that wouldn't have worked, he would have hit them over the head with the answer.

"Oh I know," Sirius said with a smug grin. Peter groaned. Before he could complain about their apparent telepathy again James decided to elaborate.

"Werewolves don't hurt animals, remember? We read that line over and over again in almost every book." James said with a grin. Realization dawned as Peter understood the implications.

"You want to become Animagi!" Peter breathed with a certain amount of awe. He still clearly remembered the display of Professor McGonagall's transformation.

"We can stay by Remus side as Animals." James said with an eager expression.

"Isn't the process of becoming Animagi highly dangerous?" Peter asked with a worried expression.

"It can be. That's why we are going to be careful" James added with a reassuring smile. Nothing had gone horribly wrong the first time around, so he was hoping that nothing would happen this time as well. On Peter's face a thoughtful expression appeared.

"So if we do this Remus won't have to be alone during the full moon anymore, right?" Peter asked as he lightly chewed on his lip in worry.

"Yes, we would be able to stay with him as animals." Sirius grinned. He was still giddy from his discovery. He had found a way to help their friend.

"We might even be able to prevent him from getting hurt so much" James added with small grin. Peter took a deep breath and banished the remaining fear. For their friend there was nothing they wouldn't do.

"Then there is only one thing we can do." Peter concluded with a grin that bordered on cheeky. "Let's become Animagi."

oOo

Remus woke up to the feeling of throbbing pain. Pain was always a constant during and after the full moon. He had dealt with the pain since he was four years old, though the more he grew the more the wolf grew. It is becoming much more vicious and angry and apparently he pain would only become worse the older he became. It was one of the reasons why werewolves in general didn't reach old age. He didn't want to think about how much worse it would hurt in the future. He didn't want to imagine the pain becoming worse.

A pained sound escaped him when he shifted slightly. Slowly Remus opened his eyes. He blearily looked at the white ceiling of the hospital wing. He was laying in the familiar bed hidden in the farthest corner of the hospital wing, the white curtains drawn around the small space. It was a small corner save from prying eyes.

His mind was still cloudy. Everything looked fuzzy and out of focus. It felt as if he was looking and thinking through thick fog. He didn't notice that he was not alone. Only the gentle touch of someone brushing his hair from his sweaty forehead made him realize that he had company.

"Go back to sleep, Remy" A voice whispered from besides him. He turned towards the sound and James' smiling face came into focus. It made no sense. Through his haze filled mind he realized that James wasn't supposed to be here. Yet he was powerless to do anything about it nor comprehend why he wasn't supposed to be there. A sound of confused distress left his lips.

"Stop worrying," Another voice said from his other side. With no small amount of effort he managed to turn his head towards the source. Sirius was grinning at him. He reached out and gently tapped his forehead.

"Stop over thinking it with that big brain of yours," Fond amusement coloured his voice. It wasn't supposed to still sound like that. Remus' thoughts were muddled and sluggish and steadily becoming more indistinguishable.

"Sleep will help you heal." A third voice piped up from besides James. Kind blue eyes and sandy hair. Peter.

"Everything is all right." Peter reassured as he squeezed Remus' wrist. Remus was too tired to think anymore. He fell back asleep the confusion lost as he slumbered.

A fond smile wormed itself onto James' lips as he pulled the blanket higher to cover more of his friend.

"He still looks terrible." Sirius observed with a frown. It disturbed him that Remus had managed to drag himself back to their dorm last month while in such a state. It was no wonder that he had looked like he would keel over at the next best moment.

Remus looked even paler against the white sheets. The stark white bandages wrapped around large parts of his body didn't help. Still it was a welcome sight over his form being covered in open wounds and blood.

"It could be worse." Peter stated grimly. He had been the one to look up werewolf injuries and scars. The pictures were burned into his mind.

"Poor Moony..." James said with a small sigh. He brushed his fingers through Remus sweat soaked hair. The nickname was back again and they had a hard time not calling Remus by it to his face.

"We will help make it better," Sirius proclaimed with steely determination. Their friend would no longer be alone.

They slumped back into the chairs they had dragged besides Remus' bed. Peter and Sirius let out breaths of relief at the fact that their friend had woken up, even if he had been slightly dopey. Sleep was the only thing he could do that would not aggravate any of his wounds.

James bend down to retrieve the black book from beneath Remus' bed. He had stashed it down there at the first sign of their friends struggle for consciousness. Sirius pulled out their small red notebook from beneath the mattress. The book was filled with their research on Animagi.

They had sneaked into the hospital as soon as possible and had taken up residence beside Remus. Their research was sprawled all over Remus' bed, or had been till Remus had stirred. Now that their friend was asleep again they were free to continue their research.

"Do we really have to run around with a mandrake leaf in our mouth for a whole month?" Peter asked dubiously as he looked up from the book he had been reading. They had actually done this last time and James had no clue if it had helped or not. He shrugged.

They continued their work in relative silence and without any interruptions. The only reason why they hadn't been found by Madame Pomfrey yet was because of an emergency. Something had exploded during a potions lesson and the students had ended up with nasty looking boils that itched far more than they hurt. For once James and Sirius were innocent, though the same could not be said about Peter.

oOo

The second time Remus awoke, the lingering fuzziness had evaporated. He was able to think clearly again. The pain was still there but it had turned into a dull throb that he could ignore. He froze at the sight that greeted him when he had opened his eyes. He had hoped that their presence had only been a dream induced by the pain and the potions flooding his system. James, Sirius and Peter were asleep laying half sprawled on his bed. Peter was snoring. The sight should have made him feel something other than bone chilling terror. They weren't supposed to be there. Fear prompted his reaction.

He scrambled backwards as quickly as he could. In his panic he had forgotten his injuries. Pain raced through his body like fire. A pain filled gasp left his lips before he could supress it.

The sound was enough to rip his friends from their slumber. They had become attuned to the slightest sound of distress. So that someone was awake when one of them had a nightmare.

James was the first one to blink awake. Sirius followed soon after. He stretched as he let out a big yawn. Peter mumbled something under his breath as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Remus was frozen. He could only hear the erratic beat of his own heart thundering in his ear. Fear was swirling like acid in his stomach. James' gaze focused on him.

Despair tightened up his throat and made his breathing shallow. He tried to brace himself for their faces to turn into snarls of disgust. He had lost his friends. He was sure of that and it hurt. It hurt so much.

"Remy! You're awake!" James' face broke out into a grin that blindsided Remus. There was not a trace of disgust. Only relief and joy at seeing him awake. Maybe they still didn't know.

"Even coherent this time," Sirius added with a smirk. Peter was frowning at him.

"What are you doing sitting up?" Peter exclaimed with a worried huff. "You're aggravating your wounds. Lay back down, Moony!" He scolded as Sirius and James snickered.

Remus let out a strangled sound at the nickname. Peter himself didn't seem to get the significance of the name.

"Better listen to Pete, Moony" Sirius added with a laugh while James grin broadened.

"You know." The words left Remus mouth in a near silent whisper.

"What? That Peter is a mother hen?" Sirius asked with a smirk curling his lips. Peter hit his shoulder for that comment.

"What do we know?" James asked him with an eerie calmness. His gaze held a silent challenge. Remus gulped and clenched his hand into fists. Peter and Sirius were staring at him without blinking.

"Y-You know ….. what I … I am." Remus managed to get out. James' eyebrows both rose towards his hairline. Peter looked like he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing and Sirius snorted.

"Well sure, you're Remus." James said as he indicated towards him.

"Not who, he said what." Sirius drawled still with amusement written all over his face.

"What is Remus?" James asked with mock thoughtful look on his face.

"A bookworm," Peter piped up.

"Too serious for his own good. Though not as Sirius as me." Sirius grinned around the words.

"A walking library," James added.

"A goody two shoes,"

"Helpful,"

"Always there when one needs him,"

"Chocoholic. A pure chocolate junkie,"

"Earnest,"

"Courageous,"

"Loyal,"

"Good. Not an evil bone in his body,"

"Sweet and shy,"

"Shy? No, not really. More like a sarcastic know it all,"

"Scarred," Peter added quietly. Throughout the words his friends had uttered Remus had flushed and squirmed. Now he was slowly losing colour again.

"In pain,"

"Scared,"

"Insecure,"

"Frail,"

"Strong,"

Remus was looking at the earnest expressions of his friends. He couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope that maybe he hadn't lost them.

"Isolated,"

"Hidden behind lies,"

"A bad liar,"

"A terrible one at that,"

Sirius took a deep breath before he said the next words: "A werewolf."

Remus felt as if the floor had been pulled out from under him. He curled into himself and bit back a whimper. It hurt. His worst fear was coming true he lost them.

"I .. I understand if you don't want to be my fri- …. roommates no more." Remus managed to get out after minutes of silence.

"Didn't you listen to anything we said?" Sirius said around a groan. "Being a Werewolf doesn't define you. You are all of the above AND a werewolf. Not just a werewolf,"

"Most importantly, you're our friend," James added with a grin.

"We wouldn't be the same without you." Peter added. Remus knew that he was gapping at them but his mind was simply unable to process what they were telling him.

"There is no way we would let you move out." James proclaimed.

"To put it bluntly, we don't care that you're a werewolf." Sirius said with honest eyes.

"You're our Remy, our Moony. Our friend." James was smiling. Remus was trembling and everything was becoming blurry again.

"Hey, please no tears. Come on, Moony!" Sirius' smile was soft around the edges. It only made the tears trail down his cheeks faster. Peter let out a small sound of distress and reached out. Before he could fully realize it he was in the arms of his friends. All three of them were surrounding him, touching him and trying to offer comfort. Remus was sobbing in earnest by now.

They accepted him. They accepted every dark corner and each blood soaked claw. Most importantly, they were still there. They were still his friends.

oOo

**A.N.: I wanted to update this chapter last month but life got in the way. I am sorry. I hope you enjoyed it anyways. Also this chapter title was a menace. **


	23. Flying Beds and Violet Clouds

Flying Beds and Violet Clouds

oOo

"POTTER, BLACK, LUPIN AND PETTIGREW!" McGonagall's enraged voice shouted through the corridor.

"Evening Minnie!" James hollered back. The nickname had slipped out without his intention. Sirius laughed loudly from next to him while Remus let out a groan, thinking that they were already in more than enough trouble, James didn't need to add to that. A terrified squeak was the only sound Peter made.

"POTTER!" McGonagall sputtered indignantly as she rushed after them in her nightgown. Filch was trailing behind her. He was wearing a dark expression and was glaring at them, which was turning out to become quite the common experience. Filch still hadn't forgiven them for April 1st, even if the prank he was mad about had not even turned out completely right.

April first had turned into a disaster according to the opinion of the general population of Hogwarts. James and Sirius were of a different opinion. Even Remus and Peter found it hilarious. Floating water bombs had trailed after students and after professors as well. They hit them at the most unexpected and inconvenient moments. It had taken them quite a bit of research to get the spell to work as they wanted it to. James had been banned from using it at the beginning. His water bombs had always exploded earlier and were much larger. They also used sticking charms on quite a lot of people. Even on themselves. James had run around with Sirius attached to his left arm.

Lily had not been as amused by the whole thing. She had been glued together with Alice. They ended up tripping all over each other for most of the day. Lily's death glare followed them the whole day and that was even before the tab in the third floor bathroom exploded. It had been James' fault, a spell had backfired. He had overpowered it, again. It was the reason why Filch was still pissed at them nearly a week later. At least it hadn't been a toilet, or else James would have felt obligated to send the toilet seat to Molly Weasley.

"Stop this right this instance!" The angry cry of McGonagall pulled him out of his mussing. Her face was flushed and angry red and her usually so neat hair was a mess.

"I have no idea how!" James declared with a whoop as Sirius steered them around the corner with flourish. It was a lie but she didn't need to know that. Peter looked a little green as he clutched to the bedpost.

"Out of the way!" Sirius shouted with a mad cackle when Peeves suddenly appeared in their path. He made a quick evasion manoeuvre around the madly laughing Peeves. The side of the bed lightly scrapped the wall and nearly caused James to fall off. Remus managed to catch his sleeve in the last moment and thus stopped him from tumbling down.

"Thanks!" James said with grin. Remus answered with a small grin of his own. The next full moon was soon. At the end of this month. He was still very uncomfortable talking about it. They had reassured him so much that he had slowly started to relax a bit more when talking about the full moon. The Pranks were also a brilliant distraction. They kept his mind busy and made him laugh.

"My poor bed," Peter said with a mournful look as he inspected the damage on the side of the wooden frame.

"It will survive," James said as he patted Peter's shoulder.

"Hopefully," Remus added with a wince as Sirius barely managed to steer it around a sharp left corner.

"Don't insult my skills!" Sirius complained loudly. He looked over his shoulder to glare at his friends.

"We would never dare to!" James declared with a dramatic hand over his heart, even if he knew anything other than a motorcycle or a broom was better not steered by Sirius. He was the one steering because he had won at rock-paper-scissor, but James already knew how bad of an idea that actually was. He had once driven Lily's parents car backwards through their garage wall. Though that happened after Hogwarts.

"Sirius! Face forward!" Remus snapped. Sirius whipped his head back around and barely managed to avoid hitting a low hanging chandelier. James ended up with spider webs in his face.

"Yuk spider webs!" James complained as he brushed the webs from his face. Pater snickered at him as he tried to clean his glasses.

James turned around to check whether or not they were still being followed. And indeed McGonagall and Filch were still running after them. James couldn't quite resist the cheeky wave.

Sirius steered the bed sharply around a left corner. Exactly in that moment a door opened and Hagrid stepped out. There was no flying over Hagrid in this hallway. He was too tall. Sometimes him being so tall was a real inconvenient no matter how much they liked Hagrid.

The four boys let out shouts of alarm as the bed quickly neared the wide-eyed Hagrid. Sirius managed to jerkily change the course of the bed. Thus evading Hagrid by a hair's breadth. The quick manoeuvre had caused Sirius to lose control. Instead they crashed full force into the suits of armour lining the opposite wall.

With an ear-splitting amount of racket they collided with them. Wood splinters, cushion feathers, fabric pieces and parts of armour flew everywhere. Their impact with the cold stone floor was jarring.

All four boys lay sprawled on the ground between armour pieces and the destroyed remains of Peter's bed. Sirius managed to sit up with a low grunt of pain.

"Guys! I can't see!" Peter's panicked voice almost shrieked. The helmet of one of the suits had managed to land on his head effectively robbing him of his sight. Remus somehow managed to scramble to Peter's side without getting up. He helped him pull the helmet off.

James was watching them with a dazed expression from where he was laying on the ground. His back felt like it was entirely black and blue.

"Are ye lads all right?" Hagrid asked from where he towered over them. James raised his arm and gave Hagrid a silent thumbs up.

"Just peachy!" Sirius answered with a tired and dazed look. Sirius was trying to get back up. James didn't even attempt to. Everything was hurting too much to even try.

"So much for my bed will survive," Peter muttered with mournful look at the scattered remains.

"We can share," Sirius said with a grin and a wink. Peter send him a scandalized look that bordered on horrified. Remus started chuckling at Peter's expression.

Hagrid sighed at their antics and held out a hand to James. James took it and let himself be pulled onto his feet.

"One day ye are goin' to be seriously injured." Hagrid said with a frown. James guessed that he was frowning. The beard made it hard to tell.

"Aww, are you worried about us, Hagrid?" Sirius said with a broad grin.

"I would be more worried about what she is goin' to do to ye", Hagrid said as he nodded into the direction they had come from. McGonagall was rushing towards them. Fury etched all over her features.

"Let's pray that we survive," Remus said with a small wince.

"Amen," James and Sirius chorused.

"POTTER, BLACK, LUPIN AND PETTIGREW!" McGonagall seethed as she looked down upon them. Her lips were as thin as paper and her hair was in an uncommon state of disarray. Filch was standing behind her sneering at them.

She took a deep breath before addressing them in a much calmer tone.

"What is the explanation for this?" She asked them with narrowed eyes.

The four friends looked at each other. With a crack one of the iron gloves from an armour fell of a torch lining the wall. It fell to the ground with a loud clang. The four of them winced at the sound before trying to smile as innocently as possible at Professor McGonagall. She just arched one eyebrow.

"Detention and 30 house points from each of you for destroying school property and being out of bed after hours," McGonagall said as she crossed her arms. Remus and Peter blanched at the number of house points they managed to lose with this stunt. Filch was muttering something about torture in the back ground.

"Technically we were not out of bed after hours," James couldn't help but comment. Sirius nodded in agreement.

"True, we were still in bed!" A grin was spreading across Sirius' lips.

"In what used to be my bed," Peter muttered nearly inaudibly in the background. Remus light patted his shoulder in consolation. McGonagall sighed and James thought that he saw her lips twitch.

"Fine, Detention and 30 house points from each of you for destroying school property and leaving the Gryffindor tower after hours only to disrupt the corridor," McGonagall amended with a dry tone.

"The only one we disrupted was the armour! Come on, Minnie, that doesn't count!" Sirius said cheekily. He waved part of the armours leg around to underline his point.

"I completely agree. Good point Sirius!" James exclaimed.

Remus sighed and let his head drop into his hands in despair. Sirius and James were only making it worse. Hagrid let out a loud cough that sounded as if he had tried to stop himself from laughing.

"Refrain from calling me that Mister Black or you might lose more house points for disrespecting a professor," McGonagall said with narrowed eyes.

"We would never disrespect you, Professor McGonagall." James and Sirius chorused. She sighed again and for whatever reason she had the feeling she would be doing it a lot in the years that would follow.

"Off to bed with you. report to my office after class tomorrow to receive your detentions." Sirius and James saluted her with cheeky grins before disappearing down the corridor. Remus and Peter send McGonagall apologetic smiles before following after their friends.

"The next years will be interestin'." Hagrid said with an amused huff as picked up the discarded helmet.

"I dread the years to come. They will be terror once they get to even more advanced magic." McGonagall said as she repaired the armours with a flick of her wand. The helmet flew from Hagrid's large hands.

"Yeh don' seem especially bothered by tha'." Hagrid pointed out.

"Good night, Hagrid."

oOo

The loss of 120 house points within a night was not well received by the rest of the Gryffindor house. Glares followed them for the rest of week. James and Sirius brushed them of easily and they hardly left Remus and Peter's side. Especially Peter seemed to wilt a bit under the glares. James couldn't let that happen and subtly tried to help him ignore them or send back a snarky reply.

Lily was still not talking to James. A permanent glare was affixed in his direction. To tell the truth James wouldn't have it any other way. It would feel wrong to disregard how their relationship had been build from resentment to love. Their arguments during Hogwarts were damn amusing now that he could think back on them.

McGonagall had lined their detentions so that none of them had one on the same day. That worked out just fine for them. Remus had detention tonight with Professor Slughorn. It was the perfect time to further plan their Animagi project.

"Okay, so let's go through the plan once again," James said as he looked at their list with a smile.

"The first thing we need to do is find our animal," Peter answered.

"There are two ways to finding it out, one is meditation the other one is casting a Patronus," Sirius recited from memory.

"The problem with the Patronus is it could also be something completely different than your Animagus form," James said. They had done excessive research. "The animal produced by the Patronus presents what defends you against your fear. That doesn't have to be your Animagus," James continued and he couldn't help but feel warmth spread through his chest as he remembered what form Harry's Patronus had taken.

"So we have to find it out through meditation, which is probably going to take a damn long time," Sirius said with a sigh.

"Which is why we will start tonight," Peter said.

"True, but we also need to start training in transfiguration we will need it later," James said. Peter wrinkled his nose. He wasn't good at transfiguration.

"That will be hard to hide from Remus," Sirius pointed out.

"So we need to tell him a plausible reason for our transfiguration training," James said with a shrug.

"Any idea for a reason?" Peter asked with expectant eyes.

"Ehhh, no not yet," Sirius conceded.

"Maybe we could use it as an excuse in order to placate McGonagall?" James suggested but frowned.

"Maybe try to get ahead in every subject to use it for pranks?" Peter said.

"We will tell him when the time comes." Sirius decided there were too many possibilities and only a few Remus would actually believe.

"Do we need an excuse for the meditation as well?" Peter asked as he flipped through their notebook.

"That is easier to hide. Maybe we could say that our parents forced us to do it to become calmer and centre ourselves," James said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"That would only be about you two though," Peter said while he grinned at them.

"You could just say that you were curious and went along with us," Sirius said as he waved him off.

"That could work," Peter answered with a shrug.

James nodded before he pulled out a small book from a hiding place beneath the bed. The words meditation for beginners were written across the front in bold blue letters.

"Okay, this cannot be that hard. First we have to do breathing exercises," James read out aloud.

"That cannot be that hard," Sirius said.

An hour later Sirius was complaining that this was not working out at all. James had to agree with him. It was damn hard to get back into mediating. Peter was the one that seemed to be slowly getting the hang of it.

"Okay this isn't working," James said as he ran his hand through his hair. Sirius made a sound of frustrated agreement.

They continued to try for the rest of the night with little progress. When Remus returned he was greeted by three frustrated friends who refused to tell him why they were so frustrated.

oOo

Their bad mood continued well into the next day. James was increasingly frustrated with himself. He had done this all once before. He had meditated regularly in order to get his Animagus form revealed. Yet whenever he tried it now, his focus got disrupted by one of his darker memories. Either that or he got lost in the things he still needed to do or the problems he still needed to solve.

It didn't help that he had gotten a nightmare as well. Now he was not only grumpy but also tired. Even Lily had sent him a few worried looks. She had nearly asked him more than once what was wrong.

"What the hell happened to make you all so grumpy?" Remus asked for the third time. He was looking at them with a worried frown. Especially at James. The nightmare had woken them all up. They had ended up sleeping together on the floor in a pile of limbs.

"It's nothing important," Sirius waved him off as he shoved the last of food into his mouth. They were currently sitting in the great hall eating dinner.

"Really, stop worrying Remus. It's all right," Peter reassured with a small smile. James grunted in agreement.

"If you say so," Remus conceded defeat with a small sigh. They finished eating in relative silence.

"Oh, I have something that might cheer you guys up." Remus said with a light grin as he suddenly remembered something.

"Oh ho, do tell!" Sirius said as he eagerly leaned forward. Remus looked around as if to make sure that no one was listening in.

"I finished inventing our secret code," Remus said with a proud smile.

"Awesome!" James eyes lit up and he swung his arm over Remus shoulders. Sirius reached across the table to ruffle Remus hair while crooning: "Good job!"

Remus slapped his hand away with a laugh.

"Can you show us after dinner?" Peter asked with an eager expression. He was a bit insecure at how well he would do in remembering the code.

"Sure, but doesn't James have detention after dinner?" Remus said with a questioning look.

"I had completely forgotten about that," James said with a groan as he slumped.

"I had thought so Mr. Potter," McGonagall said suddenly from behind him startling James so that he nearly fell off the bench.

"Good evening professor," The four of them chorused.

"Mr. Potter, please follow me."

"Sure," James said with a small sigh as he grabbed his bag and trailed after her. He waved to his friends before leaving the great hall.

"With whom will I have detention?" James asked her when he couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"With Professor Phiason," was her short clipped answer.

"Isn't that the Divination Professor?" James asked just to be sure. He hardly remembered the man. He could only remember that he was a lot better than Trelawney. Now that he thought about it wasn't Trelawney a student around the time they went to Hogwarts? Oh Merlin, he would have to look out for her. He didn't need more random prophecies ruining people's lives.

"Yes, he was the only that had a free evening," McGonagall said as they continued to walk.

"So I will have detention in the north tower?" James asked. He wasn't really looking forward to walking up there with his short eleven year old legs.

"No, he is awaiting you in the green house," McGonagall said as she wrinkled her nose. James blinked lightly confused at the answer.

"Why?" James asked.

"He will have to answer that question," McGonagall said with a frustrated look.

"Okay," James conceded with a shrug that made light of his rising curiosity.

They stepped outside into the fresh evening air. The sun had just hidden behind the mountains in the distance and night was descending. McGonagall left him standing in front of the green house without further instructions. James sighed as he stepped inside only to come to an abrupt stop when he came face to face with a violet cloud of smoke. It smelled so sweet that it was almost nauseating. Not only was it a cloud of smoke but it was cloud of smoke around a man's head.

"Oh, you must be Mister Potter?" A kind voice asked from within the cloud of smoke. "I am Professor Castalian Trophonius Phiason, Professor of Divination."

"Eh, yes?" James answered automatically to his first question. He was still a little befuddled by the cloud. He had forgotten that Professor Phiason had been a weirdo.

"Wonderful, I require some assistance,"

"With the cloud?" James couldn't help but ask.

"Oh? No, that's normal. Well, not normal and not what was supposed to happen but that's nothing to worry about," Professor Phiason said.

"Sure ..." James starred as the cloud changed its colour from violet to bright yellow.

"Follow me please," James trailed after the professor and only now did he realize that he was hardly a head taller than James.

"I am making the tea that I use for Tessomancy during the lessons in third year. I could use some help harvesting some herbs for other things as well," He said as he stopped beside one of working tables.

James nodded. They started by searching for the right herbs slowly taking a few leaves or blossoms. Some of the names were utterly foreign to him, others he knew. They also harvested things like lavender or yarrow. As they worked the cloud slowly evaporated and a head of messy blond hair with a few strands of grey appeared. Dark kind eyes lined with laughter wrinkles were revealed. A short blond beard around a smiling mouth that patiently explained the attributes of certain herbs. A carved wooden pipe emitted the colourful smoke whenever Phiason took a drag of his own special herb blend. It was a side project he was doing while teaching. Certain herbal blends helped him see the future more clearly, he said.

"Isn't that illegal in a school? Especially when doing it in front of a student?" James asked as he pointed at the pipe.

"I'm not smoking tobacco," Phiason answered with a smile.

"You're using a loophole. Bet McGonagall is not amused by this," James said with a grin.

"That's half the fun," Phiason said as he cut the blossoms into tiny pieces.

He was a none intrusive presence unlike Trelawney. He was calming while she was the opposite. They finished their work in comfortable silence.

"The only thing I still need is some more resin of the Canarium luzonicum tree."

"A what tree?" James asked. He had no clue about plants. That was Neville's speciality.

"An Elemi tree. Their dried resin can be used as an incense material. It helps with meditations," Phiason said as he made his way over to the tree.

James stayed rooted to the spot. He had found the perfect source to help them with their meditation problem.

"Say Professor, my parents want me to take up meditating in order to centre myself and stop being such an energy bundle. Do you have any tips? Or can you show me how to do it?"

oOo

**A.N.: I apologize for my longs absence, real life got in the way plus a writer's block of epic proportions. Sadly, I can already tell you that there most likely won't be in an update in July because I got exams the whole month. Though I will not abandon this story. **

**Well, the first school year slowly coming to an end and I decided that a lot of stuff regarding Voldemort will probably only happen after fourth year.**

**The Canarium luzonicum or commonly called Elemi tree is an actual tree from the Philippines and its dried resin is used for incense. It's attributes are indeed good to clear the mind when meditating or doing yoga. Though I doubt that the marauders will take yoga up any time soon. **

**The process of becoming Animagi has begun and I decided to take a bit of a different approach to it. You will see what I've cooked up with my friend regarding that. **

**The secret code language will be revealed next chapter. I had it created since last autumn. **

**Anyways, enough blabbering. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and reviews are always welcome. Thank you for the beautiful and encouraging reviews up till now. **


	24. Days of laughter and joy

Days of laughter and joy

oOo

Remus opened his eyes slowly. His eyelids felt heavy as did the rest of his body. The white ceiling of the Hospital Wing greeted him when he finally managed to open his eyes. The sight was becoming all too familiar.

"Good morning, sunshine!" James' cheerful voice reached him, making Remus turn his face in the direction of his friend's voice. He tried to sit up only to be stopped by hands gently coming to rest on his shoulder. They pushed him back onto the bed with careful pressure as not to aggravate his injuries.

"No getting up." Peter admonished with a stern look.

"Better listen to our mother," Sirius added with a wink. He was sprawled on the chair besides his bed. Peter rolled his eyes at Sirius' comment.

"How are you feeling?" James asked as he handed him a glass of water. Remus sent him a grateful smile. His throat felt as dry as a desert.

"Better than usual," Remus answered truthfully after taking a huge gulp of the water.

"Good, we eavesdropped on Pomfrey. According to her, your injuries are less severe than they were the last full moon." Peter said as he took the glass from Remus bandaged hands. He put it back on the bedside table.

"As long as you're calm, Moony isn't nearly as vicious," Sirius concluded with a grin.

"Us knowing has lifted parts of the burden," James said with a knowing smile. Remus hummed in agreement.

"How much have I missed?" Remus asked with a tired smile. He hated missing lessons. At least this time the full moon had been on a Sunday. Maybe Pomfrey would let him leave that evening so he could go to class tomorrow.

"Nothing important," Sirius waved him off.

"I think our definitions of important are very different, Sirius." Remus answered in a dry but playful tone. For good measure he even arched one of his eyebrows. It was something which he was trying to perfect. He had the feeling he would need it.

"Oh really?! I hadn't realized!" Sirius exclaimed with wide eyes. Peter snorted.

"After all, it isn't glaringly obvious." James added with a grin.

"Back to my question, how much did I miss?" Remus asked again. His friends got sidetracked way too easily.

"Nothing too important, Sirius actually spoke the truth for once," James answered.

"Oy!" Sirius protested at being called a liar.

"Exams are in two weeks. They wouldn't talk about anything unimportant," Remus said with flat look.

"You need to rest, not study," Peter grumbled under his breath. Sirius mouthed the word 'Mother' silently behind Peter's back.

"We took notes, for once." James said as he pulled a few pieces of folded parchment out of his back. Remus took the notes carefully. There had to be some kind of catch. His friends usually wouldn't take notes, especially not for defense. Out of his three friends Peter was the only one who felt like he needed to take notes in that subject. The problem with Peter's notes was that the writing was tiny and that he liked to use all the space available. Remus realized what the issue was when opened the parchment.

"You wrote the notes in code," He stated flatly.

"Yep," Sirius popped the p as he grinned at Remus.

"I needed the practice. I keep confusing the fact that B is 24 and X is 25," Peter said morosely.

"Ah, no worries Pete. You will get the hang of it eventually!" James ruffled through Peter's hair. He evaded Peter when he tried to playfully hit him in retaliation.

"Great," Remus said flatly as he stared at the pages and pages of numbers in front of him. This was not what he had in mind when he had invented the code at James' urging.

"You guys know that it will take me a while to translate those?"

"As Pete said, practice," Sirius said with a Cheshire grin. Remus let out a loud groan as his friends burst into laughter.

"Stop worrying so much, we've got the notes in normal writing as well," James said with snicker.

"Oh thank Merlin," Remus couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped him at those words.

"We know how important the exams are to you," Peter said as he tried to reign in his chuckles.

The creaking of a door stopped their exchange. James quickly grabbed the pieces of parchment and stuffed them into his bag. Sirius pulled the cloak over them. His three friends vanished as if they had never been in the room.

"Ah, good morning, Mr. Lupin," Madame Pomfrey greeted him with a warm smile.

"Good morning Madame Pomfrey," Remus answered hoping that she wouldn't accidentally walk into one of his friends.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she started checking his bandages.

"Pretty good considering the night I had," Remus answered with a rueful smile.

"Good, I am glad to hear that," She said with a motherly smile as she started to change the bandages on his hands with gentle fingers.

She was silent as she cleaned his wound and rewrapped it. Remus sneaked a glance past her to see a floating disemboweled hand. It waved at him before disappearing. Remus couldn't quite keep the smile of his face. They really didn't care what he was.

"I'm sorry, did I wrap it too tight?" Madame Pomfrey said with a worried frown.

"No, why?" Remus asked.

"You're crying," She answered softly. Remus touched his cheek and indeed they were wet. He hadn't noticed.

"Oh Merlin, I'm sorry." Remus said as he hastily wiped the tears away. Pathetic. There was no reason to cry anymore.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she answered as she tucked the blankets around him. "If you need to talk to someone, my door is always open," She added with a warm smile.

"Thank you," Remus' soft answer made her reach out and gently pat his cheek.

"Try to get some more sleep, it will help you heal," She got up and collected the dirty bandages. She pulled the curtains close as she left. He heard the telltale sound of her door closing.

"Why were you crying?" Sirius' voice asked from his right. The sudden reappearance of his friends nearly made Remus fall out of the bed.

"Merlin, are you guys trying to give me a heart attack?!" Remus hissed back quietly.

"No, but you were crying." James said with a frown.

"What's wrong?" Peter asked. All three of them were wearing worried expressions.

"It's not important," Remus waved off even as their concern warmed his heart.

"Ah wrong," Sirius protested as he sat down beside Remus on the bed.

"Our definition of important is different from yours as you said," James reminded Remus.

"And you crying is definitely important to us." Peter added.

"I just…" Remus gave up trying to find an excuse and just told them the honest truth. "I just realized again that it's real," Remus felt a flush crawl across his features.

"Ah," James nodded in understanding and crawled into the hospital bed. Sirius and Peter climbed in as well. They were careful not aggravate his wounds as three pairs of arms hugged Remus. Remus hid his face in Sirius' shoulder as he fought down the urge to cry again.

oOo

James stared at the parchment in front of him and once again felt nothing but boredom. Weren't exams supposed to be hard? It was all so bloody easy. He could hardly phantom that he had once not known the answers to what they were asking on this parchment.

He heard Sirius snort from behind him. Apparently he was finding this exam ridiculously easy as well. Out of the corner of his vision he could see Peter neatly fill out the parchment. Even he didn't have a problem with the questions.

James wrote down his last answer before looking around the room. Everyone else was still writing. Even Lily was still writing as she bit her lip in concentration. He leaned back into his chair and started playing with his quill. It would be weird if he were to hand over his exam after the first forty minutes. It took him less than half the assigned time to finish the exam.

James managed to pass the time by getting lost in thought. Yet, at some point, even his own mind could no longer entertain him so he raised his hand. Professor Daugherty looked up from where she was reading a book. She closed the book with a nearly inaudible snap and stood up.

"What is it Mr. Potter?" She asked in a quiet manner as not to disturb the other students.

"I am finished, Professor." James answered as he handed her his parchments. A look of surprise passed over her features as she took the parchments and flipped through them. She made sure that he had filled out an answer for every question. Sirius sent him a discreet but amazed thumbs up from behind her.

"Very well, you may leave if you wish to," She answered. James nodded and packed his quill away. James sent his friends a wink each before leaving the room.

The castle hallways were deserted. He walked leisurely in the direction of the lake. He had to shield his eyes from the blinding sun as he stepped outside. It was an unwritten rule that on days of exam the weather was either beautiful or downright depressing. Today, thankfully, the sun was shining and it was the first really hot day of the year, so James pulled a blanket out of his bag and spread it out beneath the oak tree near the water.

When Sirius and Remus found him quite a few minutes later, he was asleep. His arms and legs were spread out he looked a bit like a human starfish. Sirius sent a wicked grin in Remus' direction. Maybe it was tiny bit mean but it was the perfect revenge for how James always woke him in the morning. Remus sent him a glare as he whispered the plan into his ear. But he still helped him. James woke with a start when someone grabbed his wrists and ankles.

Peter reached his friends' side just as Remus and Sirius swung a protesting James into the lake. He landed with a loud splash.

"You are so going to pay for that!" James shouted after he breached the surface spluttering. Sirius was laughing so hard he was nearly crying. James' hair was clinging to his face. It was a small miracle that he hadn't lost his glasses.

"Try!" Sirius said as he spread his arms with a shit eating grin. James slowly waded back to the lake's shore. Sirius evaded the dripping wet James when he tried to hug him. Remus wasn't as fast though and before he could blink he was pushed into the lake.

"Get back here you fiend!" James shouted with a laugh. He ran after Sirius with his fist raised in mock indignation.

"Never!" Sirius shouted as he laughed manically. James grinned when he saw Snape and Lily coming towards them. Just as he had hoped, Snape stuck his leg out slightly so that Sirius stumbled and nearly fell. It was enough for James to reach Sirius and tackle him. He had tackled him so that both of them went over the edge and tumbled into the lake with a loud splash. Snape looked pleased with himself when Lily snorted at their tumble into the water. Though there was a twinkle of worry in her eyes that disappeared when they breached the surface again. Snape made his way back up towards the castle whereas Lily made herself comfortable at the shore of the lake.

As soon as James breached the surface he tried to put a good distance between himself and Sirius. That was not easy with his wet clothes weighting him down. Sirius slowly rose out of the water a dark expression on his face and a piece of sea weed laying on top of his head.

"James!" He nearly growled. James grinned at him before hastily swimming back towards where Remus was still sitting in the water.

Remus grabbed Peter's offered hand but instead of letting himself be pulled to his feet he pulled Peter towards him.

"Remus!" Peter managed to shout before he landed besides Remus in the water. Remus grinned at him utterly unrepentant.

He got a splash of water into the face for the grin. Before Remus could really defend himself against Peter's continued water assault he was attacked from behind by James. James only interrupted his attack when he himself was dunked beneath the water by Sirius. He returned to the surface sputtering and glaring. A water fight broke out. Everyone was a fair target.

For that reason one of the waves created by Sirius and James intended for Peter and Remus ended up hitting someone completely different sitting at the lake's shore. It was their bad luck that the person sitting at the shore was Lily.

Her red hair was plastered to her face and her glare could have set fire to an ice block. She brandished her wand with a dark look. James had a clue what spell she had used, but he didn't know how she knew it. He only knew that he was suddenly beneath a wave taller than he currently was. Their startled yelps were drowned out by the water crashing on top of them.

James breached the surface sputtering and blubbering. Only to realize that the world was not in as sharp of a focus as it should be.

"Merlin's Balls, my glasses are gone!" James yelped, as he dove beneath the water in hope of finding them. His friends joined his frantic search. When he returned to the surface giggling reached his ears. Lily was desperately trying not to laugh.

"Sirius, are the black things she has in her hands my glasses?" James asked as he squinted to see clearer.

"Good luck getting those back!" Sirius said as he clapped James on the shoulder. Peter launched another water attack on Sirius. James ignored his arguing friends and waded towards Lily.

"Oh fair maiden may I please receive my glasses back?" James asked with a low bow. Lily arched an eyebrow as she twirled the glasses between her fingers.

"What would I get in exchange?" Lily asked with a glint in her eyes. James grinned. Apparently even twelve year old Lily knew not to simply return the glasses to him.

"The opportunity to bask in my astonishing presence?" James answered with an exaggerated wink and a theatrical bow. The bow wasn't nearly as neat as always as he squinted in attempt to see anything other than a big blur with red splash on top. Lily just rolled her eyes.

"No, thank you." Her answer was as dry as a desert.

"You wound me!" James clasped a hand over his heart and pretended to faint.

"No pranks for the rest of the school year," Lily proposed with narrowed eyes.

"But the school year is still going for over two more weeks!" James' protest was as close to a wail as he could make it. "Are you trying to murder me?! No pranks for more than two weeks?! We would slowly wither and die! Evans, that's too cruel!"

She watched his theatrics play out with an unimpressed expression. "Take it or leave it."

"Fine. I solemnly swear not to prank anybody during the rest of the school year," James said with an unhappy tilt to his mouth. If Lily would have looked carefully she would have caught the crossed fingers hidden behind his back. After the feast was no longer the school year according to the rule he had just made up. They would need to come up with an awesome prank. Maybe even something that incorporated a bit of Transfiguration training.

"Good," Lily handed him his glasses before getting up. She left with small wave.

"Bye Evans!" James called after.

"Done flirting?" Sirius asked as he dropped an arm around James shoulder. James just rolled his eyes but nodded.

"Good, because I am hungry," Peter commented from James other side.

"You're always hungry," Remus added with a snort.

"I doubt Filch will be happy if we walk through the corridors dripping wet." Peter lamented out loud as he squeezed the water out of his robe.

"Then let's go dripping wet!" James proclaimed.

"Getting on Filch's nerves is always fun!" Sirius agreed with a broad grin.

Remus followed James and Sirius with a sigh. Peter trailed after them feeling pleased that he hadn't lost one of his shoes this time.

oOo

Over a week later the four boys were sitting on the floor of their dorm room. Everyone else in Gryffindor tower had long gone to bed. They still had to finish the last preparations for their special event.

"How many have we got in total?" Peter asked. He was tying a bow around a mouse's neck with a tag displaying the number 38 on it.

"Do you mean mice or animals in total?" James asked as he turned a box of matches into a white mouse. He handed the transformed mouse over to Remus so he could tie a bow with number around the mouse's neck.

"In total," Peter clarified. He pulled out his wand and transfigured another match box into a mouse. The mouse's body was slightly square formed but otherwise it looked quite good.

"98 mice, 38 toads, 44 bats" Remus said after he transfigured a small paper plane into a white bat. He frowned. The colour was still off.

Sirius caught the bat and gently tied a tiny bow around the bats neck. He put it into one of the giant birdcages they had found in an empty classroom. The bats were the hardest to transfigure. A lot of them were white. For some they had used parchment that had been written on now the writing was all over some of the bats.

"Can't I keep one?" Sirius asked as he watched the bats with fascination.

"Sure, though I doubt that your mum would be pleased." James answered with a grin he put the last two mice into one of the cages. They now had exactly 100 mice.

"All the more reason to keep one," Sirius concluded.

"Any ideas what to do about the chickens?" Peter asked as he wrote a tag with the number 104 and tied it around one of the mice.

"Well we've got the thirteen that belong to Hagrid and the eleven the upperclassmen transfigured plus the six we managed to sneak out of McGonagall's classroom." Sirius said.

"We still need to borrow Hagrid's the night of the feast do not forget that," Remus pointed out.

"Also, Peter, brilliant execution of big begging eyes on the upperclassmen," James gave Peter a thumbs up.

"I learned from the best," Peter answered with a grin.

"Moi," Sirius added with a wink.

"Are 30 enough?" Remus asked with a frown. Their room had turned into a literal petting Zoo. Chickens, bats, toads and mice were everywhere. The only thing missing were sheep and goats.

"I think so. They will cause enough mayhem," Sirius added with a smirk.

"I am looking forward to the feast," James laughed quietly.

oOo

**A.N.: I'm so sorry for my long absence life got in the way. And somehow this chapter slowly killed my creativity. Chapter 25 will be done in the next few days. It only needs the final polish. With the next chapter the first year is officially ending. Thank you for the lovely reviews.**

**Oh, and I finally started to post stuff on my tumblr blog. The name is Nightrayspaths. I just reblog whatever I adore. There are many Harry potter posts and other fandoms posts I love. **


	25. Goodbyes and First Meetings

Chapter 25

Goodbyes and First meetings

oOo

Alice felt a little bit like she had just entered a strange new reality. There was a chicken sitting next to her plate starring at her. A literal living breathing chicken that had stolen some of her peas. The number 33 was written in bold letters on the tag gracing the bow around the chicken's neck.

"Chadwick!" Hagrid boomed as he ran after a loud rooster. Alice blinked and suddenly felt something heavy sit on her foot. A toad had made itself comfortable on her shoes. Bats were flying through the hall.

"He promised," Lily hissed from next to her as she evaded a low flying bat. Everything had been pretty normal till the end of Dumbledore's goodbye speech. The great hall was suddenly overrun by mice, bats, toads and chickens. They had appeared out of nowhere.

Her classmates were screaming and screeching as mice ran over their plates. Madame Hooch was standing on the table trying to aim at one of the mice. McGonagall had a dark expression on her face as she transfigured anything that came too close to her. Dumbledore was laughing merrily as a mouse climbed out of his cup. A bang sounded as one of the students tried to leave the great hall. A rain of confetti poured down on the Ravenclaw student's head. Most students were running around and trying to avoid the animals that were seemingly everywhere.

"Potter!" Lily screeched when a chicken that landed on her plate finally broke the camel's back. She got up and stalked over to Potter and his friends.

"Are you going to stare at me for the rest of the evening?" Alice asked the chicken out loud and immediately felt stupid for doing so. The chicken blinked but gave her no answer.

"You promised!" She heard Lily shout from the other end of the table. Alice winced. She didn't envy Potter one bit. Even from here she could hear Potter's smug reply.

"Ah I promised that I would not prank during the rest of the school term. Now it's after the End-of-term feast," Potter replied and Alice would bet her hat that he wore a smug grin.

"So the term has officially ended since it is the End-of-Term feast," Black couldn't help the reply. Alice sighed. Oh Merlin, Lily would lose it.

"Underlining the End in end-of-term," Pettigrew added. Alice got up since it might be a good idea to do some damage control.

"Sorry Lily, you need to be very specific with those two." Lupin apologized with a wince. Alice arrived just in time for Lily to draw her wand. Before she could do something drastic though McGonagall arrived.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew you all will have detention in the first week of the next term," She said briskly.

"You can't! It's no longer a school year!" Sirius protested.

"He is right! Technically the term ended today!" James said in support.

McGonagall simply arched an eyebrow and answered: "I can and I will. You are lucky that Gryffindor cannot start the next term with minus points."

Alice sighed as she watched the display before her. Lily had calmed down by now but was still glaring at the boys. Alice got distracted when someone tumbled into her back.

"Get it out!" Frank managed to get out between laughter. His friends were openly laughing at him. He was squirming as he tried to catch something that was running around beneath his clothes. Alice reacted completely without thinking. She pulled the back of his shirt up. Frank startled at the touch and a mouse tumbled out.

"Why are you always trying to undress me?" Frank asked over his shoulder with an amused expression. Alice let go of his shirt as if it had burned her. Her face was completely beat red. She was saved from answering when a chicken landed on her head.

oOo

Their prank had been a great success. The End-of-term-Feast had ended in chaos just as they had wanted. They had numbered all the animals but had made it so that it seemed that some animals were always missing. 100 mice in which case mouse no. 100 got the number 105 and so it seemed that 5 animals were missing. Filch was pissed at them. They reveled in it.

Somehow it made saying goodbye for this summer easier. Like they made a promise to return together. It didn't chase away the feeling of gloom that hung over them, though.

They had just managed to catch the train on time. Peter had forgotten something so they had to go back and stumbled onto the train completely out of breath.

"Remy please force us to get up earlier next time," James managed to get out between gasps for breath.

"I tried," Remus managed to get out as he slumped onto the seats of the only empty compartment they could find.

"Try harder please," Peter added. Sirius remained silent as he sat down beside the window. James, Peter and Remus shared a worried glance. Sirius had turned suspiciously monosyllabic since the end of the feast. It almost felt as if a dark rain cloud was hanging over his head. James already had a pretty good idea what was going through his best friend's head.

They heaved their trunks onto the rack above their seats. Sirius' and his own owl hooted in protest at the rougher treatment. Peter sneaked them some treats to appease them. The whistle resounded and with a small lurch the train started moving. James sat down beside Sirius.

"Any plans for the summer holydays?" James asked. He could almost feel Sirius' withdraw deeper. He had hit the nail on the head apparently.

"A trip to relatives and nothing else," Remus said with a shrug as he pulled a book out of his bag. If he would get to read it was not guaranteed. It was unlikely.

"Mum wants us to visit Gran and she really wants to visit Denmark again, for about the ninth time." Peter said in a resigned voice.

"I will probably be home the whole time during the summer vacation," James added before turning towards Sirius.

"What are you going to do, Pa-Sirius?" He asked softly. Sirius scoffed and kept his gaze on the landscape flashing by behind the glass of the window.

"Stay in my room and avoid my family," Sirius muttered darkly. His friends shared another worried look.

"You know you can come over anytime you like," James said with a smile. It was the first time Sirius glanced away from the window.

"I think your parents might object to that," Sirius answered.

"Nonsense, they already adore you. They would have no problem with you staying the whole summer holidays." James waved Sirius' concern away with a careless smile.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked with no small amount of hesitation.

"Why I am getting a sense of déjà vu?" James muttered with fond exasperation. "Of course I am sure. Stop doubting me!" James swatted the back of Sirius' head lightly.

"Okay, Okay! Merlin that's no reason to hit me!" Sirius sulked.

"If you are still feeling unsure, I've got my parents' permission," James said as he pulled a crumbled letter out of his bag. He had asked his parents about Sirius staying with them two weeks prior. He held the letter in front of Sirius face with a triumphant expression.

"Oh," Sirius mumbled as he took the letter from James' hands.

"The invitation is of course also for you two," James said as he grinned at Remus and Peter.

"I should be able to visit as long as there is no full moon," Remus smiled though a grimace hushed over his features at the mention of the full moon.

"Mum is probably going to say no but I might be able to persuade her," Peter said with a rueful grin.

"James, you asked for Reg as well?" Sirius asked. His gaze hadn't strayed from the letter yet.

"Of course I did. He is your little brother," James answered. Last time he hadn't asked. He had hardly known about Sirius' little Brother. The only thing he had known was that he had never answered any of Sirius' letters. James had been miffed with Regulus. By now he knows that the boy was in no way at fault.

"Thank you," The raw gratitude in Sirius' expression made James want to squirm. The smiles Remus and Peter send him weren't helping either.

"It was nothing," James answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"It's everything," Sirius said intently.

"All right," James conceded. "Now can we please stop talking about all that mushy stuff?"

Remus and Peter laughed at his expression of discomfort and Sirius snickered. Peter pulled out a set of exploding snap cards.

"Maybe we could play?" Peter suggested. James groaned at Sirius eager grin.

"You are going to regret proposing that, Pete." James elaborated.

"Don't listen to the sore loser." Sirius answered with a mischievous laugh. James rolled his eyes and turned towards Remus.

"Come on, Remy put that book away and play with us. I don't want to be crushed on my own." James said.

"Why do I feel like I am going to lose an eyebrow?" Remus muttered in resignation but he put his book aside.

It wasn't Remus that lost one of his eyebrows but Peter and that after the second round.

"Ha! For once it's not me!" James exclaimed.

"Mum is going to throw a fit!" Peter said with dawning horror.

"Maybe we could draw the second eyebrow on for you?" Sirius proposed as he tried and failed to hold back his laughter. His bark like laughter filled the compartment. Peter rammed his elbow into Sirius' side in retaliation.

"Does any of you have a pen or quill that would do the job?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No idea, we could try though" James said with a grin.

"It couldn't turn out any worse," Peter said with a resigned sigh. "Go wild!"

"You shouldn't have said that," Remus muttered as he watched Sirius draw on Peter's face. Sirius had actually thrown the rest of their glitter into his blue ink pot. James had long ago given up on even attempting stifling his laughter.

"Please tell me he did not use blue glitter ink," Peter asked with despair in his voice when he noticed the empty bottle of glitter next to the ink.

"Sorry I cannot tell you that," Remus said as he snickered. Peter gapped and ran for the bathroom to search for a mirror all the while hiding the drawn on eyebrow behind his hand. He returned shortly with his face rubbed clean.

"The glitter won't come off," He muttered as he sat back down on his seat, a downtrodden expression clear to see on his face. Remus finally took pity on him.

"Maybe one of the older girls has something for drawing eyebrows?" Remus suggested. A glimmer of hope returned.

In the end they asked Sam for help. The prefect was all too happy to help but only after she laughed at the mention of the blue glittering eyebrow. She drew a neat pretty natural looking eyebrow. Peter thanked her loudly. Sam swore not to tell a soul. She was finding the whole thing way too hilarious.

The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful. James and Sirius got into a tussle on the floor. Peter fell asleep at some point whereas Remus managed to actually read a bit.

oOo

Regulus trailed after his parents as they were walking through Kings Cross. There were Muggles everywhere around them. He couldn't help but be fascinated, he had never seen so many Muggles at one place. Some were reading newspapers on which the pictures weren't moving, others were cackling and laughing together in small groups. Two children were playing with a ball that didn't move on its own.

"I cannot understand why we have to go through this Muggle infested train station," His mother's voice pierced through his fascinated staring. It was currently not possible to reach 9 3/4 directly with magical means thanks to an issue with the wards. His parents had voiced their displeasure the whole way.

The grumbling reply of his father went under in the sudden loud announcement from one of the speakers overhead. A train was getting ready for departure. Muggles ran past them jostling Regulus.

He frowned after them. They could have at least apologize. He had thought that Muggles were taught proper manners.

"Regulus, stop dallying," His father's gruff voice said. Regulus hurried after his parents. They were walking with their heads held high, backs straight and an air of cold disdain around them. The Muggles quickly got out of their way.

"Come here Regulus," His mother beckoned him forward. He walked over to her side. She laid a hand on his shoulder. Her pale skin was in stark contrast to his dark robe.

"Stay by my side. You shouldn't get lost especially here surrounded by this filth." Walburga's grip on his arm tightened when a little girl took a step too close to her son.

"Of course, mother." Regulus answered dutiful.

He just managed to stop himself from flinching as he passed through the stone barrier. The platform was full of mingling parents. His parents made their way over to his aunt's side and to the Malfoys. They sneered at anyone that wore muggle attire. Regulus stood dutifully by his parents' side and endured the condescending words. He gritted his teeth when words of pity fell for Sirius. His brother didn't need pity. He was strong, proud and happy where he was.

The sudden growing noise of a steam engine broke off the conversations around him. With a whistle and a cloud of white steam the red Hogwarts Express drove into the train station. In September he would drive to Hogwarts on this train along with his brother. Most parents streamed towards the Hogwarts express but his parents and the Malfoys stayed put.

"Mother, may I go look for Sirius?" Regulus asked. He fought hard to keep the eagerness out of his voice. Walburga frowned down at him. She opened her mouth to refute his plea when his aunt came to his rescue.

"Let him look for your oldest. I for one do not need to get into that mess," His aunt said with a haughty expression. His father nodded in agreement. Walburga pursed her lips into an unhappy line.

"Keep out of the way of the filthy mudbloods," His mother said.

"Yes, Mother." Regulus answered before he calmly walked into the direction of the train. He actually would like to run. He hadn't seen his brother since his departure to Hogwarts last summer. He had missed him even with the many letters he had received.

Parents and students bumped into him as he made his way through the crowd. Everyone was taller than him and that made trying to find his brother more difficult. He barely avoided an elbow to the face. He was surrounded by adults. "Excuse me?" Regulus tried but apparently they didn't hear him. The way was still barred for him. Suddenly a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of mess of bodies.

"Nice to see you again, Reg" A boy with messy hair and glasses said with a broad grin. "Sirius! I found your brother!"

"Over here, James!" Sirius called.

"Come on," James dragged him towards the voice of his brother.

"You were the one that broke into my room!" Regulus exclaimed. He recognized the voice. James let out a booming laugh.

"Me? I would never do something like that!" James answered with a mock offended expression. His eyes were twinkling with mischief. Before Regulus could say anything more he was greeted by a bone crushing hug.

"Hey, Reg!" Sirius whispered into his ear as he tightened his hold. Regulus relaxed and clung to his big brother. The familiar warmth and scent put him at ease in the bustling crowd.

"Pete!" The female screech ripped Regulus out of his peaceful bubble. Sirius let go of him. He looked up to see one of his brother's friends pale drastically.

"May Merlin have mercy on you," James said towards his friend a little wide eyed. A woman with a pastel blue robe and neat blond hair was storming towards them. She was not on the slim side and Regulus had to wince as she barreled into the shortest of Sirius' friends.

"Poor Peter," Sirius managed to get out as he tried to stifle his giggles.

"My Baby! My poor darling! Mommy is here now!" She was crushing him in a hug. Peter looked distinctly uncomfortable. She was fussing over him. Her hands were everywhere trying to make sure that her darling boy was no injured or harmed in any way. Whenever Peter tried to protest she hushed him.

"Let's hope she doesn't notice the eyebrow," A pale boy whispered towards James. It only caused James and Sirius to nearly lose it. They had clasped their hands over their mouths to prevent their laughter from escaping. Still some giggles managed to slip through their fingers.

"Have you lost weight? Are they not feeding you? My poor baby!" She was nearly wailing. Peter's expression was downtrodden and shame faced. James had managed to stop giggling by now.

"I will go rescue him," James said.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Pettigrew," James said as he stepped beside Peter. It finally prompted her to release her son. Peter sent James a grateful look.

"Oh Merlin, let's hope he doesn't make it worse." A deep voice said from behind them.

"Mr. Potter! Good afternoon!" Sirius greeted the new arrival with a broad grin.

"How many times do I have to tell you it's Charlus?" Mr. Potter said with a good natured eye roll. The next moment he had leaned forward and was hugging Sirius.

"Where's Mrs.-Dorea?" At Mr. Potter's arched eyebrow he quickly amended his statement.

"Still in a store in Muggle King's Cross", He answered with a smile. "You must be Regulus. It's a pleasure to meet you,"

"Likewise," Regulus managed to get out, sort of amazed at the warmth with which this man had greeted his brother.

"Dad!" James shouted and barreled into his father who just managed to catch him.

"Hey, squirt!" James and his father shared a laugh.

"You do realize that I had just cleaned that robe?" A female voice said from behind him.

"Mum!" James hugged his mother tightly. She returned the gesture with a warm smile. She kissed his forehead once before turning towards Sirius. She enveloped him in a tight hug as well.

"Hello, Mrs. P." Regulus had never seen his brother grin this broadly. Her warm eyes landed on him next and a smile grazed her lips. Instead of a normal greeting she stepped forward and hugged him as well.

"Nice to meet you Regulus," She said softly. He only managed to nod. Such an open display of affection was something he was not used to in public.

"Remus, dear, come here." The pale boy walked forward and let himself be enveloped in Mrs. Potter's soothing presence.

"Where is Peter?" She asked after a moment.

"In his mother's clutches." Sirius said as he nodded towards Ms. Pettigrew.

"Oh dear, I will go say hello." She said and made her way towards the Pettigrews.

"She might actually be able to rescue him," James concluded with a grin as he watched his mother interact with them.

"She definitely will," Mr. Potter said with a grin.

"Regulus! Sirius!" The voice of Narcissa shouted. All happiness disappeared from his brother's face.

"Mother probably wants to leave," Regulus said quietly. He knew that his brother wouldn't be happy but to see it so plainly on his face was somehow worse.

Sirius was immediately swarmed by his friends. Peter had managed to get away from his mother thanks to Mrs. Potter. They were all hugging him, promising letters and swearing that he can visit anytime.

"Don't forget you and Reg are invited!" James said with a grin.

"I will take you up on that invitation," Sirius said with a small smile.

"Good," The two Potter men said at the same time. It made Sirius laugh lightly.

Mrs. Potter came back towards them with Ms. Pettigrew trailing after her. She enveloped Sirius in a tight hug before hugging Regulus as well. This time he managed to return the gesture. Mr. Potter followed with a slightly more awkward hug for both him and Regulus. James pushed past his parents and into Sirius' space.

"I will miss you" James whispered as he hugged Sirius again. Sirius burrowed his face into his friends shoulder and murmured a reply. They released each other after a while. Sirius took a step back and smiled weakly at his best friend.

"Let's go Reg," Sirius said towards him. The sadness was still in his eyes but it was lessened to a certain extent. Just as he was about to trail after him James grabbed his arm.

"Try to cheer him up and distract him, please." James asked in a worried voice.

"You don't need to ask. He's my brother." Regulus answered. James directed a blinding smile his way, which confused Regulus a bit. He actually stepped forward and hugged him. Regulus was too startled to react.

"I wish you the best holidays," He said before he released him.

"For you too," Regulus answered before he hurried after his brother.

oOo


End file.
